The way forward is through focus!
In any moment I can be happy or sad.
It's my choice!
I can go enjoy something nice in my life,
or I can seek out some negativity.
Negativity is easy. If you want it you have it.
Lots of people stand by to help you decend down into that black hole.
Positivity on the other hand is just as easy.
It hides in plain sight. Behind all the negativity that you focus on.
At any moment it is your for the taking if you just let go of negativity.
Had to get that one off my chest.
This day has been very good on many levels.
I could go into the specifics, but I remember someone saying
that talking about things that happens to you, dissipates the meaning.
And right now that meaning is what is floating my boat even higher.
One idea from Antony Robbins that have been really helpful
to me lately.
You don't need many ideas to succeed.
What you need is ideas that you apply!
That is so true. I can sit all day and mull over videoes here at RSD.
However nothing happens unless,
I decide to go out and use ANY of them..
It doesn't matter whatidea I use as long as I go out and take action.
Anyway I think I will head out into the sun,
instead of hanging around my computer being a nerd. XD
So lately I've become more popular with people I know due to me becoming more positive.
I've noticed that stuff I've learned erlier, but not applied have a chance to come out.
I've worked on the visualization and made it more effective so that whatever stress and negativity
that hit me gets dissipated immediately.
I was at a party this weekend and it was really crancking. And I managed to have fun and enjoy myself
in an environment that I often become shut down and analytical in.
I'm able to see my bad habits more clearly now that I'm out of this haze of negativity and look forward to
working on turning them around.
Not much more to say right now.
I have to also say that the Alex / Tyler combo video was awsome.
Now I don't have to feel bad for taking the chill style, and maybe I can try out the active style from
a more balanced perspective.
So I've been on here infrequent.
Lately my life has taken a turn for the better in this area.
There are many reasons one of the most important is an NLP visualization technique that I
learned from a video of Richard Baldner last month.
It is basicaly eliminating old negative memories.
A friend of me who texted me to join him at a club this friday.
Old failure imagery from the place in question washed over me and I told him I wasn't sure
if I would go. Then I did the excercice and all the negative associations was gone.
I told him I would join him after all. =D
I've also gotten hold of Anthony Robbins Personal power series on my phone and I'm getting
major boost from that to take care of buisness.
The situation described in my last post didn't pan out, but I learned a lot from it by basically running as
far as I could with it and being frank with myself and others. Not trying to be a nice little chode that would be strung along forever because of attraction to some girl.
I was clear on what I wanted and managed to find out with minimal hassles what the deal was.
A first for me acctually. I usually end up in limbo tearing myself up over not getting the info or taking decicive action.
Not this time...
Not working out?
Now I look forward to going out on Friday and the fact that it took me 20 seconds to deassociate tons
of negative experiences. NLP ROCKS!!! ^_^
I've been away from this blog for a while now. 2 months to be exact.
In the real world I've dealt with approach anxiety.
I've dealt with my view of women both concious and unconcious.
My life is turned upside down in many areas. Stuff that I used to rely on are simply gone.
You meet yourself in the door when you realize how trapped you where by certain aspects of your life.
So why am I writing now?
On saturday I was invited out to a place I've not been to for quite a while.
While me and a friend was on the bus to go there a girl I had flirted with before I tok the bootcamp boarded.
We recaognized each other and she sat down and talked with us.
Turned out she was going to the same place we where.
While we where talking out of nowhere this guy appears and starts to game her.
I'm like FUCK!!!! In my head...
He somehow manages to get himself to sit down with us and even manages to invite himself to the place
we are headed.
I'm like FUUUUUUCK!!!!
I keep calm amazingly enough and talks to him and finds out his name.
But he soon starts to ignore my comments. So I think to myself.
Fuck this! I turn to hy friend and starts to talk about past adventures.
Creating a good vibe beween me and my bro while ignoring her and the party crasher.
When we get of the bus with our new "friend". She starts to engage me in conversation and it becomes clear
that she is very happy to see me.
AHA!!! So I chat her up while we walk for a bit, and in a lull in the convo where the guy tries to reinitiate. I immediately vibe with my buddy again like I don't care if the two of them turned away and walked away never to be seen again.
When we arrive I make sure to find the guy who invited me and vibe with him. The guy who latched onto us.
Is out of his element and she stops caring about him and joins our happy viby group.
A little later. The guy gets himself into trouble, not knowing the venue, he has trespassed into an only staff area
and not only that, but he gets in their face when challenged. They call the cops and throw him out.
The rest of the night I tease her about it being her fault, since she brought him.
She liked it and got very attracted to me. We had all sorts of fun and I ended with her phone number
and an understanding that we should definitely meet again.
The reason I write this is because it shifted my awareness. The guy who initially I tought would steal the girl
turned out to be an amazing resource that helped increase my chances of getting her.
What happened when he sat down was that I assosciated it to loss.
But in fact what I experienced was all in my head. And since I didn't act on my initial association that wanted me to become insecure I stayed upbeat happy and carefree. Not trying to hinder him and compete for
her attention turned out to be the edge I needed. He had no one else to relate to. By being rude to me he only had her and that fact made him needy by default.
Gee...the world has been tipped on it's head.
Now I'm the cool guy and my competition are the losers screwing up with the girl making me that more attractive. Later that night a dude was trying to game her with boring chode convo.
Should I be jealous? NOOOOO!
He is entertaining her so I don't have to. I could have fun with my buddy while she spins him around her little finger until she gets bored and wish that she was talking to me. Cause then she could giggle and have fun.
She had to leave early and even after hugging me goodbye she hovered around me until I got her phone number. She didn't want to leave until she was sure that we would meet again.
Now I have no idea how this will turn out.
However I do know that the experience of that night will change my take on this whole thing for the better.
Man this last week has been intense.
However I have managed to stay on track somewhat even though a lot of reference points are crumbling.
I've been reading a lot of psychology and have stumbled over several tools that have helped me
overcome the issues that have plagued me.
THe issue has to do with projecting into the future and not taking action
bacause I belive I know how things will end up.
That is of course a rather silly notion and it also robs me of much needed experience.
If I just did it I would have had the interaction and would have known for sure how it turned out.
So back to the tools.
I've found some Jungian and Freudian tools to deal with this.
Yesterday I applied them and successfully approached a girl I liked for conversation.
It turned out rather well and since I know I will meet her again I've made sure that
I will have many more time talking to this hottie.
Cause that is what I need, more time spent interacting with hotties.
Today I got myself to talk to another hottie that I was pretty sure would not manifet into anything
concrete in the future, but I applied the tools and interacted with her anyway.
It turned out that it was worse than I thought in terms of chances, since she is leaving tomorrow
But hey I racked up hottie time!
I like that term "hottie time".
I will make it my new goal to try to maximize my hottie time.
To not give any regard to how well the situation looks in a future perspective,
but just engage and take it for what it is. HOTTIE TIME!
If I spend more time around hot girls then good things will manifest by themself.
Since my problem has mostly been one of negative future projection more then anything.
Have a good evening! =D
So my idea of how often I wanted to go out approaching didn't work in reality,
Just a learning!
Now I understand that I need a more flexible system for getting out.
But I definitely need a system.
The problem was that when I carved it in stone I started to beat my self up every time
I had to reschedule. And in reality you have to reschedule because shit happens.
Sometimes you can't predict what will come up and throw your system of balance.
So I beat my self up more and more until my motivation got undermined and me and my system crashed.
So then I got thinking. I have found out that I need a flexible framework. That can be rescheduled if needed.
Cause my biggest sticking point is getting out there in the first place right now.
Once I'm out there with intent I usually meet the objective I've set.
I also have other sticking points when I'm out, but they are not as severe
as the first get out the door in the first place problem.
It is kinda weird thinking that I even had a set date for writing here.
Oh well you live you learn...
At least this site is keeping me honest, good or bad.
So I have gotten myself out for the third day on a row.
After the initial inertia subsided, I have noticed that I'm more brave and more efficient than
I remember being before.
That is great, since that means that my comfort zone has grown.
Anyway today I was waiting for the subway to carry me downtown to do my thing,
I was mulling over my excuses to myself to not go.
Like I have to much Math to do, I don't have time.
And it hit me that if I felt I had no time I should be more efficient so I didn't waste as much time
So instead of taking the subway downtown I just stayed right there around the subway station
and approached commuter girls.
In no time I was done and saved traveltime and being less hesitant, hesitation time.
I'm now an hour ahead of schedule.
My new schedule inspired by Tylers latest video.
I now have planned out every hour of the day on a weekly basis.
I need to go out and do my approaches 5 times a week.
Every day except wednesday and friday.
So the more efficiet I am the more time I have for other stuff.
I have decided that I only get to update this thing every monday, so I don't sit
too much in front of this computer.
Cause at this point I don't need more theory, only more practice.
Lots and lots of practice.
See you next week!
So I went on a day game walk.
It sucked in the sense that it had difficulty approaching the way I did earlier.
So I made it all about references in the area.
How can I utilize the environment to my advantage?
What options do I really have?
Where can I "be alone to reboot" if I need it? (So I don't bail out to go home)
What is easy to do for me and what is not?
What are my external pattern? (What do I end up doing in the real world)
What are my internal pattern? (What do I end up thinking about, visualizing etc)
Now I know that this isn't optimal.
Yesterday was all about getting started again...
I walked out that door!
I challenged my comfort zone in new ways.
I learned stuff about myself, others and my environment.
I could have stayed at home reading or watching some cartoon...
That would have been the easy way out.
This is day 2.
I will take my learnings and apply them.
Lets see what happens.
But first breakfast! :-)
I've decided to get back on track since I've seem to have gotten a handle on the emotional issues
that threw me for a loop time and time again.
Thanks Jung and Freud! :-)
Now where I was basically halted in my progress was in approaching several chicks in public
to work on approach anxiety.
It worked wonders on that btw.
I was experimenting with alternative openers when someone on this forum introduced me to another forum.
A bad place that threw me for a big time loop.
The negativity was incredible.
All in the name of burning the ego to a crisp.
For some higher cause of enlightenment or whatever.
Anyway I had a good system up and I was really making progress when that shit came along.
In hindsight it probably helped me getting that kind of bullshit thrown in my face.
However it was no fun, since the process I went trough was a bit maddening afterwards.
I will promptly get back on track using my very effective carrot approach that made me
approach over 100 girls in a very short time period.
Printing out stored schematics....
Where did I put it?...
Man I can't find it!...
I think what David D said in one of his videoes is very true.
When you find something that works it is very easy to NEVER do that agian. XD
Oh well here I am ready to do it again anyway!
I've beginning to accept the way girls are.
That they are wired differently and only care about perceived coolness.
It is hard, but I'm projecting less and less fairytale fantasies onto girls.
I still do it some, but they are more down to earth and not too much castles in the sky type of thing.
It seems to me that whatever I dream of it is the hollywood, soulmate, happy ever after cliche
it boils down to in the end.
When I'm in I don't care about that view mode, girls laugh nervously, smile and try to touch me.
When I'm in the other mode I get no loving and are shunned.
It should be a no brainer.
However out of habit some tale gets spun in my head sometime.
And off goes the girl... XD
It is really subtle sometimes, it starts with small ideas, and girls always lead you on.
If you say A they will say B, and soon you are down to T in chode ABC and the girl is long gone.
What I'm trying to say is that I start out with cool collected and confident.
Then things start to go really well, and some cue from the girl, a look, a tone of voice etc
triggers some program that starts to run inside me and soon everything I had in the cool and confident
department is dissipated.
It starts small with me projecting how things will go in the near future.
Then before I know it I've touched on all sorts of potential situations.
I've simulated every possible ending, and if I like how it played out in the hollywood version,
I start to try to go down that path.
I don't do it in a concious way, I just find myself there with a girl that is bored or already left.
I'm glad that I'm able to verbalize this problem in this way.
I need to be much more concious in this area from now.
Thx Tyler for your last vid!
It really got me to wake up on this whole issue, and see what components that are involved
in my world as I go down fairy tale lane.