bizzleton3's Blog

 Start out chilling in the bar for a bit.  Approach the heineken girl...flirt a bit...just a warm up.  Walk around...see a hottie on the stairs...say something super retarded like "you're not going anyhere now" and she looks at me all scared.  Then I tell her I just want to talk to her and she opens right up.  Her friend steps in saying they are lesbians, and I just tell her that she is lying and that she does that so guys will leave them alone.  She agrees.  I keep talking to the hottie, flirting, touching her.  She's wearing this leather jacket and I button the top button only and proceed to call her a cholo.  Then I tell her were guna get her some long shorts and high socks, as well as neck tats and a tear tattoo.  Playful stuff, she loves it and is calling me hilarious.  Tells me I should work for in be an abercrombie fitch dude. But Im like "I would only take pictures if it was of us two."  I dont like the staircase so I tell them we're going to the bar...they follow.  I chat with the bar girl that I am friends with who is also pretty cute.  The two girls get bored and hottie tells me to find her later.  I ignored her and talked to the bar girl  intentionally.  See another cutie...just get right up in her grill and tell her she is cute, whats her name.  Get her name, chat for a sec, friends comes in and pulls her away...I tell her that Im going to get her from behind when she leaves and I think I freaked her out. HAHA.  Go onto the dance floor.  See the hottie but she is a ways away.  I notice a girl dancing up on a 2 foot step.  I just go over, pick her up, and put her down and dance with her.  That was cool.  She plays push pull like dancing with another guy and ignoring me then grabs me by the hand and tries to lead me out but I tell her Im staying with my friends.  I want the hottie.  Right then I turn around and hottie is staring at me thru a bunch of people.  I go over there say some stupid shit and lead her off the dance floor by hand.  Of course her friend has to come along.  So we stop at the bar for a sec cuz where else was I guna go....and she tells me they are going to the  bathroom.  Im like fuck, I wanna escalate but say ok.  I expect to see her around again but I don't.  DAMN! She was hot too...shoulda just grabbed the number when I had the chance.  Ended up playing it too cool.  Rest of the night there was a couple more approaches but they weren't hot and it was just for the purpose of approaching
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 Lol.  So my little ego has been fucking with me after I fucked that girl.  Like I want to call her but theres another side of me telling I cant and have to keep moving forward.  I just feel so fucking weird.  Its like that nervous/anxious feeling in your legs and you can barely move them.  Its wierd though cuz before when I had that I couldnt talk at all but now I can still talk reasonably well.  So thats the intro.

Tonight I went out solo again.  Forced myself to do...have to wake up in 5 hours but decided to push myself.  Get to the venue....Immediately open the first set.  They like fatty and one cutie but shes just too old for me.  So I leave from here I go up to a group of 4 people and go straight for the girl I like.  I was saying the "right" things but felt so fucking awkward.  Its not that I was awkward because I was in a group setting....I feel the same way right now.  Like its this intense weight in my legs and they dont want to move. I sound like a fucking pyscho lol.  So anyway I say fuck it and just force it with this girl.  She is clearly not into me....her eyes are darting around yadada. But I keep pushing.  I try to play thumbwar with her but there was NO connection so it fet retarded.  She eventually leaves.  I go after her....she leaves again. HAHA.  I move on...see a girl I met a couple days ago.  Unfortunatly I acted like a when I first met her so that was in the back of my this gay voice saying "she knows your weird."  LIKE COMEON RYAN.  I go up....shes laughing at what im saying and touching me.  But i still felt really wierd and forcing shit.  

Side note:  I feel like I had no choice but to force it tonight.  How do I act congruent when I feel like Chinese person on an LA freeway. LIKE WTf

Anyway, back to the night.  She eventually says "why are you so awkward."  Cuz we were on the dance floor and I was just talking her stiff as a rock.  I dont know what I said, but eventually I said "Look either you like me or you dont....You can say no to me."  I thought that was pretty genius but I knew it wasnt going to lead anywhere.  I could just tell the chick has a hard time saying "no".  So I leave cuz I know im being a fucking creeper.  Who fucking cares though.  Seriously ego, who gives a fucking shit if one goddamn girl thinks your a wierdo.  It is going to happen from time to time.  I sound really pissed right now, but more just stifled as a motherfucker.  Anyway So I want to leave.  But I told myself I would be out for an hour and I have ten min left.  I spot a chick and hesistate for a second then loop back around and approach.  This chick is into it.  I mean I feel the same way but I can immediatly tell there is a decent vibe here.  Her fatty friend wants to go get tacos so we all go.  So were at the taco place....fatty and my girl are talking to the guy manager and completely ignoring me.  So I flirt with girl who took my order and if she had a cuter face I woulda rammed her.  But anyway this starts to piss me off but I lett them do there thing and I eat my taco.  When the fatty says we have to leave to me...I stop my girl for a second.  Tell her how rude that was of her to ignore me like that after inviting me for tacos.  She starts to apologize and comply but fatty comes back and grabs her away from me.  I just stand I should have said fuck you to the fatty and gotten the chicks number at least but I felt like such a dud.  Anyway now Im back home about to go to sleep.

Right now its hard to see the good out a night like this.  I went out, persisted, and approached all the while feeling like a pyscho person.  So thats cool.  But I fucking hate how one night I feel great and the next I feel like this.  I know I aint the only one like this but its ridiculous shit.  Like by nature Im a little anxious but this shit is a joke.   All I can do is keep on keeping on and trying new shit and just be myself cuz IM GOOD ENOUGH.  Funny how the A's won tonight and I feel so shit.  2 more games....we are the shit at home and I know my boys reddick and cespedes will get it done.  

If anyone reading this goes through the same shit lemme know your opinion.  It is much appreciated. THANKS
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 Ok so I just had my first taste of success post RSD introduction.  I just want to mark it down and write this so I will remember and also cuz its fun to write shit about getting laid. 

I was at school about a week ago.  Sitting down at the coffee shop and a girl walked by me.  We exchanged eye contact.  She sat down just close enough to where we had a clear view of each other.  So we have a looking contest for a bit and I think to myself..."I could just sit here and know what is going to happen, or go over and see what will happen."  I still pass on these situations sometimes, but this time I just felt like it was so right cuz of the eye fucking going on.  I do my usual shit like think about all the people sitting around her and think they will all hear everything I say, but I said ot myself, fuck this, just GO.  So I did, we had a cool convo and we had a vibe but it wasnt anything insane.  So I get her number.  After a week of really sketchy on and off texting she texts me, "whats up" tonight.  Im at a party and tell her to come by after work.  She does.  We go outside to my car and drink some beer then get in and listen to music for a while.  Eventually she says to me, "Should I leave" and I signal I dont give a fuck and she starts to leave.  Then I pull her back in and give her a quick makeout and ask if she feels better.  She says yes.  So we get back to my house and fuck.  For as many stupid things as I thought I said with this girl and some of the bullshit needy or insecure feelings I had going on I still ended up banging the shit out of her and it was awesome.  So basically, It is so cool to get a true pick-up fuck under my belt.  This aint anything to brag about, but now I know that it truly is possible to do this....and still fuck up alot.  A's lost to verlander today but he is a fucking beast.  We'll be back. GO ATHLETICS
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 First time going out solo in a while.  Meditated for 20 min before I went out.

So obvioulsy Im a little bit nervous but as soon as I walk out my car I was super chilled out.  Like before I would always try to do something ridiculous like a down low high five to a pedestrian but tonight i said fuck that and was just being me.

So I go into the club where I have gotten to be pretty good friends with the bouncers.  So I definitely feel welcome.  No one is in there so I go upstairs.  See two blondies at the bar.  A 7 with her fatty friend.  Just walk up super casualy and honestly open with "hi ladies."  They are super responsive.  Im just chilling back acting super calm because I really was that way tonight.  I honestly didnt care about getting laid, I was just happy to talk and bullshit.  At one point the girl tells me that  "Im being super mysterious....and its not working" which tells me shes into it.  But its the first set of the night so I let them go.  Head to the other bar across the street thats popping off.  

Theres a long ass line to get in.  You can usually just go in the bar side of the place but the bouncer is herding people to the line to get in through the front.  I think for second what Im going to do.  Since I know the guy a little I just decide to casually hand him my ID like I expect to get in without any anxiety over it.  It was a wierd zen feeling.  So I give it him, he looks at and says "I can't let you in....pause...but since your here all the time come on in."  Lol awesome, It was like he felt that I didnt give a shit.  So the place is crowded, Im a little stiffled at first cuz everyones dancing around me and Im in the chillest vibe ever.  Hesitate on a group of girls and decide to walk around for a sec.  Immediatly spot my next target and go in.  Dont remember what I opened with but I walked right the fuck in there without thinking anything.  Again, a 7 with a fatty friend.  Anyways we spent like an hour together on and off dancing and her friend was like her personal bodyguard.  It was hilarious, she would she a guy eying down my girl and hug her tight so the dude wouldnt approach.  At one point the friend wispered to me "its ok, Im just guarding her from these creeps"...aka she wants her friend to be with me.  So we play thumbware, get really close, pull away, playful argue a little then when i lead them outside for some fresh air they leave.  Get her number...her friend put it in for me lol.  So that was cool.  

Next, me and my buddy who I happened to come across at the bar go to the third bar in the ABQ rota.  He gets up on two girls, I swoop around and talk to the friend who is a 7 as well.  Have an honestly down to earth good exchange and turns out she is engaged.  I keep talking cuz I dont see anything else around and she is a fun girl.  Anywhooo I leave after a bit and scout the place out.... nothing.  

Leave and go back to the first place where I see the girl who said I was mysterious.  She sees me and tries to walk by with a smile and I say "I dont get a hug?" lol, I just grab her and hug her.  She says she is sad cuz she lost her phone and asks me where her phone is.  I say, "how the fuck would I know where your phone is"...I was just so not giving a fuck that I thought this was cool to say in a serious manner.  She kinda looks at me wierd and walks away.  5 minutes later we meet again and I tell her Im sorry for acting like a dick cuz I really felt that way.  She says she doesnt think I am and walks away.  Not in a dismissive way...I could have persisted but said fuck it.  Anyway, just texted the one number I got.  

So for a night out by myself, I HAD A LOT OF FUCKING FUN JUST BEING SUPER CHILL.  I didnt do anything "socially unacceptally crazy" to "boost my state."  I was just me.  I like being a calming presence.  It calms down others and this in turn calms me down.  Im not saying that Im pinging off others, but I can see them coming into my state.  Great night. GO ATHLETICS.
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 Went out last night.  Me and two of my buddies.  We decided to go to this gay club which has the best music, best setup, and best party atmosphere for the area.  Ive recently been drinking more than usual when going out but tonight my buddies wanted to get really fucked up so as not to be tripped out by all of the gay guys around us.  So we get hammered.  Anyways...

First Set

Two very average girls (most of the pairs of girls are lesbians but not going to make any assumptions)....I hesitate for a sec then go in and hip bump her and accidently step on here toe.  HAHA.  Just another lesson not to think.  So it just felt wierd and I move away.

Two strong ass drinks later Im really really fucked up.  Now Im going hard in the paint.  Right now its hard for me to even remember this but it all came back to me and I want to get it down/reflect.

2nd set

Three girls grinding on each other.  Go in with "I can do way better than that.." The girl immediatly gets out of the way and lets me get at my target.  We grind for a little.  I dont remember what happens after that. 

3rd set

Two girls dance on this table in the corner of the dance floor but is obviously visible to everyone.  Just hop right on up there with no hesistation.  I get in the middle of them and grind on my girl while not totally ignoring the other.  After a second of that bullshit I pick my girl up wrap her legs around my waist and push against the wall.  I mean I honestly dont even remember what this girl looks like but I was in this drunken zone. 

So a few more sets go down like this.  You might be wandering why Im writing such a boneless blog but heres what I got out of it.  Its obvious, but my drunken state is my obvious approach state.  I dont give a fuck, Im not aware of what others are thinking, and Im just doing me.  I am acting out of basic human nature to fuck girls.  But closing however, Is basically impossible.  SO, I want to get to the point where I can soberly approach girls like this.  A lot of times I question whether or not I am capable of doing this, but I learned last night that I can.  In the past I would have viewed last night as a waste of time because I "wasn't growing" because I was "cheating" and getting drunk.  I mean I fully know that you dont grow your game when your fucked up, but I did take away from last night that somewhere deep inside me is a beast.  Ive never looked at like that, I always thought the drunken me wasnt "me" and I couldnt ever get to that state.  The light is at the end of the tunnel.  Also I just watched Jeffy's video on the lifestyle thing and I couldnt agree more.  My other post about the hot girl I went on a date with was exactly what Jeffy was talking about.  I knew it too because I was holding onto a belief not conducive to pick up.

Also, if anyone reading this lives in Albuquerque and wants to approach a lot of girls shoot me a message.


One more thing.  Check out this excellent article on charismatic traits... link< >. What is your guys' opinion on this?  I struggle with the balance of self-love and this approach towards personality. 
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Here's the deal.  I need some clarity in the what the fuck I am trying to do.  I am an impulsive motherfucker by nature and if things don't happen immediately I get pissed/want to quit.  Its something that I took note of a couple years back and have made rogress but its time to change that shit.  I want to achieve mastery.  No more of this petty result oriented thinking. So, I want to come up with a "solid gameplan" as Nathan would say, aka Goals.  Without any clarity I'm basically just walking around aimlessley trying to get laid.  That is a waste of time.  I want to do things for a greater purpose so that I can begin my detachment from results.  I would really love to hear some tips on goal setting from anyone that has experience.  I have a general picture of what I want to be ( A confident, risk taking man with rock solid frame) but struggling with how the fuck do I get there.  It seems far away, possibly due to all the reading I've done and comparing myself too much to other people but regardless, I still feel like an inadaquate sometimes.  It is easy to fall back into this crybaby thinking without clarity.  So if anyone has advice, please let me know.  
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This is blowing my mind right now so I want to get it down. Also, I look forward to doing more of these.

So first, a little introduction.  Im a 22 year old 5th year college student.  Didnt get laid until my freshman year in college and to this point I have had sex with 7 women in my life.  Numbers not something to stress over but still a good indicator of where you are at.  Anyway, I have fucked around with game for two years now but only in the last month or two have I started to take this stuff seriously.  Approaching girls during the day going to class, going out as much as possible and approaching, watever.  I could go further into this but you get the jist: I am basically a noob right now with much work to do.  But I have seen some progress, indicated by what I will delve we go

About 4 weeks ago I saw this really cute girl get out of her car on the way to class.  I had hesitated the past couple of days and this time I said, Ryan, GO! So i went in with, "hey this is really random but I had to stop you because I think your really cute."  Whatever, talk about her class for a second, make a couple of good jokes, give her a hug, get her number.  So we text on and off for like three weeks.  During this time I have sex with one girl that I wasn't into at all but did it anyway, go out alot, get a few makeouts, a few numbers, but nothing really solid.  So two days I decide I am going to attempt to take this girl on my first real date.  What i mean is that I had never taken a girl on a date who I hadnt hooked up with before.  So I arrange to go to Starbucks.  I have her come to my house so I know that we will invariably have to end up back here.  Got that hint from Brad Branson.  She gets out the car, and this girl is wayyyyyyyy hotter than I remembered.  Shes a 9.5.  Hottest girl Ive ever had a solid interaction.  But for some reason I am in the zone.  I take her with me to the bank to drop off some checks first, just trying to bring her into my life and show her Im a cool dude, got that from Ryan.  So we go to Starbucks, play thumb wars, got that from TwoStep.  Then I take her to walk through some of the shops near by.  Again got that from Two Step.  I am escalating the whole time as we try on stupid shit and make fun of each other.  By the end of the date I just know its on.  We get out of the car, its 315 she has work at 4.  I immediately grab her.  She melts.  I give her a light kiss. Pull back, go back in, make out more.  She loves it.  Grab her ass.  Grab her boobs....she works at hooters by the way so you get my drift.  Just going so well... Im in the ZONE.  So I let her go to work.  Its friday night right now, we went out on wednesday.  So immediatley after the date Im pumped, but then I start freaking the fuck out, thinking things like "I should have fucked her, I have to fuck her, Shes the hottest girl Ive ever been with....chode shit.  I realized before when I didnt "realize" how hot she was I didnt care what I said to her on text....I was being me and it worked.  Now Im scared cuz its hard to act like my true self with all these needy insecure thoughts.  Obviously.  Regardless, I had her lined up to hang out with me tonight.  We were texting and I was feeling a super aggresive/descriptive text of us getting frisky and no response.  Whatever.  Truth is it is probably best I didnt have sex with her.  My biggest sticking point is complacency.  I was letting thoughts run through my head like If i fuck this super hot chick I will be good enough and validated now.  SO GAY.  At least I recognize it.  I feel like shit right now, so fucking anxious about it and obviously I still want to fuck her because I seriously like and felt so much vibe on the date.  I mean everything went perfectly.  Everything fell into place because I was being me and not giving a shit.  I also realize this is less of a field report than me ranting but I like to get this down on paper.  I need to be more goal oriented to get a clearer path.  As Ozzie would say, I am an Obssessive as defined by George Leonard.  Ive never had goals in my life and its time I get them or I will continue to have ocurrances like this.  My spelling sucks but whatever.  If your reading this I hope you can Identify or possibly offer any advice.  I seriously want to be a stud at this.  Sometimes that desire isnt there, but that is really just my ego saying I need to take it easy so as not to get hurt.  But I know deep down that I feel like shit when I do that.  I want to be a boss at this and in life.  I know the other side of it and want so strongly to flip my paradigm.  So I may or may not have sex with this girl.  Kinda feel like Im not going to though which usually means i wont.  When you want something so badly you rarley get it.  Right now the one-itis is ridiculously high cuz I am attached to her hotness but this is a sign of my old ways.  Well Im seriously tired...went out tonight cuz I figured we werent going to meet up....Commitedly opened two sets in thirty minutes one of them bit but I didnt feel much attraction.  Fuck this.  IM IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL.  
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