If you’re anything like most people, then you have no problems having a great conversation once you’ve been introduced to someone. But maybe you’ve just arrived at a party, or you see an adorable girl just walking ahead of you in the park. What’s a good way to get a conversation started in that case? Here are 10 good conversational starters that you can use in some different situations. At a Party or Networking Event 1. Hi, I’m [your name]. You guys look like you’re having fun.
This one works best when delivered to 1 or 2 people in a conversational ring, simply by touching them lightly on the shoulder to get their attention. Try to match the energy level of the group, if not slightly above it. So if they’re all smiling and laughing, then make sure to try and say this with a bright smile and a laugh. If they look very somber and awkward, then even a quick smile will help lighten their mood. 2. So how do you all know each other?
Once the attention is already on you, this is an ideal follow up question. Oftentimes the answers will be something like “from school” or “from work” or even “we grew up together”. You can use these answers to find out more about them such as where they’re from and what kind of background they have, without having to ask too many open ended questions. 3. How’s the food/drinks here?
Ideally, you would want to try and ask this to someone who’s holding some food or drinks, but that’s not even required. You can compare the catered food at the event to other events, or complain about how drinks are expensive. (People bond better over complaining over things, but make sure not to overdo it). Out in the Daytime 4. Hey, I like your shoes/jacket.
If you walk around and observe carefully, anyone who puts attention into their outfit is usually very conscious about it, and they almost always want to be noticed. This compliment works ESPECIALLY well if you can sum up their outfit in a unique way. I’ve compared girls working in retail to pirates, and a medical student to a yoga instructor painter. Injecting some silly humor in it will draw out a laugh, and you’ll get an instant spike of attraction too. 5. HEY! This is random, but you’re completely adorable so I had to come meet you.
An important part of this conversation starter is that you don’t apologize or say excuse me. By starting out with an apology, you’re basically inviting the person you’re talking to to leave the conversation. By instead acknowledging that it’s random, you’re admitting that this doesn’t fit into normal social norms, but that you don’t need to pay attention to that. 6. Hey, haven’t I met you before?
A lot of the times when you haven’t had much experience talking to people you don’t know, you’ll find that there’s a sincere vibe that people have when they’ve met each other before. This familiarity is a great thing to practice. If you’re in a college/university setting, this works especially well because you can ask them what major they’re studying, and if maybe you’ve met them in a class before. You can then transition to whatever topic you want. 7. hey do you happen to know the way to the nearest coffee shop?
Coffee shops are universally loved and adored, it’s not a big deal to look for them. Just by doing this often enough, you’ll learn to see what kind of first impression you give people. Of course, you’ll get a lot more learning experience if you actually push the interaction further, so get on doing that! Ex: “Actually, I just wanted to talk to you, hi I’m “your name” what’s our name?” In High School/College/University 8. Hey, I’m starting a band and I think you should be our lead singer. Are you in?
I did many variants of this when I was still in school. This is a great way to get into some light role playing “we could tour all across Europe and I’d have to hold your hair as you threw up in bar toilets” as well as some cold reading “Really? Are you sure? You totally seem like the musical punk adventurous type.”
Obviously at some point you’ll want to straighten out the facts, and clarify that you’re not in a band, and just wanted the chance to talk to them. 9. Hey is this seat taken?
In a library or a study area, you can often use this to just start out the conversation, and establish that you’re ok to talk to. If they don’t look too busy, or too engaged in their work, you can often then ask them what they’re working on. “Hey that looks interesting, what are you working on?” 10. Hey you look like a cool kid. What should I be doing this weekend?
This is a great way to find out what kind of parties are happening on your campus for the weekend. They’ll be flattered that you think they look social and popular, and will want to recommend a party that they’re going to that weekend. If you play your cards right, they could even end up as your date for that party. Let me know in the comments how these work out for you, or if you know similarly good conversation starters!