Just read TD's new post. He advocates stepping up and fulfilling your values in life so you can acheive AWARENESS and get closer to your CORE. Fair enough. He also views most people as dead, because they mainly value security, and would sacrifice their awareness for it. Makes sense. I look around me, and see that it's probably true. Most people I know just want to live their lives comfortably, I don't know many ambitious risk-takers. Nothing wrong with that.
As for my VALUES -- What's important to me right now is the preservation of my health, the security of my family, and being the person I want to be. I want to be able to deal with the reality in front of me and bring my best to everyone I meet. Having all the external things in the world is nice, but it means nothing it doesn't bring me closer to understanding myself. I'm still going to chase external things like LOVE/CONNECTION and MONEY, but only because I know the journey will bring me to a higher realization of who I am.
Pickup, School, and Business are just Games - like hobbies for me, endeavors that I have chosen due the the lack of masculine rituals in this society. So I'm going to do what I love (hustle), get the right people in my life , and build a successful business. Through that I will cultivate the habit of consistency and be able to do even more with my life and be of service to others. :)
I feel good right now, a little bit manic and therefore in the mood to write. Let's get down to business.
I want to record my thoughts on a public forum because it encourages me to be accountable as well as up my standards of writing. Back in the day I would write a lot, but I had very little experience, so most of what I said was just regurgitated mush. My standard is a lot higher now. I'm going to post field reports up here regularly regardless of whether I feel like it's good or not, because it let's me "relive the movie" again so I can see where I could have improved. I don't have great memory so it's hard for me to remember mistakes or accomplishments in detail.
I will be consistent. Not many guys can say that about themselves. I am consistent.
Okay, so the past few weeks have been almost hard for me to take in. I was texting this girl that I had a thing with while I'm on the bus to this college party. She's telling me how she wishes I could be that guy she needs in her life right now. I think, cool, she still likes me.. I still have a shot with her. At the party, I meet this new girl who I end up staying over with. The thrill of meeting and hooking up with a new girl is incomparable with anything else I've experienced. It's like going on a rollercoaster ride. I love it.
I we hook up after talking for two hours. It's obvious that she's into me, though I still have a little voice in the back of my head doubting myself - I squash it and move on. We hook up and she puts on token resistance. She ends up taking everything off herself. "So are you gonna take it off or not?" Always go for it. The kiss. The feeling up. The bra. Everything. The Man is the Mover. The women will resist initially, but that must not deter you.
She gives me head the morning after. I go down on her. I finally did it. She wouldn't have intercourse because of personal reasons, but we did everything else. I saw her last night and made her cum with my fingers. This was my first real sexual experience. I was hyped at the time, it made sex seem like not a big deal. Ever since I first got into college, sex was something I expected to just happen. There were numerous opportunities I had presented to me in the past four years (even in high school) but I just didn't take them... because I was prude. But that frustration made me study pickup literature and enlightened me, making me more self-aware, improving my fashion, body language, speech. So I don't regret any of it. But the most important thing I realized is that it's NOT a big deal. Talking to girls and having sex isn't a big deal at all. You don't have as much control as you think. You talk to a lot of girls, look for the ones who are down, and go for it. Not working? Keep going for it. Work on yourself. I watch how players act, I model their swag and speech and as a result create something that's my own.
What I realized is that it's important that I trust my own understanding of past experiences instead of doing something that I read. When I see something done, I see it as objectively as possible and then make sense out of it. Otherwise, none of what I read will make sense. Positive reference experiences are the way to understanding. To get there, I just "I'm the shit" and go hard, so I can get these expereinces for myself.
Another important realization for me is that everything I do must be rooted in my own reality. Everything I do must be something that adds to my reality. I am the master of my reality. Everyone else is a mere guest. All value I give must come from someone with a strong reality. This is something I've done before but only recently understood. What I thought was crazy and obnoxious is just what successful people do. All successful and charismatic people live in their own world and project it outwards. They don't look for other realities to latch onto. I am now internally validated and I live in my world. No one will give me what I want so I have to take it. I became a lot more confident in my reality when I lived with friends instead of staying at home or at school, which anchours many negative emotions. It was only through being in a social environment in which I was comfortable with myself that I realized that people were attracted to me. It was never the environment, but rather my behaviors that caused the attraction.
Once I went back to school, I had these new behaviors internalized and had people attracted to me. But my frame wasn't strong enough so I'd still need state boosts or friends with me to be able to fully assert myself. Because that's all it is. When I assert my frame in a fun way, I get attraction. It's the way I would act if I was in my house, with all my friends around me. That's the way I should be all the time.
All I need is consistency. To internalize consistency.
Overcome fears + Consistency = SUCCESS
It's not going to feel good at first, but it'll be so worth it. It's a mentality that I need to CULTIVATE in myself. It's how I will get the women I want, how I will get great grades in school, how I will create a successful business, how I will have the right people in my life, how I will become a great speaker.
That means I have to go out and socialize every single day, with the goal of desesensitizing myself to social pressure and meeting cool people. It means I have to study for hours a day and get help from professors and tutors. It means I will have to make contacts everywhere so I can find job connections, buff up my resume and hand it in at every store, far and near. It means I will have to join toastmasters and become used to being the center of attention in the room, regardless if I'm already good at it or not.
There's so much I want to do right now and I just hope I'm alive to see myself achieve it all.
I need to control the input that goes into my head, as well as body, so I can maximize OUTPUT. There's NO TIME TO WASTE. LIFE IS FOR THE TAKING.
I feel down right now because of whats happened recently involving this girl that i was involved with last month. I should just let it go. she's replaceable. I looked at how my friends escalate touching and teasing. so i started doing it myself. that's all it is. Eye contact, projecting voice, smiling, being playful, not being detered by bullshit girl throws at you, controlling the convo, being able to just be chill. going for the kiss. dominating her.
it's easy stuff. as soon as i started being more aggressive, i got girls. this one girl now is acting weird. i make plans with her but she makes excuses and doesn't seem glad to see me even she wants me to know her more. i already forgot about jap girl, she still flirts with me. last night at a party she had her head on my shouler, i put her knee on my lap and I had a three way makeout. that was when i decided to be a full blown player and fuck being mr nice guy.
i will try to get in the pants of every decent looking girl i lay my sights on. all i'm going to focus on from now til school ends in december is HEALTH, SCHOOL, NETWORKING and SEX. I feel like if I put this to the side, I will be depressed forever. Maybe I'm not seeing things straight right now, but I can't believe I'm still where I'm at right now. All this PU literature floating in my head, when I all I had to do was be cool and push push push.
I have to make this a priority in my life. Of course HEALTH and FAMILY are above all. But other than that, SCHOOL and SEX. These are the two GAMES i will master. OTher kids play Halo and Solitaire. I'm playing this game. I'm a player. I'm going to contact a bunch of chicks I already know, make friends with new ones. Be nce and outgoing, hang out at the dorm, take them to my place and BANG.
I feel like after I thought I had this one girl hooked, I lost motivation and started believing that since she liked me I could just chill and not be socially dominant anymore. I did this with my last LTR, I rested my confidence on them, I should be confident because of who I am and what I've done. Not over some emotional, silly insecure chick. I took it too seriously. I had a breakdown the other day and even cried over this girl.
I'm going to be a player. THat means I will flirt and be touchy with everyone. I will not apologize for my desires as a man. I remember having her a over and thinking I shouldn't fuck her because she probably wouldn't want to go that FAST. WHAT? What kind of world do i live in? she invited herself over prob wanting me to fuck her, and i could have barreled thru it. spanish guys i hang with fuck chicks all the time. it's not a big deal to them, they don't put analysis in it and see it as a big deal. chick is DTF, so fuck em.
I will emulate their good parts, such as their projection of confidence (swag, speech, indifferent attitude) and get their results. i'm SMARTER than them and will WORK HARDER than them. I need to have my mind motivated on a worthy goal or I just lose myself. FOCUS on this. I'll get it. FUck PU theory and LIVE MY LIFE. See the world thru my eyes...
I'm the one. I see the girls I want. I'll get them. Even if it means creeping out a whole bunch, I'll get it. I'll go out every night for the next two years if I have to. I won't be uptight and scared like I used to be once upon a time. I know who I am and people will accept my frame. Endless repetition. Master of my world.
I grew up so introverted and shy. Now I'm becomign the opposite. The person I want to be is extrovert, socially dominant, positive, and a master of his reality. I'm a great public speaker and communicator and awesome with women.
I'm going to start posting here everyday to track my progress. Measuring my progress is the only way to see where i'm at.
I'm in college right now and there's huge opportunity for networking. One month has passed and I've gotten a make out. And that was right before school started. But I should be sticking to improving habits rather than looking for outcome. Root everything in the practical.
There's this jap chick that I've been talking to. Had her over twice already. Next time the plan is to kino and get her up with me asap. Build connection throughout the weekday thru texts. Use futures stuff on breakthru comfort. She's a party chick that craves attention so seeing other girls that want me should get her off. Invite plenty girls over.
What I thought was needy and obvious isn't so. I've fucked up only from not bring aggressive enough and phase shifting. Never from overescalating. Keep going til she says no. I have mental blocks that serve no purpose. Do hypnoticas social pressure exercise to get in present mindset.
Focus on my world and getting what I want. Slowly. From there I gain confidence in my reality.
This month, do work on jap, Chinese med hb, Vietnamhb,
what I did right this month was start good habits, plan future events, I was more social, I escalated with girls, made some new contacts. I started off asserting my reality nut then fell back to bad analytical observing habits that serve me nothing. I'm more aware of frame control and am cultivating my style and sense of humor. I realize a lot of bad though habits and know I need much more social exp controlling frames. I'm going to toastmasters this Friday.
Game as I understand it now is just projecting how cool u are, being able to tell a chick is into u, emotionally arousing her while escalating kino, get her comfortable being with u while keeping the sexual tension on, pass tests, go caveman on her. Set the frame that u both want the same thing and lead her to it.
Say "Hi" to everyone I've seen on campus
Start conversations with everybody in my class. Use ANY excuse.
Join clubs, be outgoing and interesting.
Create social circle of girls (harem), social cirlce of naturals I go out with (players), social circle of ambitious academics that I can study and work with (academia).
In college, I feel like the way I have to approach things is to join clubs, be very outgoing and friendly so I get social proofed, from there I can get a bunch of numbers and invite everyone to hangout. I should be constantly networking during college... Whenever I'm not studying or eating, I should be in a conversation. Filter out the girls that like me, and arrange a hangout with them. No wine and dine bullshit, just hangout. I have an apartment on campus, this is a piece of cake.
Rutherford circle: slackers, one guy has money, the others leech off him and party at his place. I can still go to meet the girls they bring. met a lot of girls through this group. I can meet the girls, and meet up with them in the city or Newark.
NJIT circle: Nerdy tech guys mainly. Good kids. Not very fun to hang out with, but they're prob more future-orientated than most of my friends. If I take over this group, I'll be the top dog. (Study/Party Group)
115 Social Circle: My roomies. My landlord is ambitious, but very socially inept. I can go out with my roommate, who I can possibly learn from. (Study Group)
Rutgers Circle: A lot of good people in this group. I should get closer with the couples in this group, since they're good people and I can do double dates with them. All the girls in this group are taken or undesirable. I can still pivot them. This is probably going to be my main group to fall back on. I should be the top dog in this group so everyone is needing me somehow. (Study group)
There's this big player in one of my classes that I should hang out with just for the sake of learning. We might even become good friends in the process. I just have to have value to bring to the table. (Player Group)
FSA Circle: I'm going to check this out, and see if I can advance up in this group despite being not Flip. If I lead the men, the women will follow.
KCCC Circle: I want to be apart of this just for the network plus they're great people. Just to make friends.
I don't think it's possible to have an all-female group... I'd just have to meet girls thru the circle and then isolate them. All my past conquests have been that way. At a family cruise. At a friend's house party. At a birthday party. At friend's house. I meet the circle. Hold back interest at first - challenging. She sees I'm really fun. She chases, I go for it. It's ALWAYS been done that way.
I just have to see things for what they truly are, and exist in my own reality.
I've looked at many pick up methods and schools of thought and I have no doubt that RSD is where it's at. Natural Game is the future. I hang out with naturals who get laid and have NEVER ever touched pickup material.
Techniques and routines work as training wheels, and we all use our own routines whether we realize it or not. But the fact of the matter is that under the surface level, it's not the lines that attract the girl. This has been established and cannot be disputed.
The natural aspects attract the girl.
I used have a hard time believing in what RSD teaches, but as I've read and gone out, I've gained the reference experiences necessary to FEEL how real it is.
Right now, the Blueprint is the cutting edge of PU knowledge and along with fundamentals taught in Foundations, is all that is needed to PU.
I realized recently that I'm addicted to reading and watching RSD and just PU related products in general. It's like I'll just spend hours studying it, when just going out and chatting up people would help me so much more. I know it's an addiction because I'll find myself doing it and just not want to stop. Sort of like the same way people check their facebook or e-mail numerous times in an hour.
This is hazardous to my life, especially with finals coming up. Just like any addiction, so I'm going to abstain until 2010. That's about three weeks. I'm going to do an orgasm abstinence too, just to test my endurance, even though I highly doubt it'll work out (haha). It might amp up my sexuality and make me more resilient when talking to women, I don't know.
I've read Tyler's old "How to Implement a Habit" post and I'm going to list my new routines for accountability. I think of what I could have been if I had implement effective habits earlier and just moan inside. But I think of what I can be by the next six months and just smile on the inside. You are your habits.
1. 10 approaches a day - this is easy since I dorm on campus. Of course I'm going to push it that extra 20% everytime.
2. 5 phone calls a day - to work on my phone game. Abundance mentality, no girl should matter much to me. I should be calling them in rotation.
3. Gym/Run twice a week - I'll do it even though I have exams coming up, even if it's minimal, because the important thing is to show up and root this habit.
4. 50 push ups/ 30 sit ups every other day - Because I won't always have access to the gym. I'll be doing this regardless of if I workout or not.
5. Study/Read 2 hours a day - I'm behind in my studies so I need this as a habit. Even when I'm done with school, I'm going to be reading everyday.
6. Learn new Chinese phrase everyday - This is very important. I'm looking for a Chinese buddy to practice with.
I'm going to be telling everyone I know about this so I'll have to be accountable and not out of doing anything of this when the time comes. I'll be adding more all the time. I'm really looking forward to pushing pass the initial slump and getting the J-curve.
Okay, so I got off RSDNation before college started in September because I felt that I needed to focus on other things. I didn't stop studying social dynamics (game) but I did stay away from RSD. I remember when I first got my hands on this Natrual Game stuff, and (at least unconsciously) I thought that it was bullshit. Like, I would read it and think that it had to be mental masterbation. The view of reality couldn't resonate with this stuff actually working or at least seeing myself use it successfully. So it confused me more than anything.
So I spend the summer reading Tyler's archive, which is primarily outer-game based (from the days he used to be tactic-heavy). I started trying some of the tactics here and there and to my suprise, they actually worked. It shattered my reality. Over time, I realized WHY they worked. And over time, I realized WHY it's important (though not always necessary in some cases) to move away from Routine-based game and just to become Natural. I was exposed to the Blurprint back in February and 8 months later I fully understand why the Blueprint is the pinnacle of acheivement in this community.
This community began in NLP and routines. Now natural game is all the rage. And rightly so, because routines are just surface-level. The Blurprint is about what's really going on - the matrix of social dynamics. I'm grateful that a product as awesome as the Blueprint is out on the market right now, I can't imagine where I'd be now if I wasn't exposed to this material. Thank you, RSD.
So now, I'm back in full swing and I'm going to keep myself accountable. I'm going to try and post on this board every day. I love the positive and progressive vibe this board gives off. We're not an army of horny men using creepy NLP. We're just a cool fraternity of guys who want an abundant lifestyle.
Recently, I've been thinking about what my personal STICKING POINTS are...
I would have to say kiss-closing is my current SP. I can approach targets fairly well and open. Hitting the "hook point" is a minor issue for me. #closing is easy, but it's not a numbers game -- the #close is merely the bridge. Sometimes I "blank out" and feel as if I have nothing to offer. Kiss-closing is still my biggest obstacle because I don't do it on a consistent basis.
I've come to this conclusion. No techniques or tactics will aid me at this point. If I had a DEEP IDENTITY LEVEL CHANGE then my SP's would AUTO-CORRECT themselves. My sense of entitlement, confidence in my individuality, dominance, etc etc. If I could just SHIFT my reality, then it'd feel NATURAL to open, hook, escalate, kino, isolate, kiss-close, extract, !close, etc etc. It'd just be ME being ME.