bagua's Blog

bagua
 
It is so weird that I should feel this way, but only lately I've been able to verbalize it after working
on some of my emotional issues in some other "growth" forum.

I have these perfectionistic tendencies.
I read about stuff here on RSD nation, and if I don't apply everything I've written I feel
like I've let myself down on some level.

It is of course totally unresonable that I should be able to implement everything that Tyler, Alex, Jeffy etc
says on this site and other places.
But still I feel insufficient.
I become paralyzed and avoid going out.
Only dabbling in this area here and there.

It is a shame, but from my perspective when the pressure become to great I retreat.
Now that isn't to say that I havn't gotten anywhere, but the idolized super pickup artist
that pulls every night and can handle any social situation is not realistic with
the pace I've been keeping so far.

The reason I'm writing this is to get the burden of pretence of my shoulders.
I'm not a pickup artist!
I'm not a player!
I'm not a ladies man!

So what am I then?
I'm a person coming here to reflect on the area of life called meeting women.
And all the aspects surrounding it.
I find great advice from people like Tyler, Alex and Jeffy ++ who have much experience in this area.

It is very liberating to shed some of these labels and not have to pretend that there is this
gloryfied image that I need to be perfect up against.
Other people might need the glorified image.
Maybe they are not perfectionistic and can be motivated by a stereotype.

For me?
It is holding me back from acting. So I drop it.
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