barmackman!'s Blog

After watching Tyler's Vlog it was like having all my pickup questions about progress answered all at once. I always knew that instead of asking for advice all the time, actually going out and doing intense analyzing after would help me progress, but I was never consistent because I couldn't see results automatically. or I would not notice the subtleness of my progress (i.e. feeling a little bit better about myself, smiling more, being more assertive) and just quit when I found a girl that I really liked. As i've said in my first blog post this led to me not having very much success even though I have been doing this a long time. Ozzie's recommendation of the book Mastery helped me realize that this was bad and I was just being one of the three archtypes the author talkes about. Mostly I was the dabbler. I would get in for a while, mess around and then stop. Even TYler's artice implementing a habit helped me realize that being consistent is what would give me what I wanted, but I never followed through for very long and the uncertainty of it all made me claw back for the comfort of not progressing. I know it's a drive issue, but I also feel like it was a "am I really getting good or am I regressing backwards" issue. I don't know how to really explain it, but I just couldn't see myself as that guy who is doing well and always figured that I wasn't.

After watching Tyler's vlog and rereading some notes on the Blueprint, I think this was a success barrier in my mind. Sort of like my post on my pickup ego. Even though I knew cold approaching would give me what I want, even though I read it from multiple people who have been through what I have been through, and even after watching Transformations and listening to each Instructors story of chodeness to glory, I just couldn't piece it into my reality that, that could be me. Out of all my sticking points and limiting beliefs I really believe this is the one that held me back the most. I see now that my progress from chode to chode light to dude with a wiff of chode was a slow, but gradual one. I am lucky right now that I still have my old habits ingrained in me and restarting again isn't a big deal. It is the consistent going out that is the problem. After watching the vlog I really feel like I can whup my limiting beleif now and actually make some progress. I know it is about the process and not always looking for results, and being in the now no matter how directionless I feel, but to really have that ingrained in me I have to actually do it and stop talking about it. Later.
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