So I read some posts about the fastest way to get laid is not giving a fuck and being a douche. I also watched Jeffy Show 2 and heard about Evil Stiffler 'Scumming Hard' and having unheard of lays.
Natrualy my brain goes: SEX = GOOD MUST EMULATE SCUMBAG BEHAVIOR.
But I did it in a totaly wrong way. A totaly incongruent, faggy, try-hard chode way. It actualy makes me sick to my stomach. Its nearly as bad as reverting back to full chode.
I do actualy want to fuck a diffrent girl every night, and Ive been working hard to try an attain that. Being a master at this was my goal from the start. But I dont really wanna be a 'true scumbag' if it involves beating women and shooting heroin. But hot fucking damn is it fun to play with. Its almost ironic and cartoonish actualy, which is a ton of fun and I think if calibrated correctly girls will pick up on that. Im not rolling up to girls and just being a douche. I do my normal aproach, introduce myself etc etc. But everyonce and a while now throwing in a little ironic scumbag. EH GURL.
My reasoning behind this scumbag thing is this: I see kids I would label "Backwards hat chodes" or wiggers or scumbags or douchebags whatever, and they get more pussay than me I just figured I could be all jeet kune do and take the things that I think are good and use em.
Maybe this isnt such a good idea tho... if it becomes a persona I can hide behind. I think it will be cool though if I keep my core self the same and just mix in a little scum outer game. Rocco and Utopia I respect you guys as members of this community. If you are speaking from experience and if you think it would save me time and energy to stop or get rid of this attitude, you need only say "this probably will not work out for you".
Day one of scumbaggary has been fun tho.
Actualy in hindsight, this totaly isn't me. I was doing fine before. Major progress, major successes. I don't need a personality re-vamp. I don't need to act like a douche or pretend to be a douche. I can be civil and 'normal' and not try-hard and still pickup. I can project from the core instead of "what would scumbag do?" and still pickup. I still obviously need a lot of work and Im serious about getting this section of my life handled. Scumbag J0akes starts and ends on day one.
Still kinda ticks me off tho that these guys pull more than I do. I guess its just insentive to work harder.
Things Im going to try to work on:
1. Congruency. Aligning my thoughts words and actions.
2. Not being an egotistical jerk. Not talking and acting like im some huge player (in an unjustified way).
3. "Normalizing" my energy levels and conversational topics. ie. No more uncalibrated conversations about erections.
4. Being outcome independant. (My state crashes hard if I go out to meet girls and it doesn't go well)
5. Being a genuinly cool and fun guy who also happens to be attractive.
Ill do a little googling, a little meditating and a little in field work. In the mean time if you guys have tips on how I can quickly get some of these things on lock please let me know.
*** EDIT: After a little thought I came to the conclusion that as long as I dont use "scumbag j0akes" as a persona to hide behind (ego protection etc etc), and just sorta play with it instead of being an actual scumbag. Things will be just fine.
Ill spare you the rest of the conversation. But basicly me and this girl have been just friends for like a year. In one conversation we are now friends with benifits.
HAHAHA THIS: As im uploading the picture, this is the capsha. Reminded me of Jeffy
Just an awesome realization I had a while back on supplication. This realization tied together so many things about success with women in my mind. I wrote it out and gave it to the guys im trying my hardest to introduce to the wonderfull world of pickup. Here it is:
"So if you haven't heard the term before, supplication basically means putting the girl on a pedestal, or ' lowering yourself' because that's what you think she wants. Girls are not attracted to supplication, in fact it repels most of them.
To avoid supplicating and to build attraction further, we pass shit tests like heroes. We neg girls down, we show them how many fucks we give (Hint, its very slightly above no fucks). And we're the champions of the night.
But my bro brought up an interesting point the other night. He asked if we have just become well adjusted women-pleasers. Have we just learnt what exactly to say and what to do to make a girl like us? Let me lay an example down for you:
A Girl asks if you are going to buy her a drink; the Classic shit test/ congruence test. (Testing to see if your words, actions and thoughts line up). The right response is to not buy her a drink, correct? Correct! But if you are just not buying her a drink to show her that you're not going to be tooled around is almost as bad as buying her one. Because guess what: shes leading you. That's right, I said it.
Its like when a 4 year old says "IM JUST GUNNA DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU TELL ME TO" (presumably to assert some sort of dominance) And you just tell him to do the opposite of what you want him to do, to get him to do what you actually want. Now I'm not saying girls are picking up on this and purposefully throwing some sort of messed up, backwards shit tests to manipulate us...But I'm saying your actions and words and thoughts should line up, and come from your core. You should be doing what you feel like doing. You are not buying her a drink because you don't want to spend your hard earned cash on a girl you just met. Not because you want her to like you. The 4 year old is not doing what he wants to be doing, he is doing things based off of you. You see the difference?
Another way to look at it: If her actions or words are dictating yours, it means, no matter how funny you are, how psychical you are, no matter how little a fuck you give. She is leading.
Another way to look at it: If her state changes yours, you are being reactive and she is leading. EVEN IF HER STATE IS 'better' than yours. Or she is initiating all the physicality of the interaction. SHE IS STILL LEADING. MEN LEAD. YOU LEAD. That stuff happens on YOUR TERMS. Got it? " - J0akes
DISCLAIMER: This was a really weird time in my life. I have since corrected
This will stay up as it is ONLY for me to look back on and lol.
For reasons I don't fully understand, I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 months.
Background: Her name is Kaylen, and you can read about her in some of my other blog entries. We met in the summer where I kissed her on our first date, and then for like three months after that we hung out and fooled around. She eventualy decided that she was done with me 'leading her on' , and started to see another guy. He turned out to be a huge pussy. "I already have a vagina, I don't need another one" - Kaylen
They broke up. But we didn't really hang out for some time after that. During this time I had some amazing game experiences and revelations. We begun seeing eachother again In January where we started dating officialy. We took a break for like two days (I initiated it, I forget my actual reason now, but I told her it was becuase I wasn't ready for a commited relationship. Hooked up with another girl during those two days) Everything was awesome. Shes amazing, Im amazing. We're amazing together.
I initialy was going to break up with her becuase I just wanted to be single again. I wanted to practice pickup and have those amazing game experiences again. This thought sat in my head for a good two weeks before I decided to do anything about it. I eventualy got up the nerve to break it off. I had advice from my friends, they said "just get her to break up with you." Or "Stay in the relationship and fuck other girls". Now Im a bit of a dick, but only really to people I don't care about. I felt I owe'd her an explination, and I was going to take responsiblity for the break up. Manned the fuck up and broke it off. I told her Im moving this summer and 'Im going through some shit right now". She took it suprisingly well. On one hand shes the kind of girl that wont let me know when she's hurting. On the other I wonder if she just didn't care.
The following days sucked balls. I came to a few realizations:
1. The Grass is always greener on the other side.
2. If I stayed in the relationship for much longer, I would have for sure fallen in love.
So now Im not with her for an entirely diffrent reason. And if any of you read this far can you please tell me if this makes any sense to you, or if this is sounds like a cry for attention or something... I dont know. Please comment and just tell me what you think.
Now im not with her becuase of a totaly diffrent set of reasons. I realised how much I actualy do like her. Moving to hamilton, and not being able to see her would tear me apart inside. It fucking stings even now. I don't know if she feels the same way about me as I do her, I think she probably likes me a lot less, so that would sting even more. And if she did love me back or whatever, then me moving would just cause more hurt on both sides. So I think this is a good thing. It fucking sucks hard core, Im trying to go out as much as I can and meet other people. The thought of her being with someone else hurts like a bitch. Its so weird, becuase im totaly hipocritical. I don't feel bad gaming other chicks. Its like I want her to want me and only me, and at the same time I want to go and bang other girls.
This entery isn't really filled with much value, I just needed to write it out.
I can comfortably describe my game in one word now: "Blitzkrieg"
Me and my bro Pat go to Whitby for a new years party he heard about. The Volley ball teams from some of the schools in whitby were the ones hosting it. So fit girls and guys left and right. But I couldn't let it intimidate me.
After popping my first set on the left, I mission to the dance floor. What I saw was almost appaling to me. The dance floor AKA the kitchen. (gotta love house parties.) was lined with dudes on the outer rim just texting. Clasic wall flower mode. I, having never been to a club, have never seen this phenomenon. Not only that, but there were atleast 12 hot girls grinding hard in the middle. I gave a look to one of the dudes txting. Lemme show you how its done. I immediatly start introducing myself to the group.
"HI MY NAMES JOSH *extend hand* YOU GUYS LOOKED COOL AND I JUST HAD TO COME MEET YOU". boom open.
Me: "On a scale of 1 - Rick James how drunk are you?"
*very short pause*
Me: "Brittany spears?! Yeah?!"
*Turn to my left, some chode pushes a girl into me and says "MAKE OOOOUT" (This would normally blow someone out)
I wrap my arms around her like a bear.
I talk in her ear "HEY IM JOSH, WHATS YOUR NAME?" (all the while she is protesting) she says her name
I wrap my arms around her head. MAKE OUT TIMMMEE
Me: "Its comming! Its comming!" she laughs
*Pull her closer, brush her cheek with mine BOOM MAKEOUT
I leave the dance floor after macking some dudes target, good game man XD. Walk to a room that's a little quieter. By now Im fucking ontop of the world, I love when I close. Im in state so I take a shot. Pop open a three set, introduce myself, pull in Mr Pat Harris. Pat luckly (and unknowingly) distracts the phatty and non target. My target starts walking away and gets like three steps, I step back and put my arm around her "claw" style (for those familiar with "the claw")
HEY Where do you think you're going?! YOU CANT LEAVE WITHOUT TALKING TO ME :D That's rude. Im Josh.
we exchange names , I neg her on having a shitty handshake, and then show her how to do it properly
Pull her in close (part of showing her how to handshake). Get some resistance, so I leave.I take a walk to the door where I spot this cute brown girl. Yep, this ones for me.
Me: HEY Im Josh, You looked cool so I had to come meet you.
Her: Im ____ (forgot the name)
Me: HEEEEYYYY :D , *Hug her and stay locked,
In her ear: "Are you single?"
*Wrap arms around her head, THE MAKEOUT LOOOOOOOOOOCKKKK!
I stay and chat for a while. Leave but grab her number.
MORE ONTOP OF THE WORLD, TAKE ANOTHER SHOT.
Mr. Pat agreed to drive two girls to thier houses. Phatty freind jumps in shotgun.
I jump in the back with HB8 Blonde. I take middle seat.
As we're moving stuff out of the way she picks up a towel and says "Whats this?"
Me: ITS A BLANKET!
She takes it and puts it on her lap.
Me: HEY, share :D *I take some of it and put it across my leg, then I lean my leg into hers and rub it back and forth a little and engage laser eyes.
She meets my eyes and smiles. Its on.
I lean in and ask if she's ticklish
Her: noooooo :D *giggle*
Me: Really? * Precedes to tickle her feet and sides.
I get close to her face and give her a peck on the cheek (heavy attraction going)
Her: I dont even know yoooouuuu!
While centimeters away from her face I say "Im Josh, I like blue"
BOOM HEAVY MAKEOUT. I pull her hair. She reaches for my pants and starts rubbing, but her phatty freind informs us that "we're here -_-".
Feel like superman. TAKE ANOTHER SHOT.
I later find out that girl had a boyfriend that was at the party.
Unfortunately when we got back we had to start clearing out because some idiot got thrown into a wall and put a massive whole in it. Me and second close spend the remainder of the party chatting dancing rubbin and kissing.
Me and Pat dip to his lady freinds house. Pat after seeing me work goes: "yeah my friend is off limits."
So I just cuddled at night with the other girl that came with us.
I only wish we came to the party earlier and that I would have pulled close #2 down stairs for some increased fun.
It was my first party with multiple new girls so I got to try out some really cool new things. The biggest things for me were:
1. No canned lines. All me baby.
I'm especially proud of this one because it was really my first time EVER opening sets without canned openers, and It was a huge step. I will never use a canned opener again.
2. Being in the moment, not giving a fuck, and conveying intent all by being genuinely horny (calibrated ofc)
I was rocking a full-on to semi hard boner all the while I was in set. Nice mental image for you all ;D I've actually been working on this for a while. Its maybe not something to go tell all your guys friends, but it works.
3. Not being an idiot and refraining from getting drunk as fuck or baked.
This has actually been a huge problem for me in the past. Being intoxicated kills game like everything kills whales. ESPECIALLY if you get drunk while your not in state, or get drunk and not talk to girls. It can be a night ruin-er. Jeffys rule is only drink after you have yourself instate. I did take a couple of shots, but only after being in state and nothing I couldn't handle. Pat kept trying to get me to drink more but I had to turn him down.
The Day after we went for breakfast and pool.
The Day after that I ran some day game on this cute chick in a tim hortans, closed her.
Pulled a girl to my house on the 14th of January. We're dating now.
For the first time in 2 years im in a committed relationship. 2012 is awesome.
^ Sums it up
Its 5am here in southern ontario. I cant sleep partially becuase its christmas in a few short hours, and partially becuase ive discoverd the magic of wifi and can now take my laptop to bed. This will be the third night in a row Iv'e slept less than 6 hours, and not just because of the wifi. I met a girl, internet, I met a girl. Isn't that how all good story's begin? Thats how my favorite story's start.
I found this picture on an old hard drive:
She was my first girlfreind, Morgan. I remeber saving this picture because it was my favorite picture of her.
Her glasses and her hair cover most of her face, and her body is out of the shot. Which is why it's my favorite. Relationship time: 1 month Months into 'success with women': -4
Pimp level while in relatioship: 0 (Scared to talk to girls. Basement dwelling internet troll. Thinks dry sex is the bomb) This is the face of the girl who tore my life apart, and is the main reason why im here today. This is the face of the girl who caused months of pain n my life. She's the reason I found game, shes the reason I said I would never let a girl do that to me again.
Aprox 4 months after she dumped me I discovered game on the internet, and sucked my best freind Josh into the wonderfull world of pickup.
This is a picture he sent me in the summer. I forget most of the details but he kiss closed all three girls by the end of the night.
About a year after I found game, I met this kid named Pat. One of the more popular kids at school (or at least more popular than me). At this point in my life I was machine like. Insert opener here, insert neg, my life exists for the soul pourpose of survival and replication clank clank clank. After I met Pat my brain told me I 'could use the social proof'. Basicly I wanted to befreind him to become popular.
So I did.
We became tight freinds, and in three weeks time I was his best freind.
This picture basicly summed up our relationship at the time. He showed me weed, and why highschool drama exists. I swear this kid is the origin of all drama everywhere. The drama he creates here butterfly effects its way to the rest of the globe, annoying thousands uppon thousands of innocent people and creating reality tv. He is on the right, and im on the left. Most peoples theroy on why girls like him is because he has a similar haircut as Justin Beiber.
Pat is never without a girlfreind, yet he is the worst at relationships. He wont play the feild and instead prefers to find a girl and go out with her as quickly as possible. Which apparently works pretty well for him.
Pat showed me to new people and new parties and new girls. One of which was Kayla.
Relationship time: No comitted relationship
Months into 'success with women': ~8
Pimp level while in relatioship: 2 (Still using many canned lines, uses kino gambits , doesn't show intent, still gets minor success in the form of attraction but not actual closes)
I met Kayla through Pat in a freinds garage one night maybe two months after meeting Pat, and was crazily attracted.
We talked all night and that was it. And yet I obessed about the girl.
We saw eachother around, and I would try my stuff. Do you belive in ESP?
I was CRAZY about this girl, how can she be so hot and also so fun to talk to. This has to be a sign.
Shes the one, it was ment to be. Fate sent me this woman.
I dunno how but I managed to pull her onto my lap at a party one night. I guess I was on fire that night. Both of us were sober, and we made out for a good portion of the night.
BOOM! Thought I. My dream girl likes me! Ok, this is really too good to be true. MUST NOT LOOSE GIRL.
And my brain switched from fun and sexual mode to 'i liek u' chode mode.
I eventualy fucked it up. We fooled around a few more times over the course of the year (and a few times this year), but nothing steady.
Girl on the far left was the girl I came to prom with.
Girl on far right was the girl I left prom with.
Relationship time: No comitted relationship.
Months into 'success with women': 1 year.
Pimp level while in relatioship: 3 (Still has pretty hard AA but powers through it, able to get attraction rolling well, inconsitant number closes)
Me and far right spent the night together. Up at her male freinds cottage.
With 8 other dudes that all were obviously into her.
After prom came summer.
And summer was pretty dull.
But Kaylen wasn't
Relationship time: Non commited two months.
Months into 'success with women': 1 year 1 month.
Pimp level while in relatioship: 4 (AA stil present but not an issue, Kino off the bat, inconsitant kiss closing)
Added her at random on facebook, met up with her the next day. Brought her home the next night.
Although we were'nt in a commited relationship, we 'hung out' for about two months. Untill she decided she liked another guy, and told me she couldn't see me anymore. (Although I suspect it was becuase I conveyed to much intrest)
Two weeks later her relationship ended and she began talking to me again.
I didn't talk to her becuase I was butthurt and wanted to prove some sort of point.
And also becuase I was seeing the girl on the far right.
Relationship time: No comitted relationship
Months into 'success with women': 1 year 3 months
Pimp level while in relatioship: 4 She left her boyfreind for me (Above Right), but it didn't work out between us. I did that thing where I decide I 'like' the girl and stop being cool and fun.
About a week after that was CJ
Relationship time: Non comitted
Months into 'success with women': 1 year 3 months
Pimp level while in relatioship: 4
You can read about the chodleyness here: http://www.rsdnation.com/node/207584
It basicly failed becuase of the 'I like you DUUUUUUUR' thing im prone to do.
So im comming up on two years being in success with women, and I really havn't had much success.
Hoping for better in 2012.
****Edit: 2012 IS FUCKING AWESOME. No time to write up the reports, work in the morning.
But can I just say , HOLY SCHNIKES. These few weeks after new years, have been MIND BLOWING.
At least for me.
(and thats all that matters :D )
New Years report: http://www.rsdnation.com/j0akes/blog/new-years-field-report
So the past few months have been an adventure... Actualy adventure is probably the wrong word. "Shitty roller coaster" fits a little better. September was pretty awesome, Grade 13, 18 years old. I can buy stuff from the local headshop AWE YEAH. Feel like I run the school. Met a girl on facbook, I litteraly went to the "People you may know" page and started clicking random people. Started a convo with this random girl, then we decide to meet up two days later. Make out, bring her home, fool around. She's kind of a crazy rave girl, but shes cute and fun to talk too. On top of that I had a girl an hour away sexting me nearly daily, and a third girl I would see at school.
One day after having fooled around while 'watching a movie' with Rave girl, I asked her if we were dating. Just to see what her take on 'us' was. she said she didnt know, and that we could 'Label us as dating' for less confusion. I said lets say 'We're seeing eachother'. (some how I thought that would mean Im not in a commited relationship and could continue to wheel the other two girls.) And it was all down hill from there.
Month later Rave girl said she really liked this other guy, and that she was extreemly sorry. I told her it was cool and that I understood that you cant choose who you are attracted to (even though it stung like a bitch) . Day later shes dating this chode and then a week later they broke up. Lol. I took the ' I like another guy ' as a pretty strong sign that she wasnt that attracted to me, so we're done.
Me and Rave girl still talk but mostly just fluff.
On to the next girl then right? :D Right. So im gaming this chick, Shorter, Tan, shes a dancer and aparently flexiable as hell. So hot. And I can feel that shes into me. OH BUT WAIT. She has a boyfreind. Game on.
Two weeks later she broke up with her Boyfreind. Im like HOME FREE. I dunno what I did but two weeks later we had a chat where she told me straight up she wasn't attracted enough to date me. Ouuucccchhh. She ends up dating another dude for about 3 weeks.
Aiightt, whatever, Im mother fuckin JOAKES, girls is what I do.
On to the next girl.
Meet this cute chick CJ Last month. Im into her and I find out shes into me. We tell eachother we're 'in like' with eachother. Txt her and it starts getting heated. Everything is going good. We txt every night, and I find out she has some crazy emotional issues to deal with. 'im crying' Me: "why?" Her: 'People take pains to avoid me' blah blah. Phone runs out of minutes, didnt txt her for two days. Log onto facebook to find shes in a relationship with a dude who is significantly bigger than I am, so I think Ill leave that alone.
So now Im without girl. I havn't been studying up on game or really even going out lately. I wanna ask the question " What the hell am I doing wrong?! How come these girls are ditching like that?" Becuase honestly last year I was pimp (or as pimp as I have ever been).Closing nearly every night I went out. LOL check this: I didn't take a date to the prom. My mom freaked out. "YOU HAVE TO HAVE A DATE, LOL WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Im like mom chill. It'l be good. Ended up having two girls on my lap by the end of the night, and then went up to the hotter ones freinds cottage for the weekend with her. 8 dudes 2 girls ew, but I had my girl and the dudes were all chill so it was fine.
What changed? Whats diffrent about me thats killing my game... Ill figure it out eventualy. I know it gets better.
So I guess ill start at the beginning. April 2010.
16 year old me, 135 pounds after eating, winter boots, not a flake of snow outside. Pants two sizes too big, t shirt tighter than it probably should be. I was hosting a LAN Party, my first LAN party.
It was in an old hockey arena, plenty of space and power for computers. I had maybe 8 people coming, including my cousin who would run the snack bar in case any of us gamers got snackish. She had asked if she could bring a friend so that it wasn’t just her sitting behind a counter all night. She ended up bringing her friend Morgan.
Skip forward a few hours, no one was buying anything from the snack bar because we were too into the game.
So my cousin and Morgan come over too me, they sit down and they start watching. So I asked if they were bored, and if one of them wanted to play. Standard girl reply’s "I don’t play", "I’m terrible", "Don’t laugh". My cousin was up first, she did terrible. I did not comment. Morgan played, and she was terrible. I did not comment. I did however, show her how to play, but I made sure not to make fun of her at all. And then I accidentally negged her.
She had her fingers positioned at WASD, but only one of her fingers would touch the keys at one time, like she was afraid she would break something if she hit two keys at once.
"You know you can rest your fingers on the keys, they don’t bite"
The WHOLE room erupted with laughter. I didn’t even know anyone was listening, everyone had headphones on. And really, it wasn’t even that funny.
End of the night, everyone is saying goodbye and telling me how much fun they had. Grabbing their gear and getting in there cars. My cousin stayed behind with Morgan, my dad my brother and I to help clean up.
My cousin went to get in her car, and my brother and father were already in the truck.
I guess logistically it couldn’t have been better. I step behind my dads truck, and give Morgan a hug goodbye, and I asked "When am I going to get to see you again?", I forget what she actually said, because by now the only thing in my head was "Are we going to kiss?".
I think what happened next was only to cut the tension. Our faces were close enough so that without much effort, we could be touching lips.
And so I had my first kiss.
And my first girlfriend shortly after.
And then the first time I ever had my heart broken about a month after.
"I don’t have time for you" - Morgan
//Update: Shes taken a liking to chatting with me over facebook lately, so just for fun I decided to run some game. Two days ago she confessed her love for me. SHE broke up with ME and she loves me. HA. I love Game.
Nothing you guys haven’t heard before, my story is pretty standard.
The following month was probably the lowest I've ever been. Crying myself to sleep nearly every night, spending entire days up in my room, with short trips to the bathroom. Thoughts of suicide. My marks in school dropped.
It was a shitty month.
When I started to get over it, I started looking for answers.
"Why do girls like guys who are douche-bags?" (Negs, how do they work)
"I’m smart and funny and unique, how come girls only want to be friends?"
I eventually stumbled across David DeAngelos stuff on a Mens Health website. And I immediately acquired all the material I could.
In one of the videos, I watched a few pick up artists talk. Among them was mystery.
Skip forward one week.
New haircut, new clothes, new cologne. Me and a friend decide to go to the movies, and for some reason I decided tonight would be the night I would open a set.
So I walk in to the theater, smiling, like Mystery said.
First set: 6 people. 3 guys, 3 girls.
Opener: Mystery’s ESP.
Result: Got blown the fuck out. AMOGED TO SHIT. But I made a girl smile.
I don’t remember what movie we saw.
But I do remember that I committed to getting this shit under control.