So.......... I've been drinking too much and I want to go a week without ANY alcohol.
It's a personal challenge.
Also, no drugs and no masturbating.
I want to see what happens to my pysche and my motivation like this. Really, I should probably try this for a month, but I'm not sure I'd be able to keep that promise, so I'll start out with a week and see how it goes.
Things have been good, for anyone who's following/subscribed to my blog. I know I haven't been updating regularly, but I have been going out regularly. ALWAYS at least 5 nights a week.
Tonight was an off night, but I still got a makeout, and a phone number from two different girls............
I can't wait for tomorrow!!! I love game, I love life.
I choose love. It's not always easy, but I don't give myself a choice.
I feel happy, and I have since last night. Yes, I got laid two days ago, but I don't really think that has anything to do with it.
I'm back on my shit, and WORRYING LESS! about tons of shit.... just not caring, knowing it's all going to be ok. I re-connected to my basic goals, and I know that my purpose in life is to enjoy it and take risks and challenge myself.
Also, I'm wondering if I should be more of a douche. It seems like douches are REALLY REALLY attractive to girls. It's like they want to tame them. I think I'm going to sprinkle on a little more douche.
So many times, that's what it's all about. Just staying in........... not getting too drunk and passing out helps as well.
Thursday night: Pull, kiss, already set up our next date
Friday night, makout, number, already talking about smoking hookah together
Saturday night, Makeout/sex with clothes on, number, and..... she's 17 ha ha ha so I'm not following up on that one. HOT FUCKING UNDERAGE girl, zomg lmao
Anyways. That's what I've been up to. I think I'm back up to the best I've been ever so far. I've been going out consistently, and that has been the KEY to all my success.
Today was a nice day getting some things in order, thinking about my life and re-centering with my goals:
Income goal by July 2012 = $1000/week
Short term goals are sticking with my budget, paying off my small debts, building a savings buffer and then taking a goddam bootcamp already.
$3000 in my savings account and then I'll go. But before that, I've got to have at least that small buffer, man.
The one who get laid are willing to not have the girl like them. They are willing to arouse "scary"/bad emotions in the girl. They are willing to arouse emotions like anger and hate and annoyance. They don't give a fuck if the girl likes them or not. Of course, they want the girl, and it would be nice if the girl liked them, but it's more important that they truly express themselves and amuse themselves and have fun and feel the emotions THEY want to feel than for the girl to have a "good time" or what seems like "a good time." Because actually, the whole time the girl is being aroused emotionally in some way, being led by the man, she will want to fuck that man.
That's something I observed and was reinforced tonight at a house party. I stayed for a long time...
It was nice, I made out with one girl that I've known for several months and never done anything with... she's seen me with my ex, seen me kiss my ex when we were still together... and it's funny I deleted her number once and just so happened to text her back and discover it was her. Well... I guess I'll be hanging on to this number for a little while longer to see what happens.
Also... even though making out was nice............ I want to get my dick wet.
Still consistent. 1 lay in the past 5/6 weeks, that's something, cool. Congratulations me.
Sometimes it's tough for us who aren't AMAZING out in the field because we hear about how amazing the best people are, without reminding ourselves that they went through TONS of shit before getting there.
Remember, it took Tyler/Owen 8 months to learn how to hold a 3-minute conversation.
Don't be too hard on yourself (I'm saying this to me as much as anyone) b/c if you're GOING FOR IT, consistently and EARNESTLY, in other words, you're not just PRETENDING/looking like you're going for it, but you really do want it to happen and put your personality and balls on the line, then progress is inevitable.
I need to start writing more field reports after my nights out. I need to go back to that, I think it really helped.
I invited a girl back last night to smoke hookah (great way to get girls back, IMO). She said no, but still, I asked. I went for it, ha ha. She was HOT too. No more of that fatty shit, ha ha.
Going to a rave on Saturday. I LOVE raves. And the beautiful girls that come to them.
It's true. Slow and steady wins the race.
It's interesting the things that have been happening to me. The sensations in my body have been changing when I'm around women. The sensations are stronger and feel even better. Attraction. Flooding me.
And what's interesting is that was such a rare feeling back when I used to care more what women thought of me. God, I love the feeling.
Out again tonight, as always. I've been consistent for a month now 5 nights/week out. And I gotta watch out because it's still always that same "tired" feeling right before going out or during the night, trying to get me to give up and go home.
You just have to do it.
You just have to do it.
Also, I'm eating a bowl of the best rice and chick peas I've had all day. Curry powder. Sea Weed flakes. Pink sea salt crystals. It's healthy. It's fuel. Fuel for my BODeEEEEY.
Last night sucked. I did not give myself a check mark on my markerboard calendar for yesterday. We tried to go out and I was broke so I didn't have money for cover, and the only other place that we could have gone was sit down tables... and... yeah.
So tonight it's gonna be hard core.
Today has been FUNNNN! I've just been doing the things I love to do.
I do five activities every day as soon as I can: Sexercise, DDR, Journal, Read, and Guitar.
If I do those 5 things and also GO OUT, I've lived a successful day. I enjoy all those things... so yeah :D
It's a great way to keep the pressure off myself to be doing CRAZY things every day, and it's also a way to be able to feel good about my days and my time after I've lived them.
I just graph it out on my markerboard and then give myself a check mark after each activity on the corresponding day.
Also, I just had a thought: Don't wait for someone else to give your life meaning.