Success in the field depends on 3 main focuses: Process Positivity Presence
Process and Positivity are very important and good to focus on. But we tend to forget the 3rd component, Presence, which really makes the game work and everything come together.
Your Process is the work you have to do. It is the narrow path through the seemingly rough lands ahead of you when you walk towards the club. It gets you out of your head and is your guideline to success. You gain momentum and it coxes out your extroverted personality.
Positivity puts your focus on fun, light-heartendness, optimism. All key charismatic traits that draw people in by the law of state-transference. It is also your vital tool to step into a upward spiral despite facing akward or hard sets in the beginning of your night.
The number one thing that makes a girl attracted to you and ready to go home with you is when she feels comfortable with you.
You need to be comfortable FIRST, for her to feel comfortable with you. Unless you stop thinking ahead and let it just happen through you, with a complete trust that you are enough, girls will hold back and not comply with your pull attempts. You will fuck it up somewhere down the road.
Presence is the key to bang through this sticking point.
Process and Positivity are fairly easy to live every night. You just need to work at it and gain momentum. Soon it will be your basic night. But even though you are extroverted and spread positivity, very commonly you still have a feeling inside of you, that wants to pull back, an anxiety and nervousness that blocks you from slipping into the moment and fully trust your faculties. Then you always carry around a mild paranoia that you might "loose your state".
Only when you step beyond that, it is when you rock full go.
How do you slip into that final zone of complete relaxation and trust - called presence
It is the harder part to understand and consistently get into.
Oftentimes it happens when a lot of positive feedback hammers down on you
and you step into presence "by accident". It is when you have fun and get great results, when your brain says: "OK, I have all the proof here that I am the Shit, I can let go now.", and you loose all feeling of anxiety and nervousness.
It is the difference between being the "raging bushfire" vs. the "searing hot coal"
By consistently meditating you can train to put your mind in a non-thinking present state. But it won't do it all for you. A club or social environment is hectic and stressful. You can not just start meditating here. To become present, you must take action and give your brain proof that nothing here is going to threaten you, but in fact that you are at home in this environment and you can be completely at ease.
A nice catchphrase for this: "The brain wants proof, not promises."
How do you make it most likely to get into that state every night you go out?
Despite of mixed feedback and hard conditions?
While going through your process of gaining momentum, you keep focusing on being present. Detach yourself from your thoughts and worries. In the field it is way harder to stay in a present headspace with all the social pressure around you. Like in meditation, you won't slip into full presence right away and you have to force your focus back onto it again and again once you realize that you've lost it.
Most importantly here again: reference experiences. The more you have experienced the right process all the way, and found yourself in the full present relaxed mode, the easier it is to stay on the process and trust that your mind will eventually slip into that state.
Being present in the field and in any interaction, is the key factor when your game supercharges.
I know that I am in the zone, when I am at a high level of momentum and in a extroverted super fun and positive state, PLUS being completely in the NOW, and there's no feeling of anxiety or nervousness anymore. There is 0 thinking ahead. It is pure enjoyment. These are the times when the club gets the most beautiful place to be on earth.
You suddenly can talk and relate to anybody and you are the source of good emotions. This feeling is the ultimate drug that hooked me to the game. Since I have experienced that feeling, all the common activities of what guys my age usually do, becomes soooo BORING.
Usually then, I am the ultimate Man. I am the coolest guy, period.
Unfortunately, the next day you wake up... and you start all over again. The fear is back, the momentum and your trust... gone .
As a man though, you have the power, through training, knowledge and focus, to put yourself in the right state when YOU WANT IT. Have you ever heard the phrase "Draw state from within."? :)Focus on the 3 P's.
PROCESS POSITIVITY PRESENCE
That is real great power.
- Of course presence is not a must have to pull. Girls will sometimes comply with pulls despite of you being in your head and nervous. Persistence alone can get you very far. But if you want to be consistent and get hotter girls, being present and relaxed in sets is essential.
- You fluctuate in and out of every state, even when you have reached full presence. But by the law of state preservation your brain wants to keep you in the current state. Bad emotions provide more bad emotions, good emotions provide good emotions.