Pimps of the world, I salute you!

So, here's the scenario. You walk around the club on your casual night out and you see this:


Heart starts pumping quickly, knees feel weaker, hands getting sweaty, we all know the feeling. So many people experience approach anxiety it's not even funny. This is definitely something you need to take care of, on your way to being the ultimate player of the world. How do we take care of it then? Well, I'm glad you asked.

1. Understand it

How can you deal with something, if you don't know what it is, if you don't understand why it happens and where it comes from?

Well, the simple explaination is, approach anxiety really comes from way back, when people used to live in tribes, hunt for food and struggle for survival. Back then, getting kicked out of the tribe meant certain death, nobody could make it on their own. So whenever you were to approach a girl meant "challenging" the tribe's alpha male and risk getting kicked out of the tribe, or actually killed by the alpha dude. So your brain developed these "defences" that basically prevent you from approaching the girl you liked.


Of course, there is no way this kind of thing can happen nowadays. You yourself know that nobody will do you harm for approaching a girl, not even her boyfriend, even if he is standing right next to her (believe me, I've done this before). Plus, there are no such things as tribes now, even if you get thrown out of the city you live in (which is so ridiculously unlikely) you can travel to another city without any problems! So approach and show your mind that YOU are the alpha male and no hairy caveman is going to kill you.

2. See the Bigger Picture

Remember, you are on your way to becoming the biggest pimp on earth! Is a mere approach anxiety going to get in the way of that? Realize, EVERY SINGLE approach you do, no matter what, you get a reference experience, which brings you closer to your goal. Even if you get rejected in the meanest of ways, guess what? Give yourself a fist bump[=rgb(65, 105, 225)][/], you are one step closer to accomplishing your goal!


Also, approach anxiety is something that is "cured" over time. Give your brain enough evidence that nothing bad will happen and ultimately you will feel less and less approach anxiety. That's the goal.

3. Burn the Boats

A good way to defeat the paralyzing feeling of approach anxiety is to give yourself leverage to do it. Something I do with my wings to overcome fear of approaching in a club is the thirty-second game. Punch your friend on the shoulder if he doesn't approach in 30 seconds and get him to do the same thing to you. You could also try giving him money and telling him to keep it if you don't approach. Any kind of leverage to get you to actually go for it is very helpful.

4. Canned Opener

Many times, we experience approach anxiety because we can't come up with something good to say. This frustrates us but also gives us another excuse not to approach. A very good solution to that is to decide beforehand on a specific opener, a line to start the conversation with, so that we don't stop, stare and drool helplessly all over the place when we see an attractive woman. The most common canned opener I use is *tap tap* "Hey! *pause* Who are you?".


The key to this is to know that the canned opener actually works. This gives you 3 benefits:
a) You will stop wondering about what the best thing to say is.
b) You are going to be more confident in your approach. You will avoid hopelessly blabbering, trying to say something that hits (I used to experience this a lot) teeth
c) You won't care so much if you get rejected, because you are certain that your opener works.

5. Lower your Critera for Success

A really common reason for approach anxiety is fear of rejection. Getting rejected is something nobody likes so everyone tries to avoid it. Whenever you are considering approaching a girl, you are afraid that you might "fail" or "succeed" based on the girl's response. Either she likes you and you WIN or she doesn't like you and you LOSE.

What if you changed the criteria of success based on your actions? Either you approach and you WIN or you don't approach and you LOSE. This way, there's nothing the girl can do to make you feel bad because you have already succeeded! How liberating is that?

6. Minimize Reaction Time

When they see a girl they like, most guys try to think of exactly how the interaction is going to go before approaching. They try to plan everything and consider all the lines they will use and the girl's responses. This is not what players do! 

Ultimately you want to develop the trust in yourself, that you are enough and that you can get the girl you like, not because of some lines you thought of, but solely because you are you. So, as soon as you see a girl you like, NOT A SECOND LATER, start walking, get close to her, open your mouth and start talking.

7. Take Right Action

As mentioned before, nothing you can think of in that moment can help you defeat approach anxiety. In the end you will have to decide that you are going to do this, shut the f@#k up and get on with it. Tyler said it best in one of his videos:

I hope this article helped you change your perspective on approach anxiety. Many thanks to the RSD instructors for their ideas!
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Junior Member

Join Date: 01/20/2014 | Posts: 14

I will admit that even after watching so many videos on approach anxiety, i still cant approach on my own.
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Dr. Hulk Pixel

Dr. Hulk Pixel

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/25/2014 | Posts: 458

Me too..

It's somehow easier to go with a wing..

BUT the thing is i dont have approach anxiety anymore, cause i had couple really fucking painfull experiences so i know nothing worse can happen..I just cant make myself make that first step..
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Junior Member

Join Date: 07/03/2015 | Posts: 3

I would go with "Burn the boats" because it's the only thing that really works.
You can read thousands of books, watch thousands of videos and go to hundreds of seminars but if you don't hit the pavement at least hundred times you will never ever going learn to approach a woman and If you don't hit the pavement at least 1000 times you'll never make it a habit.  What's bad about it is that if you quit doing it for a week you'll return to where you started. 
I used Approachmachine com and risked my $500 to approach 70woman in a week and continued on day by day to make it 1000. I don't count anymore because it's a sport for me, I do it every day even I have a girlfriend because I know what will happen if I stop.

Tyler and other guys are great and they do create valuable content but you won't ever be able to use them without you learning that content from your own mistakes by doing it hundreds of times - alone!

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Junior Member

Join Date: 08/11/2015 | Posts: 11

Yesterday you said tomorrow,
Don't let your wildest (wettest) dreams be dreams...


Lol really though, doing it many times will desensitise you and let you relax under any situations.
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