bagua's Blog

This no porn thing is killing me.
And thing is that I've still allowed to jerk-off as long as I don't do it to porn.
I realized that I wouldn't have a chance if I was to cut both at the same time.

And so far I've gotten to see the extent of my urge for watching porn.
In a weak moment, I found a way around my filter.
A dent in my self imposed wall.

It made me relapse for two days now before I got a handle again.
I've solved the way around the filter and I'm back at it.

You've got to learn from stuff like that, it will teach you about your weak spots.
And then with continual improvement it will get harder and harder to do the wrong thing.

On a side note I've doing some stuff Alex taught me about approaching in public.
Found a paper he gave us about it, and I'm going trough the steps one by one.
Great stuff!

Doing all this is putting my motivation to a serious test, I'm finding that my attention is limited and
my work is starting to suffer in the way that I forget things and postpone stuff.
But hey no pain no gain, worst thing I lose my job and have to sleep on the street... (Not likely! A joke!)
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