Had to make some serious lifestyle changes and get work done, so I've been paired up with a cool hottie who is laying next to me while I type this shit. Been kind both a crazy-hectic and mellow time the past month and a half, but I've been accomplishing a lot of things that I've been trying to get done.
1.) I quit smoking. Only took me two years. Today marks day 20, and that's certainly over with.
2.) I got an honest job. This will eventually turn into me moving into the city instead of a constant commute in/out (which by the way is a and a half if you're trying to go out 5x/wk+...)
3.) I discovered my major and where I'm basically going in my life. Took me years and years to hone it down, but I am certainly getting my degree in psychology, and specializing in Industrial-Organizational Psych.
4.) I've been solidifying myself as an independent person more and more, sussing out the dependencies on others that have been holding me back for years. This has been a complex series of tendencies that have been brought to light, as well as a proactive move toward independence.
5.) I've started a site where I read and review Personal Development resources, and recommend the ones that would best benefit others in the same line of development (success with women and dating).
Beez have been in the trap.
Now, I'm up early as fuck. Had a fun time out last night at AT with a bunch of guys, opened a bit for them, and then took off midnight to go have drinks and pizza with my girl. Funny to be on the bench for a while. Definitely enjoying it and really taking the time to actualize the notion of "There is no reason why I'm not enough.". It's taken a while to have that really seep in, but the more and more layers of understanding that I can deepen myself with, the better and more secure psychologically I have become.
While I'm still doing my affirmations daily (a habit I recommend and wholeheartedly adhere to), I don't feel as though my "sense of reality" teter on the head of a pin. While I'm greatful and appreciative for every bit of knowledge and understanding I've gained from RSD, I do believe that there has been a fog that I've taken on as well from it. Such as, when I'm in any situation I would analyze my own behavior as well as others. Not exactly consciously, and my actions would still be in line with who I am, but there would be a background incongruency. As in, there is me - being and doing, and here is my mind narrating the person and actions. Cutting it down and nixing this out with active meditation/staying present, but it also took two years to become conscious of.
Gotta love the trials of being a tryhard though.
Gonna take off and relax for a half hour before a meeting. Enjoy the day guys, and I'll probably get back to writing a blog. Writing this again made me realize how I have missed this greatly.
(This blog is me thinking through a more complex issue in my life as far as my masculine direction goes, and the role of fathership in my life. I do think it can help people, but this is not a success with women blog. This is self-actualization more than anything else, personal dev, or just plain retardedness depending on your perspective. Enjoy or don't, it's here.)
For me, Father's Day was a complete and total reminder of why I am the way I am, how I got here, and how much better off I have become since I took control of my own masculine direction in life.
Like many of you, I did not have a strong masculine presence in my life showing me the ropes and teaching me how to live in the world. Some would call me lucky; I have two father figures in my life and have had them since a young age. Yet, yesterday reminded me that I am my own father, my own guiding spirit through my life.
I'm 21. Young, naive, arrogant, cocky, and just starting out in the world. My biological father left my mother when I was a child, and was absent from most of my life. I would see him every once and a while but he would remain as an interchangable variable through most of my existence. My mother met my stepfather at an early age and has been with him for the past 18 years.
Yesterday was a metaphor for their roles in my life. On Sunday, I woke up at the girl's house I pulled and left for the train to go out to breakfast with my mom/stepdad and that side of my family. When I got there, my stepdad was neglectful, unappreciative of my presence, and actually made snips and jabs at my self-esteem with his daughter throughout the family event. This made me feel like shit. It's father's day, and I wanted to be there with him and my family, and show him that I do consider him a father. His response was to treat me as he always has, with scornful neglect and a distaste for my existence. Even with all I have accomplished in the past few years, I was not met with any sort of approval or even common decency. While my sister vied for his attention and approval, I was just present with my family and expressing myself with them.
My sister would bicker at my little brother and me, attacking us both while scanning her father's face for his approval, which he'd give her in droves. When my little brother, who is 9, simply tried to share an interest with his family, she shot him down and stared at her father for aggreement. I said, "Well, you've never really understood that aspect of people. I mean, you can accept him for it or judge him, you choose.". I got up, poured more coffee and came back. I playfully tapped her on the shoulder when I was sitting down to which she replied,
"DON'T TOUCH ME!".
I take this with some humour and lightly laugh.
He yells at me simulatneously , "Shut up, You're fucking arrogant."
And proceeds to ignore the shit out of me for the rest of the breakfast. I check my email later on and read a message from Todd, basically saying that I'm going to be helping organize the Inner Circle meetups/outings with him. I was excited, and (with discretion) shared this with my family. More pokes and jabs at my self-esteem, direction, and where I'm going in life.
This isn't really effecting me all too much, but I hadn't spoke to my father yet today so I stepped out to give him a call. I tell him about this shit and how it sucks that I can read the room like a book and know what's going on and how they're all chasing bits of self-esteem from one another. Granted, I am probably doing the same as I am now on the phone with my father, but I was feeling very unappreciated and hurt by this.
He tells me he'll be around later and we'll hang out. I tell him to work till the afternoon and then we'll hang out once I get some things done. We organize a movie and just some time. He's my father, and it's Father's day.
Day goes on, the events from breakfast eat away at me. I have flipout outside about how my stepdad acted as he always had, by not wanting me there. I eventually come back to reality and remember how awesome I am - unfortunately far too late and after a way too destructive spiral. I call my dad later on in the day and he bails on our plans. This leads to yet another emotional breakdown. Where I eventually closed up, drank alone in my room playing video games and just escaping into unconsicousness and alternate fictional realities. Even that sucked because I was drunk, depressed, and played two games where the idea of fathers were a big role.
(Fallout 3 - Your father leaves you behind and you chase him through the wasteland trying to find him and unravel why he left in the first place.
Bioshock 2 - You're an "Alpha-Series" Big Daddy, running through an Ayn-Rand dystopia killing everything in your path to free your "daughter" Eleanor.)
Aside from being a huge all day, I did manage to go deeply into these events and figure some shit out.
1.) I can't live like this. I don't need a father figure that's strong, loving, open, and free. I am that for myself, have been that for myself, and will always be the role model and father that I have dreamt of having my whole life.
2.) Past pain isn't doing anything good for me, ever. It's holding me back on so many levels, leaving me miserable and disconnected from my family. Even if my family is socially conditioned, borderline retarded, miserable, and neglectful, I am perpetuating the past by holding on to this as a part of my identity. If instead I meet their indifference with openness and love, I at least know that I have done all I can.
3.) It's not my fault that the world is the way it is, and my family is the way it is. The world is unconscious and insane, and the only hope I have to change that is to meet it fully with consciousness and love. If I don't do that, I'm perpetuating insanity.
4.) My dad may act like he's trying, but he's just as absent as my stepfather. I love them both, but I can't give my power away to them. Their guidance can help me but essentially gets me nowhere if I'm not thinking for myself. I can't blame him for being the way he is. If he's weak, he's weak. If my stepdad is angry and neglectful, he will always be angry and neglectful. I should detach myself from needing their approval/love, and instead meet them with my own approval and love.
5.) Giving value to your family is hard, expecially when they don't offer it back in return. I don't mean monetary value, shelter, food. But as far as openness, depth, and fearless love - they don't give what I can. This is not something to be mad about, but instead greatful that I am able to offer such gifts.
6.) I am the only one leading my life, and I am responsible for my life in every aspect. There is no one coming to save me, and my life is in my hands alone.
7.) I am the way I am due to having no masculine direction in my life, being raised by my mother, and then striving the past few years and ultimately getting in touch with my powers of man. I did this on my own. My fathers added to me in certain ways, and mostly in depth. Their unconsciousness caused serious scars to my self-esteem and caused a deal of pain which crafted me into who I am today. This is a good thing, even if I have been running from the pain for years and years.
8.) I am proud of who I am. I know who I am, and what I want out of life. I know what I value out of life. I know what virtues I will embody to attain my values. I have a deep sense of integrity, and am living on my edge. This is something I am proud of. I no longer need my father(s) to see that, approve of it, and validate my existence.
9.) I am enough. There is no reason I am not enough.
10.) The dance never stops, the world keeps turning. The only thing to do is keep moving forward.
Been really battling with drinking and gaming for the past 4 months. I have known that gaming sober would increase my skill to a much more advanced level, but have been using alcohol as a crutch. So, as per my "Life Overhaul" blog have now switched to straight sober.
First thing I noticed was an underlying AA that I had been covering up with alcohol. Get me a little tipsy and I'm a beast from the bat. Take that away, and I had a hurdle to break through.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't chode out all night. In fact, I loved breaking through it. It was just interesting to note that I hadn't really delt with the underlying issues that I should have been dealing with all along.
So, lets start at the beginning.
[SOBER - DAY 1]
I go to get some momentum at my favorite bar, figuring it would be an easy way to get my mind to click over. I go in, and it's practically dead. There's no one here besides a bunch of dudes watching sports and two girls; the waitress and the bartender. Now, here's the thing about this. I've hooked up with the bartender when I was drunk one night at the bar (she was off-duty). I've hooked up with the waitress when I was sober, at a train station. Had her come in for the hug, pulled in, makeout. So these are not cold.
I hug them both when I come in, shoot shit for a bit and talk to a 3set. Goes alright, no talent, just warm. The waitress and I talk, and I tell her that I'm not going to be drinking anymore. She's seen my beastliness and the retarded amount of girls I've hooked up with/pulled out of there, so my sobriety is a shock. She says,
"Good, I like you more when you're sober."
I check the venue out (it really WAS dead) and head to a table to finish my water. I get my coat on and I'm about to leave when the waitress comes up again.
Her - "Hey, you're leaving?"
Me - "Yeah, the night is young."
Her - "Damn, you don't want to go in the alley and makeout?"
Me - *pause* "...Yeah alright."
Go in the alley, makeout, rub her all over, spanking, finger her for a few minutes before she goes back in.
This was fucked up in my opinion. One hell of a way to start sobriety fest.
Walk down to Boylston and hit a few bars. First one I go into, see a few sets but I don't approach. I let nerves get the best of me. Oh well. Fury builds. Head back outside. See Chris Rock on the street. Didn't want to say anything, not feeling like getting the race card thrown at me. However, a 3set sees and yells to him,
"Chris! Nice work!'
and he nods his head. HYFR. Saw Chris Rock. He's taller than I am, which was a shock.
Anyway, right, pussy.
So, got the nerves a bit. Walk down the street and talk to a girl on the street. It's light, I'm pretty in/out of state since I don't know what to even expect of myself. I leave after a minute and get a call from Dr. Evil. We meet up and head into Lir.
Crack a 4set, warming up. Talk shit, about how Evil hasn't left my basement in a year and that my backpack is full of treats if he's on his best behavior. Set starts to die, but I'm warming up.
Hit the twoset to our left that the good Dr. has opened. Talk to the friend about her shirt (Rondo) and how I don't watch sports but love Rack City. This goes well, responsive, and I'm amusing myself. We invite them to Towne but they aren't coming. Bartender tells us that if we're not buying anything then we have to leave. This is bullshit, but whatever. We fuck off.
Now having fun, in state, ect. We head to Dillons and open two nurses off the bat. Dr. Evil's girl is into him, mine is a bit freaked. No big deal, they fuck off. I pop a cute girl behind her and hug/chit chat before she gets pulled out by her friends (they were leaving when I opened).
Check out the rest of the bar but we have exhausted this resources. He pops a waitress at the back and we walk to the front and out.
From here we go to Lolita. This place is cool as hell and I will be returning in the future. Hostess at the door, Evil is on it. They're having fun, I don't wanna linger and head down. I talk to this blonde girl at the couch. She's a bartender, and her last name is Chase.
Me - "That's too weird. When we get married, and I take your name, as is the custom, I'll be Chase Chase."
We have fun back and forth, and there's definitely chemistry. Wing comes down and in and I introduce.
Her - "Hey I'm xxx"
Dr. Evil - "You're horny?"
Her - "And...that's my cue."
Packs her shit and gets ready to leave. I stick in and act like nothing is up. Shoot shit for a bit and then she's walking out. I should have went for the number here, but instead she gives me her work schedule. I would go back there, but not to pick her up. Still, I need to be more impulsive sober. I feel like this missed opportunity alone was enough for me to crank the beast up.
Her - "You're gonna have to come find me again. You gotta work hard for the good things."
Damn straight you do.
Pop a 3 while he's at the back with a waitress. Older ladies. The one I'm locked on is named Natalia, 29 and really shit-testy. I know that drunken beast-mode me would have just mouthraped in a few minutes, but I played it cool with this one and just broke down the layers. Need to work on conversational leading, but this set goes well. Evil comes in and talks to the blonde there. After a while, it starts to die on that end and we switch girls. I hit it off with the blonde as well and him and Natalia are having a fun back and forth. My girl starts telling me about how she "knows my mindset", and I joke that I'm out to inseminate everything.
Basically spends 5 minutes trying to impart wisdom which I listen to, but take breaks to amuse myself, move her around, and play with her. It's pretty much time for us to go, so I hug this one and go back to Natalia. Kinda beast on her but without the "bluhhh letsss makeout betch" that usually comes from my drunkenness. Kiss on the cheek, neck, then partial lips. Shit is gay, but all in due time.
I do like that I was strong and leading during both of these interactions, and definitely better than I had feared.
Head to Towne. It's dead. I pop a blonde waitress and shoot shit about sports and how I don't watch them. Wonder how this comes off. At least I'm congruent to it and think that me spending my time doing things other than watching TV is a good thing. State transfer, bro.
Check out the rest of the venue, and this place is nice as hell. We go back down the stairs and Evil points out a 2set. Fuck it, we go.
Her - "Woah, Do you work here?"
Me - "No, why?
Her - "You walked over like you owned the place." (lolz)
This set goes real well until they ask my age. I'm 21 and to a 30-45 year old woman, it can be a disqualifier that I'm not used to smashing. I've figured something out to deal with it after the fact.
I think it makes them feel self-conscious.
A) Why are you talking to them when you could be talking to girls your own age (who are generally hotter but in this case, there were none and they were fucking hot)
B) It triggers the "I'm too old for you" autopilot they've had to have simply by being women and getting hit on by chodes for 15+ years longer than college girls.
So I devised this "routine" based off of empathy, and also distinguising myself without trying to impress.
Her - "I'm too old for you."
Me - "Yeah, I know I'm young. It's just... I know who I am and what I want, and there aren't many girls my age that are really worth my time anymore. I'm a very intense dude. I love to work. The most girls my age have seen of real men is their fathers, and that's if they were lucky enough to have a strong one."
I like that. None of it is false, and I really am bored of college girls. If they're hot enough, I find a way. 75% of the time, an 8 college girl isn't worth my time. But if she's 23-26 and an 8, she's probably worth it because she's more developed as a person.
Granted I'm here to get laid, but I'm also here to have the women in my life I really want. I don't want a legion of 21-22 year old girls with no personality and nothing going on in their lives. I want a legion of 22-35 year old women with a lot going for them and a lot going on in their lives. Standards or too picky? You decide. I already did.
Anyway, the set is dying out after my age and she says, "Go find some young girls, bye."
Me - "Nah, I'm just gonna go fuck my girlfriend."
Said bye and left. Dr. Evil and I split up and I went down to my girl's house for pizza and sexy times.
~The End - Thank you Sober me.
While this night took me longer to get momentum and over approach resistance, I had a blast. Now I have yet another basket of reference experiences of me sober and beasting w/o alcohol.
(This might just be more for my brain/catalogue sake. Not much to be learned from here except drinkin is bad, mmkay?)
Wed & Thurs - 9 Pandamanda Ruh Ruh layx4
Fri - Royale: 9 Svets, 9 Christine, many more :) 8 Sara layx2
Sat - Lir: 8 Milf, 8 Alicia, so many fucking girls I lost track, 8 Jade, 8 Ellie, 8 Stephanie
- No lay, played it to the fucking hilt. Living by my own standards and not my friends'/society's standards. I really played this night to the hilt. I should not have drank, and would have been sharper/better on logistics. This step alone would amp up my game to a whole new level.
This is the step I am looking for. The glory is to be had.
Some of it hurt, lightly but enough to kick me in the ass. I can't be complacent about this anymore. I am not trying to get fucking drunk 7 nights/wk, I'm trying to get really really good with girls here. This is not a lifestyle excuse to party and get buck-wild. This is my time and path, and I will no longer blithely run through it trashed out of my fucking mind.
Haven't posted in a week. Been very busy working on my work ethic and other areas of my life.
I'm making my life the way I want. That's it.
1) Smoke-free Lifestyle
Been smoking since I was 13. No mas. I don't even enjoy it and I know how much of a fraud it is. I smoke now purely to satisfy addiction and nicotine withdrawl, so this is a joyous celebration. This alone feels like a firmware upgrade from Chase 2.0214 to 2.0216.
Heavy upgrade, been wanting to do that for years and never mustered up the willpower and courage. Huge self-esteem boost and relies heavily upon my faith/trust in myself.
2) Drug-Free Living
I've been prescribed adderall for ADHD for about a year and take it for school. I don't think I need a pill to concentrate and do work. I think this is social conditioning wrapped up with a neat pharmaceutical bow. So I am not taking it. I will instead root and anchor myself consciously instead of relying on a blue magic pill to hold my awareness where it counts. I can do that.
Proved it to myself today. 8:15 Math class, did hard work - no adderall. Sitting here typing, centered. I can do this.
2.0216 to 2.0217.
Other than adderall, I don't want to smoke pot. I smoke far more frequently than I'd like, and frankly would like to take a few years off. Perhaps once I am far more rooted in my reality and have my life where I want it to be financially, I may occassionally smoke. However, I will be ending my solo smoke sessions. They kill my motivation and invite complacency. I'm shooting myself in the foot as far as my potential is concerned, and my motivation and drive are dull because of it.
Plus, I'm pretty sure years of smoking weed can't be good for your wit and mental sharpness. I'm gonna stay clear for a while and get my head right.
2.0217 to 2.0218
3) Alcohol-Free Pimpin
This one is almost self-explanatory for this community. I'd rather have my pimpness anchored to myself and accessible 24/7 than have it be something that I need alcohol for. Granted, its not a black/white issue, but I want to build myself correctly and in the most efficient and effective way possible. No doubt this alone will advance my game to levels I can't fathom.
2.0218 to 2.0310
4) Work Ethic and Financial Abundance Creation
Working hard to become not only a better worker, student, and leader, but pounding the pavement for financial independence. I have a job interview that is perfectly in my income range at my school at 1pm, which I am confident I will get. I am simultaneously cultivating my willpower and work ethic to the highest standards I can possibly achieve, every day. The man I was born to be is ruthless with his self-mastery. There is no room for complacency or childish avoidance of responsibility.
2.0310 to 2.0320
I am currently working on a few different options and ideas for supplementary income, as well as searching deep and learning how to become financially independent. Areas such as affiliate marketing, email blogging, and creative licensing are options I am seriously exploring. Will continue the hunt and update as I go.
2.0320 to 2.0325
I've been really working on my diet as well, making sure I am eating healthy. This requires more research but I do not want to divert any more attention. I can do what I have on my plate, but any more and I risk losing focus and slipping backwards.
So, went out with my buddy RyRy, who is a complete civilian. He just got out of a relationship and wants to have more choice in his dating life, so we shot shit and talked for a while as we went around Cambridge.
Went to a couple bars there, literally nothing to approach. I was feeling off, seeing as he is a friend from before my transformation process and certainly an anchor to my old identity. This caused a degree of resistance to approaching which I had to snap out of.
First set in front of the Mid East went well but short. Told her she was cute and talked for a bit before I fucked off. Couldn't understand her accent. Next approach was a young blonde girl, went in high energy and said some ridiculously fucked up shit.
"AY. Where you goin? You ain't goin' nowhere!"
To me, this is hilarious. To an 18 year old girl from the suburbs, this is scary as fuck.
Headed to a different bar, got a beer and talked for a while. It was nice to catch up and get some insight into how his life has been going.
He said pickup would be easy for me because I was already attractive. I'm sure this is the case with a lot of guys here, but I feel like we completely undermine how good we already are. It's as if we find RSD (or some other teacher) and forget that we've had an entire lifetime of social experience and are already naturally attractive.
I need to remember that on a deeper level. I'm sure there are retarded success-barriers involved in this. It's as if by discovering pickup and moving away from social conditioning, we think we have to start at level 1 all over again. In a great deal of cases, this is true. I believe in the metaphor of climbing the mountain, reaching the peak and then seeing the greater peak in the distance - which you have to go back down to begin the bigger climb.
Regardless, I need to pull it all together.
We go to Boylston and hit Pour House. Sit down and shoot shit for a second and get a beer. Meet Young, talk about a lair house and moving closer to the clubs. This seems like the shit and would love to invest into this idea more.
3 Girls come in and take the spot on my left. I open, the girl is RyRy's type and I switch seats to let him chat. I take her two friends and shoot shit, escalate, ect. It goes quite well, we move to a table. After a while I get bored, and move on to different and better things. RyRy isn't really into his girl either, and proceeds to fuck off. The girls get offended (read:butthurt) and take a taxi home.
Open a bachelorette party, 6-7 girls. Unfortunately the girl I actually find attractive is the one getting married. Boo fucking who. Low on talent here at the Pour House. Hook a girl named Andy which goes real well. Set lasts about a half hour, and is really fun. Shit tests, escalation, qualifying.
Getting a lot better at actually downwardly connecting with these girls on a real level. This will only get better with time, and I'm glad everything is coming along.
Her friend fucking hates me, but she's trying to go home with some gross chode, so, sucks to be her. Andy and her friend get into an argument over this chode taking her home, Andy takes her keys and storms off into the night. This causes a huge fucking scene and is overall, retarded.
Oh well, never to be seen again.
Literally dead now at Pour House. RyRy is in a set with a big chubby girl (his type), two dudes, and a chubby asian girl. They're from the Boston Subreddit, and we kill the night with them for one of the guys birthday. He gets her number (he's adorable how excited/nervous he was), and it seems to be going real well.
Night ends, we head out with them. No one wants the party to end, so we head to the asian girl's place to get her vodka.
As we are walking, 3 girls are moving down the street. I open and the first two kind blow me off, and the third strokes me on the bat. I hold her hand, tell her friends I'm stealing her. Just laughing with eachother, I bring her in close and makeout.
Her - "My goal was to makeout with a stranger tonight."
Me - "Hey, me too."
I let her go with her friends, but this makes up for the Andy bullshit and this band of misfits journey.
We then move to this guy Matt's place, and get trashed there to good music. Night ends with some socializing and nothing special.
For a civilian night, I'm glad RyRy got to meet the girl he wanted to and had the opportunity to move it forward. Not even that, he got to hang out with her all night, and got her number. He wants to go out more and more to work on this stuff which I couldn't be more supportive of.
From him, I learned I might want to actually check my OKCupid every once and a while. As Jeffy said, draw water from all sources. I'll look into it.
Kick some asses, I'm gonna go fuck one of my girlfriends.
Saturday was an off night in my book. Still fun as hell but I tried to relax and unwind that night.
Head to Boylston and go into Pour House. Run a few sets off the bat and got free shots from hot girls doing some promotion thing.
3 Set at the door to the basement, hold that for a while and have a grand ole time. Cue hops in an does his "awkward balloon", which is actually quite the shit.
Head downstairs and open a girl sitting down. Friend urges her on and take her to the dancefloor. You know she's not warmed up purely by where her RAS goes. Nevertheless, this doesn't hold for much longer than 3 minutes, but it was quite fun. Head deeper (derper) and swing around. Nothing that great down here. Hang wiht Cue for a minute and then head back up.
Few sets upstairs (bachelorette parties). Get a dickwhistle and play with a gigantic inflatable penis. Good fucking day. Even earned some beads by showing a group of women my nipple while I fake cried. Fucks yes indeed. Few sets outside and then head into Lir.
Meet up with some friends on the 2nd level. Shoot shit and unwind, see my wing from RSDN there with his wing (also RSDN). Few sets upstairs, shy azn girl that I can't get to stand up. We were monsters at their table. 3 girls and 3 guys, all RSDN.
Head downstairs and tackle an 8 set. Get compliance and good touch from the hottest girl in the group till her little minions pull me out.
Short - "YEAH ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN, BUDDY."
Yo get these bitches out muh face, brah.
Fun fun thought about fun, opened a few more. See a girl I went to highschool with, hug and shoot the shit. I look at her hotter friend and say
"You approve, right?"
Hand of God, pull her to me. Shoot shit for a while but she's not something I want to buy.
Head out with my RSDN wing, do some street shit. Steal a girl and run away with her. Nother group of girls hate us, kind of love us, and eventually fuck off.
We head to Storyville and beast it up. Need an alias for my RSDN wing. Will go with Dr. Evil, due to his "villain-eske" style of game. He is a beast in his own right, and hits up the girl at the door. We go down and split up, do a few sets that don't go anywhere but was fun.
New venue to explore on my own time, even if the girls weren't that stunning. New place, new adventures to be had. Guy tries to fight, jedi powers/very fucking assertive gets him to fuck off and his friend apologizing out his ass at me.
Move around for a bit, the Dr. and I eventually move out. Do a last approach @ the enteranceway and run a great interaction with two hotties. Mine is blonde and has a boyfriend, but the way she was behaving made this quite the positive reference experience. A mix between shy, mindblown, and doggie-dinner-bowl. Good place.
We head out to my closer bar, which incidentally sucked dick that night w/ no dancefloor. Dr. Evil takes off after making his rounds, but I stay. My friends show up and I shoot some shit with the people there. Few sets, one bitchy girl and her friend (who is my friend). This set didnt go that well, and I chalk it up to lack of me leading the conversation and plowing through her layers of bitchiness.
Nother set goes real well until she tells me she's a republican. I make an NRA joke and lol. After a while, our value systems are so differing that the chemistry is ruined and she fucks off. She pretends to be bitchy at me, but I have literally no emotional significance attached to blowouts. I say nice meeting you/ect, she keeps the bitchy front. Whatevz, to each his own.
Chemistry is chemistry and if there isn't any then there isn't any. I get why girls have to be bitchy - most dudes will either get defensive and mad at a blowout, or just relentlessly plow and get physical out of frustration. I figured the calm and patient route was best and moved on to another set.
Tall girl, hot and within my range. Start talking to her and its going nicez. Her little friend (whom I picked up 2 months ago but never called...) yells,
"You hooked up with Deena!".
Me - *confused look*
Her - "The rapper, **G**H*** "
Me - "Yep. Yes I did."
We shoot shit and vibe over this. I literally switch girls and talk to her. She tells me her name and I joke about already having her number. She gave me it while a guy hung on her shoulder and claimed to be her boyfriend. Funny as hell, and that chode is here with her and 10ft away.
Night trickles off alright, nothing really to pull or to be had.
Head to this girl Alex's with some friends, but I'm 15 behind them and they already smoked. By the time I get in, everyone is leaving. Alex asks me to come inside and she'll call her friend for more weed. This is an obvious ploy to bang, and I decline. She is Andross's girl, and there is no way in hell I'd do that.
Head back and text a few girls. Sara won't stop studying and Amanda is at work. Head to Cue's and sleep on the couch.
Sunday and Monday I literally blew off 3 "day2's" to sit inside and watch movies by myself. I needed some R&R, and time to just recenter myself. I'd been out every day since Tuesday, and my brain was a little fried and my cock hurt from fucking too much.
Physical and Mental Damage - Healed with the Power of Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Avengers, Captain America, and Thor.
Stark is my boy. Putting a lot more faith in myself and my ability, inspired by these movies. (Sad but true.)
Thor is now my vocal projection idol. Will see how this works out.
Had a pretty good weekend. Talked to you guys about my Thursday @ Antua which has been stalked and trampled by a 9 (Boston 10) who is trying to pin my cock down.
Basically all I can do at that place is wing for my buddies since she and her friends eye me like a fucking hawk.
Was good though, got to play "Have you met X?" with her roommate for an hour.
FRI - Royale
Cue and I hit the Royale at 10:30. We get let in the bottom enterance through the back and go up a Goodfellas-ekse elevator into the club. No cover, no search, nadda. It was pretty badass.
We get in and it's taking its time filling up. My buddy/wing from RSDN shows up a few mins later. I do a few sets, couple blowouts and build my momentum.
Dance with a few hot girls, azns and open up a girl with sunglasses on.
She's a ginger, which I find pretty hot. I joke with her about her glasses and call her attention seeking. She agrees and yells at me about her having epilepsy. I play with her a bit and joke about her shenanigans. Dance, makeout, and she keeps talking about Ayn Rand and Anthem. This is the 2nd pull I've had of girls who read Ayn Rand....weird.
She's into astrophysics which is cool, but I keep leading the conversation off super-logical topics.
(I figure she's unconsciously seeing whether or not I hold state even when she tries to get me thinking so logically. Sort of how guys will take eachother out of state. I will sometimes have guys do basic math, which is easy enough and takes them right out.)
Regardless, I toss her around and whatnot. She's in a white dress that turns me on real nice. I meet her friend and the guy she's with. His name is Frankie and we click real well.
See a few buddies from RSDN/Inner Circle, one of which tries to take my girl as I bring her to the bar (this is the 2nd or 3rd time he's tried to take my girls, unsuccessfully.)
Frankie is gonna go out for a smoke, and I join him. We talk about the pull and form AN ALLIANCE OF DESTINY.
He heads back in and I tell him I'm gonna make my rounds and get back.
See my RSDN buddies, one is with a dude who is afraid to approach/get blown out. I demonstrate how silly this is by backwards walking into a group, knocking some bitches around and trying to salvage the set. Doesn't go well, but the point was made. It doesn't fucking matter.
See a hot blonde girl with her hot friend and a chode, talk to her about letting her friend "do work". Pull her to the dancefloor, dance, and makeout. We shoot some shit, I lean on the stage while she grinds her ass on my cock. This is fun. She wants to go back to her friend, which I lead her back to.
Her friend is now gone from the spot she was at, and the girl freaks her shit. I stay calm and lead her around and find her friend. The girl is upset (friend is happy to see me), and I get blown out. Nbd, proud I stayed calm, lead, and hunted down a girl that I had only seen for a second. Chode with her tries to get physical with me, I scoff him off.
Dance with columbian girl, hit her in the face with a glowstick lightsaber thing I dubbed "My Penis". Good times.
Meet up with my RSDN wing, do some shit and get a few good blowouts. Is fun, ja?
Talk to Cue and tell him I want to go soon. I've been getting blown out pretty relentlessly and am being a bitch. He doesn't want to go, but says we will in about 30.
Gogo dancers are hot as hell, get some nice inspirado. I head back to the dancefloor and see my ginger/sunglasses girl dancing in the middle. She's with a chode, and I literally just walk up and start talking to her, and the guy gets eclipsed and runs off after calling her a bitch.
Light qualification and then move her off the dancefloor. Press her onto a wall and she does this real feminine surrender shit with her body that looks like it's out of a 1920's movie. Hot as fuck, makeout, grrrr.
She needs to piss, I get her # and tell her I'll meet up with her in 15. I go outside for a smoke and see Frankie and his girl. The girl he's with can't come back in the club and has to go, so my girl needs to go with her. Pull time, yay time.
Go back in and say goodbye to my Inner Circle buddies. Accidently blow out the girls they're with, but one comes back and I pump one of them up hard.
"He's got the brains and the looks, what are you gonna bring to the table?"
Hopefully that actually does something, but I know just me talking to them is not only huge social proof but a solidifies them as high value.
Regardless, girl comes out. I pull her out.
Her - "Are you coming with me?"
Me - "Yes."
Her - "Yay!"
Lol. Outside, we get a cab. I take them to my closer bar which is right by Frankie's and right by my girl's place. We go in and split the girls up. My girl buys 2 shots and I take her to the dancefloor. Mad bitches be jealous as shit and glaring her down.
One of the waitresses there (who knows my shit and how much I pull out dat bitch) goes,
Her - "Did you meet her tonight or did you bring her from somewhere else?"
Me - "Little bit of both."
Pull her back to the bar and meet up with Frankie and drunk-girl. Pull them all outside with drunk-girl yelling,
"We're all gonna go back to Frankie's!"
Me - "Sure." (No, we're not - but it'll shut you up a minute.)
Get outside and Frankie and I have this synchronized awesome moment.
Me - "Hey, I'm gonna walk her home."
Frankie - "Alright man, have fun."
Drunk-girl (to GingerGlasses) - "Are you good?"
GingerGlasses - "YEP BYE!"
And they fade into the night, never to be seen again.
We walk back and have a hilarious time as she puts on her bratty shtick and tests the shit out of me. This is child's play at this point.
Best part ever:
We are walking by a bush with some flowers, she sees them and stops moving.
"I WANT A FLOWER." (literally yelling)
Me - "Cool, pick one."
Her - "I WANT A FLOWER, RIGHT NOW."
I stop, look at her with a "What did you say bitch?" look, and glare her down. She is being bratty as fuck and childish.
I sigh, look at her, smile, and pick a flower.
Me - "There you go, lil brat" and tossle her hair.
We get back to her place, her still testing the shit out of me.
Her - "What are you expecting right now?"
Me - "Nothing, I wanna play checkers."
Get inside and she gets her roommate (and her fiance) to come out. We all smoke bongs while my girl is bratty. Befriend (in a centered fashion) the pplz and go get my phone out of her room. I hear this,
Her - "Should I?"
Roommate - "I would." (INFRONT OF FIANCE)
Girls are fucked. Finish smoking and pull her to bed. Absolutely phenominal sex, finally someone else who cares about what they're doing in bed.
Seriously, so fucking good that I want to see her again. I probably wouldn't based on her behavior, but she's got that sexual value fuhyah.
Wake up and smoke a bowl out of a cock-shaped bong. Shoot shit and then I peace.