bagua's Blog

Life is a rollercoaster.
You never know quite how you will end up emotionally.

Right now a number of factors are going down at the same time.
My emotional stability is in serious jeopardy.

I know that whatever happens I will come out stronger since I've pushed beyond my comfort
zone in a number of areas.
However It does not feel good...
Not good at all.
People are giving me shit ot test me.

I feel like lashing out. To strike back. I think it may be an overreaction to strike. (Not in a physical sense)
I only want respect, but all I see are fear.

People who fear my change in behaviour, and tries to rein me back in with manipulative behaviour
mixed signals, lies and weird actions.

I have no idea what way to turn so I'm ranting here!
Ranting about my stomach turning cause because of uneasiness.

Feeling scared and angry in turn.
Thinking that maybe I have made a mistake and doom is comming.
Jung had an interesting name for the trouble I've going trough now
he called it a cognitive loop.
It is an interesting concept that have helped me take more control of what I'm struggling with.
Instead of being incapacitated for hours all I need are some blog, self help forum to rant on to
externalice my stuggles.

Blogging is very mantally healthy I have found!
Oh well feel much better and are able to think clearly again.
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