bagua's Blog

bagua
 
Read Alex article yesterday.
And it made me feel the weight of resent events in my life more clearly.
Hence my pessimistic upset post.

I'm a beta person, no doubt, I'm far from an ideal self.
However looking back before the bootcamp,
I was even more beta so things are better!

Right now I'm cutting down on the amount of detail I freely offer up
when people ask me questions.
I have a tendency to divulge too much details about whatever is asked.
Often giving the other person too much info and sometimes more power.
Being too willing to answer questions is disempowering.
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#1
Laaavish

Laaavish

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/30/2007 | Posts: 306

Hey man, you're kind of right but I wouldn't worry too much about that. Worrying about who has power in each situation is something that kind of fucked me up for awhile (friendships suffered as result, and my outlook got weird/fear based). 'Answering less' is not something anyone needs to work on -- what I think you are probably honing in on here is your own sense of value.

Someone says "hey what did you do at work today" (in your mind you didnt do anything too special but you think you need to please/excite/impress them) so you go "oh I did this and this and this and that and this it was cool".... So its not an authentic expression, you're just trying to be noticed and come off as a busy/cool guy even though even YOU dont even really care about what you did today.

And on the other side of things -- if you personally think that what you did is worth giving a long answer, then fuck man, tell them ALL about it!! Go on for ten minutes if you want to. It's all about coming from your own authentic place man, and expressing that truthfully. Not impressing other people. Im stressing its not about who has the power in each situation. Dont bother your mind with that nonsense.
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#2
bagua

bagua

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/26/2010 | Posts: 355

Thanks for the please/exite/impress distinction, helped alot!

In many cases that is the problem, I feel the need to please the questioner
and afterwards I beat myself up over it.

If I go into detail about some thing I think are cool I don't beat myself up over it. :)
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