bagua's Blog

bagua
 
Yesterday I sent a txt message to this girl.
At the moment I sent it I thought it was a funny, good idea.

When I got the answer I stood up an yelled FUCK!

The answer was "OK"

It took a little while for the rational part of my brain to kick in and analyze what had just happened.

The first thing that hit me was that getting "OK" as an answer, was actually a good thing.
So why the over the top negative reaction if it was a good thing?
What kind of response had I hoped to get?
I realized that I hadn't thought about what kind of response I wanted...

However it wasn't "OK" I hoped for that's for sure!
After thinking about it, it became clear that with many other likely responses,
I could do what I always do, create some negative drama and find an excuse to end the
relationship that I've built so far with this girl.
I always do that, but I've never had the process interupted like this before.
Usually I just go with the flow and create a deeper and deeper hole for myself.
But "OK" didn't allow that.

It's like I'm playing this game wherein I win when I lose.
I wasn't thinking lets end this, but that would have been the natural conclution had she taken my bait.
I remember distinctly being in the same state of mind every time I've messed up a relationship.

So what did I do?
I wrote back. "Thanks, I needed to hear that. :)"

She wrote back. "Your welcome! :-)"

And then I went to bed...
Login or register to post.

Related Posts