From Client To Elite Level Instructor In Only 1 Year!
Using the principles he teaches, Brad Branson went from an amateur with massive approach anxiety to one of the elite instructors for the largest international dating and pickup company in only 1 year. He combines a unique brand of ’chilled out natural vibe with matchless social calibration and laser precise physicality’.
Brad Branson is an executive coach for Real Social Dynamics, the international leader in pickup and dating advice.
I have been writing DAILY articles on the site for a few months now. Whether it be me writing about exercises and new theories that I teach on bootcamp, or various travel tips, or just the latest lay report, there’s a crazy level of information on there.
I have about 500 unique visitors per day lately, and it’s growing quick.
Think about how much you could benefit from being fully immersed into the DAILY life of an RSD instructor.
I literally have gone out over 1000 days in the last three years, and between the pimping I’ve been doing, and the number of bootcamps I’ve taught, I have pickup concepts and theories oozing out of every orifice of my body.
So come along for the ride, and let’s live the life in tandem.
In Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins explains how there are three types of realities that create your belief structures.
1. Opinions
2. Beliefs
3. Convictions
Opinions are rather tenuous. This is due to the fact that you don’t have many reference experiences reinforcing them. If some experience or event makes you second-guess a given opinion, it can easily be changed.
A belief is much stronger and harder to change. You usually have many more reference experiences reinforcing a belief, and if you have strong emotions tied to an experience that holds up the belief, it becomes more resolute.
Convictions are even more powerful. These are the types of belief structures that cause someone to become a missionary, or a suicide bomber. The person holds a belief so strongly that it becomes a blanket reality where every action they take is filtered through this conviction.
Emotions and Beliefs
We are going to talk about beliefs here, and how emotions come into play.
Well, this is my interpretation, but emotions are visceral indicators that your body gives you when something in your environment tests a belief.
Let’s say you just broke up with your girlfriend. You feel pain. What is that pain associated with?
Many times, your identity is heavily tied into the relationship. You view yourself as a COUPLE, and you factor every action you take through the filter of how it relates to BOTH you and your relationship.
Also, it might be due to the possessiveness you feel towards the girl and how that gives your life meaning.
Whatever the cause, let’s try to figure out how we can overcome the strong emotional feelings you get after a break up, and how you can change sadness into MOTIVATION.
You need to first become conscious of the specific reasons for why there is an emotional pain, and realize what belief structures you have in place that create the emotional response.
Sometimes that ugly beast scarcity bubbles up and you feel that you won’t be able to find another girl like the one you lost, or maybe it’s just the emotional connection you had with her, and don’t think you’ll be able to find that with anyone else.
Well, that is most likely because you only have that one experience with her, and the emotions are always strong in a relationship, which intensifies the experience even more.
The more reference points you have, and the more emotions tied to the experience, the stronger the belief.
How many reference points do you have to the opposite? That there IS another girl out there that can give you those feelings?
Most likely none!
So how do we change this belief?
We must attribute more pain to you staying in that relationship, even if it is out of your control to stay in it anymore, than the pain you feel outside of the relationship.
Think of the scenarios that would happen if you were to stay in that relationship: the stifling you would have from not growing, not working on yourself.
Think about all the girls you met along your path to meeting that previous girl, and how that helped you grow into the man that was able to attract that girl.
Think about how much more you will be able to grow as you get back into putting your personality on the line every weekend. The introspection that goes along with pickup and self-actualization as a whole.
Try to meditate and create a visceral experience in your body as you start getting those successes again.
How great does it feel to pull a gorgeous girl at the end of the night?
Man, I’ve had some amazing experiences the last few weeks with girls, and I wish I could go back in time and tell my old self a year and a half ago, as I was getting out of a break up, that I would be having the crazy success I’ve been having lately.
Living the life I’m living, how none of it would have happened if I would have stayed with that girl.
I’m relishing in the moment, and reinforcing new beliefs now.
YOU have control over your beliefs and your emotions if you want to.
Start taking control and stop living life in reaction.
And as Tony says “Live with passion.” Haha…
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Tell me what you think. Head on over and post a comment at www.BradBranson.com
Cheers,
Brad
I’m over in Europe at the moment on another Euro tour, and a bit of nostalgia has kicked in.
Most of my first year as an RSD Executive Coach was spent in Europe, in particular Amsterdam, and I feel it’s fitting to be writing this article from one of my favorite cities.
The teaching process for me is very much a reflection of where the teacher is coming from.
What is his mindset towards both teaching and “the game”?
What thought processes, actions, and paradigms are the teacher coming from, and is he able to pass on those traits, actions, and ultimately MINDSETS to his clients/students?
I had a recent anniversary of sorts.
It’s been 3 years since I took my own RSD bootcamp as a client.
Sweet!
I remember back before taking the bootcamp, and the questions I had going in.
“Oh man, what the fuck, am I really to the point where I am going to spend $2000 to get this handled?”
“Are these people even REAL?”
“I’ve never spent $2000 on anything!”
“And there is no way in hell I am telling anyone about this!!!”
Haha, there was so much allure, so much intrigue in what the bootcamp was.
I feel like the RSD culture has changed, and we’ve tried to make the bootcamp as transparent as possible. Try and give you a better idea of what to expect going in to program.
And as always, it comes with the trusty ole “money back guarantee.”
To add to that transparency, I thought I’d post up a video that was recorded at one of my recent bootcamps.
It illustrates many aspects of the in-field portion of the weekend program.
Let’s dive a little deeper into my teaching process.
If you were to create a university degree out of my program, it would be a course in “How to be High Value.”
Why high value?
Why do you come to a bootcamp?
You want to become more attractive as a man. Build attraction: get the girl.
Let’s boil that down to its most fundamental basic.
Attraction = Value.
Back to the college degree metaphor.
If the major is Be High Value, then the minor would be “and How to Be Unapologetic About It!”
The “theory” portion that I teach covers various ways that we convey value naturally and how to TURN UP your own personality to create a shit ton of value right off the approach.
You see, of course a high value person does not try to impress the girl, but either way… You still have an initial first impression.
The context/frame you start off the conversation with carries through the ENTIRE interaction.
And obviously, you want to convey yourself as the cool, high value, attractive, dominant man you are. (and usually a little touchy-feely ;) )
Something VERY interesting that I’ve noticed as well is that the first five minutes DIRECTLY relate to the last five in the bedroom.
So it doesn’t matter where you are at in your development.
The better you open.
The better you close.
You see, there is this wonderful positive feedback loop that many of you might not know about.
What happens is, as you get better results, you get more confidence, which leads to even BETTER results.
That’s when things start getting GOOD. Abudance baby!
But what if YOU ARE NOT IN THAT FEEDBACK LOOP?!
Well, that’s what bootcamp is all about for me.
Jump starting you into that feedback loop and gaining as many positive reference points in a weekend.
We also deal with how to frame your reference experiences in an EMPOWERING way, as opposed to a DISEMPOWERING one.
What you don’t realize is that you also already have THOUSANDS of reference points in your past that can reinforce the high value mindset right now.
Then there is the whole “Being unapologetic aspect".
Something I have noticed is there is one big difference between my game now and 2 years ago.
Let’s say there is a girl that would have taken me 5-7 hours to get home. Now that same girl might take 30 minutes or an hour or so…
What has changed?
It’s that the girl knows within MINUTES what I am there for.
LOVE. :)
It’s obvious.
Right from the start.
My eye contact, tonality, mindset, state, vibe, aura, pheromones all illustrate my intent.
It just makes things so much easier.
Cut to the chase.
No manipulation.
Just pure unadulterated truth.
Efficiency in its purest form.
Or laziness. Hehe.
Alright enough theory. Other things that make the bootcamp so beneficial include:
-Personalized feedback
-Being pushed outside your comfort zone, no matter what your skill level
-Working on specific “outer game” type stuff like physicality, day2s, group dynamics, day game…
And many other things based on the client. I know you’ve heard it’s a maximum of 3-on-1 to keep it extra personalized, and that is the way I’d like to keep it.
Each bootcamp curriculum is unique and highly tailored to the guys I have on program, so it’s impossible to list everything that it might entail.
And it is constantly evolving and changing. By the time you read this, I’m sure there will already be new paradigms, mindsets, and exercises to get even QUICKER results.
So…
KABLAM!
Enjoy the vid, and hopefully someday I’ll see you out in DA CLUB!
Ohhh shit! That’s a good jam. Click on that shit seriously. I used to play in a band and rocked out on the keys Herbie style…
I want more views guys. Grab my RSS feed or get some of your friends to check this shit out. I’m on a mothafuckin role!
Let’s talk a bit about some qualification.
Svall Wrote:
Brad, what are your thoughts about "qualification" ?
I used to think it was necessary, but don't anymore. I even wrote in an article about how qualifying is good.
I think it is, especially when you are coming across pretty high value, you need the girl to realize that you like her.
But I've come to qualify in a different way lately, more authentic.
What I have guys do on program is make a list for what they value in a girl besides her looks. What are they looking for in someone they would date?
I'll give you some of my list:
Non-smoker
Positive
Bubbly
Intellectual
Bilingual
Binge-Drinker
Something extra-curricular like gymnastics/volleyball/running...
So those are a few.
Then when I am in conversation with a girl, this gives me an opportunity to both show that I have standards i.e. I don't put up with any bullshit.... but also to qualify her if she has something I like.
So if she is like "I'll be right back. I need to go smoke."
I'm gonna say something like "Eww, that's gross." What would the chode say? "Aww, that's cool, I don't smoke but I used to back in the day..."
It shows that I have standards. Doesn't mean I won't make out with the girl when she gets back. Doesn't mean I won't have sex with her at the end of the night, but I am still conveying that I have standards.
Another example:
Her: Blah blah blah, life sux.
ME: You're boring. And we are at a club! Let's have some fun!!!
The other is also true, what you asked about, qualification.
If the girl starts talking about skiing or how she studied in Paris and knows French I'm going to respond with "That's awesome!" because it is something I actually value in a girl.
Again, I'm not looking to marry her, but it still helps and is genuine.
And the post response…
Svall Wrote:
Cool great answer on the qualification question. Kinda interesting how you dont think its that necessary anymore, because alot of guys in the community do. I know a.fc a.dam talks about investment IS attraction, in other words qualification is attraction, what u think about that?
From an investment standpoint, it sounds like he's talking about the girl qualifying herself to you... Although I do think investment is important, it's not what attraction is.
Attraction = Value.
Straight up. It's inherent in the definition of Attraction.
I posted an article a while back on how to get the girl to invest, and it is a huge part of my game. But that is more to mitigate LMR than for building attraction.
Attraction is usually fully-developed and taken care of before you get into qualifying. Like in the first 5 minutes. Although I think getting a girl to invest and qualify herself HUGELY solidifies that attraction.
TheHitter! Wrote:
What are some good ways to "push" vs "pull" - there's a lot of techniques for "pull"ing i.e. escalate, SOI, qualify, whatever. I'm looking for some good ways to "push", old school stuff like negs and takeaways have never worked for me.
btw, these articles are awesome - thanks for doing this.
Push vs. Pull comes from the "having standards" technique that I mentioned earlier in this article. It's fucking sick and truly authentic. It was in response to Svall about qualification...
Steve-0! Wrote:
Brad- Can you breakdown how you fulfill a broad range of emotions in an interaction.. alexanders model. I am really good at pumping positive emotions into a girl ... but she already has all that stimulation at night.. How do you hit the full range of emotions. Thanks!
The negative comes from takeaways, like I'll go to take a piss, go help a student, go grab a beer...
Sometimes jealousy plotlines... Usually I don't actively create these, but they happen organically after you have a couple sets in a given venue.
And the one that comes up the most frequently again is having STANDARDS.
She says something I don't like... Call her out on it.
"Ew, you smoke!" "You're boring."
It's nothing forced. It's authentic. I'm a man with standards. I'm high value...
Also for how a girl talks to you... If she isn't paying attention I am gonna yell "Hey! You have bad eye contact!!"
When people talk to me, they pay attention. And I don't put up with bullshit.
Now let’s get personal!
Steve-0! Wrote:
How does your BC compare to says other instructors? I have taken one with ozzie and it seemed to focus on finding what I care about and what I like are sharing that with the world. Making me as uncomfortable as possible.
Nathan's seemed to focus on the introduction to game ... reference experiences, the more the merrier.
I would say my bootcamp is more like Nathan's than Ozzie's. Ozzie takes more of an authoritative frame, whereas Nathan's is more laidback and about personal accountablity... At least that is my take...
Mine is similar in that regard, but I am probably more of a nerd and try to break things down as deep as we can go. Get a really good understanding of how your mind works, and changing how you view experiences, and framing interactions in a way to reinforce very specific mindsets.
My mantra over and over again on bootcamp is "Be high value! Be high value!"
And that is conveyed through the exercises, content, field experience, feedback, gameplan, techniques, QnA.... Everything we do is to reinforce that high value headspace.
And since I have a delusional sense of high value, any questions or ideas that are asked... I let them marinate through my own delusional brain and give my take on it, so you can see how you should be looking at a specific situation/experience, and how you can develop that same mindset...
So you guys seemed to like the last inner game QnA so we will head there again.
Also, write in the comments section what category you would specifically like to talk about and I’ll take that into consideration on future articles.
Let’s get right to it.
Showtime~ Wrote:
Im 19, and dont have much money etc. What would you recommend as words of wisdom to a 19 years old being 27 now. (Im not in college yet) Like what would you say to yourself (Im not in a relationship anymore too =P)
Don't build your identity around your career, even if you love it.
I view money as a means to provide a certain lifestyle, and try to "work" as little as possible so I can live the lifestyle I want.
99% of the world idenitfies with their job: I'm a doctor, I'm an engineer, and the personality traits that go with it.
Me... I'm a traveler, a wanderer, an intellectual... Not a dating guru, not a pickup coach...
Also, don't have super set goals for career type stuff, most people change their major 2-3 times, and almost no one uses what they went to school for.
I view college as an opportunity to learn social skills, and to learn how to learn. So have fun and party and meet as many people as you can. And find something you love to study so it's easy to get good grades. And get good grades!
nattyfresh Wrote:
hey dude.
lately i been hang out with girls left and right. im a sexual guy all the time. i keep it moving but lately all the girls been giving me the same excuse as all i want is sex from them and if they give it up too easy ill dissapear asap. i enjoy the chase it fun but im also trying to get it in as well suggestion would be great! thanks in advance
This is usually a sign that there are some incongruencies in your sexual frame.
You want to be fully unapologetic about this. The player frame. Push it hard now, because it will take a while to internalize.
Some girl is like "All you want to do is fuck me!" Your response. "You know it!!!"
That will get you into that player/more unapologetic frame, where the girls will be less likely to place you in the provider frame.
That's your other problem. You are subtly conveying some sort of provider frame stuff in there because they are saying things like "If I give it up, you'll just disappear!"
That means they are seeing you as BF material, which is bad mmmkay... Not really bad, but if you are going for the quick hookup, and not 1950 style courting it's bad.
So make sure you aren't sending off those types of signals, which again comes back to the player frame.
Ooze sexuality, be fun, playful, physical, smile a lot, and trust that it will internalize over time.
You are getting close, it's just a few cracks in the armor that they see.
Also, make sure to get out and be gaming up other girls too, fuck a few randoms and the girls in your social circle will see you in a new light.
Also, just thought of this, make sure you are discrete, those friends of yours might be more worried that if you fuck them everyone will find out and then they will look like a slut.
So find ways to be more discrete, don't brag about other girls you are seeing or fucked to friends, don't be overtly sexual with a female friend in front of everyone else, and then when you are in private ESCALATE!!
Whorelord~ Wrote:
Brad, coming to this forum is distracting me a lot, how do I stop?
Something that I really took away from Brad Blanton's Radical Honesty book was this:
People think that we are separate parts. But we aren't. We are whole..
"Part of me really wants to stop leering on the forum! But I can't stop."
There is no parts, there is just you. And you are on this forum.
So you FAIL!
Be disciplined, use the forum as a reward for when you get studying/work done or whatever...
Get an intelectual understanding of why you come on the forum. Is it boredom? You feel like you are missing something? You are procrastinating?
Once you know the EXACT reason that brings you hear constantly, address it, and then see if you are actually gaining anything from being here...
Prioritize.
Time is everything. I value my time more than anything.
malaspina Wrote:
What's your take on discipline vs. immediate gratification?
It's funny when I here guys who are like "I'm so disciplined! I go out like 5 days a week!"
Like it takes discipline to go out and party 5 nights a week. :)
Haha, although I have a lot of sympathy for dudes hitting it hard and pushing thru rejection after rejection.
For me, if the question is based on development vs. getting the girl in front of you...
I'd go for the case-by-case basis. Have a desired goal, whether it be working on tonality or hooking, but if a set starts going really well, throw away the gameplan and push things forward with that girl and fucking CLOSE!
ANNNND…. Time for another personal one…
subx Wrote:
Brad.
Think back to when you were uncomfortable in field. What did you do to get past that? How did you view being nervous and coming off as a scared pussy when approaching girls?
I remember you saying you had to re-learn the process after you stopped drinking while in field. Did you get bad anxiety or anything? I think I might be cut from a different cloth because I'm extremely paralayzed with anxiety in field when I am not drinking. Or maybe it's because that I THINK that i am cut from a different cloth. Perhaps I see anxiety different than others. I hate it and i am scared of people knowing that I'm extremely nervous.
Nah, I was lazy.... I just took a bootcamp. That's what got me over the drinking thing.
As for nowadays, I feel like 2-3 warmup sets is equivalent to 2-3 beers.
You NEED to do your warmup sets. Everyone does. Go talk to a god damn fatty, or a bartender, or a married couple, or a dude... Doesn't matter, just get in that social flow so you can start building some momentum...
And realize it's just a warmup set, too many times guys build up so much anxiety because they are trying to do everything with that first girl like...
"Ok, I'm gonna open, her.. Then work on my vomiting, then qualify her, then get physical, then get sexual, then get her number then............."
Stop worrying about that shit, your only criteria for success is the open. Whether it goes good or bad doesn't matter... Just OPEN!
Then you start building momentum, and things smooth out naturally...
I found a few questions related to getting physical, and as this is a concept I really enjoy talking about, I figured it would be a good time to check it yo!
Oh, and thanks for all the questions and insights in the comments section, I’ll take any comments into consideration.
On to the QnA…
subx Wrote:
You mentioned escalating smoothly.
How do you escalate "smoothly".
And what is "unsmoothly" escalating?
It's basically calibration, which comes from experience. Doing something for a reason, not because you read on a pickup forum that it works.
You just have to get out there and push it, whether it be going for the number or getting physical, and then over time you will develop your own flow, and be able to pick up the rhythm of the interaction and know EXACTLY what to do when.
Like there are all of these rules, even my own like "hug the girl within a minute" which is good for a newbie, but there are plenty of times when I don't hug the girl within the first minute. But it's taken a long time to know when the right time to get physical is and when she will be most receptive. I've pushed it too quick, or waited too long, and even now a lot of times I still surprise myself by wondering if it's alright to kiss the girl or something... go for it... and get it...
In my head I'm like "Oh, wow, that went better than expected. Try to store that reference point for next time you go for the kiss close."
You build up those reference points, and that's what makes you a smooth motherfucker.
yorro Wrote:
Hi Brad
I'm very curious about this one thing. You said once that your conversation skills sucked and your game was almost completely physical game.
So tell us, how you were meeting women in a low-key daytime locations like malls / libraries / cafes / airports / bus stations / etc.
Going physical during the day in a low energy level place is not the best idea IME. It's just fucking weird meeting a girl in college during the break clawing her getting in her face etc..
So how did you do it?
Haha, I didn't.
Yep, read my daygame article on how to approach daygame...
It took much longer for me to get good at meeting girls during the day.
elemeno Wrote:
I have decided I am taking my bc with you, hopefully by the end of 2010. That will be one of my goals.
question;
So last night I went to this concert with a girl I am friends with and her super hot friend.
I had already hooked up with the super hot friend 4 yrs ago but havnt really seen her since, and I wanted to hook up with her again. It was definitely on from the very beginning as soon as I met up with them at the concert and I could tell she was really attracted to me.
I was told she wanted me to spend the night.
I tried to escalate things between us the whole time and went pretty well because we were touching eachother a lot throughout the night.
But it also felt like there was no rapport and no connection so the attraction seemed kinda weak. Towards the end of the concert the girls started getting kinda bored and the girl I am friends with wanted us to leave and go to a bar. I said okay and went with it, and as soon as we get to the bar two goofy orbiter dudes show up to meet up with the girls. They were of course engaging the super hottie the whole time (girl I was trying to hook up) and buying them drinks, but I could tell these guys didn't have any game so I just chilled back and talked to the girl I am friends with. When we left the bar the two girls invite me back to their place.
I kept trying to escalate things at her house by playing music and dancing with her but it felt it was just me giving her a lot of attention and her just jumping around doing her own thing not really paying any attention to me. It felt like the window of oppuitunity wasn't there. I never got to isolate her and I never really got more than 20 minutes of 1 on 1 conversation with her, and it was nothing beyond small talk. I feel like I could have pushed things farther(especially since I already hooked with her) but I am having trouble figuring out where I went wrong and trying to make sense of it all. If you have advice on this it would be greatly appreciated. I am going to partying with these girls tonight so hopefully it goes better. I am just gonna focus on having fun and escalating at the right moments, hopefully it goes better this time.
Looks like I hit you a little late on this one, but you gotta dominate!!!
If you already slept with her albeit a long time ago, the attraction will still be there, and hopefully the sex was good.
You gotta FULLY assume attraction, and then get really physical and playful with her. Have fun, smile a lot and REALLY get physical. I'm not talking little brushes against her leg, or holding her hand.
Have fun and pin her up against a wall, pull her hair. Get physical baby!!!
Do you guys notice a common theme in a lot of my responses?
ASSUME ATTRACTION. Over and over again, I reiterate this. It’s so key.
Why can you assume it? Because if you approach properly, and work on your internals, as long as you are just comfortable and be yourself, you convey SO MANY HIGH VALUE TRAITS!
And ATTRACTION = VALUE. So just relax and be cool guys.
Lastly, lets get personal…
6am.sedna Wrote:
Yo Brad, how do you deal with doubt about abilities to do something, not necessarily pickup related - but your future? school, career...feeling like you'll fail. etc
I tend to worry a lot, and it's been getting worse the past week.
That’s a pic of Mark Twain and he said it best…
“I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
Life is what happens while you are planning for the future.
Embrace the process. Embrace the moment. Embrace uncertainty.
Learn to stop worrying about all the bullshit and notice that there is a pattern to things. Quiet the mind and you'll know what to do.
More and more I see how everything kind of just happens for a reason, and I just go with the flow.
Again, you gotta stop fighting the current and just jump in the river and see where life takes you.
But then, once you find out where that is, work your damn ass off to get there or it or whatever it might be.
I've learned to stop planning long term. Look at my goals 5 years ago. Would I ever have imagined I'd be a DATING COACH?!
But here I am. Loving life. And hopefully helping you guys reach fulfillment as well.
Time for another round of question and answer guys.
This time, we will be discussing some specifics related to verbal game:
AmbitiousObsessive34 Wrote:
Brad, if i dont have the fun instinct, or its just plainly sucks. What can i do while out (can i do it at other times?) to build and exercises it?
Same question for humour.
Yep, guys ask "How do I self amuse? How do I become more playful?"
At RSD, what do we answer? Look inward.
What makes you laugh? What makes you smile?
What movies do you like?
Really come to recognize what it is that makes you laugh, and find ways to make things fun and playful for yourself.
If you are having fun, the girl will too.
Whatever you feel, she feels.
flux Wrote:
What's the advantage of being instantly verbally direct with girls?
I think you can use sub-communication, eye contact, teasing and kino to make it 'on' but to actually SAY whats happening is just giving her all the power, it's like your showing all your cards and making HER the decider. It's also often said never to say directly that you're taking her home for sex...so doesn't that go against the verbaly direct game that is often talked about?
I can see the advantage in doing it for quick club make-outs but is it generally really better?
The more I go direct, in different scenarios, the more I think it is the ABSOLUTE SHIT!
It just cuts to the chase. Don't you think it is obvious why you are going up to her anyways?
Like even if you ask something like "What time does this club get busy?"
She knows whats up. You could have asked the staff. You could have asked a dude. It's obvious.
So the reason direct works so well, is because you cut through the bullshit. You convey SUPER high value traits because you are unapologetic, you are a man of action, when you see something you want you go for it.
As for the "showing your cards" concept, here's the scoop.
I lke what Tyler calls the "Prince Harry" concept.
Think of the frame that Prince Harry has when he goes up and approaches a girl.
It's like... He has everything: royalty, rich, celebrity, all the girls in the world...
Let's say he stepped to a girl, his frame: "Hi, I thought you were cute... But what ELSE do you have?"
Just because a girl is physically attractive doesn't mean she's completely won me over.
It should be the same for you. Just because you go up to some girl, and she is smoking hot, if she is dumb as rocks, are you still as turned on?
The idea of showing all your cards would only apply if you ONLY value her looks.
There is something to be said too about how if you go in HARD and DIRECT it cuts through a lot of the social pleasantries and just hits them on a raw level of primal attraction.
This is almost what you are getting at with the quick makeout thing. You convey so much value, so much raw masculinity, that it fries their logical brain and they just go instantly wet.
Yeah, you can turn this into an instant makeout, or ride the wave all the way to your bedroom.
jona20cr Wrote:
Hi Brad,
I am very logical, How I can change my communication skills to be more emotional??
how to escalate the interaction verbally, from the opener to the make out???
Thanks
Jonathan
Men are logical, women are emotional.
If you look at the 2 separate parts of the brain there is the left hemisphere which is VERY logical, word forms/language/representations...
And then there is the right hemisphere which is more creative, holistic, and probably emotional -although that is my own language and deduction...
So the goal is to turn off the left side of the brain and get into that creative zone where things are just flowing naturally.
The biggest thing you can do is gain a intellectual understanding to stop worrying about being attractive and realize that when you stop worrying and have self-trust, everything takes care of itself.
That is true attraction/high value/confidence/self esteem...
That is not done on the level of words man... Anything can lead to a makeout.
Checkout my facebook profile for a video of me kissing a girl after she says my glasses are lame.
Or the youtube clip where no specific word leads to the makeout.
What I have come to realize is that the verbal part of the interaction remains pretty consistent, it is a neutral slop, not upward.
Your physicality and time spent together are what escalate the interaction fluidly towards the makeout.
And as usual, let’s end with another personal question…
Proximity Wrote:
Did you proactively try to become an instructor and planned it even before your first bootcamp or did it just sorta happen?
I went into my bootcamp thinking a little bit... "Yeah, I'm pretty cool, I think I could do this. I'm gonna show Alex whats up!"
But if I had a quarter for every guy who said that they wanted to teach this stuff... I'd be RICH!
I put myself in front of the right people as much as possible to get this gig. It wasn't like they just called me up and were like "Wanna teach?"
I'd already met Papa 3-4 times, had been interning for 6 months, assisted on 6-7 Alex bootcamps, been to 2 superconferences, a VERY active poster on RSDN...
And worked on my game a lot, worked hard as an intern, and prolly paid about 10,000 in airline tickets and bootcamps that I didn't have...
Not suggesting you do the same, but more than anything, work your ass off and people will notice.
For whatever you end up doing in life as a career, go read Think and Grow Rich. Develop that true desire and start creating value.
Eben Pagan says that for every dollar you receive it takes about 10X the value creation to get 1X back.
So create 10X the value in whatever you choose to do, and have the desire and motivation to push through, and the higher quality the value you give, the more you will get in return.
Whatsup guys, I like all these questions, it’s bringing up a lot of commonly discussed topics.
I’ve gotten a bunch of inner game questions, so this one, and probably a few others, will focus on getting your inner game handled.
Ready…
Here we go:
6am.sedna Wrote:
Went out on my first date…
One of the things I'd like some advice on is how do I make a girl comfortable around me and get her to ask me questions instead of me doing all the talking and asking? Is the girl not interested enough if she's not asking me questions about me? Or am I reading into it.
The fact that you are worried about if she likes you, or how much she is interested is what is making it awkward.
ASSUME ATTRACTRION! It takes care of everything and you can just talk. Whatever you feel she feels, so as long as you are uncomfortable thinking "Oh man, I don't think she is having fun." you are going to be in your head and uncomfortable and she will also be uncomfortable.
Chill back, smile, and have some fun. It doesn't matter what you are talking about, as long as you find it interesting, so will she.
ffioddjds
Ey Brad, I get a lot out of your articles, tight ass shit yo!
Anyways, the player "my game is a 10" frame is easy to reinforce if you're going out every night. And it happens with me whenever I go out especially multiple times a week; I just SNAP into that ultimate "me" identity. But, for guys who are busy with work, university, etc for weeks at a time, how do they keep that 10 player mentality without going out as frequently? Is there another way to reinforce that identity?
Thanx man!
The frame boils down to being higher value than the girl. That's what "my game is a 10" means.
It's like "I am enough, I am the coolest motherfucker here!"
I like calling it the Donald Trump frame.
How to reinforce this frame?
Well one way is in the club, getting reference points from approaching girls just being yourself, vomiting bullshit and escalating and getting a mental picture of girls responding positively.
But when you aren't in the club, what are other ways to reinforce that you are high value?
Anything! What do you value, what are your goals?
It's basic self actualization. How am I making myself more "attractive" i.e. more comfortable in my own skin, more experienced, more centered, knowing myself better so I can empathize with others.
It's basic inner game stuff.
I travel A LOT. My work allows it, and I take every opportunity to see the world and gain a better understanding so I am less prejudice and judgmental. When someone becomes less judgmental they also don't let others judge them. They are less likely to let others opinions define their identity and know themselves better and create their own identity.
I read A LOT. Learning about myself. The books I talked about in a previous article. Gaining a better understanding of my own thought processes, and how I can control them, transcend my emotions, all that kind of stuff.
I live LIFE. Embrace uncertainty and have fun. Don't stress about much, and realize that everything just kind of flows.
Stop fighting the current and just jump in and see where it takes you.
So now, when I go into a nightclub and some girl says "You're a player!"
I take a little snapshot of my life here... it's always in the back of your mind. Here's my subconscious thought pattern...
"Hmmm... How does this girl giving me shit fit into my reality? Travel. Actualization. Intellect. Work ethic... Ummm... Nope... It has no bearing whatsoever on anything... That's cute.... Cool..."
No emotional response.
And that builds HUGE amounts of attraction.
Also, the positive reframe is very important.
Anything you experience, read, think about, can be viewed in an empowering frame, or a negative one.
So in everything you do, you want to be like "Hell yeah, I'm motherfucking WINNING!!! I am the SHIT!!!" Everything.
And in comes my favorite quote...
There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. -Shakespeare
Ah, nice little diatribe, I’m sure you guys enjoy it. I enjoy the inner game stuff myself.
And as usual… A personal one:
Serpicoo Wrote:
Hi Brad. Did you have a 9-5 job when you were going out almost every night? And how did you make this work. Naps?
My schedule was like this...
7AM: Wakeup
8AM: Work
4PM: Get home from work, pass out
9PM: Get up, shower, Double shot of espresso, shot of rumplemintz with a chaser of Jujubees
11PM: Head to club
2AM: Head home
3-4AM: Pass out based on if I have an after party, or girl...
Pretty ridiculous, but it got me some SERIOUS results.
Mitizaro Wrote:
Brad - do you have small town experience?
(this pic actually makes the city look cool)
Ehh, I developed my game in Milwaukee, which is about 700,000 people, but more like only 15-20,000 actually might go out since it's very blue collar and there is only 2 universities in the area.
The big thing with small town game, is that you can't just go for broke like you can in Las Vegas or LA, because you are likely to see these girls again.
I talk about this in my article "How to game your city," where sometimes slowplaying interactions because I know I will see them again, unlike Vegas, where you might see a girl once, and then she's out of your life forever.
Usually there will be less cavemanning bitches in the corner in the small towns, more likely everyone knows everyone, so discreteness is key.
Also, to get really good at this shit, you are gonna have to do some traveling, There are only so many references points you can pickup in a small little community.
Travel to a new city for a weekend and try out some hardcore shit, you'll never see these girls again, so have some fun!
Those references points will help you out a lot once you get back home.
Peace out men and keep at it in the field. See ya soon.
So the last article I wrote created a little controversy, hehe.
The real controversy is nothing more than a semantical issue of what a good definition of the EGO is.
So I am here to give you that definition.
From here on out, in the Real Social Dynamics Curriculum…
EGO = YOUR COSTUME
You hear all the time in self development spiritual woo woo circles about getting rid of the ego, you have a big ego, and detaching from your ego.
But is any of this even possible?
Let me give you a longer definition.
Ego is the false self. Your ego creates your identity, perceptions, opinions, and beliefs in a way that gives your life meaning.
But there is no meaning.
We’ll save the whole nihilistic discourse for another time, but getting back onto the ego talk.
As a consequence of this, ego creates duality. It creates distinctions that separate you from everything else, and everything else from everything else, and every time else from every time else, and so on…
So to live “in this world” there is no way to NOT have an ego.
Get it?
Otherwise there would be no labels, and therefore there would be no difference between you and a mountain, and a grain of sand. It is all one. All just a “manifestion of isness/silence/the universe/energy/god.”
Again, I’ll stay away from the metaphysicals, but what all you philosophical dilettantes need to realize is that when we are dealing with social dynamics, YOU ALWAYS HAVE AN EGO!!!!
It is the costume that you wear whenever you interact with another thing on this earth. You interact from your perceived costume, and the other person from theirs.
So this gets into what I was talking about in the previous post.
The goal is to discern between “good ego” and “bad ego”, and in an existential fashion, create the costume you want to live your life in a way that makes you the happiest.
Guys talk about self actualization, higher levels of consciousness, and getting to know yourself better. What this all boils down to is not transcending the ego, not getting rid of it, not detaching from it, but analyzing your own self and seeing what is actually up there in your mind.
The bad ego is the part of your mind and identity where you don’t realize that there are things that you identify with, your self concept that YOU DIDN’T EVEN CHOOSE to put up there.
Social conditioning, school, internet, advertising, past relationships, family…
We don’t realize that there are actions we take EVERY DAY, based on certain beliefs we have. And some of these beliefs we either don’t know about, or don’t want in our mind because someone else put them there. And a lot of times the other person didn’t want to create that belief for you anyways. It’s just a weird byproduct of some random event or relationship.
Like you are a rebel because your parents were too restricting. Or someone abused you as a kid and now you think everyone is out to get you. Or even you are social because you grew up in a big family.
Get it? Weird right? Completely arbitrary.
Whereas the good type of ego development is where YOU decide what stays up there in your mind.
These are the values that I talk about in the previous article. Things like being the coolest guy in the world based on YOUR OWN conditions.
CAUTION:
BE ACTION BASED not RESULTS BASED
The big thing to always remember is to have ACTION-based characteristics as opposed to RESULTS-based.
That is why it’s not good to create an ego like “being successful with women” because it depends on some outward force, but it is good to have an ego like “a man of action.” Because this is something that is ultimately under your own full control.
Whether your ego is consciously created or not, good or bad, they BOTH create your perceived reality, and control every action you take. It's your self-image, and how you filter reality, and the actions you take based on your perception of reality.
So I've taken the existential viewpoint that, it's my own decision, and I'm going to choose the most effective identity/ego/personality to get me whatever I want. Right now that is having a rockstar lifestyle with lots of hotties...
And this technique is so sick. It’s worked spectacularly both myself and the hundreds of clients I’ve had in over 25 countries…
1. I am the highest value/coolest guy in the world, and since attraction = value, every women is attracted to me.
2. Every women is an EXTREMELY sexual being, and since they are all attracted to me…
Check out this recent clip from the Free Tour Tyler and I ran in Miami, FL last week.
One of the big new concepts I’ve been teaching that has been getting students massive success is a condensed version of the only thing you need for an internal mindset.
It comes down to two things:
1. I am the coolest guy in the world.
2. Every woman is a sexual being.
So the first part comes down to creating a reality that you are the coolest guy in the world.
How is this accomplished?
Well, you need to realize that social value is COMPLETELY ARBITRARY!
You decide what has value to you.
So why not pick things that make you the highest value person?
Sure, by a superficial standpoint, there is always going to be someone richer, more well traveled, having access to all sorts of things you’ll never be able to get…
But why not choose attributes that YOU have, and value? Really it can be anything.
For me, it’s things like how conscious someone is, how humble, the control they have over their emotions, and being well read.
And when I create that specific criterion, I am BY FAR the most coolest dude in the fucking world. And any girl I talk to should be damn lucky, because she is talking to the coolest guy she will ever talk to.
So with this logical understanding, I then filter my entire reality through this lens, and use everything in my life as me being the coolest dude in the world.
Growing a mustache?
Damn cool.
Having a mustard stain on my shirt and not giving a fuck?
Fucking awesome.
Again, you create this criterion.
And what is the awesome byproduct of this?
Well since the way to build attraction is by being high value, and I am the highest value person in the world, every woman is attracted to me.
THIS IS THE LOGICAL REASON WHY WE ASSUME ATTRACTION.
Get it?
So now that I have proven to you why I am the most attractive person in the world, and how you can be too, how does this lead to every woman wanting to fuck me?
Well, it’s physiologic.
As Tyler says in the Blueprint, who is the one screaming in ecstasy during sex, the man or the women?
It’s so blatantly obvious. Check out any Cosmopolitan magazine, or go read Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden and you will see that women enjoy sex MORE than men.
I even went through a SHORT phase, haha, where I started reading romance novels, and I mean COME ON! My MOM reads those things…
Have you ever read a romance novel?
It’s saying shit like “… and then Sergio with his throbbing member grabbed Sarah and…”
Full on sex mode. 24-7.
This is an extraordinarily powerful mindset, and teamed together with being the coolest guy in the world, it basically makes sex INEVITABLE.
It’s just the logical conclusion of any interaction you have.
LOVE IT!!!
So start cultivating these mindsets, and it will take you a long ways towards getting the results you want in this area.
As for how to convey these mindsets, well that’s for another article.
For now just enjoy my greasy ‘stache and raging forearms.
