Today I dedicated the whole day to day game. Actually this whole week is daygame!
I went out with the intention of approaching 20 girls.
20 girls in one day?! Am I on drugs???
I usually only force myself to one or two a day max!
But here I was on the street with a goal and intent!
I had my mp3player in my pocket for inspiration when times get though.
And a pretty good gameplan.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO RETURN HOME UNTIL 20 GIRLS ARE APPROACHED!!!
I went out around 11 am and didn't come home before 7 pm...
Did I mention the word exhausted?
I walked those streets up and down, up and down and UP AND DOWN...
Still getting the courage to approach every 24 minutes on average isn't that bad
when my usual average is once or twice a day!
The reality was, when the clock was 6 pm I was like FUCK THIS!!! Where are some hotties to approach I WANT TO GO HOME NOW!!!
And BAM, BAM, BAM 5 sets in a row!
Went home and collapsed in my bed...
So 28 years ago I was born.
It's weird how much have happened in my short life so far.
I took the day off and have been chillin.
Not to many except family know that it is my birthday so I have been left to myself.
And that's what I want today to reflect on past, present and future.
I was out today and ran into a girl I went to school with some 4 years ago.
Sweet girl. We chatted a bit and I felt so much more solid than when I met her last.
And I could see that she felt it too!
I respond to the world differently. In a more positive way.
Not much more to add today, but I generaly feel good about things right now.
So I just answered alex questions and I post them here too so I can document my journey.
1. If you had an extra hour in the day what would you do with it?
2. Why that?
I don't understand this world as well as i wished, and those books help me understand it a whole lot better.
3. If you were on death row, what would your last meal be?
Chicken and rice with cachewnuts and spicy sauce, a glass of wine, and banana split to dessert.
4. Why that?
I love chicken, I love rice, I love cachewnuts, together they are greater and spicy sauce brings out the best in them.
Banana split brings forth happy memories from childhood. And I would really need those to face an execution.
5. If you could invite 4 people to dinner who would they be?
Hitler, Stalin, Mao, and George W Bush.
6. Why them?
Cause I would like to hear their side of the story.
7. If you could travel to any place in the world where would it be?
Taiwan with a stop in Beijing on the way!
8. Why that place?
Marial Art center of the world baby! Plus I get to walk on the great wall of china.
9. What is your dream job?
What I'm starting to do teach computers.
Cause I find it fun and interesting. Both the computing part and what makes people learn.
11. What is you most important personal boundary that MUST NOT BE CROSSED?
Cause being gay means getting fucked in the ass by other men. A proposition I find highly disturbing.
13. Who inspired/s you?
You Alex, Bruce Lee, Antony Robbins, my grandfathers, my father, David D, Tyler, A former friend of my and lots of others.
14. How did they inspire you?
They each conveyed ideas that made sence and was useful to me in a real way.
15. How would you like to influence the world?
I'd like to be part of raising humanity up to a new level. And since I've got all this mad skill with computers
I see myself as one who will find a way to transform the way most people use computers in a positive an meaningful way.
16. Why that mode, and why that level of influence?
That mode because computers was meant to make our lives simpler, but instead I see alot of people swamped in complexity.
That level of influence because I have used computers since I was 2 yers old and I know the game and because with my newfouded
computer company I now have a means for driving that transformation.
17. If you were only allowed to own one CD which would it be?
An mp3 cd with all my favoritte songs.
Because I like them!!!
19. What makes you the most emotionally upset?
When I fail to follow through on my plans, and when people I trust stabs me in the back.
Me backing down from my plan is admitting defeat.
Having giving someone trust only to get betrayed, hurts on so many levels.
It shows a lack of jugment in myself (should have seen it coming).
It means that I must reevaluate a valued relationship.
It clearly shows that the individual does not respect me.
The stab in the back is very real. You lose something of value.
You are unable to do something about it since not only was your guard down, but you are stunned too.
21. If you could fight anyone who would it be?
Myself, wonder who would win then...
22. Why them?
Cause I know my skills enough to know reasonably well too know who would kick my ass and who's ass I'd kick.
However I'd love to see myself trying to kick my own ass.
23. Which charity are you most interested in supporting?
Electonic frontier foundation.
Cause if big brother wins we can kiss goodbye to everything.
Big brother is our human tendency to try to enforce rigours rules on others trough electronic means.
25. If you could be famous or infamous for anything what reason would it be?
I'd rather be unknown, I don't need millions knowing about me.
I belive fame or infame on that level would be a bigger burden than the rewards could possible justify.
27. What are two of your idiosyncrasies?
Knowing something about everything and alot about some specific things.
(Making alot of people belive that I know just about everything. Including myself sometimes.)
This boils down to trying to learn everything.
Medium Computer/Internet addiction.
28. What are two idiosyncrasies of other people that piss you off?
Being late always and defining yourself through TV.
29. How to love to relax?
Finding your center and staying in it in all situations.
Cause then you are internaly focused instead of reacting and focusing on everything else.
So my social life is kinda accelerating...
Cool people wanna be my friends...
Girls try to get my attention in social settings just because I've having fun
and don't give a fuck about what they think about me.
I feel confident in situations I would be shaking in not so long ago.
It's like everything is just a joke. And it took me this long to get the joke.
I'm not sure about everything in my life, alot of things convergeright now.
I guess my subconcious is waiting for a meltdown any minute now.
But I have the tools to handle the success now!
Good night and sleep well!
I've noticed something about myself.
Before in my life I tried to make as small waves as possible.
Tried to make as little a footprint in the world as I could get away with.
Now I'm starting to get noticed more. Daring to interact with lots of
people and having an effect on the world.
I've been thinking abour why I didn't want to make waves in the world before.
And my answer was that I was afraid of negative consequences.
But lets face it most of the waves we make in the world have small effects
and seldom generate anything major that we can't handle.
Unless you start to fire a gun in a busy street most people won't even care
let alone try to dish out negative consequences.
I've been playing with my new motivational system and something unexpected happened.
As the pressure mounted for more approaches per game I started to care less about playing.
And started to suddenly get an urge to do other stuff that I quit like 2 years ago.
The pressure short circuted the motivation.
I'm guessing that I raised the pressure too fast...
I felt demotivated since I had to perform to much too fast or something.
I will experiment with lowering the expectations too the point before it stopped working.
And maybe spread the increasing pressure out over a longer period.
Well you learn alot about yourself doing stuff like this anyway.
Adjustment have to be made from time to time.
As long as I move in the right direction it's all good!
I've completed all of the two sets of my system today.
That means that I need 3 approaches for every game of starcraft
from here on now.
Since I've started my new system I have made 15 approaches!
That's 10 games of Starcraft!
That is pretty good! Compared with how many I made before the system.
(Not talking about the games of Starcraft here...)
When I'm out walking my selftalk is saying stuff like.
"Just ONE more approach and you have a game!"
"Perfect a HOT girl to talk to! Now I get to play!"
This is working awesome!
AND I learn alot from all the situations I put myself in. :-D
So I have been reading some of the first articles on this forum.
And having flashbacks to bootcamp doing it cause it's kind of the only
reference I have for alot of this stuff.
Anyway they are all great in their own way, but one really hit me today.
It was about approval seeking by ozzie.
And I realize that when I'm out I always look for the easy target that hopefully won't
give me resistance.
I remember bootcamp when Alex stood behind me after I got "rejected" and every time I
turned around Alex said. "Go back in!" They opened soon enough and actually approached me later in the night.
But to get to the point I have always feared the resistance because I interpret it as a rejection.
It is maybe my biggest sticking point right now. Cause without fear of resistance I would
basically be approaching left and right,
But I want approval. That's what my Christian upbringing have taught me.
Be nice and everybody will approve of you.
And if I'm nice and they don't approve of me it shatters me.
Cause in my world there would have to be something seriously wrong with
someone for him to be rejected by being nice.
Like never showered, diseased and looking like a John the Ripper.
So I quickly started to belive that there was something wrong with me.
And there was something wrong with me, I was approval seeking, but I didn't see it at the time
and did it 10 times harder.
I'm preparing myself for a game of Starcraft.
Okay? But wasn't my goal to stop sitting in front of my computer and start
going out more often to approach chicks?
Yes and Starcraft is helping me do just that!
Huh? Starcraft helping me get girls?
Yes it is the REWARD! The carrot!
I like to play Starcraft so I told myself that for each set amount of approaches
I get x number of plays! And it works! Cause now if I wanna play and I have no playtime
I have to first go meet some women and accomplish whatever is the objective that I've
struggling with at the time.
Only then I get to play Starcraft!
So I was out again yesterday.
First time since I've dealt with my inner chode.
And let me tell you I'm a different person now.
Going into sets is so easy now.
Cause I've not so focused on being rejected as before.
Several sets opened and taught me alot about what happens
when you do X versus Y. Basicly I just went into sets had fun and
recorded what happened for later reflection.
This was the best night so far for many reasons. Mostly because I managed
to get two sets to accept me as part of the group, even though my buddy was
a real pain to them.