Hi all. Well, I choded out, you could argue. And I'm paying for it by having to catch up with my aforementioned development. But if it needs to happen, there's no excuse. Interestingly (maybe for the first time ever in all my nights of going out), I was in a very positive mood. There were lots of colourful emotions at work, but by the time I started approaching, the block came back, and it was probably due to my already-established negative patterns of behaviour. One of my wingman buddies went through some of the problems that arose. Here were his conclusions.
- Talk to everyone. 'Social-mingling Time' as Jeff would call it, is necessary to disarm a sense outcome-dependency.
A part of me is beginning to wonder if everything I've been doing up until now was innately narcissistc, that is to ask the question: was I honing my desire to feel validated through a more emotionally-oriented mode of game, rather than egotistical? I suspect that it may have been a mixture of the two, because I know that I've gone out on nights and entered powerful states of non-outcome-oriented value giving, as well the opposite.
- Don't take 'Bitch-Shields' personally.
I always felt guitly about pissing any girl off, but the reality was a lot less personal than I initially thought. If she behaves that way, it's simply a defence-mechanism that she triggers in order to make a chode back off. She wouldn't do that to guy who was in state and flowing with value. (At least, never to an excess, right?)
- Both negative and positive reference experiences matter.
90% of one's development is made by the countless quantity of mistakes one makes.
If everything goes right for you all the time, than nothing is learned. Things will go well, for the most part, only 10% of the time. In other words, plough. Plough, plough, plough, plough, PLOUGH until she asks you to leave.
I realise now that there's a tremendous amount to learn. Back in the Game I go...