bagua's Blog

bagua
 
Today I did projections as usual, almost like a workout now.

Yesterday I also did them.
This is a two days in a row post since I lost internet yesterday.
Not much else to say on that topic since other stuff have been on my mind.

What happened yesterday was a visit to a girl.
I tried to make it go in the direction that I wanted,
but it was a no go.
I felt that the investment in time and energy was too much more than
I was willing to give to get to where I wanted to go.
It is as if I've stagnated in relation to that girl
and only a superhuman effort could move anything anywhere useful.

After doing the usual routine stuff intermingled with trying to move things in a new
way that failed miserably, the basic message I gave her was.

"Some things are not meant to be!"

We both like each other, but are very habitual around each-other.
It caused me a lot of sadness today, cause it is a person I know well.
I wish that there was a way to move it forward, but to me it seems like
a too big task to handle without coming across as very needy.
And then I would be screwed anyway.

Btw this is a girl I have known since before the boot-camp.
It is from my earlier life and does not reflect
my approach to other women in general.
Or I least I like to think that... :-p
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