I just graduated college recently and I want to get good at game. I live in NJ, not far from manhattan. How do you recommend I start off with learning game?
Depends on where you're starting from? In general, most guys who get good (who aren't good to begin with) do it by:
a) going out a ton and opening 100+ sets a month, b) always analyzing their sets and improving, and c) getting coaching from qualified instructors.
There's obviously more to it than just that, but that's the trend i've noticed from guys who end up getting good. Very, VERY few guys get good who aren't already good if they don't follow those steps.
I went out last night to chill with friends in Tonic bar in the city. I remember in the beginning of the day I hit up some ppl on facebook and jsut didnt have the motivation to continue talking to some ppl who weren't responsive. Fuck it it's just FB. I should practice my phone game while at home because it forces me to be in the moment and develop my conversational skills.
I go out and I feel out of state, but I still socialize with people regardless. Talk with HBJap, who I found out had sex last month. Dude, that guy should be ME. I should have nailed her when I had the chance. I felt frustrated, here I was at home moping about being bored, when people are getting laid. I become inert at home. I have to be more positive and motivated by social success. Social is more important than anything. I don't have happy, uplifting people around me at home, that's why I get down.
I know I have to be stronger and internally centered, but I need people better than me who are on this self-improvement journey as well. We're social creatures, we need interpersonal support. My family isn't enough.
I want to practice TKD to improve my inner game and reaction but I don't have nearby training so I might have to take on weight training. I prefer something liek bball but it's impossible in this weather.
-Harvesting my contacts and building social circle
Wow, I haven't had female contact in what seems like forever. I cant take this anymore..... I'm going to have a breakdown if I don't get it. I get to meet up with this little cutie from Marlboro tommorow. Gonna take things physical. And if i go to this house party I'll be sure to do work.
went out yesterday to chill wuth bro's friends. this crew is really low-energy and don't have similar interests as me.
i keep thinking about opening sets whenever im out. so far all my results have come from social circle. i'd gotten a couple numbers since going out in december. i should harvest and D2 those. i should be talking to people all day. that's the only way for me to become more social. i need these references uploaded in my head.
WHAT YOU DO IF SOMEONE STUCK A GUN TO YOUR HEAD AND SAID U HAD TO GET LAID?
that should be my mentality.
-stay in set 90% of day
-focus on setting up D2's (Get laid or die trying style)
-look for wings better than myself
I should stop going out with guys with no game, they only bog me down and i feel like i have to take care of them. No point. Im into self-improvement, and if I feel like you're not smart or ambitious enough to keep up, then you have no value for me. Peace. Life is too short. I need a Mastermind group of friends who can benefit ffrom out shared expereince.
went to retreat lounge, it was too crowded so i went with the boys over to ktown and talked.
new years eve. chilled in jrole's room all day and then dressed up and hit the city. tried out new faux hawk look. im sticking with it! we get to ktown and join andrew wang's table to celebrate nye. i talked to this cute chinese girl and got her number. we were playing this finger game, good way to break the ice and control the frame. i was social with everyone so she thought that i knew everyone and came to the bar a lot. i'm going to D2 her.
p approached a 3set outside. white girl makes out with him. her BT is high, but her friends get dragged away by these korean douches.
i meet this texan/spanish player who tells me how easy it is to get girls in texas but pickup is hard in the city. he doesn't give a shit and has no AA at all. he compliments groups of girls walking down the street and tells me how he fucked a girl in the bathroom earlier in the night. he's not good looking and is really goofy. but fearless and out of his head. very aggressive. that's what i need to be. stop analyzing, stop making excuses, and just creep out hundreds of girls. that is the only way to get good. i cant intellectualize this shit. lesson learned.
creep out girls. be aggressive. stop caring. what is MY OBJECTIVE?
i went to the city with jrole and met up with oleg and his gf later. i kept thinking about how i just have to be myself in the purest way and be aggressive. be a man. fuck all pua theory. i think way too much. i was at dave and busters getting depressed because all i can think about all day is having a girlfriend and how much that would change my life. its made me lose all joy in my life. it's made me lose joy in small things like toys and games.. it's like everyone is about getting the girl now.. i used to have a external pillar of reality and im only recently getting internally centered. so it's like my reality is fucked up and wired in a weird way. i just have to understand that i'm the one and i have to live in my reality and condition my mind to be positive. it's in me. i know it is. i just have to stop hiding from myself and confront my fears head on.
i need to do way more approaches. funny how my mind tricks me into having AA.
i went to belleville house party with CL. Before we went I was practicing tae kwon doe with a friend and I realized how in my head i was. we get to the house and i feel out of the state until i meet people i know - arnie and nate. i played some pong. this fat girl let me drink out of her flask i chat with for a bit. i talk with my friends to get in the social state.
i say hi to the birthday girl. later i smoke up and in the line i'm talking to this cute girl with highlights. when i go in, she goes in too and sits next to me. i should have gamed her at that point but i kept thinking. i was analyzing people in front of me, i have to replace that thought pattern if i ever want to be good. no analyzing, just BE. i should be in set the entire night. like how nate was the wild funny party boy. i was taking things too seriously. i just have to let go and be aggressive. there's nothing to THINK about.
i saw how one of the dancer guys was directing the highlighed hair girl how to smoke, it was dominant and the way he touched her.
hanging out at home is relaxing. i've been doing karaoke and studying NLP. but there's no opp to socialize and develop my emotional acuity when it comes to socializing. i may as well take the time to do some online dating, i can ALWAYS make good use of my time. Get one week of experience in one day. Talk to 30 people. get the ball rolling.
any good free online dating websites?
exercising really pumps my state and puts me in a positive, productive mood, ideal for socializing.
-identify SPs/ Do Drills/ Rehearse new routines
I hit up a bunch of ppl on fb yesterday. was going to hiro but decided not to at least moment. have a ski trip lined up for tuesday and another one later this week. still need to get apartment and job thing figured out. should be priority.
regardless, i can feel my natural instincts getting weaker when im at home. i feel like i have to put in effort to stay social - which means i don't have enough practice. i should be thinking about this all the time. thinking of comebacks, thinking of what i can improve on, living in my own reality. anytime i feel like impressing or caring what others think - BAM - cut if off. work on positive thought loop. let rejection pump my state and use the King frame.
going to hit up the mall, make a bunch of phone calls, get some interaction in.... im feeling too comfortable at home.
i need to be around naturals.
Winter break is here.
I will begin my 30 day challenge of going out every single day.
Whether it's the mall, club, house party, grocery store, etc. I will go out and socialize with 20 people a day MINIMUM. I'm going to get a sales job as well, which will help with cold approach.
I will post up field report here, as well as keep accountability buddies. (WHO IS DOWN???)
30 days/ 20 ppl a day = 600 interactions
I believe that getting positive reference experiences thru being AGGRESSIVE is the only way to get good. That means getting 10 years of social experience in an year. More than an years social experience in a month. It's about WORKING OUT the social muscles, and adapting to high stimulus social environments and taking on high value thought/behavior patterns.
My goal is to have at least 3 D2's lined up during the week.
Dispute me if you believe other wise. Keep up with the upcoming field reports.
sometimes i'll be in a situation with other people. and instead of getting into it, i'll try to analyze it, i'll watch ppl's facial expressions, and see how they react to each other. this a bad habit, it keeps me in my head and lose sight of the bigger picture of what's going on.
i was watching myself on video, and it gave me a new level of self-awareness. at every single given moment, FOCUS ON YOUR REALITY. be internally centered. when i'm at the club, im focusin on gettin exp for myself, im not there to fuckin impress other people.
i do things to make my life better and to be a better person. that way, i'll be able to better be of service. it's win/win.
you can't learn something like pickup thru text. text can only make sense of past exp.
amber lounge - had a great time dancing and talking. should have talked to more ppl.
the way to get girls is to RESET HABITS. remove fear, all sticking points vanish.
now, i'm not afraid to talk, flirt, date, and make moves physically. that's the ONLY difference between me now and my old self.
flirt with EVERYONE. hang out with the girls who are down. escalate. close. get positive ref exp.
-talk to everyone.