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From google dictionary:
re·spon·sive  /riˈspänsiv/ Adjective
1. Reacting quickly and positively

Responsive not Leading

You can't go into a interaction with another person expecting to lead the the whole thing from begining to end.

It's an interaction, not just an action....it takes two.

Trying to lead or 'control' the interaction will put you in your head to question what is the right action to take next...and after that...and after that.

It will also make you outcome dependent, because you are leading towards a desired outcome.

Getting laid is one of many possible outcomes of playing the game, the game is approaching.

Approaching to lead towards one outcome means you are not responding to what is really happening in the interaction, you are just trying to force a specific outcome onto it. This will come across as incongruent with the interaction and the girl will sense this and feel uncomfortable and eject. 

Approaching to get laid is approaching for an outcome. Approaching to be social is approaching for an outcome. Approaching to have a conversation is approaching for an outcome...sometimes, in a club, the girl will just blank you....some girls will just do that, but it doesn't matter to you if your intention was nothing more than to approach and be responsive.

Approach just to approach. For the fun of approaching random people....not knowing what could happen next....if anything....all just for the random fun of it....the unpredictability....the adventure! 

Then, after approaching, just be responsive. Go with the flow of the interaction. Respond to what you want to do 'in the moment', and respond to what the girl does 'in the moment'.

Responding happens in the now....leading suggests thought, planning and controlling about what happens now and next to reach a desired outcome. 

Responsiveness is going with the flow of the interaction.

Let go, go with the flow. Be water as Bruce Lee says....

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