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ABOUT BRAD:
From Client To Elite Level Instructor In Only 1 Year!
Using the principles he teaches, Brad Branson went from an amateur with massive approach anxiety to one of the elite instructors for the largest international dating and pickup company in only 1 year. He combines a unique brand of ’chilled out natural vibe with matchless social calibration and laser precise physicality’. Brad Branson is an executive coach for Real Social Dynamics, the international leader in pickup and dating advice.
So I’m at the airport leaving for another trip to NYC.
Excited, I haven’t been back there since last November.
After doing my taxes again, I’ve tabulated that I’ve been on the road at least 300 days a year for the past 4 years, and with this, my luggage setup has evolved into a minimal, yet luxurious rig. No superfluity, yet it contains everything I need to feel at home anywhere.
So, as a change of pace from all the pick up chatter, I figured I’d break down the system so the next long trip you go on you can pack more efficiently, and maybe add a few things that you didn’t think about prior.
Check out the vid, where I break everything down!
So some things I didn’t mention in the video that are important.
On longer trips, I carry two of the Eagle Creek cubes, one for socks, and one for underwear.
I usually travel with 14 pairs of each, making me able to span about 2 weeks in between visits to the laundromat.
I’ve also increased the number of t shirts I have, trying to travel with about 10, reusing them once or twice, but needing extras especially if I’m working out every few days, and don’t want too much funk in the luggage.
Also, this is the only reason I travel with cologne, full "champagne shower" on day 13 wearing The Excalibur, usually masking the olfactory funk.
I used to travel with an extra pair of jeans, but after 2 years of never using them, I’ve ditched them from the rig, and never looked back.
At the new year, I upgraded to the 24” Briggs and Riley Luggage, prior only using the 20” and going full carry on style.
I literally traveled for 4 months with just a carry on and backpack, but I’ve yet to lose my luggage when I check it (knock on wood) and especially with the priority and free luggage that comes with being an elite flyer, I prefer to go the easy route and just check the larger bag.
I didn’t want to get the super large suitcase, as you have to pull it around cobblestone streets, and stack it in small Euro rooms, so size does matter. Also, anyone still using those old school “Euro Backpacker” bags, that shit is a total waste.
You can never get to anything, you fuck up your back because it’s so heavy, and there’s no way in hell your dress shirts are going to stay pressed.
Unless you plan on doing a hike with your luggage during your trip, go with the standard roller style bag.
Also, by checking the luggage, I'm able to take the liquids like cologne, and nice shampoo/condition/shower gel. It's the little things that count on the road, and having a nice loufa and shower gel does more than you think for your morale after weeks away from home.
Quality Counts
The cool thing about living out of a suitcase is that if you ever want to purchase something new, you must get rid of something already in the setup.
It creates a very minimalist mentality, where you don’t buy stupid shit.
I’ve used this opportunity to slowly get rid of older crap, and upgrade to only having nice high quality brands. You’ll notice the shirts and electronics are all top notch, but when you are wearing the same shirt a few times a week, you can afford more quality stuff.
Or if I’m wearing the same pants for 300 days in a year, I think I can spend $200 on them…
One of the comments on the video says aspects of my setup aren’t “true minimalist,” and I’d agree.
For the first few years I definitely took a full minimalist approach. But when your LIFE is on the road, and you have other priorities as well, you can compromise a bit.
Hence the NECESSITY for dress shoes if you are hitting up the nightclub circuit. And with the increase in hitting the gym, I’ve added running shoes and protein powder. They don’t take up too much space, and instead of wearing Chuck Taylors to the gym, it’s much safer and a better workout to have true gym kicks.
The protein powder is also super nice if you can’t get a decent meal. Skip dinner and jam a shake instead to keep carbs down.
Lastly, I’m sure guys will notice what I call the “HIV stack,” my supplement set up while traveling.
Now, I like taking the approach to supplements in that they ONLY supplement what I can’t get in my diet. Especially while traveling, it’s not easy to get things like garlic, or fresh berries everyday, so I’ll pop a pill. But if I do get enough sunlight, I won’t take the vitamin D, or if I’m eating curry, I don’t need to take curcumin.
If you want a full list of my supplement regimen, check out
I’m about to iron The Excalibur, rocking out again in Vegas, and figured I’d hook you up with some game talk quick before heading to Tryst.
I actually haven’t even been out since I was in Vegas 10 days ago, so I’m interested to see how I come back at it.
I’ve talked about self amusement before, but I want to dive deeper into this because it seems SO HARD for guys to just have fun in the club.
I mean, what the fuck, it’s called THE GAME, don’t take it so seriously.
There are two aspects why most guys in the intermediate realm have issues with being able to enjoy themselves when out. Both of them related to how external factors influence their self image.
And in true Vegas style, I’m just gonna shoot from the hip, and then get to work in the club.
This first aspect is probably more obvious, and talked about often within RSD circles, also the reason I think so many guys fail.
It’s the age old scarcity/outcome dependence dilemma.
Most guy’s identity of themselves CHANGES when they sleep with a hot girl. Or don’t. Or sleep with a “not so attractive girl using food for comfort.”
I’ve read countless field reports on RSDN where the guy says:
“And then I woke up the next day and saw the pig next to me! I feel so down and dirty because I slept with an UGGGG.. (tear)_”
Now I’m not going to espouse sleeping with girls below your standards, but if it does happen on the random occasion, in no way should that affect your personal perception of yourself.
Now, I will say, if it happens too often, you should take a step back and see if you are taking the easy way out too often, or if you’re not creating high enough expectations for yourself, but to FEEL BAD and like less of a person for sleeping with ANYONE, no matter what they look like, is just fucked up.
This creates an outcome dependence that is BLATANT when you go up to a hot girl.
She can feel all those internal gymnastics going on inside your head.
“ooh, let’s parade her past my friends, they’ll see me making out with a hottie and give me a high five! Yay!”
“Man, we would have such cute babies!”
“Oh, this one’s a keeper. I can’t imagine how she’d look on my bed! My inner game would finally be handled after her!!!!”
All external bullshit outcome dependence that you stack on the situation, coming across as WAY TOO SERIOUS because you are making this interaction worth more than it is.
What should the frame be?
A cool guy, meeting a maybe cool girl, and if things sync up, you’ll fuck the shit out of her, give her a high five, and say “Hey we should do that again sometime. Peace.”
The other reason guys are so serious in the club is because they spend way too much time “fitting in” instead of just enjoying themselves.
It’s so weird that we live in a culture where it is NORMAL to feel down and depressed, even if you don't have a reason. It's called "being a realist."
But if you are having fun and CELEBRATING, you all of a sudden need a reason.
Why do you need a reason to enjoy life?!
Squeeze the juice and live passionately, who cares if people think you are overly excited or having too much fun.
I’ve said in the past that a good frame to have is of “the guy who’s slept with 1000 women.”
Do you think that guy gets excited about ANYTHING?!
Well this frame works because if you are getting overly excited about something someone does or the environment, it comes across as you being overly invested in the interaction.
It’s never good to be excited about anything a girls does.
But if you are just EXCITED ABOUT LIFE?!
Everyone gravitates towards that.
Go out and just have fun.
People spend way too much mental energy trying to “act cool,” fitting in with the environment around them.
When no one is looking, and you are in your car, isn’t it interesting how you just start singing along to the music, rapping to the beat, but when you pull up to the stop light next to another car…
All of a sudden you get embarrassed, see the other person staring at you, and get stifled.
Realize their judgment is not because what you are doing is wrong, it’s because everyone is ENVIOUS of an unstifled person.
Of course, I’ve been the judger countless times, calling people try hard and weird, but something from Hal and Sidra Stone’s Voice Dialogues, is that anytime you have an emotional response towards someone or their actions, it’s because YOU ARE SUPPRESSING THAT THING WITHIN YOURSELF.
Everyone WANTS to have fun, be playful, and celebrate, they’ve just created criteria that is WAY TOO HIGH for celebration, living a grey, dull existence.
Go to work, punch in, punch out, and if you do something extraordinary, or it’s your birthday, then pop some champagne.
But day to day living is for pragmatism.
I say FUCK ALL THAT. Why not just celebrate life everyday, every waking moment?
What do I enjoy most in life?
Showers.
Right now, I’m listening to damn Justin Bieber, ironing a shirt that I’ve given a name to, and I’m wrapped up in some weird ass pink rug that they put on the beds at the Flamingo Hotel.
Fuck it.
Stop being cool and just enjoy yourself.
Alright, gotta jump in the shower quick and get ready to hit up the club again. Gonna be so good, luv me some hot shower.
Let’s hope I can keep the streak alive, I’ll comment below with how the night goes. :)
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Also, I’ll be in NYC next weekend, haven’t been there since November I think. So excited to be back, and the spring is one of the best times to party there.
So I’m sure I’ll be seeing some of you at Gansevoort or Pianos, and there is still one spot left if you are interested in taking a bootcamp, and joining in the magic!
Well, actually it was pretty normal. Other than the fact that I pulled 6 out of the last 8 nights out.
So weird, doesn’t even feel like a big deal.
And I can’t figure why it’s been so easy. The chicks were HOT. Like all 8+
The only commonality that I can find is they were all 10-15 minute pulls, sometimes the first set of the night, sometimes the last…
It’s about my 5 year anniversary in the game, so I’m just chalking it up as a leveling up, and a nice bonus after the hard work I’ve put in since the beginning of 2012.
What I’d like to talk about this week was THE MAIN REASON i've had so much success lately, specifically quitting alcohol and the 3 biggest sticking points that I uncovered after starting to game sober.
So check out the vid, which gives not only the sticking points, but how I over came them.
I’ve explained this in other articles before, so I’m not going to go too in depth here, but suffice it to say, most people use alcohol to change their physiology and mental headspace.
One of the biggest aspects of self development is to master the control over your emotions and mental thoughts, so why would you rely on a poison to do that for you?
Sure, it’s an easy shortcut, but in the long run the results are SO MUCH BETTER once you learn how to do everything without any crutches.
And hence, the old skool momentum builder techniques and small chunking the process mentioned in the video.
From there, I started working on higher risk approaches, which helped me quickly transition through my next sticking point.
I haven’t had this problem EVER until I stopped drinking.
But, all of a sudden, my conversations were BORING, and I’d get stuck on stupid conversational threads.
The technique I used to get out of this problem was to start cutting conversational threads quickly.
As you cut more and more, the conversation starts to build momentum, and as you cut more threads, push up the pressure, start owning the conversation more, you can slowly transition into a more sexworthy/man-to-woman type of interaction.
By you decisively leading the interaction she begins to follow, allowing for an easy transition, just realize that she might unconsciously stick with the old frame of conversation, so you have to be decisive here and push through any resistance in the direction you want.
This technique isn’t just related to the alcohol problem, but ANY TIME you are falling into friend-to-friend communication, start cutting threads and changing the topic of conversation, transitioning into a more intimate sexual tone.
The last big sticking point I had was taking any risk at the end of the interaction.
I think one artifact of this was that when you are drunk, your standards are lower, so once you lock in with that average looking girl, you sink in the claws and persist until the end. But when you are sober, you’re constantly vacillating, trying to determine if this girl is hot enough, if it’s too early in the night and you should go see what other girls are in the venue, if she’s receptive enough to invest time in the pull, and all sort of other questions that make you indecisive on the pull.
So at some point, once you lock in, make that firm decision to push it as far as you can with the girl you’re with. Also, just talk to hotter girls, and this problem won’t be as much of an issue either. Haha
It’s funny how I spent the better part of 18 months trying to figure out what my sticking points were, and the second I cut out the booze, 3 huge problems pop up real quick. Alcohol smoothed out many of these problems, but the side effects, especially the loss of strategic level thinking, were just too larger to ignore.
So I have a mission for you, depending on your level of alcohol consumption.
If you are a drinker… Hurrah! Cheers, let’s grab a drink some time, but NOT IN THE CLUB!
Try to cut back on the spectrum:
Drinking booze>Drinking Beer>Drinking ½ Beer/Water>Drinking Water and Sugar Free Redbulls
You say you drink beer because vodka sodas have less calories????
SORRY! That will be a nice leverage point to quit the beer completely, the goal is to first move down the spectrum of alcohol reliance.
From there, hit up the next mission, which if you aren’t drinking alcohol anyway, you can also apply:
Push to do the hard risk approaches!
Here’s the one I want you to do…
Find a group of 2 or more girls seated down talking to each other.
Pick one girl, go up, put out your hand, and grab her attention by yelling “Ay!”
Grab her hand, and decisively make her stand up.
Then say something direct like “You’re cute/hot/adorable/etc.” and proceed from there.
Then do it again until you are comfortable with it and it hooks well.
Comment below with your results. :)
Have a good weekend and here’s to me being awesome.
Off to Vegas tomorrow for a week long excursion with some of the old school instructors as well as a few others from the Elite Crew. Gonna be SICK!
I’m eating some steak and mushrooms as I write this, just got back from the gym, and I’m AMPED and ready to rock.
I got a short 8-9 minute video for you today that covers a few topics.
I realized that the way I teach my students to approach is different than the way I approach myself, and the first half of this video is explaining that difference.
Then I get into how to make the girl invest more, and how silence is one of the most lethal weapons that I use throughout the interaction.
Check out the vid and then I’ll explain these concepts in detail below:
As I mentioned in the video, just like many other skills in pick up, with the approach you first have to swing the pendulum to the extreme, and learn to be hard core dominant, then later in your development you can swing it back to normalcy.
On bootcamp I teach guys 3 things: how to crank up how loud they are, make it very obvious on the approach, and use commanding tonality, which has created amazing results every weekend.
But as I said, the way I approached was different. It was more chill, sometimes with no verbals whatsoever. How could this work?
What I realized is that I was still going in just as dominant and direct, but it was more subtle, more ASSUMED, resulting in an even stronger attraction and intensity to the interaction.
It’s the old Alpha Wolf vs. Gorilla analogy, where at first you are just developing high value character traits, so you have to actively convey your alphaness, but as you get more experience, you ASSUME it, and it exudes out of you through your subcommunication.
So just like other areas of pick up, you first have to prove to yourself what is possible, get comfortable being loud and alpha, and then scale it back and do the bare minimum.
Just as I mentioned in the “tight rope” section of the AIDS article, work on the pacing at the beginning of your interaction, hold the space, and create a nice tension that puts HER on the spot.
Realize this is just as dominant as the louder style of approaching. In the article on The Slope of Directness, I explain how there are actually 5 different modalities for how direct you can go, things like your eye contact, proximity, physicality, as well as the modalities mentioned above.
As long as you are using some of these methods, and creating a strong tension in the interaction, loudness, or tonality isn’t necessary.
But even if you open the girl in a standard fashion, this technique can be used later in the interaction as well.
Some guys have problems transitioning into the “man to woman” frame, which is another situation where you can use this pacing technique.
My wings always joke with me that it’s obvious when I shift into this mode, as it usually takes place on the dancefloor.
Once I see the window to solidify the interaction, giving her The Preview, and transitioning towards the pull…
I Just. Stop. Talking.
Full eye contact, full smirk of glory, cut the space, release the tension, stare at her bod, pull her in, turn away and dance with myself, grab her, slap her, lean back and vibe…
All without a word.
I fully pull her into my vortex of awesomeness and it really feels like The Shark Analogy I’ve talked about on my blog.
Assume the kill, but have a little fun before you finish your meal. :)
Alright, so this week I’ve got a more advanced technique to try.
After you’ve kissed the girl, see how long you can get away with not talking, yet maintaining the tension.
Your mindset should be that of ASSUMING she’s going to leave with you, it’s already a done deal. Your outer game approach is to use YOUR EYES to say everything.
I haven’t seen Owen do this in person yet, but I’m assuming his “approach without talking” exercise is probably similar to this, but the difference here is that it’s way further down the line in the interaction, so the sexual tension is IMMENSE!
And through you dictating the tone and holding the tension, she completely submits and falls into your frame.
From there, check logistics, befriends the friends, and the pull should go down GLORIOUSLY!
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Alright, I’m getting back to packing. You might notice that I have another Vegas bootcamp coming up in a couple of weeks, and I HIGHLY recommend you joining up, as this is my favorite city in the world to game.
Hot girls, amazing clubs, alpha dudes to fight with, and pumping jams, it’s one of the best places to tweak your game and get the most out of the bootcamp.
Chilling out, sipping on a maca/berry/bee pollen/protein smoothie, about to hit the gym, let’s do this!
First I need to ask, how was your weekend? Did you become more conscious of when you were outcome dependent and the “tight rope walk” of staying in the pocket?
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out the AIDS article from last week. I’ve been responding to the comments section pretty religiously, so if you have any questions, comment there.
This week I’m breaking into the vault of videos I’ve been recording over the past few months of freetour, and found this 20 minute gem.
Oh, the long flowing hair, how I miss those days.
Today I want to talk about one of my favorite topics, Emotional Intelligence and how to use the positive reframe with specific examples.
First check out the video, which covers topics like Extreme Self Love, How to Use Positive Reframes, and What it Means to “Stay on Your Path as a Man.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4jBrZ_t9Eg
When you have a negative emotional response, the first step is to become conscious of the feeling and WHY you have an emotional attachment to that event.
This can be easier said than done at times, but usually if you can figure out the cause, that already makes it objective enough that you no longer have an emotional response towards it.
But many times it takes multiple reframes before there is a “tipping point,” where you’ve reframed the event enough that it becomes an entirely objective event, as opposed to something that causes an emotional response inside of you.
An example I used in a post on RSDN a few days ago:
Let's say you break up with your girlfriend...
Then something happens, which makes you think of her, and then you feel sad.
Whatever the thing that happens is... Let's say it's seeing kids at the airport...
"Oh, we could have had kids together, they would've been so cute!"
Then think why you had this emotional response.
As I said in the video, to change a negative emotion, either change the belief, or the situation.
You broke up with her, so you can't change the situation, so change your perception of it.
Do you REALLY want kids with her? Do you logically understand that you will only get more attractive with age, only find a better girlfriend that you are more compatible with and through learning from the past relationships you will be a better boyfriend.
Etc. It's not gonna take a single reframe to make it objective, you might need to do 30-50-1000 mental reframes until you have a tipping point where your perception of your new future is better than you getting back with her.
Let's give a non girl related one.
I used to freak out for being late to flights, or anything transportation wise.
Then one time in Amsterdam we were running super late and I could feel the anxiety kick in.
-I know where this came from actually, when I was 19 I missed a bus back to college and got stuck at some dodgy bus station for 24 hours with ruffians, and it was a traumatic experience I guess for me when I was wet behind the ears.
But even knowing about that situation, I still had anxiety.
So I started doing mental reframes of the worse case scenario.
In my head:
-Well, worse case, you miss your flight, and you'll prolly get a free standby ticket on the next flight.
-Or you will have to stay another day in Amsterdam, you don't have to work for 5 days, so it's no big deal.
-Or even then, you get stuck in amsterdam longer, you have the cash to have more fun and you are with your friends anyway, you love this city
You could even expand it out further:
-No matter what happens, are you going to remember this in 5-10-20 years?
-You're just gonna die anyways, you might as well enjoy this crazy taxi ride and take in the beautiful city
Whatever it takes until you have enough mental reframes that it no longer emotional affects you.
You get better and better with this in time, both at the positive reframe, as well as quickly catching yourself in the negative side and switching things up.
Another thing I mentioned in the video near the end was the life of many guys just starting out at this success with women endeavor.
If you’ve gone out night after night, with NO success whatsoever, how do you reframe this as a good thing?!
Just as I mentioned in the video, you are taking a myopic view of the scenario.
Yeah, you might not be getting laid as much as you want, but is your entire life and identity tied to success with women alone?!
I hope not.
This is just one of many life values/goals you should be filtering your life through. The way to step out of this, and gain a higher perspective, is have a higher goal.
For me, above EVERYTHING, is to constantly be evolving, and building more self esteem. Success and happiness stem from self esteem, and the more you have, the more you can take on in the world.
Yes, if I get with a super hot girl, my self esteem grows, but not because I can now identify myself as “someone who gets with hot girls,” but because I took action, and the method I chose to do it was successful.
But the success is not what should boost your self esteem, it’s the fact that you CHOSE to take action, you chose to focus your consciousness in a way that moved you towards what you want in life.
So by this criteria, JUST GOING OUT should boost your self esteem. Every time you decide to approach, it should boost your self esteem. Every time you hit the gym, push through procrastination, pass on the bread, and “lean into your edge,” have a mini celebration inside, and realize the synergy of it all, and how the RESULTS DON’T EVEN MATTER!
Yes of course, if after six months, you are still in the same situation, it’s probably time to find a new direction, maybe find a mentor, but there’s no reason to get sad, PISSED, or frustrated, just keep choosing to take action.
I’ve had this happen countless times with girls, even more so in business, and just yesterday in the gym.
I’ve been fasting for 16 hours a day, going full extreme with my diet, and working out 4-5 times a week. I go to weigh myself at home, and it says I’m 160 lbs. which for a 6’2” frame is pretty gaunt.
My brain starts whirling, as I’m trying to lose bodyfat, but also doing a lean gain approach, and I’m growing stronger with each workout, and it seems to look like, visually at least, I’m getting bigger.
The confusion steps in, “Was the last 3-4 months a total waste of time, am I going in the wrong direction?!” I don’t even fret, and decide immediately to start eating more meals, and focus on weight gain over cutting, still maintaining a minimal carb load, but cramming a few more meals in through out the day to raise my caloric intake.
Then I get to the gym and weigh myself there on a proper scale, realizing that, no… I don’t weigh 160 pounds, but actually 179. Haha, my scale is a full 20 pounds off. The scale goes to the garbage, and I’m stoked to realize my routine and diet actually is totally on track.
But the relief I felt about me doing the right thing was NOTHING compared to the feeling I get, as I explained in an article last week on my blog, when the euphoria kicks in on that 8th rep, and I’m pushing through pain and stress. That’s the pump, that’s what gets me amped.
Just like when you hit a sticking point in the club, and you go out for months on end, not even realizing what the fuck you are doing wrong. But you keep going out, analyzing your nights, and then one night…
It just CLICKS!
And you realize how obvious it should have been, holy shit! I’ve been doing “this and this” wrong, and now I know.
That feeling is pretty damn good, but it’s not really that success that creates the good feeling, it’s the orgasmic build up of you pushing yourself, through adversity, through frustration and doubt, until BOOM! The universe rewards your effort.
Alright, so for this weekend, what I want you to do is take the positive reframe technique that I explain in the video, and notice within yourself how quickly you can cut off negative beliefs.
It’s almost like the old positivity challenge Jeffy talks about in the Jeffy Show, I want you to catch yourself as quickly as possible when you enter negative thought loops, and FORCE yourself to turn it into a positive.
If this is easy for you, the next step is to start forcing completely benign things into being positives. Why are you awesome, why is you standing/walking/dancing/SHITTING make you the coolest dude in the world?!
Comment below if you find this easy or challenging, and I’ll try to answer any questions you guys might have.
Have a good weekend, and as always, here’s a jam for yeah, this week with words. :)
It’s good to be back on the front page of RSDN, nice to see you again as well. :)
I’ve got some serious news for you today, as well as a nice little package of new concepts that will PUMP THE SHIT out of your game.
I’ll get to the AIDS part in a sec, first, the announcement.
As you might’ve noticed, I’ve increased the frequency of posts over at BradBranson.com to twice a week, and there has been a deluge of comments, questions, and feedback, which has been a lot of fun.
But I felt like my RSDN presence was kind of weak, so I talked with Tyler earlier today about also posting a unique article once a week on the RSDN frontpage, and this here post is the inception of that conversation.
My goal is to help you start off EVERY WEEKEND right, bringing you new concepts and techniques to try EVERY THURSDAY!
I’m working on all sorts of fun ideas using videos from the past few month’s freetours, recounting stories from the field, helping you learn through me explaining my own sticking points, and even broadcasting pump up jams at the end of articles.
I also think it’s a unique opportunity for me to get a little edgier, as BradBranson.com has started to “go viral” amongst my civilian friends and family, and therefore I can’t be as risqué anymore. (sad face)
But no one ends up on RSDN, so expect more hardcore shit, including lay reports and LMR busters. Haha.
Alright, on to today’s content, and how I developed AIDS.
Do you ever notice how after you have sex with a gorgeous girl, the next day it seems like every other girl KNOWS IT?
It’s like you are giving off this weird 4th dimensional vibe that they can some what pick up on.
I’ve had multiple clients and assistants tell me that I ALWAYS have the aura going, although it’s brighter sometimes than others.
It’s the extreme self love, reframing everything in your life, fucking awesome vibe you feel when you are living in alignment with your values.
What is your basal level of happiness through out the day? Do you feel good most of the time, or stressed out because you haven’t met your goals?
I’m assuming most people on here have specific goals, but instead of stressing over not achieving them yet, make every action you take TOWARDS achieving that goal something that pumps you up.
Then from there, just FEEL FUCKING AWESOME, and know that others can feel this. It’s the cheesy “self coming through.” Let go and have self trust that others know this. Don’t try to force it, ASSUME it!
Since I’ve gone full Anti-Booze when I’m gaming, I’ve ran into a variety of sticking points.
One of the more interesting ones is this weird tightrope act I feel like I’m walking when I’m with the girl.
This is another way of explaining Tyler’s “Intent” based on his description of being clear in your thoughts, words, and actions.
It’s like I’m standing on this tightrope, constantly vascillating forwards and backwards.
When it’s forwards, I’m a little too try hard, a little too gamey, a little too quick to respond to her questions or laugh at her jokes. This would be “incongruent with my intent.” I’m trying to get a response, or a little too reactive. Not playing my game, but falling into hers.
When I’m leaning back on the tightrope, I’m in the pocket. Playing it cool, icey, with my swagger on, and shit hits like Petrified Wood y’all. That’s the sweet spot. Being the music, and doing whatever the fuck I want, knowing it’s gonna rock.
I think when you drink alcohol, it’s slows you down, you fall into the sweetspot, and cement your state through booze, so these minor fluctuations don’t come into play. But when you are full sober, you can feel this at times.
I think it fucks a lot of guys up because they get in their head over this. But if anything it’s not all that bad because you can learn to “feel“ when you are trying too hard, or a bit gamey, and scale it back keeping things silky.
When most guys think of dominance, they picture some big alpha dude man-handling girls.
To me, dominance is more of maintaining a specific frame of reality, no matter what the external situation.
I remember when Julien, Hunter, and I were in Chicago a while back and I wanted to get some deep dish Chicago style pizza.
J-life freaked a bit, trying to run to Trader Joes for blueberries instead, but we ended up staying for pizza.
We get back and Tyler starts saying how I frame controlled everyone into eating pizza, yet I didn’t even consciously think about it.
But, from an analytical perspective, I was more certain that pizza was going to be bomb, and because I maintained that frame no matter what J-life or Hunter said, one way of interpreting this is as a frame battle.
When you’re interacting with the girl, maintain the frame at all costs! Shit starts going awry, and just HOLD IT!!! If you can force shit hard enough, you WILL prevail, but most guys break too quickly.
The problem is you are pinging off of the girl. You don’t have a lot of experience so you determine how good your “pick up skills” are based on her response, and then try to calibrate or react to her responses.
Be the god damn yacht and cruise through the waves like a boss.
Man, each year that goes by this just gets so much easier.
Probably because you hook up with more and more girls, you see how casual sex can be, and you just start believing (your frame is stronger) that sex isn’t a big deal and you can openly talk about it with strangers, much less the hot girl in front of you.
Think Spectrum of Authenticity style, where you just say it like it is. She starts getting nervous, bring it up:
“You look nervous right now, what’s up?”
You tell her we are leaving, and she asks where:
“We’re going to my place, it’s awesome!”
She says you just want to have sex with her:
“Yah.”
Whenever you get that grasping feeling, like you can feel a weird vibe off of her, just bring it out into the open. Show her you are comfortable enough to deal with it, as well as socially calibrated enough to realize that she’s uncomfortable.
THIS creates the type of trust, connection, and rapport she needs to head back to your house and KNOW you aren’t a weird.
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Alright, so the AIDS cocktail has been explained, let’s give you a few things to try this weekend.
The one I’m having the most fun with is the tightrope, as it’s keeping me right in that healthy pocket where I just come across to her as the BOSS.
Start becoming conscious of when you are trying too hard, gaming too much, and consciously try to get more centered.
Focus in on your eye contact, slow down your breathing, take a little extra time to answer her questions, and soak up her feminine aura.
Mmm…. It feels good when you’re fully present. And she’ll like that feeling too.
YES! Stoked to be back on the front page, I’ll be back next Thursday to check in and see how things went.
There is something about being back and having a little bit of normalcy. I could tangibly feel a sense of relief when I was driving around today running errands.
Recharging my supplements, I know where that is.
Buying some organic food, I know where that is.
It’s nice compared to the constant low level confusion of being in a new city and never knowing where anything is.
Well, so much for normalcy, I leave in 2 hours for VEGAS!
I’m meeting Alex at the airport and we are going straight at it when we get in. Probably going to hit up Surrender tonight…
Anyway, I thought I’d dig into some of my seminar, and find some of the old school stuff that still seems to come up on most bootcamps. Standard outer game techniques that will make your interactions go a little smoother.
Open YOUR girl
This goes against the old school mentality of opening the whole group on the approach. The power of the direct approach is so strong, literally, if you open hard, attraction is like a light switch. DONE!
The problem is that if you try to open more than one person in the group, you dilute the power of the opener. Again, the power of the direct approach and going in strong is that it conveys a SHIT TON of value if you do it right. And when you approach multiple people in the group, or the whole group, you are spreading that value amongst all of the people instead of your desired girl.
What about the friends?!
I’m willing to compromise the friends, even piss them off to first convey that value to my girl. The thing is, usually when you open strong, the friends won’t even get mad. Sure, by opening hard, you will get their attention as well, and they usually look at you dumb-founded at the start. But by focusing attention on your girl, and being comfortable with the social pressure of having multiple people’s attention on you, and you being cool with it, it actually builds even MORE attraction.
Think about some of the highest value people, like a celebrity. The focus and RAS of everyone in the room is on them, so people inherently view someone who is comfortable with a lot of attention/social pressure as high value.
Again, usually when you open strong, and draw everyone’s attention, even though you aren’t talking to the friends, they won’t drag their girl away.
They are usually thinking, “Damn, I wish that hot guy would have talked to me instead.” Then they just go back to talking amongst themselves.
Talk to your girl for a bit, and then within the first few minutes, have her introduce you to the friends. Because you have already conveyed a lot of value towards her, and built the attraction, she will be happy to introduce you to her friends, and they will realize she likes you, and WANT you to stick around.
Troubleshooting
If you are having problems with the friends dragging the girl away right after you start talking to her, most likely it is a body language issue. Make sure not to lean in, don’t be too focused on the conversation, and of course GO IN HARD!
Good eye contact, make yourself vulnerable and go in face to face (no over the shoulder bullshit), and use a good commanding tone of voice.
What about if it’s only 2 girls?
This type of approach works best when you approach a group of more than 2 people because usually you go in and talk to your girl, and everyone else just starts talking to each other, and a bubble of joy forms around the two of you quickly. :)
And I used to teach guys that if it’s only 2 girls, just open both of them, and whichever one is more receptive, the one that is paying more attention, start focusing on her.
But lately, even when there are just two girls, I’ve found myself going in specifically on the one I want, knowing that quickly I’ll have to switch and get the friend involved otherwise she will get bored real quick. (Yet, I’ve realized that if you come across cool enough, even though the friend is bored, she’ll give you a lot of time with her friend, because she can tell you are the shit, and wants her friend to get with you.)
Why You Talking Outer Game Fool?!
Minor tweaks like this come up all the time when I’m teaching bootcamp. Sometimes a guy comes on program that has some decent experience, he’s gone out a lot, but reached a plateau.
Usually if a guy has been exposed to a lot of the RSD concepts, and is successful enough to have the time and money to afford a bootcamp, his inner game is pretty solid. It’s not like he has severe depression, or negative beliefs, although everyone has some self doubt and can increase their self esteem further.
A lot of the program for these types of guys is me tweaking little things like tonality, and how he interacts in groups, dealing with logistics, screening for the right type of girl, and reinforcing a lot of things he is ALREADY DOING.
This is one of those types of concepts. It’s not going to get you the girl, but it can help out and make you more consistent in dealing with larger groups.
Try it out and get back at me.
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God damn I’ve been killing it lately. Life is good, I’ve got so much to do, and am pushing things hard!
Getting back in the US I’m going to start on the consistent paleo-style diet again, start working out more, and hit the BUSINESS SHIT like WHOA!
I increased the traffic to bradbranson.com last month by 2000 unique visitors, and my goal is to DOUBLE my overall traffic within the next 3 months. I should be over 150,000 unique visitors a month by next month, we’ll see.
If I were to sum up my entire $2000 weekend seminar into a one hour talk, this is it.
Now, of course, there is usually around 10 hours of seminar on the weekends, along with us going out and putting the concepts into practice, and lots of feedback which accounts for much of the value in attending a bootcamp.
But this seminar contains many of the key tenets that I bring up over and over again, both on program and through out my various articles here.
For those that might have skimmed through the video already, or if you are like me and can't sit through a full hour long seminar, I’ve included a detailed outline below with TIMESTAMPS to make it easy to navigate through each segment of the video.
Just CLICK on the headings to go straight to each section.
It’s good being back in the US after a few months in Europe. I was literally eating like crap everyday.
Pizza, McDonalds, the McDs rip off Max Burger in Scandinavia…
No good.
Now it’s organic berries, grass fed beef, sushi, and smoothies on the regular, and I can feel the increase in productivity already.
Oh yeah!
So today I want to bring up a topic that came up recently on one of my bootcamps.
There was a student attending that had previously taken a few bootcamps with other RSD instructors, and he noticed something different about me…
I’m nice.
Haha, well I guess compared to guys like Jeffy or Ozzie, I probably do seem like a nice guy. Must be my
Midwestern values, hehe, I spent the first 25 years or so secluded in the middle of Wisconsin. That’s near Chicago for all you international folk.
Anyway, how can I get away with espousing niceness as a life value when it seems like being nice is one of the first things “gurus” in this industry condemn?
Well, it’s because most guys are pussies around girls.
What?!
Now I’m confused?
It is a little confusing, so let me break it down.
The problem most “nice guys” have is that they try to be nice to GET THE GIRL.
They buy her flowers, act as a shoulder to cry on, do all sorts of gay things to try and get the girl.
You see, I am nice, but NOT TO GET THE GIRL.
Now if I start talking to the girl, and she breaks her ankle, my natural inclination is to help her out. I’m a nice guy, no need to see someone in pain.
But if I’m trying to GET with her, and she’s not writhing in pain, I know that niceness is not the way to get there.
In actuality being nice is probably one of the most manipulative approaches towards getting anything.
“Ooh, I’ll just be nice, and then maybe I can get with her! Hehehehe”
It’s half in jest, because most nice guys just don’t know what else to do, and TV, magazines, movies, and your mother have taught you to be nice to girls.
But you see how there is a disconnect? What makes you think niceness is going to lead to the girl.
So the distinction needs to be made about what your end goal is.
Being nice is a life value of mine, I just don’t feel right being mean. But I also know that if I want to get the girl, then being nice is not the answer.
This doesn’t mean I need to turn into a dick either, you just need to know what a girl responds to.
Back to the old high value, leadership, authoritative attractive values front. The main things you want to convey to the girl is that you’re able to handle yourself as a man, you don’t take yourself too seriously, and are a man of action.
So as an example, lets show one aspect where instead of being nice, what the girl really wants is for you to assert your value.
I remember having a guy on program, and he was talking about his ex-girlfriend. He just didn’t understand why she repeatedly accused him of cheating on her, his response:
“Baby, of course I’m not cheating on you, why would I ever do that. I don’t get it, why do you think I’m cheating?!”
And he proceeded to buy her things, cuddle with her, and try everything possible to get in good terms with her and rebuild the relationship.
But what he didn’t realize is that all his girlfriend really wanted was for him to assert his authority, his dominance. For whatever reason, some girls need more of this than others, and it’s just another way of her testing to make sure she is with the right man.
How should he have responded?
GIRL: You’re cheating on me, I can’t trust you.
ATTRACTIVE MAN: Hey! That’s enough girl! I don’t want to hear anymore about this shit!
You know I’m with you, and I’m sick of you bringing this crap up!
Now I’m not saying get all angry and start yelling at her, but you need to have a line that people don’t cross.
Me being from the Midwest again, my line is probably further than most, I’ll put up with a decent amount of crap from someone before I feel the need to assert my authority. But once that line is crossed…
It’s a HARD LINE.
Don’t let people push you around, show that you will not just bend over backwards to appease everyone.
So in summary, being nice is good, but you still need to have standards for what you put up with. Have boundaries for how people interact with you and a line that IS NOT TO BE CROSSED.
And as a good example of someone with a much shorter line, how about I give you none other than Jeffy in his DVD/audio product, The Jeffy Show.
Haha, I love this product because you get to see Jeffy in his full awesomeness, all the stories, scaring women out of his house with a garden hose, 3somes galore, and everything that it takes to “Get Laid or Die Trying” as he’d put it himself.
And as always, Enjoy!
Brad Branson, Executive Coach
bradbranson.com
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS
P.S. Have you checked out the success stories on RSDNation lately? Oh my god, there have been some good bootcamp reviews. I like reading them because they take me back into the bootcamp experience, and you can learn a lot from reading how other people learned on the program. Check out some of the success stories at http://www.rsdnation.com/forums/success-stories
Even though I’ve taken the last 2 weekends off, it seems like there is never enough time in the day.
The traveling lifestyle literally STEALS hours from your day.
On the one hand, you have the dead time spent in airports, airplanes, taxis, and lines that you could normally spend being productive.
But you also have the added complexity of being in a different place all the time, with different friends/colleagues, and WANTING to spend time with them because you see them so irregularly.
Yesterday’s quagmire was a perfect example.
I stayed up until 6AM working on the newsletter and other internet ventures, knowing that my family was going to the zoo at around 10AM the next day.
10AM rolls around, and my niece comes knocking on the door. I have 3 options:
1. Sleep some more
2. Wake up and start working again
3. Go to the zoo with the family
I chose the zoo.
Not because I was lazy, I actually kind of preferred to start working on shit, but I figured it was probably the only time I’d be able to bond with the fam over the next few months.
Time well spent, then went straight into a 2 hour meeting with a friend who was starting an internet business, straight to driving 2 hours to play keyboards with my old band, straight back home…
And then I started to work again.
Ay! I feel like every day is like this.
I couldn’t imagine if I had a 9-5 job.
HAHAHAHAHA!
Oh yeah… I have a job. Might as well get into that topic for a bit, and bring out the PARTY!
Dominance
A ubiquitous RSD buzzword.
What is dominance, how do we cultivate it, what mindsets ultimately create the most dominant frame?
Well, you might have realized that over the past couple of weeks, I’ve started emphasizing self amusement more and more.
I’ve noticed how much I actually sub consciously utilize self amusement in my everyday conversations, as much as when I’m chatting up the random girl…
I’ve said it before, but whenever a guy is having issues with his conversations not being playful enough, it’s always a matter of shining the mirror back onto himself and finding out what is FUN FOR HIM.
Like always, it’s nice that it’s under your control.
You have fun, so will the person you are talking to.
So how does dominance correlate with self amusement?
If you look at dominance from a fundamental level, most people view it from a superficial perspective.
They try to be dominant by cultivating dominant “traits.”
They take on the attributes of a pimp, or a caveman, or whatever alpha stereotype seems to be an example of a dominant man.
But ultimately there is only one thing dominance comes down to…
Your frame of reality.
I don’t like calling it a battle, but basically every interaction you have with someone is a battle of frames.
Each of you comes with a certain idea of how you view yourself compared to the other person, and then whoever’s frame is stronger, usually wins out.
And I’ve found one frame more than any other creates MASSIVE amount of social value and literally attracts people to you like moths to a light.
Force the Fun
Be the party. I’ve just decided that NO MATTER WHAT, I’m gonna make shit fun.
Everyone hopefully knows someone that is this type of person.
You know the guy that is always the life of the party?
The guy where you could be tired, or with a friend, and the moment he shows up, the whole vibe changes.
You start getting excited, laughing. It’s just fun.
What creates this characteristic inside someone?
It’s just a really strong frame of positivity.
Everything is awesome.
Lower Your Fun Factor
Most people set the bar so high for happiness. They need an amalgam of things to be great in their life before they can feel good.
But as always, positivity is a choice.
Just DECIDE to have fun.
And by knowing that the stronger frame wins out… FORCE IT!
Force the fun. In everyday life!
Of course this is highly potent in the night club environment. You have to be having fun there if you want to accomplish anything.
But even during the day.
There is No Daygame!
I had an epiphany a few weeks ago.
I realized there was no such thing as daygame.
I was in Stockholm with a bunch of friends, and we were just joking around, laughing, having a good time walking down the street.
A bachelorette party walks past, and my buddy Ruben laughs at the girls, goes over to the bachelorette, PICKS HER UP, and carries her off literally 200 meters away.
At first the girls were screaming and laughing, and as he got further away, they were less enthusiastic, and started to get confused. Haha.
But the crew we were rolling with was laughing UNCOTROLLABLY. It was hilarious.
It doesn’t have to be some serious, serendipitous moment when you meet a girl.
Be laughing, be joking around, be a FORCE! A MAGNET!
Make the choice to have fun in EVERYTHING you do.
Again, it’s a complete choice.
Enjoy life and people naturally will want to be around you. Make the decision, don’t wait for someone else, SOMETHING else to pump up the fun.
Why Don’t We Always Have This Fun Factor?
Well just like being social, forcing positivity and having fun requires ENERGY.
It’s easier just to sit back, chill, and be all introspective.
It takes WORK to force a smile, to start to laugh, to embrace life and not make excuses.
Tyler talks about this in the Blueprint Decoded. How if I were to ask you… As you read this… “Do you want to be the party right now, have fun, and be happy?”
Of course you’d answer yes.
But in reality, it’s so much easier just to chill back, and get all introspective, keep surfing the web, or reading your email…
You can’t ping off the environment!
Force the fun, and become that extroverted, social, positive force of nature.
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Not to say I’m there yet myself. But I’m pushing more and more to just be fucking fantastically fun all the time.
It DRAWS people in.
It creates this aura, where people are just attracted to you. They want to be with you, be like you.
The warm end of the pool.
Fuck yeah, I’ll be forcing the fun in Manhattan this weekend. Haven’t been back in a long time.
I had to get a haircut so I didn’t look all hipster in the Lower East Side. Now I’m smooth like a sleek moose and gonna tear shit up.
Have a good weekend.
Oh! And are you enjoying my new articles in the RSD Newsletter?
I’m hammering away at em, should have another 10 or so done in the next week, DESPITE this travel schedule… ;)
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ABOUT BRAD:
From Client To Elite Level Instructor In Only 1 Year!
Using the principles he teaches, Brad Branson went from an amateur with massive approach anxiety to one of the elite instructors for the largest international dating and pickup company in only 1 year. He combines a unique brand of ’chilled out natural vibe with matchless social calibration and laser precise physicality’. Brad Branson is an executive coach for Real Social Dynamics, the international leader in pickup and dating advice.
Oh, hello there! 
