Behzad's Blog

 
Its been really long since I did my last post. The truth is that i became a really different person through the last 3-4 months. I compeletly understand the fact that were all equal now. We can all b pimps or fags. Its only our choice that matters. I did so many things during this 4 month period. I read Jeffys book. I went out for many nights and then stopped when i went backhome. Backhome I learned that only I can choose what kinda person I am and no one else can choose for me. So I chose to become a pimp. But that doesnt happen in an instant. But in fact to b honest there actually is a kinda good instant transformation when u choose sth like that. As time has passed, I have become better and better at it. My real goal is not to get laid no more. Thats only some part of my journy. My real goal is to become what I want. And what I want is what I mostly respect. I pictured the coolest person in the world. The coolest version of me. and i wana b him. It doesnt mean that I wana do what others think is cool. In my vision everyone has a different sense of coolness. and u can never rank it.

Ive quit drinking. Im not doing any drugs. I dont approach every hot girl i see cause not any hot girl deserves me. I like what I like and do what I do. I dont care what others think. I only look at it from my prespective and ask my self: "am I being what I wana be?"
I dont think too much about interactions. I just let them go the way they go. I say what I feel like to  say and do what I feel like to do...most of the time. casue im not a total pimp yet.

My whole life has changed eversince the last rave ive been to. It was called Labour of Love. In that rave I learned that I can b ok and happy in life. And girls r only the spice. Which r not needed. but should b included.

I have never gotten laid before. Im not proud or sad cause of that. I know that itll come. Cause im working on it. Not desperatly. But I do it up with confidence. And im learning more than ever. Cause the distractions of failure unjustice, weakness, and all the other bs anyone can come up with have become really limited in my mind.

I go towards what I want and nth can stop me.

My looks do not matter. My Charisma attracts any girl. I just dont know how to close ;p
Im the same person. Im the same videogame geek. Im the same guy who would approach just any girl in the club and get rejected. Im the same loser who would b presistent but would never get it. Im the same fuck up that  screwed up every opportunity or would leave it be. But I never regret what I did. Because maybe life wouldnt be as good right now if it wasnt cause of all that.

And damn Im glad im sharing the value at 12:20 am... im so fucked for tommorrow morning ;p Take care felow playas. Know that the game only goes the way u choose to ;)
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