Ok, so I'm done with my exams. For now... I did okay. Not great. I'm going to invest more time on studying for my finals. After all, playing guitar is really not that bad, and when you're doing good on stage, it feels awesome, so I'm on that plan. I wanna kick ass at this!
Anyways, regarding "pickup" or whatever you wanna call it, I've been doing almost nothing. Hoping to get back at it next week probably. I've just been cool with people and that's all, but haven't been doing anything actively. Will get to it asap.
I've also been getting some mixed signals from a girl I know, but I think it's meant to be drama, so I better avoid it, and find myself someone new.
That's all for now.
Ok, so, I've been doing a lot of self analysis this days. I've been trying to figure out where all of this issues come from. They're really deep, so I don't want to share them here, but rest assured they're there. I already know how to solve them, I just need to know how I got there to be sure it never happens again.
And I've realized, social pressure has been the cause to many, if not all, of my internal issues. I feel comfortable in a situation where I'm expected to do something in particular, even when that behaviour can be negative. Doesn't matter. I just do it and feel good, wich is bad. I feel totally uncomfortable when I have 2 peer groups and one expects some behaviour, and the other group expects something different because of the side of me that they're used to see.
I've got one group of friends wich are not used to going out and approach, and other group wich IS used to see me doing that, and when the 2 are in the same place, I break down. I freeze, because I can't pinpoint what's expected of me.
The truth is that I shouldn't care about that, but I do. I'm just going to act as if not, and see what happens. Probably nothing, but you know... Is like my brain is telling me "Hey, you're fine, you don't need to change anything". Wich is totally untrue. I need to reassure myself. I want to be indifferent to social pressure.
Anyways, that's that. I'm going back to my studies and when I'm done, things are going to change, probably radically.
Ok , this next 2 weeks are going to be rough. I have all my midterms in the following days, last one is October 24th. Shitty. Mostly 'cuz one of those midterms is on my birthday, which is the 15th.
If I don't drag my ass around and keep a good rhythm, I'll be ok.
If I just go around like a wimp and don't get to my books and my guitar, I wont be able to go out.
So, for now, until all this clears up, weekley updates suit me better.
I opened a cuople more sets trying to be natural and I picked up on something immediately: Even without canned material, IF you're doing things right, girls will still reward you with kino if you're lifting their vibe. This seemed pretty obvious to me when I ran routines. I was like "Ok, here's the DHV spike coming, ok, now I get the laugh, awesome, now she's going to touch me playfully... check!" Kinda boring after a while. But hey, was getting me laid, so... Whatever works I thought.
But this is so much better.
To know that I can say anything and still get the same response, just by beign me, and not giving a fuck... I don't do it for the response, I'm just focusing on having fun and hoping that will get everyone to have fun too... but it sure makes me feel good.
Ok, so, I did all my objectives for yesterday again, and beign friday, I went out of course.
Now, we went out to some party of some friend of a friend... No clue WTF it was. It was in a club, so I thought, fuck it, I'll try to run some game without canned material.
So, how did it go? Pretty bad. The thing is, I have specifically forbidden myself of using any sort of canned stuff. I must have opened (or tried to open I should say) at least 15 sets... And everytime I caught myself doing something that I shouldn't be doing (i.e. Neg, FTC, all those little tactics that I want to get rid of). And at that point, my state would drop a little, I would feel like "I fucked up" when the girls were actually talking to me and the interaction was going well. And somehow, they would close up. They could feel it too, I'm pretty sure. That chody vibe...
And that was for the sets that opened. Some of em (3 or 4) did not even open. Now, mind you, my opener was "Hi, I'm E-nigma" (I said my real name of course, but, just for now, I wont be disclosing it, sorry guys, had bad experiences in the past for posting too much info on the internet)... I just need some more confidence in the fact that it is an opener that can work. Just keep doing until it becomes consistent.
One of the sets went really well, I could get a 10 minute conversation going, very natural, until I thought the vibe was kind of dropping and did some cold reading or something like that and the thought came back again in me "You're fucking up"...
So, you know, the usual when you have those bad nights. Went back home, walking and feeling like a complete chode, inmmersed in anger and listening to Pantera... And thinking "I gotta get this shit handled ASAP".
Doesn't matter. Today I feel good for going out and trying it and all the rejection and all that, I hace a solution for it. Just keep the state up, don't think about canned material, etc. I will keep it up, until it clicks. This is an area of my life that NEEDS to be solved, permanently. And getting a girlfriend is not the way to solve it. It's some much more than that for me. The way to solve it is to get the skills needed to get any woman I like. Period.
Anyways, gotta do my daily routine, workout, studying, something intelectual, something fun, etc. Will catch up tomorrow with you guys. Hope everyone had a cool night.
Ok, so day 4 is over and I'm giving the update before the usual time (2am). And this is because I have found that excercise is very useful to regulate your sleep. I'm very messy in that sense and I'm finding that my workout is making me sleep in a much more adequate time. It's great.
Also, this update is early because I'm tired as fuck. I did all sorts of shit today, and got to all the daily goals, but it's gettin tough. This is, of course, because I'm not used to beign PRODUCTIVE all day, but I find this feeling to be cool, I like it. I'm tired, but I'm tired because I did shit. I seized the day. It feels great.
I just think I'm going to need to separate some time for just kicking back every day, it's getting pretty obvious. Maybe 1 hour, or an hour and a half for just slacking, watching a movie, or whatever.
Anyway, I'm off to bed for a much deserved rest, and another update tomorrow.
Ok, so day 3 has passed. Today, I accomplished all the goals again, although I got a bit lazy on the study, but I did most of the time I had assigned to it.
Today is a rest day from excercise, I'm just in pain for the past few days. I did my ussual shift at wort, did some studying, then I watched a movie (Drag me to hell... Pretty fucking scary if you ask me... Or maybe I'm easy to scare, whatever...), then a friend came by, we went for a walk, talked a little bit, got back, took a shower, cleaned my room and now I'm about to go to sleep, I've got a long day tomorrow.
I'm really feeling full circle today. Doesn't mean it's going to stay that way, but I'm enjoying the feeling of beign in control of my life.
This friday I have plans for my friends, and a chick I FBClosed (FacebookClosed?) sent me a message so will see how that goes. I actually told her and all of her friends that I would add them, but she's the only one that gave me her full name, so will see how I manage to get the other 3 facebook names, because one of her friends was the one that I was looking to get, but my poor control over logistics of the situation kept me from getting her Facebook username. Will have to note that for the future, and see if I can get that girl to add me. And if not, that's cool too...
Anyways, off to bed. Hope everyone had a productive day.
Ok, back again for an update.
Things are going great. I had a really productive day.
First off, I started with my work. I worked my ussual shift, wich is four hours. It's a part time job that just keeps me with money for my personal expenses.
I've decided that I'm going to divide my day into four sections of four hours each. So that leaves me 4 hours for my job, 4 hours for my health (working out, eating properly, hygiene, etc), 4 hours for studying and 4 hours for social/love life, and then the 7 or 8 hours I ussually spend sleeping.
After working, I worked out (today was legs and back), I ate really healthy, and and right now I feel good because of it, although I'm a bit drained, some of my muscles feel a little stiff. But I'm happy, so that's ok. I just need to get used to this again, It's been almost a year since I last picked up a weight.
After that, I picked up the guitar (I study music, that's my major in college) and did some technique, some practicing for the upcoming midterms, some sight-singing, and little bit of theory.
And then, I just went thru some of the material that I have from RSD. I don't have any of their products yet, just the free stuff. I'm obviously looking into Foundations, I'm planning on getting it, cuz I'm really interested in just handling the basics for now. Maybe later I can go into some other, more advanced stuff, but for now, I don't want to be overwhelmed by the amount of info, I just want the basics, first 4 or 5 concepts, go out, apply it, see what went wrong, and go from there.
Anyways, really productive day today. I hope I can keep this discipline up. It's clear to me that I'm going to slip at some point, but the important things is to keep coming back to it.
Ok, so, this is bye for now. Hope everyone had a good day. Tomorrow, another update.
'Till then, be good
Alright, so first, a little introduction: I'm 22 years old, from Buenos Aires, Argentina. I've been doing this with what you would call "Outer game" for the past few months, but I really don't feel any changes internally. Truth is, if a girl comes up to me, I usually just say yes if she's attractive enough. And that's bad. I don't want to comform. I want more... And I think the problem is internal.
The good thing is, I've realized this and I'm willing to change it. I know who I am, I know what's positive about me, I understand what I want from life... I just need to bridge the gap.
Since I'm currently in college, I don't get to go out that much. 3 times a week at most. Mind you, this is not college as it is in the US. I'm at home, and I attend to class, and then get back here, to study. I also have a job that I need to keep, and as a part of this challenge, I plan on starting a workout. Sleeping until noon does not seem like a healthy way to get in better shape, nor is going out 7 times a week.
So, the challenge consists of:
1- Going out on weekends, and the occassional day of the week, even to places I don't necessarely feel comfortable with, and meeting people with NO canned stuff.
2- Getting in better shape in the next 90 days (I'm 5' 10'', but I weigh at 120 lbs, I need to gain some muscle). I'm going to work out every day of the week, I've got a plan that includes days when you just stretch, days of lifting weights, etc, so it's balanced.
3- Perform the previous 2 objectives without loosing focus on my job, my education, my family and my friends. I've read a little bit and I've noticed a lot of guys get alienated, or abandon everything to get this handled. Although I respect that, I don't think that's something that I want to do. I'm sure it is possible to live a balanced life, and at the same time, have fun while learning this stuff. I'm sure it can be done.
So, from now on, daily reports on my progress, on my life overall, will be posted. This includes my education as well, because I feel the only thing I lack is discipline, and one of the main purposes of this challenge is to get that skill, so this will be a blog about my life, basically.
I'll be reporting back in 24 hs. Until then, be good.