BKW's Blog

Now that I feel like I've moved forward so much since I was younger with regards to women, I absolutely HATE the feeling of moving backwards, almost as if it is an obsession not to.  Last night at work I got that "feeling" of insecurity; that feeling of moving backward into a time when I first started: doubting and questioning myself and other people; alienating myself. 

Why did it come about?  Well, because we recently got some cute girls working at the job and I feel ill-equipped to handle the situation.  A part of me says that I shouldn't hit on girls at work, and I agree with that.  Another part of me feels a sense of insecurity and alienation for not doing something.  And when I get that sense of insecurity when it comes to women it is a jolt of "duuuuude, wtf!? you need to work on this RIGHT NOW".  I feel as though I'm beyond this, and I am, but I also know I am not immune to these feelings either.

I don't know, a little vague, but I felt like writing this.  I don't see myself moving backwards anytime soon.  Other guys here are clearly bosses when it comes to meeting women.  I like to follow my own path.  Right now that path is starting to looking like building a solid rotation.  I take it one step at a time.  And a fascinating part of all of this is that I get more intrigued and turned on by women the more I age.  I don't know why.  The obsession does not seem to be slowing lol.
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