It's just different now. I don't think I'll ever go back.
I usually have a different girl in bed each week... not necessarily that I'll fuck her, only fucked 2 new girls since starting back in the field so far, but I'm having after-parties with cool new people every week, and usually pulling once or more a week.
Somehow my game is just "magically" changing. I can say more things to girls and they'll like me way more easily. It doesn't even really matter what I say anymore.. they're automatically attracted and drawn in to me just by how freaking comfortable I am approaching them.
Many times they think they know me somehow, because I make them feel so comfortable, because I'm so comfortable.
I think I'm going to have to get a big-boy job though and ditch this roofing company job because I'm just not making enough money from it.
I might have to cut down to 2 nights a week from now on for a year or so, until I can figure out how to make money more passively... which I do have some outlets.
I just need to get back on my feet again, mostly. I need a new car, I need decorations for my house, a TV... stuff.
I want to be able to travel a bit.
And once I'm making money, I'll invest it in this company I know of and I should be good in a year.
I have to remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint.
My vibe is slowly changing. I'm becoming more and more centered, more confident.
I look at others and they look back at me with more questions than I have.
I can't wait to go out sober tonight.
I can't wait to meet more girls, to get more in the zone, to feel all the ups and downs of the night.
It's less and less about the results now, and more about the act of doing it that I love. Not that results don't matter, because they do! Results are cool little markers on the journey to remember how far we've come. You hook up with a new girl, you lose a girl, you try an edgy line and watch the mayhem run its course...
Going out is almost like a way to cheat the system and cram more life experience into our short existences. That's why when you go out for only 6 weeks you can already see a massive increase in your skill levels, especially when you're newish.
Even though last year I went out 5 days a week for 8 months out of 12... and this year I've skipped 3 and a half months, but gone out virtually every other night other than that 3 month gap, I still feel like a newbie in many ways. I'm finally un-learning so many bad habits I'd picked up. My reaction time is decreasing.
I hesitate less.
My eye-contact is even more solid.
I lead more.
A typical night for me usually looks like me making out with a two or three girls, getting two or three numbers, and having usually one 30-45 minute interaction with a really cool girl.
I think my main "sticking point" right now would just be meeting up with these girls in a setting conducive to leading to sex.. I just need to invite them out with me. Blamo. Not rocket science.
It's funny to watch the nerdy weirdos out at parties or in the club or wherever and see him trying so hard and realizing that I was that guy a year and a half ago. I want to help him out so bad... and also, I want to get the hell away from him haha.
But I'll try to write more FRs here, more insights more often.
Errand day. I told the guy at the register that's what today is, and he asked, "What do you do for a living?" "I sell life insurance," I responded. "You like it?" "I love it."
This week I'm creating an imbalance of focusing on my work. I'll only be going out Saturday night (I'm planning ahead this way). I've got to get my finances straightened out, and until my vision is clear again, I'm dedicated to getting 8 hours of sleep a night. So, until I've gotten my finances straightened out, taxes paid, credit card debt paid and a few thousand in savings, I'm focusing on that.
I've hit it hard the last couple weeks, and had my best nights so far.
I love my life.
I haven't been able to say that every day. But I can say it now. I'm happy. I woke up this morning excited to be alive and excited for the day. Wow! What a difference.............. it's night and day.
Action is the name of the game. Action towards specific, measurable, time-based goals.
I'm on an exciting journey.
So, the biggest thing on my menu right now is balancing my work and going out. Other than those 2 things, I only need about 2 and a half hours MAX to work out, read, and do my relaxation/meditation activities. I broke up with my ex for good. It was the first time I'd broken up with her in person as opposed to the telephone or whatever.
Sometimes I think about writing here and I know that she knows I have this blog and she might go on the site to see what I'm doing and it stops me from blogging, but I don't even care anymore.
It's been two weeks solid back in the game, 6 nights last week, 5 this week. I'm running my best sets ever, doing my best approaches ever. I haven't gotten laid yet, but I did pull Thursday night, and I've been getting numbers and makeouts too fast to keep up with (almost).
I love the game. I also love what money buys me. I love working out and eating right and reading and doing my relaxations/mediations, but those things don't consume much time.
I'm signed up for the Hotseat in Atlanta in June, and I can't fucking wait!
I just have to figure out a balance between work and going out.... I want it all. I want to be rich & I want tons of hot girls. Hmmmmmm....... I also want 8 or 9 hours of sleep a night, at least until my vision clears up... which may be a few more months.
Help!!! I've gotta figure this out.
Wow. Be careful of making a vow............... honestly, I broke mine. I thought I'd be able to commit to two years of seven nights/week but I just wasn't ready for it. I cracked.
And I went back with my ex for just over a month. It ended today. I can't not go out at this point in my life, I just need to pace myself a little. 5 nights a week is plently. 6 is working hard. 7 is a true challenge when done several weeks in a row. Anyways, I went out tonight. Just like I'll keep going out 5 or 6 nights a week from now on. I'm not pressing myself to 7 nights at this point. I'm sure I will one day, just not now.
3 approaches. Ok................. one 3 minute or so convo, 1 almost kiss ha ha. I told her that I played the violin and I would serenade the shit out of her. She liked that. And finally, one girl who remembered my name and kept saying it over and over. Hmm, ok.
It was a short night, partly cuz it's damn cold tonight (gotta get some of that thermal underwear), and partly cuz I really just wanted to do 3 approaches and kind of warm up. Like a workout after being sick for a while or something.
Tomorrow night's gonna be fun ;)
Cool way to start out my two-year committment, for sure.
She's not my first pick, but she had style. A 5... But hey, you gotta celebrate the small successes, too, right?
I had actually met her maybe 5 months ago at the same venue, we had exchanged numbers. She had seen me making out with another girl and acted really pissed because I had unsuccessfully tried to make out with her 10 minutes or so beforehand...
So she knew I was a whore. A respectably successful man whore.
We exchanged numbers again, since we had both deleted each other, and I got a text from her at 2:03am: "What are you doing tonight?"
Called her when I left the club, and invited her to my place. She said I should come to hers, so I did.
And we made love.
Way to "Christen" my two-year committment. Also, I wrote a couple days ago that I was getting laid this week for sure, so whaddya know?
7 nights a week. Here we come. FRs and stuff to come..................................................... this will not be easy.
But usually if it is then it isn't worth it anyway.
I didn't go out the last couple nights because I've been sick........ ugh, god this sucks.
Well, I was asking for it with what I was eating and other stuff so lesson learned.
This week I will be hitting it hard though.......... I'm getting laid this week.
And we don't see with only our eyes.
I've been improving my vision lately, and it's involved a process of getting in touch with my emotions, feelings, and other sensations in my body.
I'm excited about doing this "love letters" exercise I found in one of my vision books that was taken originally from the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I haven't read it, but it is now on my list, as this execise seems to be amazingly valuable. I can already anticipate the emotional release.
I'm probably pre-gamin tonight before heading out. My friend has liquor, so I'm inviting several people over before we go out. He's got a girlfriend now, it seems, so it's a little sad on the one hand, as we're not going to be exactly on the same page like before, but I'm also really happy for him.
I might be sseing my ex tomorrow or the next day.......... I'm interested to see how that will be.
I want to start going out Mondays as well now. I'm feeling the difference in the consistent going out, staying until 2am with no alcohol, and I'm feeling myself become more centered each day. It comes through my eyes.
It's only been 3 months since I've been consistently going out 5 nights a week at least, so I can barely imagine how good I'll be in 9 months from now.
I love this fucking game so much.
The changes right now are subtle. I haven't gotten laid in about a month, so on the one hand it's like, wtf, where are the results? But on the other hand, I can feel the steady improvement, and I KNOW the results are inevitable.
I do want to get laid soon though, ha ha. :D
Here's to a great night, and to beautiful women!
Have I mentioned how awesome it is to be graduated? Life is 1,000,000x better.
I HATED that place like a prisoner hates prison. But whatever now. Done.
2nd day of work today.
I love how simple my life is now. I go to work, I go to the club, I exercise, journal, read, meditate (a sort of meditation), and play my guitar. I eat healthy, and sleep amply.
I love my job, love my life.
My biggest challenges just take patience and time, consistent effort, feeling all my emotions....... clearing my vision, realizing abundance with women, maintaining fitness of body and mind (all related), nurturing my relationships with friends and family, and at this point it's really just about discovery, appreciation, and being willing to go deeper.
I have no worries right now. No real "deadlines" to be stressed about........ in a way, I'm living the dream.
And it's all a state of mind.