BangoTango's Blog

Geez how long it seems i have been gaming. Learning about Tyler and RSD shortly after the release of the blueprint in what i believe was early 2011 or late 2010, it seems that i have been somewhat of a Hard Case.

I dont contribute my lack of ideal progress in the game as anything more relevant than how well i've done in college, or how well off i stand financially, or my performance in the military. All are bottom level mediocre.

So at that i can only concieve that as i progress in financial, educational, military, and physical discipline, then my results in the field will be better as well.

One could only assume.

The thought that i have been working with lately is that Short-term gratification's opposite is short-term discomfort, and longterm-fulfillments opposite is longterm dissapointment.
Weighing up all four of these interchangeable variables i would choose if i could to have

1,Longterm (longlasting) fulfillment
2.Short-term gratification
3.Short-term discomfort
4.Longterm (longlasting) dissatisfaction,

If you read this carefully there is a paradox because how often does short-term gratification become the most delicious meal on your daily plate. Quite often for me. It shadows your desire for longterm fulfillment which in my case can only be created by short-term discomfort.
Yet ultimately i will not stand for the 4th option. So no matter how discomforting my life must be, the pain of failing to work towards my long term goals will literally kill my soul, which at this point is not a possible option.

1 and 3 will always be higher priority than 2 and 4. And many books tell to focus on higher priority. So irregardless of emotions the order of operations must be 1,3,2, with 4 as just an idea in your mind.

Fuck short term gradification, it is useless to the future. Sit up Strong in your Seat,

Dont be lazy

I've had enough experience with this issue in my life up to now, and i would like to instill some different habits into my life to facilitate a better version of how i do things. So when i go out ill be writing up field reports. I usually record them which if possible i will put into here, not vlogs but audio, i do believe i interpret my references like a good young student of game.

But overall. I have to step up in some areas of my life. A few priorites i have is to get a pistol permit and do guard training, become a Marine MCMAP green belt/instructor, eliminate police debt, and primarily continue major tasks of learning  mathematics, robotics, and computer programming

And perhaps this could be the beginning of a miniature blog experience for myself, because in the future i would like to properly communicate, and possibly mentor others/close relatives, in reality anyone who i can offer value to i wouldnt be against making that happen.
But of course im choosing to make income in electronics
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I dont see why RSD cant put themselves into the mainstream light a little bit here and have the opinions of many (most hopefully higher ups) swayed. If these few people at the top were moved to watch oh idk...more than one rsd video then i think as successful men they would get it, and Julien would be taking less heat and he wouldnt get banned from planet earth. I think there should be some form of backlash, im sure people want to talk to Julien. Im sure there could be a negotiation where julian doesnt take heat and is allowed to speak.

What pisses me off the most is the shallowness of all these motherfuckers. Like they know him or something. They watched one video and some clips. HELLOOOO, you dumb motherfuckers his youtube account is expansive. If you really want to ban a man from a country shouldnt there be an investication not a "short sighted emotional responce"

bunch of dumb muthafucking pussies if you ask me

Plan 1: Talk to the most important person you can and show them RSD videos
5 Comments | 904 Views
Crying as im eating this el nino burrito and this beef jerky, as if the 1 lb of beef buritto wasnt enough meat.. 

sadness. it permeates my soul

a few processes im experimenting with to pull me out of my emotional hell is

1) Thinking there is no reason why i am not enough as soon as i get a useless thought/emotional response.

THE COMMON DENOMINATOR TO EVERYTHING THAT I DO (thanks mike, lol drunk times, asian girls, near vomiting, fights with strangers)

This works in the moment, like when im having a chilled out day and then i get a sudden chode emotional response/thought.. 
I can say this and pretty quickly go back to being chilled out again and happy and calm

This is powerful and one of my most useful tools.
for instance just now i was in a short random convo with no purpose (similar to all conversations) annnnnnnd it got awkward in my reality and i felt that emotional rock of seriousness when the conversation was obviously super random.

BOOM, there is no reason why im not enough.
I use it as title for the upcomming reframes, there is no purpose , enjoy yourself, haha too many people to care, lol that was fun, so weird is socializing lmaoo, ahaha, ahahaha

this does NOT help me when im in a bad state and im crying over burritos like i am right now.

Today i allowed myself to essentially be spiritually unconscious for 12 hours and OMG has it created much mental turbulence for me. idk what it is but im confidant that when im not getting validation i freak out, when i eat foods that give me heartburn i become sad like this, i also got rejected by a couple girls.

 ... my pain .... 

is Temporary, because while i could expend the mental energy to analyze why im sad, my values and why i should feel good, i know im the prize, im this im that, and all these reframes

hebededede durpitiedurpdurp

I think im better of focusing on some of these processes

2) Freestyle rap

this past week my freestyling has been absolutely off of the chain, im talking emotional spike after emotional spike after emotional spike. Rhythms have been ONN PARRR and no judgment whatsoever. Im talking ive been doing so good that when i fuck up it literally just turns into an emotional spike, as if i were one step ahead of my emotional state at all times.

(notice how im not talking about the content of the spit. the bar is as low as saying "i run from the cops cuz my cat got dragged away, WHOOP WHOOP, there he goes! meow meow wtf was that!")

Funnily enough have also been killing it socially/emotionally. I have come to the conclusion that my rap and my game are related on some level, possibly very deeply

Rap helps me exercise my deliberate illogicality that is CRUCIAL to my happiness and my social skills im beginning to notice. I've lived in a way that I'm overly analytical and i will blow myself the fuck out because my intelligence is used against me in the game as im constantly looking for reasons why i am not enough, haha. IT IS ALL SUBCOMMUNICATIONS and the pillars that i habitually need to feel good are not based in that they are based in occurences. FUCK THAT. Rap helps anchor me in gangster mode and helps with drawing state from within. Rap helps with state control and rebounding from emotional highs and not losing your shit just cuz you said something amazing.

For thoes who listen to rap frequently, if you dont freestyle you should probably start.

But like i said im fucking dead, and you know what?

cant rap today either, im like wtf as i was rapping like an hour ago, the judgement was there, no enthusiasm. I diddnt even want to do it because there were essentially just emotional lows and im just like damn ... 

so anyways. The process i have decided to excersize it to freestyle rap when i am LITERALLY OUT OF STATE

because thats better than whining and complaining about your emotional health and trying hard to reframe when you can barely think straight. Im also confidant that it will accelerate the climb, out of the little sadness that has overcome my soul as of right now.

3.) The Breath

Yea thats right muthafuckas its eckhart tolle time. Today i did not do this and attempted to use my intelligence to find out a reason why i should be happy and as it was failing, essentially for 12 hours i have been just starting from scratch, starting from scratch.

well im learning something.

If after persay 30 minutes you still havent reframed some bullshit in your mind...stop fucking thinking about it because yourr feeding it by resisting it.

Fuck it. "im okay with being this way, right now"

I instantly feel at ease when i think that.
Get into your breath and dont think about the pain anymore man if your having trouble changing your mind to change your mood then change your mood to change your mind.

You do this by getting in touch with yourself (whip out the candles baby)
feel your vibe, feel your breath.
sometimes it feels bad to feel my breath, so i slow my breathing that usually helps. feel the inner body. Dont identify with thoughts as they are poison to your happiness

THERE IS NO LOGICAL REASON WHY YOU SHOULD BE UNHAPPY, and that is true. Therefore my thoughts are flawed, ignore them and yet...appreciate them as part of the eternal now ;)

when i can do that, my state jumps.

Aside from that I've learned something about myself and probably about human psychology recently,
and that is..

emotional control is subtle.

So subtle in fact that i want to write about it one day because it seems what im beginning to realize has a lot of potential in state control and my means of expression. But anywayz..

4) Find something funny/Dont judge yourself

This is from tylers process. i havent experimented much with this but i did do this a few times last week enough to write about and the responce was immediately more fun and lightness.

But i tried it alot today and only cried a litte, haha. Im gonna work with this more because if i can find an exercise for this (outside of going out) then im going to use it.

5.) Taking action

stop being a little girl, you have goals. take 3 conscious breaths, slap yourself in the face, drink some coffee, watch the 2 minute rsd video and take your life to the heavens!

Your wasting time pitter pattering in your little emotional sadness, take decisive action.

and someting else that correlates with the taking action would be the Bioenergetic excersizes emphasized by master Elliot Hulse, more work to do with that but it has alot of connection to the emotional subtleties that i mentioned earlier. Whatever, im going to experiment with all of these, keep pimping life and probably get back to another blog with experiences hopefully of me yanking myself out of these negative pits that i often fall into. Should be a fun ride indeed


Still sad.
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Beginning to realize reframes are important. Gonna focus on reframing as soon as i can for the upcomming months, cuz these bad perspectives suck. So just now im in school talking to coulpla girls..feel pretty stifled which is normal at the time of writing this. But i cant help but overanalyze the interaction and i place supreme value on one of the girls and i get a super negative adrenaline spike when i notice myself pondering. So this is obviously scarsity and not abundance. You need to realize that just because shes asian doesnt me shes the only asian you can possibly hook up with :). Most of the people in the world are asian people and therefor asian women. There is a VAST ABUNDANCE off not only asian women, but women in general on this planet. I need to realize that the social aspect of school is nothing more than essentialy a training ground for what is to come in the future. I must develop the people skills of a peter keating lol. The centeredness of a Roark, and i am doing so by holding my frame and attending classes everyday, and taking action. That is all that is in my control. So when it comes to this scarsity you need to acknowlege it and be fine with that and realize that i do not care if i fuck up. I do not care if nobody likes me. I do not care if i am inept. I do not care if i am rejected socially by any of these people that i am surrounded by. I must embrace the challenge that is for me being social, and having some fun with it. Take things more lightly nothing is at all that serious this is one big joke. DO WHAT YOU WANT. There is an abundance of women, an abundance of opportunity to surround yourself with awesome people. Your pickup failures simply make you better. every failure paves way for an opportunity to learn something significant. I must triple my rate of failure, i must become an absolute animal for my goals in life. Everything including my physical fitness and nutrition, knowledge, and finances. Combined with the social skill i am learning i need to shut the fuck up and chug along with my life, stop being such a soft ass trying to get everyone to like him, and act and think through my own intentions. CUT THE CRAP and STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF. MAKE IT HAPPEN. SHUT THE FUCK UP. TAKE THE STEPS NECESSARY TO LIFE THE LIFE YOU WANT.
get up after you fall...turn the entire process into something gracefull. love the fuckups, love your retardation and incompetence and the GUARANTEEED failings at what it is your trying to do. Accept the fact that you have to become a MAN of INDEPENDANT THOUGHT. throw all that chode shit aside and move forward it makes no sence to relish on the nonsence that is conditioned in your consciousness. 
As long as your life is moving forward...dont react to what it appears people think of you. its irrelevant. your evolving
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Hey, just returned from some military training and it's been around 2 months since I have had any sexual activity.
Looking for a wingman ASAP I'll be here for a week.
Text 7165456395
0 Comments | 1,724 Views
interesting things have been occurring in my brain, one of them being the stimulation of getting a mega kill in dota 2, some other things are backwards rationalizations and really cool and peacefull mental state.

combine the 3?

your a chode as bitch

im as happy as i can be, i dont really feel that dissatisfied emotion much at all, and when im talking to girls or people lately, if i find myself slipping into the old role of outcome dependence i just cut it.

i will not sacrifice the monopolized state....

the result tho is me scumming exam week and not preparing for anything, not working out, not writing jokes like i promised myself, not rapping.

ive basically slipped into a role of owens classic truth about success video where you become addicted to the chilled out state


but it ends tonight...(maybe)(i talk alot of shit)

tomorrow starts the beginning of winter break...i doubt i got a 2.4 this semester in college. failure to take right action..
the content is not hard, failure to take right action

what is right action?

who cares...but ive set a regimented way of life for myself with the goal for sometime in the future to make it to a specific place.

i dont know where that place is....i have no vision and when i do take action i take it blindly.

my ras doesnt give a fuck anymore


you can call it short term mating strategy i guess. part of me just wants to stop and live that GOOOD life of low effort since there is no point to any of this at all....feel me.

im starting to realize all my dreams and goals were ego based (oh no the pickup noobie has seen too much content)

im losing the ego

its an irreversable process at this point nobodys gonna change that

ive read eckhart tolle going on 4 times.

im learning that 90% of my wants and desires in life were to be that much beter than the next guy,

but in the meantime identify with everything thats going on in my life....and it felt real serious and i cared so much

fuck it,,,

i am here, i am now, i am enough

so how do you motivate an egoless person.

tell yourself your doing it for the good of other peoples subjective realities??!?!?

sounds cool

but then your just gonna identify with being someone who is helping peoples lives and that wont fly.

the ego drives me no more

so what the fuck.

just dont do shit with your life?

just let it be all cool?


im taking massive action i will become a fighter pilot in the united states marine corps i will become a biochemist i will become hilariously funny i will become and "amazing" (stimulating) person to be around i will be a rapper i will be a rugby stud ect...


idk....but i made the decision to pursue these things so its just gonna happen at this point.

so tonight is done playing games. im at least 51% committed to doing whatever the fuck it is i said i was gonna do with my life, and im going to stick to it, regardless of my molopolized state.

[=rgb(47, 79, 79)](who knows, maybe one day ill have intertwined the two...)[/]

but for the moment i dont care that i dont know what i want...or why to even get out of bed in the morning

i dont give a fuck. action is being taken

massive action is being taken...

for reasons ill probably write down later

cuz right now...i just dont know

lets see what happens, until next time
0 Comments | 342 Views
 Went to pregame party. 

2 hours later went to bar.

approached girl who wasnt into me

approached girl who was into me but i was not

approached girl who i was more into. reapproached with kino and she accepted it intially (hug)

lost interest

opened black girl with vocal tonality...first



approached girl sitting

diddnt like me from the getgo

attempted plow with metaphor

no eye contact and a polite no

left bar/club

dropped off wingman

went to pub

lots of people

approached brunette


no escalation





2 set

threatened by dude

walked away

stood there for rest of the night battling inner demons

grabbed buddy went home

0 Comments | 248 Views
When to the strip.

Went through a few clubs and diddnt hit it up

It's actualy less of a fear and more of a hesitation towards altering your behavior I've noticed

which is like...fear


Hit it up or alchohol

I chose alchohol

I sat at this bar for like an hour chugging this fishbowl drink while their are two of the hottest girls right there sitting next to me.
And omg so Many chicks were diggin my swag I got tons of approach invitations
it was a beautiful sight

My boy rapped on the stage it was so fucking cool. i recorded it. The dude was a champion on the stage I now want to do that.

Practiced some infield audio footage

I don't thInk it worked.

Went to the car with the intent to leave and turned back....I was ready to do some game.

First approach was a black girl who I came off too much for. Chatted for two seconds, Diddnt like me. Went to the friend and chatted. Not interested so I left the club.

DONT you really need to try for these girls. for what reasons should you ever be trying...if the girl is an angel..none of these girls are angles and its likely you wont find anything interesting about them other than their looks so stop fucking caring this shit is not important.

Next was curtie puerto rican dancing girl I went up on her and we danced.

she wanted me to lead her but i diddnt
earlier approaches...ill get there hunny but she diddnt like that.
she spun me lol...
i spun her
she left.
diddnt hook i coulda been more of a influence/leader

Started talking to this girl who was siting on two stools. Chillin.
diddnt wanna talk....plowed
i swear im gonna stop plowing....not my intention its the pickup communities intention.

like ill plow if the girl is giggling or if i like her...but when the chicks just like, im better than you...

suck a dick you dumb whore

this is not about getting girls

Next girl were these two girls dancing in a corner.

I went up knowing I had to get their attention so I went up waving my hands.

lol it worked

They were beautiful.

It was all good I engaged them they engaged me

we danced (i cant dance)

At a point she's like "go on the stage!!

full fun right?

I was stifled and was like no basically.

I prolly shoulda. I think I actually rationalized that I'd be qualifying myself to her BUT go on the fucking stage an unstifle Jeff ...and to fix the qualification thing. Take her the fuck up there with you!

How many attractive qualifies does tht assume.

Attraction. This happens all the time I get girls. Leadership. Dominance. Confidence.
And eventually maybe a little fun.

But I Diddnt I stood there and they then said this is our bubble annnnd I left.

i totally understand why they gave me the boot....lets be real yo ;D

Tapped a girl who was with her man to see what would happen...she looked and looked away.

This isn't the Olympics...this shit is fun.

Approached a 2 set outside the bar with hi I'm shy. she diddnt like all

i attempted to plow but i mean....i diddnt even want to the chick was just a fucking whore

approached 3 set with im shy, they were more responsive, dropped id had to pick it up it took like 10 seconds lol

so funny.

chatted and chatted....never got in a super good mood cuz i forgot all the bullshit i learn.

own intentions jeff?

from a game perspective i shoulda just stole the hot bitch. buuuuuuuuuuuuut no

kinda stood there half conversating half not knowing what to do...


fuck it

they left

i reapproached the hottie and she was diggin it but i diddnt claim her so she turned around...sorry gal. went to the bathroom

complimented some black girls

went up to this black girl dancing...danced some...claimed her...started to chat...she did not stop dancing.


i did not do this and this was the most stressfull set of the night lmaoo

we danced....we danced....and we danced....we danced....i qualified myself lol....danced...danced....


this wasnt even grinding im talking face to face. close away...this girl was gettin it.

her name was capris

lmao like the pants

she was a very cute black girl

i felt like such a chode not taking her from her friends

we danced for 20 minutes...then she had to dip.

these bathrooms are seriously layed out for you to fuck girls in them...guys b room is fucking gross tho, i will never do that. :l

she lead and was alpha.....I LET HER

next time just be the champion and sit her down. the couch was right there and then be centered.

also stop trying to conversate keep forgetting that shit lol


went up to this club and these two puerto rican dudes were like fighitng...approached girl....she was a gangster ass so i stopped talking to her.

hit up these two cute cute puerto rican girls tho and shes just like you should stop hitting on i plowwed she wasnt a bitch
just resistance
but i mean her dude was right there.
she eventually went to him.

last set of night was two puerto rican girls...i went up and diddnt try...cuz i am enough.
the drunk girls like no no no....she was on the phone.
then i transitioned to the friend who hadnt said no to me...
i just chatted
and she chatted back...
it was fucking beautiful
her boyfriend was like a gangster tho and i was like does he have guns cuz then ill leave

she said dont say that!

no what does this me....this niggas gonna kill me.

or she wanted love and affection.

before the boy came up im like your beautiful...she liked my dimples
she says im really smart.
i felt indifferent.
exchanged a good amount of compliments...physicality was the next step.

boyfriend came up

but it was cool the bf came up and i was icy after a night of rejections lmaoo.
slapped him up was nice.
he was there for a minute...this girls ras was on me.
she kept saying oh this is my friend from high school...awesome...DRAMA?

we continued chatting. shes like its so wierd you work with so and so from high school

like full in the roleplay

thats as intense as it got tho. she lied to her man
i played along. the mofo wouldnt damn ya know. that dude was iced there
eventually he was like okay lets go and she breaks the pull ya know...
shes like ill be right there

i think i attempted physicality here...we continued..
i told her i wanted to take her on a date
we went to exchange numbers and as im getting hers the boyfriend pulls her away.

her "man" her these people were gangsters

but his girl was cute

diddnt get the number...oh well ;D

a day in the life of Jeff Glavin

hesitation confusion and action...gotta love it lmaooo

ima try to chill out.


relax. dont consider approaches crossing a bridge view it as more of an expression.
hug a girl and leave
say hi to a girl and look around
kiss on the cheek and pokes on the noses and slapps on the ass.
just be expressive dont think once you approach there must be a sequence of steps you must take to get to the end goal...their is no goal other than being awesome
so be awesome bro....yeaaahhh
just be cool....cross the indifference threshold...the world is your playground

good night....

tonight will be there will be girls in the vicinity.

im interested in how this is gonna play out.

but i ultimately dont care

such a gangster :D
1 Comments | 292 Views
House party. Don't what to share the full story but Im obligated to list learning experiences and behaviors.
Opened 2 girls on the way inside. (goal to get out of my head)
Set Diddnt last coulda been more engaging.
Walked in with friend who does not party. Chilled. Got to party early their we're like 4 girls.
Unfortunately hesitated which I shouldn't have, stood next to girls then opened after 30 secs.
Not ideal. Weak open. But I did it regardless. Still it was reactive I want to be more the man
Stuck in head "which is why I shoulda just hit it up with my buddy, and started having fun".
He's not te hit it up type, I get a lot of resistance comming from him. The type that's totaly against the grain with me. It's just our different conditionings. Not to be an ass but I hope he bends and comes more into my reality...I think it would be beneficial.
I'm not gonna try tho. 0% success when I do that

Chilled for awhile and chatted.
No reason why I am not enough, nbd
Focused on monopolizing my state and pumping the bubble of emotions, starting with myself.
So a while later people start to show up.

I will now go into the sporadic approahes and situations related. Highly unorganized likely due to the fact most of them were rejections :)

Girl at bar was tall..started talking...i was probably a bitch....conversation died. Talked to girl I was walking by on stairs, grabbed her and spun her around, she's like woooooah, I was just moving her out of the way cuz i had to pee,i started slowing down cuz she engaged me half pissed off/interested (she digged the communicated status) then my friends like no!, outside! And I'm like yeah yeah yeah, she's cute tho sorta. She responded to this
Def coulda re-entered the set. She was all over the swag.

Saw girls standing outside, Diddnt approach
Cute too

Started chatting to cutie in red hat. She chatted. Blah blah blah blah blah...ii let the verbals handle themselves. Prolly Diddnt communicate enough ENOUGHNESS, BEASTMODE, VALUE - to her!!!
She went to fill her cup. She Diddnt reject me I just fell out of her ras...isn't that what most rejections are.
Approached girl that I remember saying something to by grabbing her had. She said to me tho this time, blah blah blah blah I want a drink!
So I say follow me nonchalant as I walk by and grab her hand.
She's with a guy and she resists and looks at him like I'm some sort of wierdo.
I let go and continue.
Here I may have communicated that I knew and Diddnt care that she didn't come, kinda like a chode version of te indifference threshold where you just suck shit and you have no belief or positive assumptions.
Basically a low value not abundant with girls reality.
So instea of just walking away next time something like that happens Ill just stop an be
Like super confused because I anticipate she come.
And if she says no.. I'm not a chode I just kinda thought shed come...okay, goodbye homie.
Lol beast mode
Opend group in a corner with are you guys selling drugs?
The one girl bit and I Vibed with the group as long as I felt totally cool about it and I just looked away like full could say I shoulda stayed in set...and truth is I shoulda. But then again my intention was momentum (these approaches Aernt in order, at all) so w.e
I'm not gonna try so hard.
Open girl on the flo, it opened fine but I said some dumb shot and made her walk off...a lot of these sort of fuck ups are just from being stifled trying to act unstifled. Then I gave her the hand of god and she reacted funny.
Really I wanna start approaching 10x as much cuz I miss most of the really INTIMIDATING SETS usually, not gonna lie it's hard at this point I hit thoes girls up as they dance with their friends, noted.
Opened asian girl with Nike similar o mine, I touched her face, accepted, told her she was cute or something and either she left or I let her go. Diddnt rapprochement later on when I saw her

Approach girl saying hey I'm black, she looked like Brandi the singer and I was cool with that.
She was smily. Def was fully myself here. Set ended in her like having to leave.

I think the girls leave a lot (even on good notes) cuz YEAH IM AROUSING, but I'm not fully unstifled so they will get attracted and be like he's hot buuut theirs people more unstifled than I so her ras goes there. When if was just more like a mutherfucking MAH DEUCE! (figuratively speaking) the girls would stay longer. Plus maybe she's more "comfortable with her friends".
So she walks away smiling.
Btw I am kinoing all these girls. First set of girls called me out on my high five awkwardness and kinda dominated the frame actually, then lost interest, prolly gave off cues as to I'm not congruent with the high five, which is true a handshake woulda been more normal, anyways.
Girl chillin next to bar i just say random shot to. Get my waffle on. Like wht are you drinking. I was pretty open. She was pretty open. We talked for a bit then the Friends like who is that guy do you know him! From across te bar, this shut me down fast as my girl started talking to her friends.
Tonight I learned that it is hugely important to interact with the interruptive friends regardless of their intentions you gotta maintain your seat as te influencer in the interaction. Awesome learning exp.

Saw the hat girl again for real quick and was introduced to a friend. It was all good. Ends in a good note again, idk why but it seems I have a lot of impatience with myself and other people when interacting with them, I'm sure this will be handled in no time really just massive action and application of Alex's 4x/ 10 hour rule.
Kinos a bit off. Saying by to leave I'm like blah blah blah blah (blah = positive conversation vibe) French kiss. She's like no no! I'm assuming she was thinking the American French kiss.
I kissed her cheeks and left. She seemed not to hate me doing it so much, I was 50/50 on why he thought of it...but regardless.
My intentions..positive.

Saw blondie and it was all good then something happened after a min where I asked her why she was at the beer pong table she's like that's my boyfriend...I look over, he's looking at me, he slaps me up, I'm like I'd be more interested in u bro! He's like nah prolly won't happen
Then i say to the girl "i was so gonna hit on you"
Prolly shoulda tried anyway just to see what happend.
Walked away

Beauty is too common to make it noteworthy. Only important when it applies to the consistency and Kick to your approach which should be no more different than u were on a fat girl, only difference is the cute girls make you horny. I seriously get as nervous aoproaching a fatty as I do a beauty, the hardest approach for me tho are the ones where the ppl are just having fun. So hard lol

Hugged Asian girl walking by and kept going, she reacted the same way she thought I was gonna approach her but nahhhhhh.
I could feel she woulda walked away If I stayed. To remedy this I would attempt julien and Tyler's EH!
Like over EVERYTHING LOUD AND BELLIGERANT AS FUCK. Have everybody looking then........

Hand of god

Saw black girl with dude. Almost Diddnt say hi not gonna lie I was choding! Mind had me halfway out the door metaphorically speaking then I reached out with hey...are you African American. Then I asked if that was her dude. She says no and i committed. Lol prolly woulda anyways
we chat for a couple minutes about bullshit and the dude leaves.
As I'm talking to her I see the hat girl (this is a third time) and this times she's in a nice fur coat.
I pull her in and she is so warm and fuzzy so I keep her forever. Friend starts talking to her lol. Guy starts talking to her, I was beasting it tho. i told the black girl I knew her from before, she Diddnt care she walked away.
So I'm hugging the girl and she obvs leaving so I had to let her go.

Walked up to the black girl again good response.
Came back later on and tapped her after quizzing my friend on what was gonna happen.
As I'm leaning on the wall She's like........ Giving me the kinda interested DONT BE A LOOK.
Strong eye contact reciprocated. I offered her my hand and she placed it and i squeezed to pull her im and she pulls back. My kino is off. She slaps my hand cuz I tease her then my friend slapped mine...then back and forth then we slapped his then we slapped hers. She's like
Diddnt last the table started having more fun than me and him and we just died away, she kept looking back tho as he and I discussed eckhart tolle concepts.

Their was definitely a lack of momentum here, results would've changed if I were simply hitting it up.

Chilled on wall.
This was prolly the best set of the night for subjective reasons only.
Chillin on wall with friend idk some girl I complimented and started to talk to
Words were exchanged. Def charged in the way I like from a girl.
Don't remember specifics....basically just abundance mentality, self amused, and engaging which of course incorporated a full range if emotions...
Less eye contact really...had some of her drink.
Also soo funny idk what brought it up but I mocked her jewelry. im like "blh blah blh conversation starter"
Then I teased her and acted as a guy who was hitting on her or a guy comming on too strong and I'm like "guys walk up to you". "wow nice necklace, dam girl u are so fine blah blah blah blah I want you noww girl I wanna fuck you right now. Had this sinister look on my face. I actuall felt like i wanted her. Like a method actor, it felt great. I laughed to myself.
she's like I could tell you get alot of girls,you get a lot of girls.
I'm like no I'm gay.

I'm finding that I use this line alot and it is not serving me at all whatsoever except after intense physical contact, so I'm dropping it. It just seems to not be too effective. In this case I'll instead say "no I'm totally friendly and hug the girl or/and go for a kiss on the cheek. girl said the same thing last night.
Or I'll say ya. Anyways!
Or just look at her.............and see what happens...
Seriously only say it after you've made out and been all up over the girl.

Regardles of the your not gay response and my yes i am type response (i think i may have corrected and told the truth) we keep vibing and at a point she's like I'm done with you and steps away and comes back. Obvs she's digging the rsd style vibe and I even am like fine go at a point she steps back like 4 feet and comes back. I was being arousing and she was all about it...then I became physical.
I thought she was all bout it and I pulled her into me and go for the kissssss!
She gives me the palm to the chest.
From her it like dies as she got sealed up by picture taking (that I should have mogged)
As they were in my vicinity.

See Brandi girl again and she was INTERESSSTED. She sees me walking by shes like "blahhhhhhhgg" all reactive and shit.
I'm like heyyy or w.e, the intent was there. I was like, Brandi girl! I grabbed we hand as shes tryin to talk I'm like "if you put it down right like the way I want it in the club then maybe we could fall in love!"
She's really liking it. Her friends are right here too. We vibe some and I'm all goood. Plus I'm impatient so I kiss her lips and she's gives me the palm to neck/chin move.
I laugh, social conditioning I'm assuming plus the friends, or my game.
I laugh and just dip out. Gonna start staying in set tho cuz that's what champions do.

See girl all good. Last approach after stalling out for awhile. I just go up it took some willpower and she's like hey and receptive to my emotions and intent.
I believe if I was more in the intent side of the equation she woulda digged and and like went up on me but I communicated chillness and potential attractiveness. Started chatting. I think I tried physicality and that failed then I said some dumb shit. Then friends came in. Basically approached cool...but fucked it up internally.
I could've gotten any of these girls, its quite possible but this one I think prolly just needed a horny dude with congruent behavior/socially acceptable to a point. Own intentions.

So major learning experiences:
-high fives are gay, hugs are better
Be louder and more attention grabbing. MORE EH!! Off the opener.
Hand of god will eventually work.
Pausing before a girl is fully engaged with you is bad. Makes sence.
Keep going! Open all!
Reapproach up to 4 times.
Also be a leader more. Lean into your fears, tread uncharted waters. Go where the pain is.
Don't say dumb shit...don't run out of things to say.
Monopolize your emotions, centered within your own behavior.

Things u did well:
Wet out
Touched girls
Hugged girls
Kissed a girl
Made girls smile
I was happy the while night even now.
Focuses on the process not the outcome
I spoke loud tonight

This is all, thanks for not reading my blog
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(field report. I post these on rsdn my tag name is glavinbreath)

Figure Id send this one to you since you were the catalyst of it all
Night started out slow. Eventually started to hit a bit of a rhythm thanks to a friend. 
Once i got some momentum I was Hugging girls and walking away just not giving a fuck

Went on Emily who was a cutie pie. 22. Graduate student. Environmental science teaching intern at a local college.
this girl was qualified...
I had her in my arms in seconds.
it started an indirect opener but switched quickly due to what I hope to be some fucking calibration finally and the fact I was turned on by her life
We vibbed some, then we started making out.
This was more intense than yesterday.
She's like I think we're in the way. (basically giving me permission to lead to a wall, noted, I want to take initiative, but I mean I was fine where we were)

Beast mode

I pulled her to the wall and of course my back was to it. Yeah son

Now this happens to me like everytime I hug on a girl, they will lean bak and like perk their head up like a ostrich or something.
As a response I do a takeaway cuz I hate that shit
But I thiiiiiink, it's just social pressure. Girls do not wanna be seen as sluts. Plus her friends were there (one even came up asking if she needed to be saved)
So I'm just guessing, idk yet, that the slight leaning back is just due to the fact that 1. The girl just needs to warm up from there before its full ON, or 2. just anti defense. Whatever it is I hate it and I push them away for it.
And this time as I pushed she sutlely grabbed me and pulled herself back in every time. 
We had Super strong intense eye contact. LAZER as julien would say and as we're on the wall she's constantly goin for makeouts. She would stop me in mid sentence to kiss me.
Chat. Makeout. Bullshit chat. Makeout.
I initiated these kisses like 10% of the time. this (Emily) was into me.
The thing I took note on tho was I wasn't the dominant kisser and that's fiiiine, cuz we were tonguing for a half hour.
kissing is only learned through kissing so...w.e

anyways I started getting turned on as usual, grabbing her ass while we kissed.
I started rubbing her cute little place (She was wearing jeans so no finger), not even while kissing just during full on beast mode eye contact I started touching her snatch.

She responded with her tongue. 

As I'm rubbing on her and making out I just cut it im like, "this is getting pretty intense for a bar"
Then I told her I wanted her and put her hand on dick
She's like do you live close?

I say NO....

So we sat in that loop for a lil then her friends took her and she left.

Wtf...2 nights in a row. 

Logistics logistics logistics. 

I need the fucking van!!!
I need pulling logistics.

Funny thing is I got 2 wings who live by the club in nf and by Allentown where I was tonight, but they're ass bitches who would rather watch tv and sleep....*vomit

I'd do my car but I gotta clean it plus it's a coupe I don't even wanna imagine trying to have sex in in, plus finding a spot to park

So I got fucked once again by not having a wingman nooooooo! Lol

Shoulda got the Facebook and hit her up, but I'm workin on my freedom from outcome and I felt that if I asked in that moment that it would be comming from a place of neediness, fuck thattt so I Diddnt.
But afterwards I regretted it so from now on, just close. It ain't no big deal pussy.

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