We Love Brad

Brad-
 
Whatsup guys,

I’m about to iron The Excalibur, rocking out again in Vegas, and figured I’d hook you up with some game talk quick before heading to Tryst.

I actually haven’t even been out since I was in Vegas 10 days ago, so I’m interested to see how I come back at it.

I’ve talked about self amusement before, but I want to dive deeper into this because it seems SO HARD for guys to just have fun in the club.

I mean, what the fuck, it’s called THE GAME, don’t take it so seriously.

There are two aspects why most guys in the intermediate realm have issues with being able to enjoy themselves when out. Both of them related to how external factors influence their self image.

And in true Vegas style, I’m just gonna shoot from the hip, and then get to work in the club.


This first aspect is probably more obvious, and talked about often within RSD circles, also the reason I think so many guys fail.

It’s the age old scarcity/outcome dependence dilemma.

Most guy’s identity of themselves CHANGES when they sleep with a hot girl. Or don’t. Or sleep with a “not so attractive girl using food for comfort.”

I’ve read countless field reports on RSDN where the guy says:

“And then I woke up the next day and saw the pig next to me! I feel so down and dirty because I slept with an UGGGG.. (tear)_”

Now I’m not going to espouse sleeping with girls below your standards, but if it does happen on the random occasion, in no way should that affect your personal perception of yourself.

Now, I will say, if it happens too often, you should take a step back and see if you are taking the easy way out too often, or if you’re not creating high enough expectations for yourself, but to FEEL BAD and like less of a person for sleeping with ANYONE, no matter what they look like, is just fucked up.

This creates an outcome dependence that is BLATANT when you go up to a hot girl.

She can feel all those internal gymnastics going on inside your head.

“ooh, let’s parade her past my friends, they’ll see me making out with a hottie and give me a high five! Yay!”

“Man, we would have such cute babies!”

“Oh, this one’s a keeper. I can’t imagine how she’d look on my bed! My inner game would finally be handled after her!!!!”

All external bullshit outcome dependence that you stack on the situation, coming across as WAY TOO SERIOUS because you are making this interaction worth more than it is.

What should the frame be?

A cool guy, meeting a maybe cool girl, and if things sync up, you’ll fuck the shit out of her, give her a high five, and say “Hey we should do that again sometime. Peace.”


The other reason guys are so serious in the club is because they spend way too much time “fitting in” instead of just enjoying themselves.

It’s so weird that we live in a culture where it is NORMAL to feel down and depressed, even if you don't have a reason.  It's called "being a realist."

But if you are having fun and CELEBRATING, you all of a sudden need a reason.

Why do you need a reason to enjoy life?!

Squeeze the juice and live passionately, who cares if people think you are overly excited or having too much fun.

I’ve said in the past that a good frame to have is of “the guy who’s slept with 1000 women.”

Do you think that guy gets excited about ANYTHING?!

Well this frame works because if you are getting overly excited about something someone does or the environment, it comes across as you being overly invested in the interaction.

It’s never good to be excited about anything a girls does.

But if you are just EXCITED ABOUT LIFE?!

Everyone gravitates towards that.

Go out and just have fun.

People spend way too much mental energy trying to “act cool,” fitting in with the environment around them.

When no one is looking, and you are in your car, isn’t it interesting how you just start singing along to the music, rapping to the beat, but when you pull up to the stop light next to another car…

All of a sudden you get embarrassed, see the other person staring at you, and get stifled.

Realize their judgment is not because what you are doing is wrong, it’s because everyone is ENVIOUS of an unstifled person.

Of course, I’ve been the judger countless times, calling people try hard and weird, but something from Hal and Sidra Stone’s Voice Dialogues, is that anytime you have an emotional response towards someone or their actions, it’s because YOU ARE SUPPRESSING THAT THING WITHIN YOURSELF.

Everyone WANTS to have fun, be playful, and celebrate, they’ve just created criteria that is WAY TOO HIGH for celebration, living a grey, dull existence.

Go to work, punch in, punch out, and if you do something extraordinary, or it’s your birthday, then pop some champagne.

But day to day living is for pragmatism.

I say FUCK ALL THAT. Why not just celebrate life everyday, every waking moment?

What do I enjoy most in life?

Showers.

Right now, I’m listening to damn Justin Bieber, ironing a shirt that I’ve given a name to, and I’m wrapped up in some weird ass pink rug that they put on the beds at the Flamingo Hotel.

Fuck it.

Stop being cool and just enjoy yourself.

Alright, gotta jump in the shower quick and get ready to hit up the club again. Gonna be so good, luv me some hot shower.

Let’s hope I can keep the streak alive, I’ll comment below with how the night goes. :)

---

Also, I’ll be in NYC next weekend, haven’t been there since November I think. So excited to be back, and the spring is one of the best times to party there.

So I’m sure I’ll be seeing some of you at Gansevoort or Pianos, and there is still one spot left if you are interested in taking a bootcamp, and joining in the magic!

Yes, it’s magic.
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Comments

#1
the_riddle

the_riddle

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Join Date: 01/21/2012 | Posts: 29

 haha :) whatdup?
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#2

Kickass

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Join Date: 07/08/2011 | Posts: 215

 Damn..2th!
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#3
Anton Pieck

Anton Pieck

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Join Date: 10/10/2011 | Posts: 19

Omg ... 3th !
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#4
dave7

dave7

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Join Date: 09/27/2010 | Posts: 1916

 Pretty interesting topic here. I like the 1000 women frame, you're right that that guy would not give a fuck about stupid shit in a club. It'd be sweet to be that guy.
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#5
NamesAreHard

NamesAreHard

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Join Date: 06/15/2011 | Posts: 354

Fifth!
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#6

Haze~

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Join Date: 09/19/2007 | Posts: 3536

lol... I went to Gans so much they basically banned me.
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#7
SharkFinz

SharkFinz

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Join Date: 07/07/2011 | Posts: 46

Inspiring stuff as usual brad. I think in a few months, I will have to meet up n go out w u guys to experience what night life is really like with some of the best in the game. You are very inspirational and driven by core values. I can see how dedicated you are to self actualization and it is extremely moving. It brings out the inner man in all of us. Besides, you are just a regular guy who pushes himself hard every day. I wish you the best tonight! Good luck brother!!
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#8

steppino

Member

Join Date: 04/19/2007 | Posts: 96

When the conversation lulls or the girl is trying to throw me off balance while driving... I rap or nod my head to the beats.

You should see the expression on their faces... PRICELESS.
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#9
6pac

6pac

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Join Date: 02/11/2012 | Posts: 207

and I say ^&%$ the bieber :D

9th!!! the highest I've ever been
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#10

pringles

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Join Date: 04/28/2009 | Posts: 1085

 yhhh i agree with all you article....i've struggled with this in the past
it came down to three main things for me

self acceptance
being the guy im meant to be (which in my case was having 100% belief in anything i do because anything less made me feel like an incongruent fag)
and getting bored in social situations

If you don't fully accept yourself and lack convictions in whatyou are doing you will on some level being trying to fit in and as a result you will stifle your fun.

When the 3 things i mentioned came together i was relaxed in social situations because i accept myself and get bored to the point of doing stupid shit to make mysel laugh, and im so used to socail pressure at this point its become one of my main forms of self amusment.... last i find the hottest chick in the bar she was with some cool looking dudes....walk up hand of god opener had nothing in my head the first thing i said taken out of context would sound madly chodey it was 'hey do you belive in love at first sight?' but because i kept my conviction in what i was doing despite the girls fast and hard 'no' my brain didnt freak out i stayed centered....i then spin in a circle get right in her face and go 'what about now???' and she is dying of laughter following me around the club
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#11
Buii

Buii

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Join Date: 07/31/2008 | Posts: 98

Great! ;-)
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#12

CJJockey

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Join Date: 05/05/2012 | Posts: 53

It's tough to switch from trying to look cool and into the just enjoy everything frame, definitely something I have struggled with but have been feeling better about over the last little while. I really like the relaxed mentality of I'm a cool guy we'll see if she's a cool girl and if not well then that 's ok. Getting emotionally invested in each interaction makes it hard to approach a lot of girls in the same night. Awesome article, and cool meeting you at Tryst tonight.
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#13
JuanMiguel

JuanMiguel

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Join Date: 05/07/2012 | Posts: 17

 Sounds good Brad. You know last year, before I met my GF (we broke up 2 months ago, I experienced such a level of happiness everywhere... I was fucking happy all the time, and enjoying everything. I was a master PUA, I sucked everybody into my reality and my game. It was all about my fun. 

Suddenly I went to the psychologist for the first time in my life, because I was having anxiety attacks because of a really bad relationships and after I broke up with my GF with who I had the bad relationship in february last year. It became worse. Then I started PUA again, and went on holidays with one mPUA. My level of game got soo high, and I was soo happy all the time. In my happy PUA state I went to the psychologist, and told them I was feeling all right again and was happy all the time......

Then the bitch told me maybe I was not happy, and that it's just a mask blabla.. And I should come more often. She totally ruined my mood for the next weeks. And before her nobody could ruin my mood, even if they said bad shit. I was happy all the time.

Since a month I am looking forward in getting in that state again. Because I was happy, and I enjoyed life. And the people around me enjoyed it with me.

So my question to you: is this happiness you describe true happiness?
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#14
LethalLex

LethalLex

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Join Date: 11/20/2010 | Posts: 944

Brad- wrote:

"My inner game would finally be handled after her!!!!”

Haha thats classic.

Cool article, it resonates a lot with where I am right now
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#15
rOrO_thugin

rOrO_thugin

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Join Date: 12/29/2007 | Posts: 637

 lol this is pretty badass
i am always laughing and smiling for no reason peopl gravitate toward that shit
and it brings happiness to um 


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#16

shahanshah

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/13/2011 | Posts: 226

Brad- wrote:

Right now, I’m listening to damn Justin Bieber, ironing a shirt that I’ve given a name to, and I’m wrapped up in some weird ass pink rug that they put on the beds at the Flamingo Hotel.



hahaha :') I love Brad's mix of philisophical sentiment and random humour.
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#17
Pumba

Pumba

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Join Date: 05/20/2009 | Posts: 399

So I'm not the only one who listens to Bieber when showering
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#18
Frank128

Frank128

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Join Date: 03/30/2011 | Posts: 80

haha dude ! I'll just say "why so serious?"  :)
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#19

maven1129

Junior Member

Join Date: 03/19/2012 | Posts: 5

 What sick video!  Thanks for sharing these life soundtracks Brad.  You're my favvvvv.

BOOM!
Brad 
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#20
Hamlet

Hamlet

Respected Member

Join Date: 12/08/2008 | Posts: 610

 Nice to see you're using Hal and Sidra Stone's Voice Dialogue Brad.

Have you ever come across Big Mind? It's Voice Dialogue taken to the next level. Most powerful tool I've ever encountered.

Good article too.
Peace.
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#21
Blom10

Blom10

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Join Date: 03/27/2010 | Posts: 247

 Last!!!! Fuck y'all :)
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#22

Knoxville

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Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 538

""Right now, I’m listening to damn Justin Bieber, ironing a shirt that I’ve given a name to, and I’m wrapped up in some weird ass pink rug that they put on the beds at the Flamingo Hotel.

Fuck it.

Stop being cool and just enjoy yourself." 

Really refreshing article man. Way to keep things in perspective for us. Btw I totally listened to this song on repeat for weeks. 
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#23

Knoxville

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Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 538

 Post up about your night :-p luv yooh
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#24
Icy

Icy

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Join Date: 03/29/2012 | Posts: 176

Great article Brad, I can't wait until I go out tonight.  Thx Brad.
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#25
LucidDic

LucidDic

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Join Date: 02/14/2008 | Posts: 1390

 good shit
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#26

sucker4love

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/12/2010 | Posts: 1374

How do you guys get into Gansevoort for bootcamps? Do you get girls to come with you first? Everytime I go with my wing we get cockblocked unless we have girls with us lol
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