This is neccessary also for when you bounce a girl from one location to the next the same day
and your trying to get her back to your apartment. If your scared to lead her home, your not sure of yourself.
I used to ask half heartedly if a girl wanted to go back to my house, this is a turn off ... Your not leading.

Now I just grab there hand lead them out the club, into my car and drive home. They rarely ask where we are going because its obvious its not there place ...

But Bradley, what about XXX Hollywood movie! (uh, "The 40 Year old Virgin Anyone"?)

wow.. good article brad.. One of the best you've written..

btw.. good seeing you the other night at the thursday spot..

N

money post buddy

That's a new one; the "naked-triangle-choke close". I'm a blue belt... I'll try it out this week.

Saying stuff "is the tits" is the tits.

You hit my current sticking point dead on.  Thanks for the advice dawg.

AH THANK YOU! God you know your shit. This has been a mjaor sticking point for me as well. All this being aware of the emotional stimulus level shit is solid.  And DO NOT GIVE OUT THE RESUME. THis is something i typically do. Girls seem to always natural ask you questions like where you're from what you do blazay blazay. How do you avoid answering questions? How to you keep from these subjects without seeming like you have something to hide? It totally makes sense giving up 'your resume' puts you in the provider role for sure. I want to stop doing that as well because it makes me more mysterious, a characteristic that is HIGHLY attractive to women....

I am SO trying the starburst shit out lol

is the tits. lol love it

loving the brad articles recently... keep it up mate.

I didn't understand how you can be not leading if she was saying "not yet" to your advances?
Were you apprehensive about it or hesitating or something while escalating?

I also don't get the whole escalate on high notes bit. It sounds reactive to me, like playing it safe.
If you escalate when you feel like it, it may come off as a bit miscalibrated, but if you're congruent to it just comes across as even more valuable, because you're totally in alignment with it.
(I believed Alex called it deliberate illogicality, but I'm not quite sure)
I had an example of it happen one time when I was chilling with a girl. We we're out sitting at a bench, the conversation had died down a bit for that time and we we're enjoying the surroundings for a bit. Then I started kissing her, because I felt like it. She said: Huh, what do you think you're doing?
I said: Well, I just kissed you.
She: Oh, and what makes you think you can do it just like that?
Me: Mmm, if you don't like it you can always run away screaming in horror.
She loved it and months later told me that she will never forget that kiss.
That is just genuine acting thru your own intentions IMO, it's much more exciting then flipping some emotional switches in the interaction to make it 'ok' to escalate.

Now, if you like pillow fighting, by all means, pillow fight, but do it because you want to pillow fight, not because you want to manipulate a girls emotional heartrate, while you actually want to have sex with her in that moment. What I really think is going on with this is, is that the girl wants the sex as badly as the guy, but it's just that as soon as she puts up resistance, the guy starts to get a bit incongruent and then loses state. Guy loses state, girls loses state instantly (especially if she's into you). You can counter-act that shit by getting physical with some light fun stuff so you regain state by getting more inside your body, but that is just using a trick to get around the incongruence. If you could totally OWN the fact you want to have sex with her and be totally cool with her rejecting you that is ultimate confidence.

Failure to lead in everything - true true, I'd loved the part at a start

"It was a quaint little café. Dark alcoves with plush couches, dimly lit by small candles. Cool chill house music permeated throughout. The staff always seemed distant, yet their pretentiousness somehow added to the vibe. That, or the effects of a few glasses of wine seemed to mollify their behavior."

You should be a writer man

Great article man! Especially the part about keeping it playfull.
In a few days I am going to have my own place in the city and im certainly going to check for some cosy jazz cafe's in the neighboorhood to take dates to and then just naturally lead it from there.

Thanks Brad, that Pillow fight tip work so well I could not belive it. Had a situation the other day where i almost blew it. then remembered the pillow fight. thanks for posting that tip.

Really good article! I actually in kind of same situation as brad, dating around 2-3 girls per week but no sex, i think i got in to cherising mindset to much. I am actually want a cherish, but keep it playful in the bed will probably help me a lot. So one thing is going to change, keep doing what i do and when im in the bed, be playful!