bagua's Blog

Lately I've been working on my own sense decervingness.
Cause when I hear people in this community say stuff like just tell her you want to fuck her,
there is a big disconnect for me.

There are two reasons for this that I can see, maybe even some I can't see.
The most obvious for me is that I've never said that to a girl before.
My statments of desires towards womn don't even come close.

The second is that I find the language very crude and it don't jive with my reality to be so crude.
Now this actually a non issue once one gat a perspective and realize that the language used is irrelevant.
Fuck, enter her, sleep with and whatever other word one feel like using is okay as long as you feel congruent while you speek it. Maybe i would benefit from saying to a woman "I want to  fuck you"
But then again as long as the woman gets that I dare to communicate the message verbaly directly that
I want to have sexual intercourse. I can hardly see that learning how to say something the crude way
will give me much benefit. Saying fuck is the very masculine yang way of expressing sexual decire today.
But using a more yin apporach can work just as well. And if you go to far away from the approach you have chosen you only come of as incongruent. Just as the guy who have no stamina and tries to do rough sex
only dispplays his lack of stamina to the woman as Tyler recently illustrated.

Now that I've covered the language, I want to look at the not having said anything to that effect before.
I've recently started a liberating experiment. So far it has worked wonders and I'm excited to see how it progresses. I start telling women how I desire to hug them in a way that makes them want to be hugged.
I then give her the hug and escalate however far the moment makes possible.
Then wnatever escalation I didn't get too do I start talking about my desire to share such a moment with them.
I empasise how daily living robs us of the opportunity to experience such moments and how beutyful it would
be to help each othe fill that gap. Every new stated wanted escalation is a challenge for sure, but it isn't out
of my reach and builds tremendous confidence beyond what I've ever experienced.
It feels very liberating not having to pretend to not want her. And my slow method helps both her and me
from feeling overwhelmed by stating something that may be too far out of our comfort zone.

And that brings me to the title of this post.
What is the nature of the chode?
Well he is neutral, he is passive. He dares not be agressive yang or suggestive yin.
The pretends to be nice and asexual and hopes to spring the news that he has a dick wanting to
touch her inside once she sees him as a nice friend. Now everyone knows this or should know this on this site.
And me restating it is only for my own benefit of connecting the dots and understanding the
terrain on both sides of the neutral chode space.
In a way I see RSD strategies as very yang, and knowing that I'm already more on the yin side of the equation
it is much simpler for me to develop that trait and run with it than to go to the other extreme to copy-cat
Tyler/Jeffy/Alex or what not.

Now this by no mean is a statment that I can't use yang methods in my game, just that I need to consider
how they work with the combined package that is me.

Cause when all you have done is hug a woman and touch her naked forearm, it is maybe too big a step
saying I want to put my dick in your vagina, although saying i wish i could stroke your chin right now seems
more natural and in line with what is expected could happen next.
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