The Awaker's Blog

The Awaker
So I was working my job today, being more social with everybody, trying to stay in the moment of things and out of my head. It was pretty busy today, made a lot of sells in the lawn and garden department as well as furniture so time was going by pretty fast and I still had my own section I needed to fix up and keep tiddey which was totally fucked up.

So coming close to closing time, I see a hot blonde that's a 7 walk through the door. I try to give her eye contact, and then I go in my head thinking about what I'll say to her when she gets into close proximity of me. At that point it just occured to me that I had to piss kind of bad, and I see her there looking at the clothes. I walk upstairs to go piss and as I do what nature calls, I keeping thinking about what I'll say to her. I was thinking that when I came down starts I could just walk start up to her and give her simple greeting and then compliment her. So I come down the stairs and she's gone...I panic a little. Then I walk to another part of the store and I see her looking at make-up. I cringe and I walk away from her trying to think of a better way I could approach her. So then I get over to my section and start touching everything up while still thinking about the 7. At this point I'm just waiting for her to come by my section to have an excuse to talk to her. A little time passes and I see her coming my way, I immediately make an effort to make it look like I'm busy and I keep telling myself if she gets any closer to me that I'll talk to her. Well, because of my major hesitation I get called to the front to help some customers with heavy items. That took all my time away from talking to her, but it's my fault alone and not my co-worker that called me. By the time I get done helping out the customers...I see that the 7 is in line, getting ready to check out. By then I told myself it was too late. I was too afraid to go up and talk to her in front of my co-workers and the other customers standing around.

I sit here on my video rocker typing up this blog...and all I think about is that i could've really done something with her as far as approaching goes. I had so many things to work in my favor had I'd open her and more than likely a positive response would've resulted
and I could've used lots of time constraints since I was at my job and I was getting called on. Gotten her number and been done with it. But no, instead here I am fucking up what I learned and endured in bootcamp. I know I'm just beating the living shit out of myself now but man sometimes I think that I am impossible. What the hell is wrong with me?! Why can't I do this shit?! What the fuck am I going to do with myself man?! God damn it...I'm going to the take my mind of this for a bit. I love life.
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