bagua's Blog

I've came to realize today that I have a very low sense of entitlement.
So naturaly this is where I'm refocusing some of my efforts for some time.

So where do I start?
No idea actually...
The more I think about it the more I get the feeling of being in foreign territory.

I'll start with defining what I belive entitlement is.

Entitlement is beliveing that you deserve to get something to such a degree that
helping yourself to it at any time feels natural, as it should be.

Me and women is a different story. I don't feel that I can help myself to women.
I often have an internal dialouge when an opportunity presents itself that argues wheter
it is right of me to make a move now. Or if I should wait.
Oftentimes I fall on the option to do nothing. Not that I wouldn't wish it wasn't this way,
but that is the facts, straight up how it goes.

Thinking more about this makes it obvious, that not only do I have this with women.
But this is a general theme in many different situations.
I often hesitate to help myself before being given permission.
I'm waiting for someone to give me permission...
In life in general...

Okay that helped my understanding on where I'm at.

So now what?
How do I move this in the direction I want?

What categories of "dishes" are served in this women department anyway?

Eyecontact. (No problem)
The smile. (Struggling)
Striking up a conversation. (Very hard)
Holding hands. (Almost never)
Kissing. (Only when drunk or in total privacy)
Undressing. (Every blue moon)
Sex. (Only if I pay....)

This is just an of the top of my head scribbling of the areas that I feel are involved when
it comes to helping oneself to what is there.
(Feel free to add a better model if you think it is flawed)

It seems to me that entitlement goes to the core of this whole pickup deal, at least for me.

Lets look at the first problem that crops up for me.
How can I make it easy for myself to smile at pretty women?
The answer that comes up for me is do it more.

Yeah how obvious...
Never seen that coming...
So I should just do it more....
I can hear my subconcious protest already...
Oh well, got to do, what you got to do!
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