What’s up guys, greetings from Chicago!

I’m cherishing it up for a few days before I’m off to NYC tomorrow for another round of bootcamps.

I love that I basically bounce between NYC, Chicago, and Las Vegas every month, and if you are interested in joining, check out my schedule and see where I’m at next to join on for a bootcamp of your own.

What I wanted to talk about today is a question that always brings up a lot of confusion for guys as they hit the intermediate/advanced level.

My internet connection is CRAP at the hotel here, so hopefully I can get up the video later, but I wanted to explain this anyway, because I think it is an important distinction.

Guys ask:

“Should I be polarizing? What does that mean?”



A while back I wrote a semi-satirical post about me being a “player” in the International League of Seduction Sports, an underground league of dudes trying to mack on hoes in clubs around the world.

How does this relate to being polarizing?

Well, there are actually two levels and distinctions here.

The first one is, you have to realize what game are you playing!

If you are asking about being polarizing to “become an attractive male,” the type of guy with an abundance of women, that requires one type of polarization, while if you are trying to ball in the ILSS, that’s a completely different ball game.

So the confusion sets in when guys see videos from Jeffy or Julien, making girls bark like dogs, calling them stupid whores and the like.

It’s been said before that being polarizing is important, but then guys assume these are typical examples of what it means to be polarizing.

But it’s just not the case.

That type of polarization is actually better named pure self amusement. Alex mentioned this in one of his last videos, where he talks about “fucking it up on purpose,” just because he’s bored and there is nothing else to do.

Is this necessary?

Absolutely not!

It’s just for fun. But what I see is guys thinking this is a fundamental aspect of getting good with girls, because…

Polarization is necessary to get good with girls!

Then what the fuck am I talking about?

If you are not using polarization as a form of self amusement, what are we suggesting?

The classic mindset of “do not hide behind your intentions as a man.”

Be unapologetic about who you are with the girl, to the point that you might offend some people.

Yes, outwardly this can be viewed as being polarizing. If you hold your beliefs strongly enough, it’s going to piss a few people off.

But what ends up happening is actually MORE PEOPLE LIKE YOU! Because they can actually trust you, you aren’t some manipulative “nice guy,” a social chameleon trying to change who you are to get what you want from others.

The goal is to become a man with distinct values, morals, and an unwavering sureness about yourself.

THIS IS WHAT IS ATTRACTIVE.

So the confusion comes in based on the intent behind what is going on here.

Unwavering confidence is a necessity. Point. Blank. Period.

Attraction comes from your ability to be the rock when the waves crash home, whether that be the girls crazy mood swings, or dealing with the outside environment.

You are the one to help her weather the storm, not be some reed in the wind just trying to “fit in.”

But what I think we’ve all come to realize is, as I said before, this really isn’t polarizing at all! It’s actually MORE accepted.

It’s a little scary at first to assert yourself. Especially if you have a more timid personality to start. And the fact that so many people don’t even have strong beliefs or values, there is nothing for them to even assert.

But you need to develop a strong confidence in your beliefs and in yourself, so when the girl tests you, you stay strong.

*As a side tangent here, I think what guys think of as “tests” has really evolved too.

As a perfect example, I’m meeting this girl in Chicago for a few days. She flew in from Toronto, so it’s obvious we have a strong connection.

I’m off chatting with friends, and I see some guy come up and talk to her.

In my head I’m thinking, “Awesome, someone for her to talk to, so I can keep talking to my friends!”

Later on I walk past and she’s like, “Why didn’t you save me?” and then admitting that she was just trying to make me jealous.

My response, “I don’t get jealous.” - dead pan

She freaks a bit, but can tell I really don’t care. I know she’s leaving with me at the end of the night, I know I’m way cooler than the other dude, and seriously if he WAS that bomb to actually steal her away, I’d prolly laugh my ass off and because we’re at the bar already, just find some other girl.

Come to find out, the trio of guys that were talking to her recognized me as well, so “Shoutout to the Chi town crew!” haha, small world.

Most shit tests aren’t verbal. The girl is usually unconsciously testing you, prodding you by not giving solid eye contact, checking her cell phone, and waiting for you to call her out.

So if you are working on becoming that unwavering rock, keep at it! But if you are confused about if you should start “bending to the dark side,” realize it’s gotta be because you are having fun with it.

Heralding back to 2008 or so, with the dawn of “shock humor,” the guys I was winging with at the time were saying all sorts of crazy shit.

Like “I wanna be a part of your next abortion girl!”

“Come here! Hey! I want to rape you with this chicken wing!”

Haha, like totally fucked up shit. And it worked!

I was totally confused WHY it even worked for the longest time.

But ultimately, it’s a ridiculous form of self amusement, as well as creating a level of “drama” where you can easily convey that you are super icey.

It gives you an opportunity to show that unwavering awesomeness. If you ask the girl “Are you a transvestite?! You better not have a dick!”

She’s probably gonna freak out a bit. But then, with that freak out, she sees how you are calm, present, and that you don’t really give a fuck because internally you find it hilarious, she’ll probably push and push and push some more, giving you the opportunity to chill, hold the frame and…

Ultimately she breaks.

Or freaks the fuck out, which can be just as funny.

So as I’m editing this, I’m realizing that what I wanted to do was have guys stop worrying about the crazy polarizing shit, yet I’m somewhat glamorizing it, haha.

Let me end it by saying that I DON’T USE IT. It’s completely superfluous, yet is a lot of fun as well.

If anything, it’s a spice, not a fundamental aspect to anyone’s game. And if anything can become a crutch like anything else if you start relying on the whole “shit test-pass the test” type of methodology to build attraction.

Be the gorilla, stay in the pocket, and every so often throw a banana at the bitch, but don’t get all crazy and shit.

Haha, does that even make sense?

See ya next week, have a good weekend!