Julien's Blog

Julien
 
What's up!

I just got back from another successful Free Tour / Hot Seat 2 / Bootcamp in Paris this time, where my game just reached a whole other level!

I wrote an article that I posted up on my Blog a while back, that's entitled:

Densifying Your Personality: How I Learned Game REVEALED


And what I had previously explained in this article is that the way that I tend to progress in terms of dating and success with women isn't linear, at all. 

There isn't any kind of linear progression where you just start learning one new thing after the other. 

Instead of trying to self-actualize your current identity by learning something new, you're trying to densify different aspects of your personality that you already have.

And when you're learning and progressing in this way, there usually tends to be one aspect of your personality that overrules the others at different times and that you really work on and take it to it's limits.

The last one being Self-Amusement, for me personally. 

And what I'm excited to finally be able to share with you today is that I've now reached what I think is the next level for me, which is going to be geared towards being more dominant and centered as a man.

Or as some people also call it, putting on your "Big Boy Pants" ;]

I spoke in depth about this with Derek when he was with me in Amsterdam a few weeks ago as well and I'm really looking forward to breaking all of this down and sharing it with you very, very soon...

Until then, here are the dates for some of my next events!

April 19 - 21, 2012: London, United Kingdom (taught with Ozzie)
April 26 - 28, 2012: Copenhagen, Denmark (taught with Ozzie)
May 3 - 5, 2012: Boston (taught with Tyler)
May 17 - 19, 2012: Austin (taught with Ty
ler)

www.rsdfreetour.com / www.rsdhotseat.com / www.rsdbootcamp.com

You can also check out all of the cities that I'll be traveling to after this in the "Where I'll be next..." section at the very bottom of this article.

<>==========================================<>

So, what I want to take the time and share with you today are a few recent thoughts that I’ve had about TAKING ON THE MAN'S ROLE IN THE INTERACTION AS OPPOSED TO TRYING TO TAKE ON THE WOMAN'S ROLE INSTEAD.

Taking on your role as a man by being centered in your own reality and taking all of the responsibility for the interaction as opposed to taking on the woman's role and basking in the good emotions that you're experiencing by being the one who's reacting to her.

A lot of people are just waiting to be put on by the woman that they’re interacting with.

They want the woman to take all of the responsibility for the interaction that they’re having and basically make it all happen for them.

They don't want to exert any more effort than they have to and they're afraid of having any kind of pressure put on them, at all.

Even when you're first starting to get into all of this, we all have hopes that once we learn how to start a conversation with a woman and build a little a bit of attraction that she's going to take it from there.

That there's going to be some point where we can then just relax and go back to our default identity that isn’t self-actualized nor attractive to woman in general. .

And I’m sure that you went through this as well at some point, as have I…

But what we don't realize is that by being in this kind of mindset, we're trying to take on the woman's role in the interaction instead of taking on our own role as a man.

CLICK ON THIS VIDEO RIGHT NOW AND START TAKING ON YOUR ROLE AS A MAN IN THE INTERACTIONS THAT YOU'RE HAVING:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrqiRub9xn4

A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE UNFOCUSED AND THEY ARE UNCLEAR IN WHAT THEY WANT.

Ask yourself, what exactly do you want out of the interactions that you're having?

A lot of people just want to experience good emotions from the women that they’re interacting with.

That's all that they want!

And this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but their criterion for experiencing those good emotions is usually skewed.

They’re basing their criterion for success on external stimulus. 

Are you basing your criterion for success on the reactions that you're getting or are you basing it on the actions that you're taking?

Are you looking at external stimulus to feel those good emotions or are you looking at internal fulfillment?

Your criterion should be based on your own actions and the fulfillment that you feel when you're doing what you want to be doing at that moment in time.

You should never be looking at the environment that's around you expecting to be fueled with those positive emotions. You should be the one who's generating those emotions from within.

This is one of the main differences between taking value and offering value. And this is something that will skew your results with women as well.

Women will never be attracted by a man who is trying to get her to fuel him with those good emotions.

You have to switch your criterion for success from being based on the reactions that you're getting to being based on the actions that you're taking.

I wrote an article about this a few weeks ago as well, that's entitled: 

FREEDOM FROM OUTCOME: How To Get Girls To React To You!


A lot of people also want to be the ones who are reacting to the women that they're interaction with.

Ask yourself, what does a woman want when a man approaches her and starts interacting with her?

She wants to know who he is as a person and what he’s about.

What is his reality like?

Is he someone who offers value to her is he someone who takes value from her?

She wants to get to know who he is by experiencing him as a person.

And the only way that you can accomplish this is by letting her be the one who's REACTING TO YOU!

She is not going to be getting to know you as a person if she is not reacting you to. You cannot be the one who's reacting to her!

You cannot try to take on the woman's role in the interaction.

If you’re the one who’s reacting to her by wanting her to fuel you with that external stimulus then she’s not going to be getting to know you as a person.

She's not going to be experiencing your reality.

Taking on your role as a man in the interaction means that you're going to have to start taking all of the responsibility for the interaction and becoming that source of grounding energy that she can ping off of and experience emotionally.

There is no other way for her to get to know you.

Get used to this new reality!

Women will never want to be with someone who isn't assuming his own reality as a man.

When you're asking a girl to be with you, you're basically asking her to bet her own life on you. 

Her survival and reproduction chances are being entirely placed on you and on how strong of a reality you have.

Will she be able to trust you and be at ease with you protecting her in any type of situation?

Will she be able to trust you with her life?

Would you bet your life on someone who isn’t asserting his own reality on the world?

Of course not!

You have to take on the man’s role in the interaction in order to get the kind of success that you want with women in general. You cannot try to take on the woman's role instead.


<>=======================================<>

WWW.JULIENLIFE.COM

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#1
Vergil

Vergil

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Join Date: 08/06/2011 | Posts: 53

 First!
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#2
Standza

Standza

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Join Date: 11/20/2011 | Posts: 30

second!
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#3
frenchkiss

frenchkiss

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/31/2010 | Posts: 175

 ah paris, im too sad i couldnt come!!!
how was the bootcamp in french? where did you go?
next time i'll be there i promise!!! 
david
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#4
TheRockPUA

TheRockPUA

Member

Join Date: 09/29/2011 | Posts: 70

Thanks Julien. This article was off the charts. Really brought the reality home and changed my mind-set!
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#5

Johnny_Bravo

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/20/2011 | Posts: 263

.
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#6

Fraggle46

Junior Member

Join Date: 09/21/2011 | Posts: 20

 Drawing state from within, classic. Meditation is good for this shit too. Well put Julien. 
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#7

Turok

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/08/2010 | Posts: 582

The analogies you and Tyler come up with sometimes make me burst out laughing in the middle of the video

"think of it this way...If a man has two glasses, and one is toxic and one is safe..."  Oh ok now I get it haha thx

Can't tell if you say this stuff because you really think it makes the concept clearer or you're just fucking around
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#8
Noronha

Noronha

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/27/2010 | Posts: 142

 Cant wait to see you here in BRAZIL!!!

love your articles! all of them 
peace
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#9
Gift~

Gift~

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/02/2010 | Posts: 160

But what if...

... and this is a serious question!

One's current reality is boring as shit? I know I'm a cool dude, I can make 'em laugh no problems... BUT... I want escape from my reality - it will be awesome one day but right now it's work and study and that is it. Yes study to make myself an awesome life better than anyone I know but until that happens, it is WELL boring!

What exactly am I presenting to them?!

Gft
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#10
Uncle Pancakes

Uncle Pancakes

Member

Join Date: 02/23/2012 | Posts: 78

I think we are witnessing Julien's rise to power...

It's almost scary...

*shudders*
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#11
Tyler

Tyler

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8794

Nice.  French accent and imitationn of uncertain-of-himself guy are hilarious.

The article corresponds a lot to sex.

Like why does a girl react well when you do something that you'd think wouldn't be fun for her, like pulling her hair or spanking?  Basically cause you're at the cause, not the effect.  You're acting, she's reacting, etc.

Tyler
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#12
synergist'12

synergist'12

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Join Date: 02/20/2012 | Posts: 725

Nice vid Julien, but far too short!
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#13
jabbaworks321

jabbaworks321

Member

Join Date: 12/03/2011 | Posts: 45

Great video. Y'know this is something that's actually really been bothering me lately. I notice myself feeling calm and collected when I'm kinda just doing my own thing...but as soon as that girl comes around I'm like, "Hey! What? Oh yeah? Is that because of this? Hahaha!" Reactive as FUCK. It's painful to think back on. It feels like whatever the girl just waltzed by me for, whatever stupid whim she was feeling like in that moment, she got it without any hesitation or qualification on my part. ugh.

Serious question. Is it ever too late to re-establish the icy non-reactive thing in an guy/girl relationship? To the point where something comes out of it? Or is this a needy question :)
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#14

CBAABC

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/20/2009 | Posts: 1692

Whooooa

Your speaking skills in this one compared to the Prague on is out of control. A loooot better.

Like those videoblogs more, looking into the camera makes it more personal.
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#15
Julien

Julien

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/05/2008 | Posts: 1046

Ah man, the Bootcamp was FUCKING AWESOME!

I somehow always have the best time ever when I'm in Paris...

I'll PM you some of the clubs that we went to if you're interested.

Until next time then!
frenchkiss wrote:
 ah paris, im too sad i couldnt come!!!
how was the bootcamp in french? where did you go?
next time i'll be there i promise!!! 
david
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#16
Julien

Julien

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/05/2008 | Posts: 1046

Hey,

This is actually the exact reason why one should ultimately switch his criterion for success from being based on external stimulus to being based on internal fulfillment instead, as I described in the article here above.

There is no reason for your reality to be boring at the moment, at all.

If it's boring to you it's probably because you're focusing on the wrong things (aka external stimulus) in order to feel good emotions and ultimately feel happiness.

Switch your criteria from being based on the reactions that you're getting to being based on the actions that you're taking. You should never have to have the need to look at anyone else to put you on in order for you to feel any kind of happiness. ;]
Gift~ wrote:
But what if...

... and this is a serious question!

One's current reality is boring as shit? I know I'm a cool dude, I can make 'em laugh no problems... BUT... I want escape from my reality - it will be awesome one day but right now it's work and study and that is it. Yes study to make myself an awesome life better than anyone I know but until that happens, it is WELL boring!

What exactly am I presenting to them?!

Gft
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#17
Julien

Julien

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/05/2008 | Posts: 1046

Thanks, man.

It will definitely be too late to reestablish that kind frame in certain situations as you're dealing with human beings in general, but thinking that it's never too late is also a beneficial blind spot that you should ultimately want to have as well.

So the answer is NO!

I'd also highly recommend that you check out this article that I worte a while back if you haven't already: 

Game Changer: Women Have The Attention Span Of An ANT
 
jabbaworks321 wrote:
Great video. Y'know this is something that's actually really been bothering me lately. I notice myself feeling calm and collected when I'm kinda just doing my own thing...but as soon as that girl comes around I'm like, "Hey! What? Oh yeah? Is that because of this? Hahaha!" Reactive as FUCK. It's painful to think back on. It feels like whatever the girl just waltzed by me for, whatever stupid whim she was feeling like in that moment, she got it without any hesitation or qualification on my part. ugh.

Serious question. Is it ever too late to re-establish the icy non-reactive thing in an guy/girl relationship? To the point where something comes out of it? Or is this a needy question :)
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#18
alyosha11

alyosha11

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Join Date: 08/17/2009 | Posts: 342

Thanks Julien, perfect timing!
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#19
~cavalheiro

~cavalheiro

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/29/2008 | Posts: 108

Damn Julien... you`re SOLID.


I`m really enjoying each and every video of yours (and the all the carreer that u`re making).
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#20
The Guy

The Guy

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/25/2011 | Posts: 229

i love this video, this principle clicked for me after the hot seat i took in munich a couple weeks ago. it is powerfull, and my aproaches and the feedback i've got since applying this have gotten way better.

but for me it is definitley something that has to be trained. i have to remind myself to do this before i go out.
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#21
sonic

sonic

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/20/2006 | Posts: 232

 I haven't posted here in 2 years to the day BUT I had to chime in:

Julien, you are amazing

Your understanding of the blueprint concepts are unparalleled by-anyone-here.  

I wish you all the best, sir.

Actually, I would also love to see/hear your take on "What it means to offer value" and "exposing the girl to a range of emotions" if it's not so much trouble.

Thanks

-S
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#22
CUIBACITY

CUIBACITY

Member

Join Date: 04/20/2011 | Posts: 80

I'll have to learn English just to prove that this shit can be linear.
A linear to authenticity.

And being authentic is easy to build attraction. I'll say more:
be authentic solves many things in your life.

WILKER MORAES DE OLVEIRA
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#23

AlexV

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/12/2011 | Posts: 1537

 short video with massive content, this alone can take months to truly get (if not longer?), AWESOME man! I'll be seeing you later this month at hotseat I think:)
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#24
Blom10

Blom10

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Join Date: 03/27/2010 | Posts: 292

 killer article, thanks man :)
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#25
Mountaineer-~

Mountaineer-~

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Join Date: 01/07/2011 | Posts: 360

 solid!
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#26
edin

edin

Member

Join Date: 05/06/2011 | Posts: 50

great article!

Im am realising Im still not letting my good emotions come from the actions I take.
It's like when I try to isolate/bounce or pull, and it doesnt work out, I get frustated, because Im still basing it on external factors.
thx Julien
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#27

Patrick.Bateman

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/03/2011 | Posts: 117

What you´re saying is exactly what I have to learn for my exam Sexuology.

quote:
``For women it is of the essence to identify men who are willing to have a longterm relationship and who will protect them. Women have to recognize men who are able to care for them and her children (food, shelter, clothing etc.) and who have good qualities to raise children. This is an example of a long term strategy.

In the contrary:
"Men have to identify accesible women, fertile women and enlarge their potential partners, without to much involvement and investment. This is an example of a short term strategy.

This is from Buss theories of Sexual strategies.

nice post!
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#28
Dr Feelgood

Dr Feelgood

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/06/2011 | Posts: 1518

Julien wrote:
And what I'm excited to finally be able to share with you today is that I've now reached what I think is the next level for me, which is going to be geared towards being more dominant and centered as a man.

Even more dominant!? What are you going to do, chop those girls into pieces and sell them as dog food...?
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#29

champ

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/19/2011 | Posts: 891

...
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#30

Ocean2

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/18/2011 | Posts: 698

 Thanks!! I remember how a lot of interactions where suddenly over, just because I stopped leading and didn't take the responsibility anymore of the interaction! I started pinging.
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#31

Waginator

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/10/2011 | Posts: 272

Great video Julien aaaaaas Usual.  Quick question...What the fuck is your avatar of?! everytime i see that thing im like what the fuck is that?  is it a face or a ..... i dunno its just a mystery lol
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#32

1985

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/10/2007 | Posts: 522

Awesome video man!  Thanks for posting this!
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#33
Hoops

Hoops

Member

Join Date: 05/10/2011 | Posts: 60

 Julien, thanks for linking in learning in a non-linear progression.  After your top inner game secrets video I started to question how I learned, thinking I was falling into the linear progression trap.  I feel certain I'm not now.  Thanks for the clarification!

~Hoops
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#34
Chulo

Chulo

Member

Join Date: 08/15/2007 | Posts: 44

 Strong shit, Julien. The vid is very short, but effective. 
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#35
Roccosifreddi59

Roccosifreddi59

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/02/2011 | Posts: 184

hi will be attending bootcamp next week in london with you julian looking forward to it must admit im fucking nervous

i`m still having trouble being centred fully on a moment by moment basis of late but past experience of being centred at its strongest, it was like being in a cocoon lol not being effected or giving a shit about what people thinking of you being inside your own body eg good emotions/feelings when your conversing with a girl and not instead focusing on them/the outside so to speak. so in effect its about amping and building these good emotions which i need to cultivate
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#36
Icy

Icy

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/29/2012 | Posts: 181

Great video Julien, I understand.
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#37

Heurisko

Member

Join Date: 10/05/2009 | Posts: 34

 Top notch video/article. You really cut to the heart of the matter.
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