Greetings!

Another week, another improv class at Second City Improv in Chicago.

There are so many good opportunities for vBlog locations in this city, and this might be one of my fave spots.

In today’s video, I explain how the fear of failure holds most guys back from even starting in success with women, or taking ANY risk in life.

Check the vid, and then I’ll break a few things down in more detail afterwards:



Success With Women

There is this weird gestation period every guy who gets into pick up goes through, where he studies as much material as possible, watches as many products as he can get his hands on, and tries, before he’s ever made an approach, to put together the “perfect approach” where he will be able to go through the entire process of picking a girl up without making a mistake.

But once you really put that into perspective, doesn’t it seem ridiculous?

How would it be possible to know EXACTLY what to do the very first time you go out?

You need to go through the process of trial and error, fuck shit up a few THOUSAND times, until you have enough reference points to deal with almost any situation.

The cool thing is, as you get more diverse reference points, it also allow you to feel confident in entirely NEW situations as well.

Your brain picks up on the fact that you’ve done approaches in so many situations, and had enough success, that you feel comfortable ANYWHERE.

I remember one time we were in Miami, and Tyler all of a sudden asked me, “Yo, let’s do some beach approaches, and I’m gonna film you.”

It was more of a demand than a question.

I told him, “Dude, I live in WISCONSIN! We don’t have beaches!”

I had never done a beach set in my life, and now I have my boss, and a video camera watching me do something completely new.

So I go to the first girl, she doesn’t even respond.

Then I go up to the second set, a group of 2 girls, I open them, and I all of a sudden I remember….

“Oh yeah, I’m cool.”

And it goes well from there.

I had so many reference points interacting with women in different environments, that once I got in there, the “training took over,” and I ended up getting their number, and meeting up at the club that night.

Success Barriers

Guys are too afraid to make a mistake, and therefore never take a risk.

You HAVE to take a risk to learn. No matter how many mentors, ebooks, or videos, the only way to truly know what to do, is by getting out there and trying it.

As I mentioned in the video, I had a much tougher time with the entrepreneurial/financial abundance side of things.

This is because I had really bad programming in my brain when it came to financial discipline, as well as taking risks in the business arena.

The funny thing, which I mentioned in my blog, is because I was fairly profligate with my spending habits, I was willing to throw a few grand at a business project, and view it almost like gambling or something. Some win, some lose.

But when it came down to investing TIME into a project, instead of looking at it as a risk/reward, I just worried about any little problem, and never took action because I didn’t want to waste my time.

It’s the same thing. Money is created with your time, and you made that cash somehow. So what if you invest a few hundred hours in something and nothing happens! Just like in pick up, or ANY skill, you learn from the process how NOT to do something.

If you look around at every commercial building. Every mini-mall, every skyscraper. That is the vision of a FAILED business. And another one taking it’s place.

How many stores open, close, a new one comes in, it fails, another one finally comes around and gains some traction.

Even the best entrepreneurs have business failures, but that’s what makes them so successful.

Or they are running the same company, and were lucky enough to ride out the failures, picking up the pieces and knowing NEVER to do whatever fucked their business up again.

It’s just part of the process. Take the risk, put yourself out there. Fail. Learn. Win. Learn. Fail. Fail. Fail. SUCCEED!!!

In pick up, you are afraid of that awkward situation, the feeling of embarrassment, in the business arena, that same embarrassment kicks in, as well as “wasting” lots of time and money in the process.

But it really is the only way. Stop worrying about what might happen, and just go take action.

It’s a common theme you’ll hear again, and again.

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Alright, I’ve got one last week off, and 2 more weeks of improv in Chi town before the Vegas Summit!

My bootcamps are filling up fast, but I’d love to see you in Vegas! I’m only doing programs the first weekend and during the week, which is the best time to take a bootcamp as it gives you a shit ton of momentum for the rest of your stay.

So, if you are thinking about taking a program while you are out there, DO IT!

See you next week. :)