Alright, so this post is partially to reignite my participation in the RSDN forums, and the topic is something I’ve recently gone through, and I just like the topic as well.

I was perusing RSDN, and came across a thread with my name in it, asking about how to stop external validation, and caring about what other people think of you.

First Check Out the Vid, and then I’ll explain a few things in further detail below:


Youtube link
Thread on RSDN
Thread on Brad Branson.com

It all comes down to self esteem in the end, the only way to feel worthy, comes down to how much value you put on yourself.

I’m not going to go into an extreme post here breaking down the ways to garner higher self esteem, suffice it to say, the more shit you do, and do well, the more confident you feel to do ANYTHING, including attracting a hot girl into your life.

Then there is the confidence that comes from actually getting experience with hot girls, having them respond well, and you affirming that you ARE getting better at pick up.

But there lies the dilemma, how to not SEEK good reactions if you are trying to get better at something.

It’s not the reactions or the results that should make you feel good, make up your identity, it’s the process of growing, the process of pushing through your fears, and learning through experience.

THAT is actually what makes you trust yourself more. Guys just look at the external result, and take on that. But the problem is, if you identify with the good reactions, you also fear the negative, because you have to take on those as well.

As I mentioned in the video, there is an entire side step around this, it’s Forcing the Fun as I like to call it.

Basically, over time you begin to realize that whoever has the strongest frame of reality wins, and you can almost FORCE people to respond in a certain way. But it is not through poking, prodding them to do something, it comes from believing in what you want SO MUCH, that your frame ends up stronger than theirs.

So if you believe, like fully in the deepest depth of your heart, that whatever happens TONIGHT, it’s going to be fun NO MATTER WHAT, it doesn’t matter what someone does, or says.

It’s unwavering.

This gets you turned inward again, and expressing outward, unreliant on the environment, it’s purely self expression, self love, and self amusement.

The problem is, as mentioned in the video, most people need their environment to give them permission to act in a specific way, because…

That is how people normally act!

You calibrate to your environment, and act how everyone else around you is acting.

But, unless a very specific situation arises, more often than not, the natural reaction to a social environment is to be reserved and not TOO social, maybe just talk to a few people if serendipity prevails.

Instead, buck the trend, hit shit hard, and take what you want!

This is why it’s challenging to get started at the beginning of the night, because IT’S NOT NORMAL to talk to lots of people you don’t know.

But what the goal is, by surrounding yourself with other people who go out and cold approach, and reading RSDNation to surround yourself with MORE people (virtually at least) doing this, you start getting to that tipping point where you no longer think it’s weird to go up to random strangers.

It becomes weirder NOT to approach, as opposed to just standing around doing nothing.

But especially if you don’t have good wings, or your friends/colleagues/family are coming from anti social chode mindsets, things are tough.

You are fighting YEARS of conditioning pushing you back to your old self, and all you have is me and a few other digital friends pushing you in the other direction.

But lemme tell you.

It’s oh so sweet on the other side.

I guess you’ll have to take my word.  ;)

Just as some guys responded in the thread, start off by pushing your comfort zone to be unstifled.

See how much fun you can have to the point of social awkwardness.  And then, as people start to take notice...

Hold it!

Hold it!!

Hold the frame!!!

Make them seem weird for not joining in.

If you believe it strong enough, (which you probably won't at first) people either won't even notice, or join in the fun.

Haha, I'd like to hear about some people trying this...

If anyone has an example, comment about it below.

Also, I'm going to be spending more time on the forums, so hit up the main forum and throw some questions by me.

Lastly, I've got a few NYC bootcamps scheduled over the next few months.  Summer time in THE CITY, gonna be so sick!  I usually have a few old instructors popping in to say hi, as well as a lot of really stellar assistants.

So hit me up, and let's mack some girls together!