Julien's Blog

Julien
 
Greetings from my hometown here in Morges, Switzerland...

As you can probably tell by the video that I just recorded here below, the weather here has not been very exceptional this past week since I've been here. 

That being said however, it's of course great to be able to take some time off in order to recuperate as well as to be able to start the process of working on a new FREE product that I'm thinking about releasing later on this year with the remodeling of my very own Blog!

I'll keep you posted with more news about this very, very soon... 

So stay tuned! ;]

That being said, here are the dates for my next events:

April 19 - 21, 2012: London, United Kingdom (taught with Ozzie)
April 26 - 28, 2012: Copenhagen, Denmark (taught with Ozzie)
May 3 - 5, 2012: Boston (taught with Tyler)
May 10 - 12, 2012: Los Angeles
May 17 - 19, 2012: Austin (taught with Tyler)

www.rsdfreetour.com / www.rsdhotseat.com / www.rsdbootcamp.com


You can also check out all of the cities that I'll be traveling to after this in the "Where I'll be next..." section at the very bottom of this article.

<>==========================================<>

Have you ever felt like you're the one contributing and doing all of the work in the interaction?

Have you ever felt like you have to constantly be entertaining her in order to keep in interaction going?

Have you ever felt like you have to put on some kind of puppet show in order to keep her attention?

I'm sure that you have, and so have I...

But all of that can change, RIGHT NOW!

Let me introduce you to the new concept of:

BEING THE BUYER IN
 THE DYNAMIC OF THE INTERACTION AS OPPOSED TO BEING THE SELLER INSTEAD.

This article also goes hand in hand with my previous article, that's entitled: 

Taking On Your Role As A Man As Opposed To Taking On The Woman’s Role!

And this is probably one of the most important distinctions that you have to make in order to start having success with the women that you're interacting with.

Be the buyer, not the seller. 

CLICK ON THIS VIDEO RIGHT NOW TO LEARN EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT BEING THE BUYER IN THE DYNAMIC OF THE INTERACTION AND ALL THAT IT ENTAILS:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJ79ypcEiJI

When you're stepping outside of your comfort zone by approaching and interacting with a woman that you're attracted to it's very easy to have the tendency to fall into the role of wanting to place her on some kind of pedestal and to start SELLING YOURSELF TO HER. 

To feel as though you aren't entitled to being with her in the first place, and to proactively try to demonstrate your value as a man in order for her to feel attracted to you. 

To feel as though you have to prove yourself as a man in order for her to feel attracted to you.

And when you're coming from this frame of mind it's completely outside of your reality for you to realize that just by that fact that you are a man and that she is a woman, that there's going to be natural attraction between the two of you. 

You should never have the need to try to FORCE IT.

You don't need to put on any kind of show or have to accentuate any aspect of your personality in order for her to feel attracted to you.

You are enough. (Cf. Alexander~)

Attraction is something that should naturally arise just by the fact that you are a man and that she is a woman.

There is nothing more to it!

And when you're able to realize that this is just something that's going to naturally happen, you're then going to start having the right positive assumptions about the interaction as well. 

A lot of guys have negative assumptions when approaching and interacting with women. 

It's like some kind of "race against time" for them.

They have the firm belief that women are going to try to reject them from the very start of the interaction and unless they're able to prove them and change their minds before they have the chance to do so, they will fail.

Their thought process is very similar to: "Let me quickly demonstrate my value as a man before she has the chance to reject me!" 

...which is one of the worst frames of mind that you could ever be coming from. 

How can you NOT be trying to sell yourself if you're constantly thinking like this?

How can you not be feeling that need to put on some kind of puppet show in order to entertain her mind and distract her from wanting to reject you?

You have to have the positive assumptions that come when you realize that you don't need to have anything more than being a man in order to have success with women. 

You already have everything that you need. 

Now, what are the women that you're interacting with experiencing when you're not coming from the buyer dynamic?

If you're approaching her and constantly trying to sell yourself to her in order to proactively demonstrate higher value, is the interaction going to be "Win / Win" or is it going to be "Win / Lose" ?

It's going to be "Win / Lose..."

What kind of value is she going to be getting from someone who is coming from that inferior frame of trying to sell himself to her?

Would YOU ever want to be with someone like that?

The answer is, no!

You want the interaction to be "Win / Win" for the both of you. 

You want her to feel proud to be with someone like you. 

You don't want to feel like you've won the lottery by being with someone who you believe as being out of your league. And this is the vibe that she'll be getting from you if you're coming from the seller dynamic. 

You want her to be benefiting from the interaction as well.

And more importantly, you want her to be investing in it.

You are never going to have success with women if they are not investing in the interactions that you're having with them. 

You want to switch the roles of the interaction and you want to start having her trying to sell herself to you instead! 

If you're the one trying to live up to her standards and doing all of the work in the interaction, she is not going to feel any pride in being with you, at all. 

You're never going to feel proud of something that you didn't have to work for.

She has to become part of the interaction and contribute to it as well. 

And as a side note, this does not mean asking her random questions and letting her talk by answer them. The investment that you're looking for is when she's the one asking questions about you.

You want her to start asking things like: "Who are you? Where did you come from?" 

This is what investment on her part should look like, and this is also something that a lot of people tend to confuse. 

And lastly, if you're someone who's running around trying to sell himself to every woman that you see, do you think that they are going to perceive you as having any kind of value, at all?

Do you think that they are going to view you as having any kind of personal standards?

Or do you think that they are going to view you as someone who's just running around ready to take whatever he can get?

Women want that "Alpha Male" who assumes who he is as a person and who they can feel proud to be with. 

They want someone who is the BUYER in the dynamic of the interaction.

They're not going to want to be with the "Beta Male" with whom their chances of survival and reproduction are drastically diminished. The only way that they're going to go for him is out of pity!

They want a man who has his own standards that go deeper than just physical appearance and that they have to live up to.

They want a man who lets them invest in the interaction as opposed to trying to constantly sell himself to them.

By being the buyer and not the seller, they win by getting that "Alpha Male" who adds value to their life and you win by getting the women that you've always wanted.

Be the buyer, not the seller.


<>=======================================<>

WWW.JULIENLIFE.COM

www.twitter.com/RSDJulien
www.facebook.com/RSDJulien
www.youtube.com/RSDJulien
www.youtube.com/JulienFreeTour
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#1
Realman

Realman

Alex Hot Seat Member | Member

Join Date: 04/09/2012 | Posts: 30

BOOM!
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#2
Patrick.Bateman

Patrick.Bateman

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Join Date: 12/03/2011 | Posts: 129

Dope
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#3
LethalLex

LethalLex

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Join Date: 11/20/2010 | Posts: 1083

Nice. I like how your articles take concepts I've heard about and lay them out in a way that really makes the ideas crystal clear.
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#4
epishred

epishred

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Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461

I wonder if the reverse is also true, that just being a woman turns men on...so i should totally be into the fatty just because she's a woman
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#5
Dr Feelgood

Dr Feelgood

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/06/2011 | Posts: 1474

This is exactly what my game needs right now, great!

Give us some practical examples how to get there though, some easily applicable training wheels! I can think of things like just staring at her expectingly, or saying "Ask me something! You aren't boring, are you?"
 
Anything else?
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#6
babylonAD

babylonAD

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/10/2012 | Posts: 518

 Hey Julien

In the last video you said that the role of a MAN is to take initiative in the interaction, which is basically to be the one leading. This video/ article talks about having the girl be the seller which would imply her taking the initiative in the interaction, right? Please clarify this for me man
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#7

mi1ooo98

Member

Join Date: 01/27/2012 | Posts: 31

 Mad
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#8
epishred

epishred

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461

yah man, tyler laid this one us in HOTSEAT 1, i didn't get it then, still don't get it now.  how does this work during nonverbals? in other words, how does this work without your interaction turning into a boring ass interview session?  this topic always gives me a dam headache
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#9

f1`

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 18

 Julien: "a classic example is that you talk and talk and dont let the girl talk back"
But dosnt it conflicting with the idea of "plowing"?
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#10
originalrudeboy

originalrudeboy

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/15/2012 | Posts: 208

This is confusing, but I don't think he means something as simple as just walk up and introduce yourself and expect the woman to immediately get arroused and start asking you a whole bunch of questions simply because you have an inner belief that you're a cool, sexy dude that's worth her time. Although that may happen sometimes ;)  I think he means walk up and give value, but simultaneously expect the woman to give you something in return, and if she doesn't  then you should wake up and realize she's an idiot who actually doesn't meet your standards, or doesn't have chemistry with you. You're presenting your social value to her by walking up confident and being an interesting, charismatic guy, but you're also taking a look at her and seeing what she is worth socially. Is she fun, entertaining, happy, interesting, witty or anything other than physically attractive? You have to show people that you have standards for who you will accept into your life.
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#11
krisit

krisit

Member

Join Date: 01/12/2011 | Posts: 63

Great article.Can you please explain how to get her to invest more.
The only way that i think of and that puts me in the buyer frame is to qualify the girl.Something like
Are you dirty ? I like girls that are dirty, and not some closed nerds that are afraid of a dick. :D
Are you adventureous, spontaneous ? I really dont like boring  girls..
I think that these two should make the girl to try to prove herself being worthy to me.
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#12
zippykremlin

zippykremlin

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/22/2011 | Posts: 529

Thanks. Makes things very clear. This is just what I needed to hear ansd coincides with some things that happened to me last night.
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#13
Frank128

Frank128

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/30/2011 | Posts: 125

Julien you are getting more confident talking to the camara on your videos man, I'm feeling it, great content thanks man !
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#14
Neo1

Neo1

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/17/2010 | Posts: 109

 you and tylers articles really hit me on a deep level everytime, jeffy should wright more too, miss that shit .... 
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#15

CBAABC

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/20/2009 | Posts: 1818

Awesome

Glad that you wrote down the important distinction. I used to think that you make girls invest by asking questions, boy oh boy I was wrooong.

I realised this:" pauses not questions"
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#16

TofuCan

Junior Member

Join Date: 07/06/2010 | Posts: 11

At 1:19 through to 2:22
"Secondly she doesn't have the chance to invest back.........."

How do I balance "Plowing" versus "Giving her a chance to invest"?

Is it a case of being unreactive to shit tests but still having a feeling for the emotional tennor of the interaction as Jeffy puts it?

Cheers-TC
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#17
MakeItHappen

MakeItHappen

Respected Member

Join Date: 12/25/2011 | Posts: 436

originalrudeboy wrote:
...Is she fun, entertaining, happy, interesting, witty or anything other than physically attractive? You have to show people that you have standards for who you will accept into your life.
I guess the "problem" here is that for most guys the social stuff is completely irrelevant as long as the girl is physically attractive. But I also found that I don't need any Pickup at all to be attractive to girls, all I need to do is to be there aka showing up in front of the girl. Hard to believe, even though the more I can accept this fact the more my results go up.
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#18
Julien

Julien

Instructor | Respected Member

Join Date: 04/05/2008 | Posts: 587

Thanks man!

The best practical examples that I could actually ever give you are the ones that you recently saw at the Hot Seat 2 event. ;]

On top of that however, it's important to realize that being the buyer in the dynamic of the interaction isn't necessarily something that should have to be verbalized. It's something that should just be ASSUMED.

It's the general frame of mind that you should be coming from when interacting with women in general and that then will affect all of your thoughts, words and actions in a way that is attractive to women in general.

There are two ways of asking "Where are you from?" for example...

You could be coming from the seller dynamic in which case it would be coming off as something that is lower value and unattractive her. Or, you could be coming from the buyer dynamic in which case it would be coming off as something that is higher value and attractive to her.
Dr Feelgood wrote:
This is exactly what my game needs right now, great!

Give us some practical examples how to get there though, some easily applicable training wheels! I can think of things like just staring at her expectingly, or saying "Ask me something! You aren't boring, are you?"
 
Anything else?

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#19
Julien

Julien

Instructor | Respected Member

Join Date: 04/05/2008 | Posts: 587

Yes, as a man you should always be the one who's leading the interaction as well as taking all of the responsibility for it.

If you're letting her take all of the initiative in the interaction as you described here below, then she's the one who's going to be leading the interaction instead.

She should ultimately be taking initiative in order to be part of the interaction, not in order to be the one who's leading it.

You're on your own path as a man and that she should be the one who's trying to sell herself to you in order to join you on that path.
babylonAD wrote:
 Hey Julien

In the last video you said that the role of a MAN is to take initiative in the interaction, which is basically to be the one leading. This video/ article talks about having the girl be the seller which would imply her taking the initiative in the interaction, right? Please clarify this for me man
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#20
Anton Pieck

Anton Pieck

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/10/2011 | Posts: 19

Don't accept the first answer women give you. Question their answers - demand more. Only when they've earned your praise should you give them your approval :)  Credits to James Marshall !!
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#21
Julien

Julien

Instructor | Respected Member

Join Date: 04/05/2008 | Posts: 587

SELF AMUSEMENT. ;]
epishred wrote:
yah man, tyler laid this one us in HOTSEAT 1, i didn't get it then, still don't get it now.  how does this work during nonverbals? in other words, how does this work without your interaction turning into a boring ass interview session?  this topic always gives me a dam headache
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#22
Anton Pieck

Anton Pieck

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/10/2011 | Posts: 19

Like a dog :)   :P
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#23
Julien

Julien

Instructor | Respected Member

Join Date: 04/05/2008 | Posts: 587

The main difference between the two is that when you're talking and talking in order to proactively demonstrate your own value as a man, you're coming from a frame of lower value to the women that you're interacting with.

You're doing it in order to sell yourself to them.

When you're "plowing" however, you're ultimately just doing it for yourself and not for the women that you're interacting with.

You're not doing it in order to sell yourself to them.

It really all depends on the frame of mind that all of your thoughts, words and actions are coming from.
f1` wrote:
 Julien: "a classic example is that you talk and talk and dont let the girl talk back"
But dosnt it conflicting with the idea of "plowing"?
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#24
ozymandias

ozymandias

Member

Join Date: 11/27/2009 | Posts: 33

I try to integrate this concept in probably even more basic concepts:

You just need to have a 'normal' conversation with a girl you find attractive.
You have the intent to sleep with her. You are not outcome-dependent because
you are the price. The only thing you should be thinking would be something like
that: 'Oh girl you're so lucky  - I'm the best lover on the planet' (Self-Amusement/
Self-Entitlement).
Of course you are starting the interaction more active but it will shift. Then you may allow yourself
to think: Done Deal - Congratulations Gurrl!
If it won't shift (It will, it will, it will) apply (naturally) more physicality. If the girl doesn't shift after
10 minutes, she's probably stifled by your awesomeness - so relax her by bonding physically.
If she keeps playing hard to get - go to the even hotter girl 10 steps away - you're in the zone 
right now( Don't need to waste 30 minutes for a boring princess: Her fault, her loss).

Don't try to focus on one concept guys as Julien said earlier this month or last.
You're always in reach. Be alpha and amuse yourself everything else will fall in place.
If you focus one who's the buyer/seller right now you're in your head - you will get better
at this concept, this part of the game but this will be your only success (still pretty nice)
this night if you focus too hard. 

Anybody finding a misspelling or mistake can keep it - not a native speaker.
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#25
Dr Feelgood

Dr Feelgood

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/06/2011 | Posts: 1474

Julien wrote:
Thanks man!

The best practical examples that I could actually ever give you are the ones that you recently saw at the Hot Seat 2 event. ;]

On top of that however, it's important to realize that being the buyer in the dynamic of the interaction isn't necessarily something that should have to be verbalized. It's something that should just be ASSUMED.

It's the general frame of mind that you should be coming from when interacting with women in general and that then will affect all of your thoughts, words and actions in a way that is attractive to women in general.

There are two ways of asking "Where are you from?" for example...

You could be coming from the seller dynamic in which case it would be coming off as something that is lower value and unattractive her. Or, you could be coming from the buyer dynamic in which case it would be coming off as something that is higher value and attractive to her.


Dr Feelgood wrote:
This is exactly what my game needs right now, great!

Give us some practical examples how to get there though, some easily applicable training wheels! I can think of things like just staring at her expectingly, or saying "Ask me something! You aren't boring, are you?"
 
Anything else?

He he, I see that you remember my screen name...!

Hotseat 2 - of course, it's really epic and such a wealth of valuable information! It's great for checking out the vibe/ frame the interaction should have, and that is something that can't be conveyed by written word.

I love RSD a lot and I'm convinced it is by far the best company teaching PU out there, but IMO the missing piece in a lot of RSD material is how to make it applicable for newbies and (early) intermediates. Telling a newer guy "You are enough!" or "Just take on another frame!" is not going to change him overnight; if we could change things like that with the flip of a switch we would all be superstars... People who are less experienced in this need a step in between to help them out, this is why I asked for "training wheels"!

It's ok, I have some ideas now (always greedy on input though, ha ha)!

Thanks for everything, Jules, and take care on your world tour! :)
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#26
MrCreepGuy

MrCreepGuy

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/29/2011 | Posts: 174

booyayayaya i just came. no i didn't but dayyyaaam i love those short but right on point vids! lights ouunn.
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#27

drugstorecowboy

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/28/2011 | Posts: 434

awesome this is strangely exactly in time with what i needed

so in practical terms, this means, talk about stuff you find interesting/cool, to "hook" the sets, but also, ask something you would find cool if she had

so e.g 

talk about how much you love travelling and all awesome times you've had
then instead of just carrying on, ask her wheres shes travelled/ if she loves it too? 

cool post cheers dude
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#28
thecrochunter

thecrochunter

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/12/2011 | Posts: 499

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Really solid stuff once again Julien.             

Do you know who is taking/speaking at Hotseat in Seattle in July?

Cheers                                                                                                        
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#29
synergist'12

synergist'12

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/20/2012 | Posts: 725

Good stuff. Julien is kicking ass with these videos and articles.
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#30
Leo-~

Leo-~

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/19/2008 | Posts: 290

Are these really cowbell sounds in the background?!! Only in switzerland, only.
Good to be home.
Fuck switzerland.
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#31

venusianspitfire

Member

Join Date: 02/17/2011 | Posts: 28

 Its all about frame control....I've found that the hard part isn't pushing your frame on her but maintaining the "fuck ya im the coolest" frame within yourself throughout while simultaneously ignoring/reframing/viewing external reactionspositively/or just ignoring and focusing on your own awesomeness and interacting with ppl through this frame..
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#32

venusianspitfire

Member

Join Date: 02/17/2011 | Posts: 28

for me I take it beyond "im a man so every woman must be attracted" as that doesn't make logical sense.... ofcourse nothing really makes logical sense..its just how you view it... still... I like the "im the most awesome/coolest/ most high value guy ...just because I am... " just because Im able to reframe shit to myself..my view is what matters...and apart from this my life experience is the coolest...etc etc.... 

the hard part is to keeeep this at the fucking forefront every instant...that's all that game comes down to for me... thoughts?
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#33
epishred

epishred

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461

Julien wrote:
SELF AMUSEMENT. ;]
epishred wrote:
yah man, tyler laid this one us in HOTSEAT 1, i didn't get it then, still don't get it now.  how does this work during nonverbals? in other words, how does this work without your interaction turning into a boring ass interview session?  this topic always gives me a dam headache
i'm prolly just asking the same thing that everyone else is...but how do you resolve intent with the buyer mentality...if you see a hot chich and you're like dam i wanna fuck her, aren't you already sold? but if you go up to the girl thinking "sell yourself to me" your intent is shit is it not?
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#34
Mountaineer-~

Mountaineer-~

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/07/2011 | Posts: 360

 yeah, great article. good reinforcement since its a sticking point i have to constantly work on!
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#35
Mountaineer-~

Mountaineer-~

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/07/2011 | Posts: 360

haha, yeah i think so. they were distracting me for a while...
Leo-~ wrote:
Are these really cowbell sounds in the background?!! Only in switzerland, only.
Good to be home.
Fuck switzerland.
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#36

champ

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/19/2011 | Posts: 891

...
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#37

Knoxville

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 719

Not letting the girl talk is actually one of my habits. I go through this every few months and just realized today why day game has been such a slump for me through out the week...I simply wasn't letting her talk! Crazy how after I realize what I am doing wrong my confidence and desire to keep doing it just goes up like crazy. I just feel way better. 
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#38
Rocco Siffredi

Rocco Siffredi

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/10/2011 | Posts: 406

it's like a competition between Tyler and Julien who's gonna post the ultimate shit!
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#39

JoeStriker

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/17/2011 | Posts: 134

Julian, you say you should come from a buyers frame, and be like the man in bestbuy inquiring about a TV. Asking questions to see if it lives up to your standards.

Then you liken "Being the Buyer" to "offering value" at the end of the video. But Isn't asking questions and having her answer them taking value, not offering?

I think what you meant was to
1. Offer value by contributing to the conversation - Talking about what you want to talk about
AND
2. Ask questions about her to see if she lives up to your standards.. Coming from the Buyer frame.

and when she starts asking questions about you, shes investing.
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#40

DonJuanDeMarco

Junior Member

Join Date: 01/09/2011 | Posts: 18

Really good article!

But there is one thing that I don´t get about this topic, the physical escalation part.

It has been advocated for a long time in the community that you should be physical very early in the interactions you have with a woman, and also be physical to create attraction. How does this relate to coming from the buyer frame?

Should the physical game be viewed differently now? Should you wait for her to invest in the interaction and wait until you have seen that she is living up to your standars before you physically escalate? I know that this will take care of itself if you´re in state, but what about those nights when you don´t have much momentum?

Because if you´re running around the club and trying to physically escalate every interaction without a deeper connection and if you don´t have momentum it will easily be seen as you´re  trying to hard.
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#41
Patrick.Bateman

Patrick.Bateman

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/03/2011 | Posts: 129

Buyers Mentality is awesome I just tried it out and had a Blast :D
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#42
GoldenGun

GoldenGun

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/13/2009 | Posts: 256

awesome.
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#43

dirtysexybandit

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/03/2011 | Posts: 380

back to the basics lol thanks!
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#44

TheMiz

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/25/2012 | Posts: 1

Good game! I'm adding your site to my blogroll at: www.flipthegame.net
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#45
Trunks

Trunks

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/19/2011 | Posts: 123

 I laughed so hard @ 2:50 when he said "What are the characteristics of this television?" lolll
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#46

anonymous12353

Member

Join Date: 04/20/2012 | Posts: 87

 Great article.

Essentially, give them your own congruence tests. 
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