Love Machine

Awesome F
Enough of my time has been spent fighting and going uphill. It seems like everything I have ever done has been an uphill battle again and again. Sure I have some success but nothing like what want which is ego success. I hate this sounds so weak like quitter talk however not liking it will not make it go away. The only way I currently know how to improve is to face the demons and deal with the under lying. One very important question I need to answer am I ready for a relationship. I will give it to the End of the year. And if by next year I feel the same then a big change is in order and no long term until I am ready.
Back to being the chode. What is the chode? I see the chode as the false me, the me I show to protect the real me the inner me, the child. To become a man the chode must die, the child must die. How to kill a chode.......?
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