bagua's Blog

To love!


To be loved!

That is the two fundamental choices.

According to Jacques Lacan anyway...

Eighter you are the chode who loves or the player who is loved.

To be chode is to express your need for love, projecting all your ideals and fantasies onto the other person.

To be the beloved is to let the other person project their ideals and fantasies onto you,
to let them belive whatever they want to belive about you.
To be painted in rosy colors and given unrealistic attributes and strengths.

We all do it to some degree, but some more than others.
The ones who don't, live in caves in the mountains and are called hermits.

The more you let another talk to or think about you the more they will project onto you.
The more you talk to or think about someone the more you will project onto them.
It is inevitable!

Something I picked up of a seminar I attended a while ago by a psychologist.
Found it really helpful!
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Respected Member

Join Date: 04/07/2011 | Posts: 457

cool to read that. 
An english chicks I like Is too much in my mind these days. This is not real her, this is illusiory her...
I talked on skype with her and I find my self waiting for her to respond or shit like that. 
So I stopped.  Healthier long term; I ll see her in august maybe ,that s it.  
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Respected Member

Join Date: 04/26/2010 | Posts: 355

Yes I know the feeling when you wait for answer cause you hypnoticed yourself at the computer screen
to think all sorts of unhelpful things...
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