bagua's Blog

bagua
 
I've beginning to accept the way girls are.
That they are wired differently and only care about perceived coolness.

It is hard, but I'm projecting less and less fairytale fantasies onto girls.
I still do it some, but they are more down to earth and not too much castles in the sky type of thing.

It seems to me that whatever I dream of it is the hollywood, soulmate, happy ever after cliche
it boils down to in the end.

When I'm in I don't care about that view mode, girls laugh nervously, smile and try to touch me.
When I'm in the other mode I get no loving and are shunned.

It should be a no brainer.
However out of habit some tale gets spun in my head sometime.
And off goes the girl... XD

It is really subtle sometimes, it starts with small ideas, and girls always lead you on.
If you say A they will say B, and soon you are down to T in chode ABC and the girl is long gone.

What I'm trying to say is that I start out with cool collected and confident.
Then things start to go really well, and some cue from the girl, a look, a tone of voice etc
triggers some program that starts to run inside me and soon everything I had in the cool and confident
department is dissipated.

It starts small with me projecting how things will go in the near future.
Then before I know it I've touched on all sorts of potential situations.
I've simulated every possible ending, and if I like how it played out in the hollywood version,
I start to try to go down that path.
I don't do it in a concious way, I just find myself there with a girl that is bored or already left.

I'm glad that I'm able to verbalize this problem in this way.
I need to be much more concious in this area from now.
Thx Tyler for your last vid!
It really got me to wake up on this whole issue, and see what components that are involved
in my world as I go down fairy tale lane.
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#1

alpha_z3r0

Junior Member

Join Date: 11/27/2011 | Posts: 12

 Sasuke! Improve your confidence: internalise behaviour, hypnosis, read all PUA material you can find and you will be unstoppable! Have the means and ability to escalate once you have suddenly shot the tempo through the roof, dont get caught up in talking, much mystery is better kept silent. 
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#2
Obratha

Obratha

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/23/2011 | Posts: 12

 Haha man

I had the same thing in the past (some of it is still here), attributing girls with 'magical' qualities that they don't have and ending up being disillusioned or 'rejected' in some way.

It's funny how you do best by not expecting anything from the girl, even being friendly or XYZ.

It's having this fantasy model of how they should be or could be that ruins things.

Because then you're not dealing with reality anymore (but an illusion about the girl), which makes your reactions during the interaction seem 'uncalibrated' or 'off'.

The thing that helps me with it, is to become extremely present to how the girl is acting, instead of having this image in my head of how she SHOULD act so it can be 'perfect'.

When I do this, I see her 'flaws' better, but they are not really flaws, they are things that make her who she is and unique.
I notice all her little cute mannerisms, quirky gestures, insecure comments, girly moves blablabla. When doing this, I can enjoy the REAL her more, than a daydream of her.

BECAUSE she's much more beautiful and attractive the WAY SHE IS.

It's like, real - that may not be perfect - sex, with a real woman (average or above) 
will always beat the best porn, with the best actresses ... 

At one point it's just deciding if you want fantasy or reality.

I hope this is not too fuzzy hahaha!

But, I will say this, the fact that you have some awareness of it, gives you all the power you need to 'fix' it.


Obratha
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#3
bagua

bagua

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/26/2010 | Posts: 355

alpha_z3r0

The recipie is interesting.
However the skillsets implied in each of the mainpoints in your list are very extencive.
I don't know if I will be able to follow it.
It would be very time consuming.
I will keep them in mind though.

Obratha

It is funny how many others seem to have experienced the same sorts of issues as I have.
I appreciate you spelling out how you change your perspective from dreamworld fantasy
to real world taking in what is actually going on.

To be honest the real girl in the real world kind of scares me and
I would rather deal with the fantasy girl.
To the detriment of any real world results. XD
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#4
Obratha

Obratha

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/23/2011 | Posts: 12

It's a journey/process man, haha, good luck!
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