bagua's Blog

bagua
 
I've been away from this blog for a while now. 2 months to be exact.
In the real world I've dealt with approach anxiety.
I've dealt with my view of women both concious and unconcious.

My life is turned upside down in many areas. Stuff that I used to rely on are simply gone.
You meet yourself in the door when you realize how trapped you where by certain aspects of your life.

So why am I writing now?
On saturday I was invited out to a place I've not been to for quite a while.
While me and a friend was on the bus to go there a girl I had flirted with before I tok the bootcamp boarded.
We recaognized each other and she sat down and talked with us.
Turned out she was going to the same place we where.
While we where talking out of nowhere this guy appears and starts to game her.

I'm like FUCK!!!! In my head...
He somehow manages to get himself to sit down with us and even manages to invite himself to the place
we are headed.
I'm like FUUUUUUCK!!!!
I keep calm amazingly enough and talks to him and finds out his name.
But he soon starts to ignore my comments. So I think to myself.
Fuck this! I turn to hy friend and starts to talk about past adventures.
Creating a good vibe beween me and my bro while ignoring her and the party crasher.

When we get of the bus with our new "friend". She starts to engage me in conversation and it becomes clear
that she is very happy to see me.
AHA!!! So I chat her up while we walk for a bit, and in a lull in the convo where the guy tries to reinitiate. I immediately vibe with my buddy again like I don't care if the two of them turned away and walked away never to be seen again.
When we arrive I make sure to find the guy who invited me and vibe with him. The guy who latched onto us.
Is out of his element and she stops caring about him and joins our happy viby group.

A little later. The guy gets himself into trouble, not knowing the venue, he has trespassed into an only staff area
and not only that, but he gets in their face when challenged. They call the cops and throw him out.

The rest of the night I tease her about it being her fault, since she brought him.
She liked it and got very attracted to me. We had all sorts of fun and I ended with her phone number
and an understanding that we should definitely meet again.

The reason I write this is because it shifted my awareness. The guy who initially I tought would steal the girl
turned out to be an amazing resource that helped increase my chances of getting her.
What happened when he sat down was that I assosciated it to loss.
But in fact what I experienced was all in my head. And since I didn't act on my initial association that wanted me to become insecure I stayed upbeat happy and carefree. Not trying to hinder him and compete for
her attention turned out to be the edge I needed. He had no one else to relate to. By being rude to me he only had her and that fact made him needy by default.

Gee...the world has been tipped on it's head.
Now I'm the cool guy and my competition are the losers screwing up with the girl making me that more attractive. Later that night a dude was trying to game her with boring chode convo.
Should I be jealous? NOOOOO!
He is entertaining her so I don't have to. I could have fun with my buddy while she spins him around her little finger until she gets bored and wish that she was talking to me. Cause then she could giggle and have fun.

She had to leave early and even after hugging me goodbye she hovered around me until I got her phone number. She didn't want to leave until she was sure that we would meet again.

Now I have no idea how this will turn out.
However I do know that the experience of that night will change my take on this whole thing for the better.
:-D
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