BADandSTUPID's Blog

BADandSTUPID
 
We have a big campus on our town's university where often many 15-19 yrolds collect on weekends and where I (19) was really really popular when I had school holidays. Then the holidays were over and I visited school with my new confidence. I became more popular. Sounds like a cool story. But there's a problem: I couldn't stop thinking about that I had lower value in school that I have on weekends when I'm sarging. So I started to care more what other students think of me what is against my philosophy in general, so I tryd to gain more and more outer game to get better results, and came quickly to an end. There just was an end, the frustration that you cant get this level and suffer to get to the next level. I was in an vicious cycle with my goal (more value in school) where I wanted to "socialize" as far as possible, but was just collecting value as far as possible. I needed another point I can concentrate on. High school really sucks when you watch it as a competition (competing with other students). Set another goals. If your confidence falls, there is only arrogance remaining. I was so concentrated on outer game, trying to impress, even trying acting not trying to impress to impress (which is the most horrible). Also: Impressing other people is very connected to perfectionism, which is stopping you from your goals. I was acting like a company idealising its commercials more and more to get more and more money until to the point competing with others who do the same. I know that value gives you (or nearly equals) confidence, so my goal was to sell me as good as possible.
The thing is that you should not collect value and store it, but to let it circulate, everybody gives and takes value and those that can use it good, will have more value than those who are constantly storing it. See yourself as a politician who has to decide where the money should go to.
That makes you completely independant of approval, because your confidence is independant from how much you have, but how well you handle value and give it to people. Outer game is really second.
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