We Love Brad

Brad-
 
I HATE being bad at something.

I'm so god damn hyper-competitive, that when I suck, it's probably the only time you'll see me pissed or frustrated.

Well, yesterday I had a horrible bomb up on stage in front of about 50-60 people, it was pretty ruthless.

But I learned a lot in the process, even though today I'm still a little discombobulated from the whole experience.

Let's get to the video first to explain things, then I'll go into more detail below.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWcoiqfKsK0

So on Tuesday I had improv class, and I was just off all night.

Looking back now, the two biggest things I needed to work on are fully commtting to the character, and making sure to always create a relationship, even if you are working by yourself.

Just sucked, and my teacher is awesome, so I was frustrated to not be able to perform.

Anyway, she runs a show the next night, where her and other top level performers do full improv sets, and then halfway thru, start bringing people from the audience on stage.

I decide to give it a shot, so me, my teacher, and one other awesome performer start a sketch...

And I just completely SUCK!

But it's an experience I've had before.

It reminds me of how I feel when I approach if I don't go out regularly.

I'm just trying to get the energy and mental fortitude to GET ON STAGE, or to approach and keep the conversation going if we are talking Game talk here.

And whatever happens is not an indicator of what I did right or wrong, it's me stuck in first gear because I don't have the experience in that situation to feel comfortable and start focusing on the higher level things.

For the experience yesterday at improv, of course as I was walking home I thought about the perfect way I SHOULD have ran the scene.

Just as AFTER you grab the girls number, you think about how instead you should've tried to pull her home.

And I know, I just need to get out there more, get more experience, so I can handle those high pressure situations and still keep a level head.

Then, with more experience, you think of the right thing to do IN THE MOMENT.

Damn!

Well, just signed up for a few more improv courses, so hopefully the immersion process will help me start developing the skills faster!

Just like if you want to get better at The Game, you GOTTA GET IN THE FIELD MORE OFTEN!

---

Oh!  Speaking of Immersion, have you heard of the Immersion Membership Program I have?!

I figured everyone knew, but I guess that's not the case after receiving a few emails recently.

It's a monthly membership that I have attached to the Evolutions product, where you get WEEKLY videos outlining various game related topics to TAKE YOUR GAME TO THE NEXT LEVEL!

Covering things like LMR busters, how to push through resistance, follow up game, day2s, etc.

There's an interview series where I interview my best wings.

There's a lifestyle section where I bring in various lifestyle topics, and relate them to game.

And ultimately it ends with me giving a MONTHLY WEBINAR, where you can ask me ANYTHING about the sticking points you might be having to get better results faster, and remove the trial and error.

That webinar is today actually, so it's fresh on my mind and I figured I'd quick post this up.

Anyway, if you are interested, CLICK HERE for more information.  You need to purchase Evolutions to get access to The Immersion Membership, and if you already bought Evolutions, just go to the Immersion button in the navigation for more info.

Have a great weekend!

And, as always, ENJOY!
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Comments

Posted January 24th, 2013 at 10:50 PM
#1

Roccosifreddi59

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/02/2011 | Posts: 170

haha nice vid brad all you need now is a white cat to go with the book. so main point is bring some of your situational confidence into places where you think you dont have as much. its annoying when are mind resets when we go into new environments.but its an illusion really
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Posted January 24th, 2013 at 10:55 PM
#2

Shawnn

Junior Member

Join Date: 01/02/2013 | Posts: 21

 All this advice is great... also, eating beef kabobs helps a ton as well with confidence... 
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Posted January 24th, 2013 at 11:29 PM
#3

Gulisos

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/26/2008 | Posts: 119

I not totally agree. Of course from the practical standpoint everything that can boost your confidence and therefor push you into action is good. Still in terms of mindset that one have focusing on situational confidence is for me a step back - before the time of Tyler's blueprint.

Focusing on some kind of situational confidence in my opinion is outcome dependent. The ideal state is when you can go to any new environment and be confident. Of course it's not always possible but there are different ways to achieve it. I like to focus on unstiffling myself, relax. Accept that I must take action and how I perform (because this is new environment), can be unpredictable and just be okey with any outcome that happen.
When you try to focus on some familiarity in environment isn't it looking for sources of your confidence n your environment as opposed to your own?

Isn't all situational confidence the pejorative term that Tyler used to describe kind of confidence which you get from your surroundings and therefor very fragile and easily lost, as opposed to the one gain form self esteem...
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Posted January 24th, 2013 at 11:33 PM
#4

ThespianRex

Junior Member

Join Date: 02/18/2011 | Posts: 13

 Brad your video "avatar" is hilarious. I love the cartoon character you portray. Great notes on situational confidence. I've found as an actor much of game can be applied to scenes, auditions and the like. You might like David Mamet's book True and False. I find he strips away a lot of bullshit for how to approach scenes and characters. 

I liked how you explained drawing reference experiences to build situational confidence in new environments and psychologically tweaking your frame. 

Always a pleasure my friend.
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Posted January 25th, 2013 at 12:02 AM
#5
Lupino-

Lupino-

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/15/2012 | Posts: 322

 You should portray austin powers sometime in an intro - maybe on a topic like unstifling or self amusment =)
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Posted January 25th, 2013 at 12:14 AM
#6
~Icarus

~Icarus

Member

Join Date: 06/30/2012 | Posts: 29

Lupino- wrote:
 You should portray austin powers sometime in an intro - maybe on a topic like unstifling or self amusment =)
As perfect as the intro to this video.. Snooty videos for an elite few.
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Posted January 25th, 2013 at 12:41 AM
#7

bingobango

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/27/2012 | Posts: 257

i saw some improv at the io theater a few years ago. it was ok, but not that funny. at least there was booze.
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Posted January 25th, 2013 at 1:06 AM
#8
Rodrigo

Rodrigo

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/06/2010 | Posts: 310

Gulisos wrote:
I not totally agree. Of course from the practical standpoint everything that can boost your confidence and therefor push you into action is good. Still in terms of mindset that one have focusing on situational confidence is for me a step back - before the time of Tyler's blueprint.

Focusing on some kind of situational confidence in my opinion is outcome dependent. The ideal state is when you can go to any new environment and be confident. Of course it's not always possible but there are different ways to achieve it. I like to focus on unstiffling myself, relax. Accept that I must take action and how I perform (because this is new environment), can be unpredictable and just be okey with any outcome that happen.
When you try to focus on some familiarity in environment isn't it looking for sources of your confidence n your environment as opposed to your own?

Isn't all situational confidence the pejorative term that Tyler used to describe kind of confidence which you get from your surroundings and therefor very fragile and easily lost, as opposed to the one gain form self esteem...
I got what you said, but I don't agree with you. Yeah, Brad talks here about situacional confidence, and it's contradictory to what Owen teaches in the blueprint when he goes on about core confidence. But it's only in a superficial level... I believe Brad meant that connecting with his 'loop theory'! It means that when you aren't still in the loop of success, you can somehow 'cheat it' (at least at some beginner level) to enter the loop. That's what he's talking here... So you're in a new emvironment? Of course you should always entrust that you'll have core confidance there too... BUT if you don't have, you can try that shit! So you'll enter in the loop for success in that environment. You can notice that in the end, if you master that skill, it's a way to have core confidence at all environments ;).

Besides that, just do as julien says! If it's a paradox for you, then accept, try it, and see if it works for you! I'm gonna try it out, for sure!

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Posted January 25th, 2013 at 1:43 AM
#9
Noronha

Noronha

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/27/2010 | Posts: 126

Gulisos wrote:
I not totally agree. Of course from the practical standpoint everything that can boost your confidence and therefor push you into action is good. Still in terms of mindset that one have focusing on situational confidence is for me a step back - before the time of Tyler's blueprint.

Focusing on some kind of situational confidence in my opinion is outcome dependent. The ideal state is when you can go to any new environment and be confident. Of course it's not always possible but there are different ways to achieve it. I like to focus on unstiffling myself, relax. Accept that I must take action and how I perform (because this is new environment), can be unpredictable and just be okey with any outcome that happen.
When you try to focus on some familiarity in environment isn't it looking for sources of your confidence n your environment as opposed to your own?

Isn't all situational confidence the pejorative term that Tyler used to describe kind of confidence which you get from your surroundings and therefor very fragile and easily lost, as opposed to the one gain form self esteem...



Outcome dependent of what?
Focusin on a specific situational confidence is just getting the habit of something. Just making interactions getting normal to you and develope reflexes.
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Posted January 25th, 2013 at 8:53 AM
#10
MakeItHappen

MakeItHappen

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/25/2011 | Posts: 204

Yesterday i had sweet success: Pulled a cute slim redhead with black dress and FUCKED. Nice! Have been working on my verbals lately (BRADS "try to blow girls out by talking too much" - exercise) and this massively paid off.
It was good but sort of exhausting though - she was the kind of girl that can't take a compliment at all, and you have to banter all the time lest she gets creeped out

Thanks brad!
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Posted January 25th, 2013 at 11:10 AM
#11

Gulisos

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/26/2008 | Posts: 119

Okey. I know what you mean. It's not something that has to replace core confidence but rather assist. It give some edge to beginners so they can get experiences faster.

In the traditional way. When you entering the club you have to relax and take right actions - and this will eventually give you the momentum. It could be after 5 minutes, 30 minutes or 2 hours but eventually it clicks and you going totally unstiffled.

What Brad give here is basically cheat that can get you in this state much faster, by manipulating your brain a little bit.



For me the two method that works are a) relaxation b) taking action. Why: because these originate in your body, so you have more control. You can feel like shit, but you can force yourself to take action almost every time. It could be really hard situation but you can at least try to relax. These are methods based on your BODY.

Now Brad technique of gain situational confidence is something like affirmations. You try to work with your mind, and here you have less control than your body. You can of course meditate to not think at all, but it's much harder force yourself to think positive. Mind is tricky and not easily controlled. So while it can be helpful and give great results it can also not work at some times.

While I find it useful and very effective technique if done correctly it also has some weak points. As a technique that add to your core confidence it's useful, but newbie who became too dependent on this kind of mind tricks can really get worse results.






Rodrigo wrote:







Gulisos wrote:
I not totally agree. Of course from the practical standpoint everything that can boost your confidence and therefor push you into action is good. Still in terms of mindset that one have focusing on situational confidence is for me a step back - before the time of Tyler's blueprint.

Focusing on some kind of situational confidence in my opinion is outcome dependent. The ideal state is when you can go to any new environment and be confident. Of course it's not always possible but there are different ways to achieve it. I like to focus on unstiffling myself, relax. Accept that I must take action and how I perform (because this is new environment), can be unpredictable and just be okey with any outcome that happen.
When you try to focus on some familiarity in environment isn't it looking for sources of your confidence n your environment as opposed to your own?

Isn't all situational confidence the pejorative term that Tyler used to describe kind of confidence which you get from your surroundings and therefor very fragile and easily lost, as opposed to the one gain form self esteem...
I got what you said, but I don't agree with you. Yeah, Brad talks here about situacional confidence, and it's contradictory to what Owen teaches in the blueprint when he goes on about core confidence. But it's only in a superficial level... I believe Brad meant that connecting with his 'loop theory'! It means that when you aren't still in the loop of success, you can somehow 'cheat it' (at least at some beginner level) to enter the loop. That's what he's talking here... So you're in a new emvironment? Of course you should always entrust that you'll have core confidance there too... BUT if you don't have, you can try that shit! So you'll enter in the loop for success in that environment. You can notice that in the end, if you master that skill, it's a way to have core confidence at all environments ;).

Besides that, just do as julien says! If it's a paradox for you, then accept, try it, and see if it works for you! I'm gonna try it out, for sure!

x--j6J5TB8Q[/youtube]
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Posted January 25th, 2013 at 2:12 PM
#12
Alexander~

Alexander~

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/15/2007 | Posts: 2933

good work brad! btw who is the best at video editing? Yeah thats right.

haha no good video and great presentation skill!

Alexander~
www.facebook.com/alexanderrsd
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Posted January 25th, 2013 at 3:26 PM
#13
Luke_Waterwalker

Luke_Waterwalker

Member

Join Date: 01/01/2013 | Posts: 41

What book are u reading? looks very interesting 
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Posted January 26th, 2013 at 2:54 AM
#14
jaxx89d

jaxx89d

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/23/2012 | Posts: 710

Core confidence is about being confident in any situation without relying on memories or ego-based experiences to boost up your confidence, from high self-esteem.

I think it's more effective to push yourself into the situation without relying on first boosting up your confidence with a past reference.

Confidence does not equal experience, especially with girls, it comes from not caring if for example a girl doesn't like you, not just from knowing that you know how to get her and already got girls like her.
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Posted January 26th, 2013 at 8:25 AM
#15

Curtis.Slone

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/23/2013 | Posts: 350

I liked the video! Keep it up, Brad!

Connecting your hand and face to the rhythm of what you were saying made you almost entrancing, haha.

You really opened up my idea of how improv can open up the way to situational confidence. There were a few times I felt you were trying for rapport, but I noticed it was when you were bringing the point home. It made me just want to nod yes!
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Posted January 26th, 2013 at 10:20 AM
#16

Gulisos

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/26/2008 | Posts: 119

Man that's exactly what I mean but you put it better in words.
Method that Brad mention can work but it's ego boosting (I've been in this situations before, I know this music, I already get girls better than her) And all pick up techniques based on Ego could eventually fail at some time, as opposed to just expose your true self no matter if you know what to do or  if you ever experiences this situation before.
jaxx89d wrote:
Core confidence is about being confident in any situation without relying on memories or ego-based experiences to boost up your confidence, from high self-esteem.

I think it's more effective to push yourself into the situation without relying on first boosting up your confidence with a past reference.

Confidence does not equal experience, especially with girls, it comes from not caring if for example a girl doesn't like you, not just from knowing that you know how to get her and already got girls like her.
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Posted January 26th, 2013 at 3:17 PM
#17
Anthony John

Anthony John

Senior Member

Join Date: 05/20/2011 | Posts: 130

 Another great blog/video.  I will have to check out your related post on Inprov meets picking up girls.  
One thing I learned about how to react when you screw up is to Own It!  If you cannot redeem yourself, just poke fun at yourself.  You will show self-confidence and not give a shit what people think.  I am going to try an improv class when I get back home and definitely work on my speech maybe even take a class if its available.
Thanks again Brad and see you next Thursday!
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Posted January 26th, 2013 at 7:36 PM
#18
TedRex

TedRex

Member

Join Date: 11/07/2012 | Posts: 34

Thats rough, but great job going up in front of all the people! I really dig the improv, snowboarding, and pick-up skill set angle. It would be great to just say - okay I mastered this, now next!

But as Stephen Covey writes about, we need to sharpen the saw. 

Good luck on with improv! NYC has a great improv scene practically every night, if you decide to pick up roots and move to the big apple. 

Thanks for the V blogs!
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Posted January 27th, 2013 at 12:44 PM
#19
LethalLex

LethalLex

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/20/2010 | Posts: 944

I like the part about how you can only reach the higher level of thought and intuition when you're approaching all the time.

I think a lot of people ask retarded questions on RSDN because they aren't going out enough to reach that point where they can actually interact with people meaningfully. The approach is still too much of a big deal, so anything they try to comprehend beyond that is just speculation.
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Posted January 28th, 2013 at 4:22 AM
#20

Rotundum

Senior Member

Join Date: 05/31/2010 | Posts: 116

I like how much you developed your speaking abilities, your rhytm and voice is awesome, so careless.
Some constructive feedback: you can probably slow down just a touch and make more use of pauses at some points, it feels like your voice never stops at times. People need pauses to let your message sink in
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Posted January 28th, 2013 at 6:04 PM
#21
ace01

ace01

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Join Date: 01/14/2013 | Posts: 23

Improv rules!
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Posted February 18th, 2013 at 6:45 AM
#22

alamarish

Member

Join Date: 02/18/2013 | Posts: 33

 so cool and i love to read this post 
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Posted February 24th, 2013 at 11:56 PM
#23

Swediepie

Junior Member

Join Date: 02/24/2013 | Posts: 11

YEah that is cooool!
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