AZmagic's Blog

AZmagic
 
I've been doing this more as a journal than anything else, but I want to start making FRs with them.

I did go out last night, approached a couple sets, talked to some people I knew.

It felt REALLY fucking good to run into a couple girls I was friends with and when they asked about their friend (whom I didn't know was there but has always been a complete to me, I worked with her for 3 months), and I told them that their friend sucked at life, she was a fucking and I never wanted to talk to her again.

Now, I know this seems incredibly mean. But here's the thing: 1. I had a HUGE crush on one of the two girls that I was talking to for like 3 months or so. 2. I worked with her friend for 3 months and her friend was always SUCH a to me. 3. I never said anything or expressed how I felt about the bitchy girl because I "didn't want to be mean or hurt anyone." 4. I basically let all this rage build up, I wasn't myself whenever the was around, and instead of expressing how I felt, I just let it build and build. 5. It feels good to say "fuck it" and say how you feel.

I'm trying to eliminate every part of supressing my emotions. I'm not saying I want to become a raging asshole going around punching people in the face, I simply want to FEEL my emotions, and then assert myself in whichever way seems wisest. Sometimes, it might simply be stating how I feel. Sometimes it might mean walking away. Sometimes it might mean suggesting someone ELSE do something about the scenario, etc.

Anyways, I feel like little things like that last night are SO important for my overall development. For me to be able to feel my feelings, to express how I feel, and not give a fuck how it affects people is PARAMOUNT to my development as a self-actualized human being. For so long I would hold all my emotions inside so that I wouldn't "alienate" people, or "offend" anyone. I'm not afraid of that anyomre. I would rather alienate someone else than to alienate myself.

It was funny, last night my friend approached a 3-set, after a while 2 of the girls walked away and left just me and one other girl. I say, "You're friends will just walk away and leave you with a creepy guy?" She says, "You're not THAT creepy." Ha ha ha, so anyways, we talked for a few minutes until she walked away ha ha...... it was a warm up, whatever, but it was still fun.  I talked to one other girl last night. We were only there for an hour or so, so 2 sets was just how it went down, other than talking to old friends that happened to be there.

Anyways, I start my new job tomorrow, gotta be there @ 8am, but that's not stopping me from going out and STAYING out until 2am tonight or until I pull. Tues-Sat I give myself no other choice but to stay until I pull or 2am, whichever comes first ;)
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AZmagic
 
Alcohol is my new weed.

I quit weed back in April, and have only smoked 4 times since. Towards the end of my smoking days, I would only really smoke because it helped me fall asleep or because I was bored and didn't want to think about my problems. The four times I've smoked since then I have regretted it each time, because the next day I would be slightly less happy, feeling burnt out and tired, and demotivated and depressed. So....... it's not hard for me to say no to weed anymore.

I'm beginning to feel the same way about alcohol. It's not quite as bad the next day, not quite as a downer, but still, there is a definite numbing effect that does last into the next day. Not only is excessive alcohol bad for my liver, but it make me forget shit, dream less vividly, and process information less effectively. Not to mention that instead of my body taking time to heal itself and detox from the "normal" toxins encountered during the day, my body has to work extra hard to remove the alcohol AND try to detox, which is surely a lot less restful and re-charging than a normal sleep session.

Anyways, I still lapse into drinking sometimes, especially when not going out, but I'm getting rid of the habit. Not because "I heard it's healthier" but because I'm noticing a small but significant difference in my overall happiness when I do not drink. Drinking is ABSOLUTELY a short-term happiness strategy, and I've done it so much that it's almost as if I've exhausted the fun part of it and the "learning" part of it to the point where........ it's not a big deal anymore. It's not that exciting. It's more exciting to be sober, ha ha.

I just got back from a run. Jogging 2 miles a day has been a HUGE part of my life ever since I incorporated it about 2 weeks ago. Like Alexander says, if you're not physically exerting yourself, as a man, you will go crazy. Physical exertion is a MUST for balance in my life, and I didn't realize that until I really incorporated it into my life.

Well, last night around 3am my ex texted me that she still wants to be friends and a part of my life. I had my phone on silent so I texted her back at 10 something this morning when I woke up. I haven't heard back from her yet but I'm interested to see where this will go. I'll always love that girl. My biggest fear is that I'll want her more than to be just friends in my life again. But on the other hand, I WILL NOT stop going out Tues-Sat under any circumstances, so there isn't really anything to be afraid of. I'm so glad she texted me that......... we'll see if we actually do get together or not.

My "date" I had planned for tonight is off now. Also, last night I was going to go for tea with this one girl and she never texted me back..... I'm still going to try to do a day2 tonight again with a different girl, and I still have a day2 planned for Wednesday. New week. Good times. Peace, love, and appreciation.
0 Comments | 1,651 Views
AZmagic
 
Wow. 5 nights last week no alcohol and stayed until 2am!

7 makeouts, 6 number closes, 1 day2 set up so far.......

I need to go through all my numbers today.... and try to set some stuff up. I've been thinking about setting up a spreadsheet or something ha ha. It gets tedious going through all my contacts every time I'm looking for my numbers from girls.

But anyways, Friday night probably my favorite "validation" approach of the week: A sexy redhead opened me, trying to promote her DJing event, and I just made solid eye-contact and she started saying omg, you're so sexy, you're so hot. She was staring into my eyes holding her stomach, saying I was making her feel so amazing. So I gave her a hug and then we kissed, she said, "here, take me number, too."

One of the chillest interactions I've ever had with a girl, causing so much attraction it was incredible. The self is always coming through........... I've been thinking about that so much this week. Saying shit I might not normally say, worrying WAY less about what I'm saying because I know that either way, whether I'm feeling good or bad, whether I'm trying to project a certain image or not, it doesn't matter because what I'm feeling inside and who I REALLY am deep down is going to come through.

And when I don't try to hide that at all, when I embrace who I am and move beyond my flaws, when I offer my masculine strength to the girl in a playful way, inviting her into my world, she can't not be attracted.

So, I may take a day or two off from the clubs, today and tomorrow. I don't force myself to go out more than 5 nights a week.

Last night was the closest I've come in a long time to not going out, and that would have sucked so much. I'm so glad I have a good friend that goes out wth me every night and last night he pushed me to go out.

I had a 20-30 minute conversation with one girl last night who kept on testing me SO hard, partly because I was a bit wobbly on my state, I think. The funny thing about that is that when I AM wobbly on my state, it's almost like I NEED the tests to put me into state. Obviously, it's not that I NEED them, but they help me get into state faster, as I pass the tests and begin to have more fun. It's just another way that attraction begins to become the norm when I'm around girls, because they will inevitably test you when you go for what you want, aka hitting on them. So........ damn, this shit is getting more and more fun every day, and I just love it so much, I can't believe it's only been 3 months since I've been going out 5 nights a week consistently.

In another 3 months from now.............. Mhh. Shit is cool.

The key to all this? Consistently going out. Humilty to admit there might be a better way of doing things when shit isn't working, and the audacity to push my comfort zones and go for what I want.

Peace.
0 Comments | 340 Views
AZmagic
 
Approached nervous, but it hooked solid and later I told her she was my (RAVE) girlfriend for the night. ----She said, "Ok, you're my (RAVE) boyfriend." I never even kissed her but we were so in love ha ha. I should have, now that I think about it.

However, another girl I fell in love with last night kept staring into my eyes (right back, of course) and wouldn't stop saying how hot and sexy I was (ha ha, I want to say AM right there not was). Anyways, two number closes, already talked to the RAVE gf afterwords last night, she had left early and gone to a different city already so no pull there.

Also, I lost the other girl ha, but still it was an awesome time. This last week I stayed until 2am every night without drinking either, so....... basically I learned about twice as much this week probably as I learned the past 2 weeks.

And tonight is Saturday, bitches. Motherfuckin' Saturday ha!

This no drinking thing is actually so rewarding because you aren't numbed to the BRILLIANT sensations of pleasure that come from the "risk-taking" and the general experience of being with beautiful girls. Of course, without alcohol, it's true that there's more sensation on rejections as well, but whatever. The rejections don't really hurt after a certain point. They kind of become non-existent in a way.

All that exists is fun and boobs. ha ha, not really but....... yeah, sort of ;) 
0 Comments | 324 Views
AZmagic
 
It's true.

I'm fucking money, and I know it because I work hard. Almost 3 months straight going out at least 5 nights a week. But I'm realizing how I've been holding back. I was getting drunk for a lot of that. Not all, but a lot. Also, if my friends wanted to leave early, then I'd go with them almost every time.

I have different goals in this than they do. I will be in the elite.

And for that I am willing to pay the price.

Also.............ha ha ha, this is fun, so, I'm not trying to get too serious. But yeah, your mind/my mind plays tricks. Almost every single night before I go out I find myself trying to come up with excuses, or to get drunk. I still go out, but then when I'm out I still look for excuses........... fuck themmmm!!!!!!!!

So, I'm not upping it to 7 nights a week or anything, but I will stay until the clubs close/they kick me out, which here is fuckin 2am OR until I pull each night. Also, no more "trying to find a party" when it's not solid.

I can party on Sunday or Monday. Tues-Sat, I am OUT!!!!

I just finished "palming" btw. I'm doing that at least 30 min a day now for my eyesight to get better. It turns out the FDA and MANY other governmental organizations (like the media) don't want you to know about natural principles of health, and you can actually re-learn to see naturally. I'm down from a -3.5 in each eye to -2.00 in each eye. And since vision is a reflection on general nervous system health, memory health, and possibly kidney and liver health and balance with nature........... I'm feeling GREAT about my improvements.

 
2 Comments | 344 Views
AZmagic
 
It's true.

I'm fucking money, and I know it because I work hard. Almost 3 months straight going out at least 5 nights a week. But I'm realizing how I've been holding back. I was getting drunk for a lot of that. Not all, but a lot. Also, if my friends wanted to leave early, then I'd go with them almost every time.

I have different goals in this than they do. I will be in the elite.

And for that I am willing to pay the price.

Also.............ha ha ha, this is fun, so, I'm not trying to get too serious. But yeah, your mind/my mind plays tricks. Almost every single night before I go out I find myself trying to come up with excuses, or to get drunk. I still go out, but then when I'm out I still look for excuses........... fuck themmmm!!!!!!!!

So, I'm not upping it to 7 nights a week or anything, but I will stay until the clubs close/they kick me out, which here is fuckin 2am OR until I pull each night. Also, no more "trying to find a party" when it's not solid.

I can party on Sunday or Monday. Tues-Sat, I am OUT!!!!

I just finished "palming" btw. I'm doing that at least 30 min a day now for my eyesight to get better. It turns out the FDA and MANY other governmental organizations (like the media) don't want you to know about natural principles of health, and you can actually re-learn to see naturally. I'm down from a -3.5 in each eye to -2.00 in each eye. And since vision is a reflection on general nervous system health, memory health, and possibly kidney and liver health and balance with nature........... I'm feeling GREAT about my improvements.

 
0 Comments | 235 Views
AZmagic
 
It's true.

I'm fucking money, and I know it because I work hard. Almost 3 months straight going out at least 5 nights a week. But I'm realizing how I've been holding back. I was getting drunk for a lot of that. Not all, but a lot. Also, if my friends wanted to leave early, then I'd go with them almost every time.

I have different goals in this than they do. I will be in the elite.

And for that I am willing to pay the price.

Also.............ha ha ha, this is fun, so, I'm not trying to get too serious. But yeah, your mind/my mind plays tricks. Almost every single night before I go out I find myself trying to come up with excuses, or to get drunk. I still go out, but then when I'm out I still look for excuses........... fuck themmmm!!!!!!!!

So, I'm not upping it to 7 nights a week or anything, but I will stay until the clubs close/they kick me out, which here is fuckin 2am OR until I pull each night. Also, no more "trying to find a party" when it's not solid.

I can party on Sunday or Monday. Tues-Sat, I am OUT!!!!

I just finished "palming" btw. I'm doing that at least 30 min a day now for my eyesight to get better. It turns out the FDA and MANY other governmental organizations (like the media) don't want you to know about natural principles of health, and you can actually re-learn to see naturally. I'm down from a -3.5 in each eye to -2.00 in each eye. And since vision is a reflection on general nervous system health, memory health, and possibly kidney and liver health and balance with nature........... I'm feeling GREAT about my improvements.

 
0 Comments | 256 Views
AZmagic
 
It makes you dream better.

Only did one approach yesterday, but it was a "hard" one. When I shook her hand she didn't let go. Daygame rocks.

I'm sooo sleeeeeepy. And I wish I had a girlfriend.

The end. 
0 Comments | 361 Views
AZmagic
 
Getting ready to run now. It gives me good feelings. It makes my game better. Listening to Kaskade as well. Yum.

Last night was a GOOD night! I saw clearly last night how NOT escalating is creepy. It was plain as day.

Escalated pretty hard on a lot of girls after that. They'll just say no or stop me if they're not into it. The girls are cool with it ha ha :D, as long as you don't suffocate them and back off if they're feeling uncomforable. It's just the guys who freak out about it all.

Lessonsssssssssssssssssss!
0 Comments | 269 Views
AZmagic
 
It feels goooooooooood man. It's called flow, and, of course, Tyler talks about it all the time.

No alcohol, no masturbating (to a certain extent), a healthy diet, exercise, getting shit done that needs to get done and then the key ingredient: Going out CONSISTENTLY, and BAM. Natural high.

If you've ever done drugs, then do this drug, because it's pure as fire, and there's no hangover.

But be warned: It's addicting, ha ha ha.

Challenge that comfort zone. Do that thing that you thought about but decided you'll look stupid. Just fuckin do it. You're going to die soon. It doesn't matter, and the short time you do have here will be better. Don't let your mind play tricks on you. YOU deep down, know what you need to do, you just gotta be willing to screw it all up, to look creepy, to be creepy, to be nervous, to be embarassed, to get told to fuck off, and you do that enough times and you mind goes: NO! I am better than this.

And then you do become better than this, to a certain extent..... at least to the extent that you are willing to NOT be "better than this."

You'll never have more than you're willing to lose.

Playa ;) 
3 Comments | 1,247 Views