Behzad's Blog

Before I even start I should say that im half way through watching the blueprint. What I find extremly usefull about this is the way u should not resist the bad emotions that come to u. In fact u should accept them and do what u do even though theyre there.

So here'e what happened after night 18:
I studied on sunday and went out on the monday which was basically night 18. So I see that there r not many people around and theres only one set of girls. So im like "carefull" and trying not to be too agressive. So i end up being extremly funny with my fucked up jokes and getting kicked out of the bar because of it. Damn what happens after? HUGE state crash. Its like i feel totally fucked. So I go into this other bar and i dont even feel like approaching the only one set and im like fuck it. But after that I drove around and decided to go back and then find out that the bar's closed. So I just chat up with the girl at the door(too older than me. dont wana game her) and this dude thats with her and then I go home. Not knowing that im gana get a really different experience the night after.

So night 19 starts and i go to this club. Im not that agressive no more cause of last nights state melt down and its like im waiting for permission to be agressive. FUCK. Well I did some approaches that didnt go well and in the middle of the night i try to open some girl with my spin opener which consists of taking her hand and spinning her. Then this mad chode comes up and hes like "She has a boyfriend" Then what happens is that I go around more but simply fuck up by being a and then I end up knowing this girl to be the best opportunity. Based on experience, now I know that there r no best opportunities and this is just a way of fucking with urself. So I go behind her and lift her up and put her down.........................................................
U really wana know what happens after? This is fuckin brutal. In fact it would be embaressing too if I still
did give a fuck. Well i didnt give a fuck about it at that night but started to give a fuck the day after. Ok here it goes:

Right when I start lifting the girl up the "mad chode" whos just dancing around there and not even talking or getting physical goes "NOOOOOOO!". He fuckin shouts that outloud. To be honest im thinking about him as one of my top 10 list of most miserable people that exist. He was being a chode and searching for value with his "empty cup" the whole night. He didnt even get any girls because he looked FUCKED with that serious mad look on his face. Im not saying that he was bad looking. But he was a chode and he got what a chode deserved. What I got from this? I simply got what a deserved! Yah i was a that night and the night before that. When I put down the girl all I feel is a series of punches at  my face and my "karate gaurd" which sucks ASS and gets totally unusefull after the 5th punch. and while all of this is happening I realize that i dont wana hit the guy. How simple is that? I dont wana hit him cause i feel bad! WTF? I only throw one half hearted punch that was meant for making him back off.......
Where r the fuckin bouncers at this point? no fuckin idea. The guy just finishes punching after like 20 seconds when i fall on the fuckin stage and shit and then fuckin leaves. Well i think the bouncers kicked him out. But I see none of that high action bouncers that i saw everytime that there was a fight. The funny thing is that im fuckin smiling as im getting up. I hand shake with some guy that's watching me and really expecting me to be fucked.  
I go home and I come back right after fixing my contacts and washing the blood in my nose. And at the end of the night I end up with nth. No gaming whatsoever.

Night 20 doesnt go that bad. I regroup my inner game a little by having some fun and approaching some chicks and actually doing some game. I dance with 2 girls. Talk with one. But heres what happens while im talkin to this girl. Well guess what? I see my college "friend". As he sees me doing my own shit (which IS kinda crazy and weird but also self amusing) he says to the girl "this guy is weird eh?" wtf? I ensure the girl that my "friend" is right and im a crazy motherfucker. After a little more time that i talk to her and my "friend" he goes to the girl: "Im really sorry about this. I was in the same class with this guy in college..." fuckin chode. Heres the problem: I dont do shit about this guy even though he's basically messing with me while acting like he's my friend. So the girl leaves and so does the guy. He was basically just there to ruin my game and he kinda had no game at all cause the girl was leaving both of us. Not just me. The funny thing is that while im talking to this girl her friends r like taking pictures at us. Its like this is some fucking circus or sth. And im like trying not to be in any of the pics and they end up telling me that I'm in every pic and im like "Great". But theyre probably lying and if its true, i simply dont give a fuck.

When I get home after night 20 im like "this cant stand" and i start to realize that i need consistency. So I go to the gym the day after and get a haircut. This is not because of girls. Its only cause I like my self this way. I do like to be fit and have this sick hairstyle just to feel good. Cause if i wana be consistent about what i value i gt go after the shit. Like work-out cause i like to have a more muscular body. Get a hair cut cause i "like" my hair like that. Im not seeking validation with any of this. 

Tonight was good in overall. It was a good experience cause i got "myself" back from the deep hole of "validation seeking". I approached every girl. Danced with 3 and got a better insight. This aint so hard to do. I remember this last girl that I was dancing with who didnt wana make out with me cause this was the "first date" I really didnt care much about making out. But i thought i should and i fucked it up. Whatever. Im happy with what I got out of tonight. Because tonight I actually had fun cause i did not "resist" any emotions that came my way. I dont even feel at a loss. In fact im starting to feel more natural. I was thinking of what to do with the last girl all the time even though I knew i had some kinda positivity in me that was the reason of the start of it all. The positivity made me step-up and dont be attached to the results. So considering the fact that she asked me to leave just because it seemed like i cared too much about this, I still didnt even lose my state. Well this makes things way simpler for tommorrow. This time im just gt Step-Up with my positive and careless personality and then just "Let the chips to fall where they may." Its not necessary to "push" for make-out or anything. But i feel like its kinda neccesary to seek what u want by game. (no pushing) I wont forget that what u want is not necesarily what u need. I got all of this positive energy in me already so why should i even fuck with myself about the results?  At least this is the way i view the situation and this is what im certain about for now. Maybe some things will turn out different.
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