awesome_steve's Blog

Watched this video from Julien.

Towards the he talks about STOP focusing on getting good emotions (ie. seeking validation) and instead focusing on the practicle side.


I had a little success lately (a very smooth and chill interaction by AlexRSD's book - first time I actually tried NOT TO KISS in a club. It was with a 20-year old pharmcy student who turned out to be a virgin on the lay-date) and I guess was getting far too outcome dependant.

That's why my interactions have been heavily geared towards cracking jokes ie. button pushing and getting girls to laugh and make me feel good.

18 year old @ SandintheCity - Too much cockyfunny and self-amusement; too much horny touchy vibe. Should have focused on being real in the moment and qualifying and getting her to invest. We made plans to go for a cruise in the car and hangout on Sunday (today). She sent the typical flaky polite autoresponse text messages.

First my wing and I were like "fuck this immature shit. This girl has got no integrity."
But know I can understand.
It's about me being miscalibrated - being to physical when we bumped into each other at the bar and not giving her the necessary amount of comfort and trust she needed to feel safe.

Tall Austrian Airlines "cabin attendant" @ Volksgarten - Again got lost in "getting the good emotions" - We had quite an extended conversation for a place like Volksgarten - Vienna's premier high-end Club where most high-heeled girls have an attention span of only 20 seconds. Hence, I was really surprised, felt validated and got hooked on cracking jokes, push-pulling. In that sense however, it went so well that she didn't leave even when her 2 friends went off to the dancefloor. She was so aroused by my jokes that she was hitting my lap all the time. She actually accidentally hit my balls at one point ;) (She was a full head taller than me so I sat up on the bar)

Should have focused more on building comfort and getting to know her as a real person. Less YOU-IT and more YOU-ME conversation!
Next time - at least say "it was great fun talking with you" and go for a number just for the sake of being a CLOSER!

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Little Germany Tour 2011 - AKA The  Tale of the Awkward Study-Buddy

I had to fly to Duesseldorf in Germany on short notice because the opportunity to buy a nice used Volvo V50 super cheap arised. And I really badly needed a car having cycled my way home from the clubs virtually all summer.

So off to Duesseldorf and on to what's supposedly “longest bar-street of the world”. Thursday night, no clue whats happening so i cold approach a mixed group of 5 architecture students. The guys respond really well and ask me to join them in on of the cheesy touristy bars. Everyone has barely been studying for a month in town so nobody knows about any other serious gigs on a thursday.

One of the girls leave pretty early with one of the guys – They have to catch the last train back to freakin Cologne. Yup, some students have to commute every day to Uni! So I'm left with 2 chodes and 1 tall blond chick.

I make a half hearted attempt to ask some other girls in the bar wether they know anything about whats cool on thursday. Nope. Nobody is actually from this darn place.

I chit chat with the guys, they give me props after finding out that I'm a wedding photographer and that I'm already 31.
At some point, the blond chick - who i have pretty much been ignoring for the most part - BLATANTLY out of the blue says to my face: ”You're such a PLAYER!” I shrug and respond: “Ummm.... yeah, that's totaly okay.”

Later on she's actually mishearing stuff I she in a very sexual way:”SEX-Club? Ohhh... You mean't JAAAZZ Club hahaha ;) “
She progresses to go on throwing shits test at me by pointing out that she's supposedly toghether with one of her study mates, and then she remarks that she actually having 3somes with both of the chodes. I ignore it completely like I didn't hear it.

Ahhaaa... okie dokie. Tall german blond chick likes me. Umm, how am I supposed to escalate with her 2 study buddies breathing down her neck?

Especially, how do I pull it of without the guys feeling awkward, after having befriended and go on with them really well? Fucking awkward situation!

Later on they're dancing on the little floor of the chode tourist bar. One of the guys is in another set. I ask the 2nd guy to just disappear to the toilet or the bar and give us 5 mins. I try to isolate and escalate on her, but by now she already weirded out.

Window of opportunity has closed. Finito. I spent the last hour of the night giving one of the guys a few approach pointers. He digs me direct style ;)

Day 2 – Frankfurt

If you ever end up in Frankfurt, you have to stay in Room 702, Penthouse of the stylish 5 Elements Hostel in the middle of the freakin' red light district – the CBD and old town center is just 15 mins walk away – It's so bizarre!!!

Cocoon, is the biggest dissapointment. 15,- Euros cover. Don't go there on a friday unless you REALLY like Minimal/Electro Shit.
Velvet. 10 Euros. The club is just one big loud dancefloor and talking is virtually impossible.
DJ Kid Rock was an awesome DJ though. He gave he a CD of his compliations.

Day 3 – Frankfurt

Super preppy Apartment Club – This place is a small stylish club with an apartment theme, very similar to MyHouse in Hollywood. I get sent back to the car to change into dress shoes for the first time in 3 years. Wow, this can only be a nice club!

The preppy kids in Frankfurt are a lot more socially open than the ones back home in Vienna. I get chatted up by random guys. It's fairly easy to strike up random conversations with them. It's a very small scene here, they tend to introduce you to their lady friends.

One of the preppy kids is a half britisch/half chinese student named Phillipp, who aparently lived quite a while in HongKong. His Chinese alleles were obviously extreme recessive – He doesn't look chinese a bit, so he goes on to show off his cantonese skills. Very authentic. I'm impressed.

Later on, I'm chatting to the only black guy the club in the smokers room. Philipp walks in and introduces a small cute blonde chick in hotpants and high heels. I immediately get up and engage full frontal.
She's into my banter immediately and asks me questions about what car I bought and about my job as a wedding photographer full of glimmer in her cute eyes ;)

Philipp interruptes intermittently and talk about some webshop he wants to do and asks me what product photography would cost with me.

At some point I escalate to say: You guys look like siblings, but your eyes are prettier than his.
This is where she makes it clear that she uncomfortable with me saying it in front of her study-buddy who then progresses to mack on her all night in a super needy way. Shame, I actually he was a fun abundant-minded guy. Anyway, it can only be discribed as fucking AWKWARD situation.

They move of the dancefloor. Philipp is going all dancing monkey on little cutie.

Later on, I see her really moody and annoyed. Then she's gone and Philipp is looking for her cause SHE is HIS ride home cause they live in the same suburb.

SHIT. What is this? Should I not be befriending the guys anymore?
I know I should be doing more cold approaches anyway, but the what the fuck do you do when the guys is actually a really nice chap?

Later on, a drunk set (see lessons learned). Nothing remarkable after that.

Looking back. Here are  The Lessons learned:

Duesseldorf – Longest Bar street

If you're going to ask girls about places, at least introduce yourself and your “one-night-only” situation. Otherwise they will think that “Wheres-the-party-tonight” is your tacky opener line.

If the girl is blatanly teasing you with crap like: “You're a player.” “I'm together with this guy... We're having a threesome”, she is obviously painfully asking you to make a MOVE.

Either try to isolate her the dance area and make out with her.

Or simply say:”shut the fuck up” and go in for the kiss right at the bar in front of her male study-buddy friends.

Don't drive people back to their flats. Your time is more valueble. Okay, the car was "new" and needed a warming ;)

Frankfurt - 1st Night

Always do your research YOURSELF. In advance. 
It matters, what music the club plays and how the club is split up, and whether they have  a dresscode.
No, you cannot use the concierge if you're not a resident at the Intercont hotel... even if its just for club guestlist purposes! Yes, shops are closed on sundays, even in Frankfurt.

Frankfurt  2nd Night - Apartment Club

Drunk set - plough physically and emotionally. Stay in set. Reapproach and plough if interrupted.
If the Fatty Friend says: she's a little weary because her ex-boyfriend got together with an asian girl, just respond: "Well it must be her lucky day then, cause now we can payback!"

Philipp, the Half Britisch, half Hongkongnese dude - Isolate his lady friend. But how? The club was literally as big as the reception of a youth hostel.

Do NOT befriend the loner guy - he will eventually end up as the DRUNK loner guy and he will only mess up things for you. Anyone walking around with a bottle of vodka on his own is a potential for problems later on!

3 a.m. is too late for "Hi, whats your name" openers. Especially on the dancefloor. Gotta go physical game.

Always, cold approach the first girls you see right at the beginning of the night.

Do not go into comfort-social-circle mode right off the bat or you will end up as a comfort-social-circle-chode at the end of the night!

SNL game means going in hard and being fucking ICE!

Any thoughts? Looking forward to your comments!
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