"The ability to subtly communicate that you understand female sexuality, that you appreciate it fully without judgmentalism of any kind and you VALUE it completely for what it is… IS the only DHV you’ll ever need.
It’s the reason a PUA can walk in alone into a crowded venue… do a few sets and walk out with a girl. (Or, at the very least, walk out with a few OPTIONS for low-maintenance, low-effort sexual relationships.)"
CJ Game Plan
The first realization is the purpose of your Game Plan is to get you laid consistently by the type of women you want.
The second realization is you can’t go out with the purpose of getting laid.
The third realization is every action should be judged on its overall (GLOBAL) purpose rather than its immediate effect.
A dichotomy? Yes and no.
Your focus needs to be adjusting your behaviors until you can run through your Game Plan with an unconscious smoothness.
When your Game Plan is not getting you what you want you need to focus on something else…
1. What to change
2. To what to change to
3. How to cause the change
This is what I call “Sticking Point Analysis” and I credit it with my last 18 lays. I learned early on I needed to have more than a Game Plan, I needed a method for IMPROVING the Game Plan if I was ever to get to where I wanted to go.
Once you understand the basic courtship process and start running your Game Plan in the field you will start to notice where your sarges are failing. You’ll notice patterns. They are failing in the same places quite often.
Step 1. Identify Your Sticking Points
Sticking points limit the entire system’s output. (The system being your Game Plan and the output being lays.) Therefore we have to stop focusing on getting laid and instead focus on fixing the sticking points.
Step 2. Decide How to Fix the Sticking Point (SP)
Now that you have identified the SP the next step is to find possible solution(s) for fixing that sticking point. Pick one way to fix it and commit to 10 tries with that solution.
Step 3: Subordinate your Game Plan to the above decision.
Redesign your Game Plan to implement the fix for that SP.
Step 4: Elevate the Sticking Point.
With your redesigned Game Plan you will go out and start hunting for opportunities to break the SP. You will subordinate everything to working on your SP. That means you will EVEN give up a lay opportunity for a chance to work on Sticking Points (unless you haven’t yet had 2-3 lays from the Game – in which point I say take the lays as it will give you a better Global view and a nice boost of confidence.)
There will come a time when you break that SP.
Step 5: This is a continuous process. Go back to step 1.
My suggestion is to work on 3 SPs at a time. Experience has shown me that every set will not present you an opportunity to work on an SP. However, if you have 3 then you have a good shot at getting a few repetitions per night."
-Not Arranging D2s for all the girls I meet
-Not properly taking care of LMR
-Going for next girl when I could have fixed it with current girl
2. Fix (Commit 10 tries to solution)
-Set up back to back D2s the day after every timebridge. I already have D2 plan laid out.
-Be aggressive. Freeze out.
-Any girl I haven't laid is still an option. Flirt, and D2 them.
3. re-design game plan
The only real thing holding me back is FEAR and LOGISTICS. If live in my hometown it'll be impossible to D2 since I don't have a car. I would have to move to friend's dorm for this to even be an option. Fuck. My only real STICKING POINT here is LOGISTICS. If I could live at my friend's place, than I could still hang out at other girl's dorms or sleep at Travis or Jon's place and if I find a girl who is down we can do it there or at her place. Yea that's my only choice right now, I need to get a job and live at Fare's/Jon's/Travis/Oz for any of this to happen.
i was on campus for another day today and i just pushed myself to talk to my friends even though i was feeling like shit and wasn't in the mood. just talking to positive cool people makes me feel normal again. when i'm studying a lot or at home bored i get into cycles of negative self talk and starting thinking about irrelevant things. it's like slight paranoia. but when i hang out with friends, it goes away.
i watched "Lie to Me" the Fox show because a PU Instructor DJ Fuji recommended it due to its benefit to learning PU. watch as the main character lightman is unreactive and confident and witty and how he reads body language. watching it while keeping Dj's analysis of it in mind let me focus on what's important in an interaction, eg. bodylanguage. i remember i how i used to get lost in interaction because i'd be so in my head.
i was typing my papers (i had to do 5 papers) today and i realized that even thought i felt like i couldn't do it, and my mind resisted it, i just said "fuck it" and pushed through because it was the "right thing to do." i have to do this more instead of just letting laziness hold me back. another thing, i realized that i need to be doing regular physical activity and surrounding myself with social, positive people in order to develop the right HABITS. Habits build CHARACTER and ultimately CHANGES you.
Hope this helps someone out there.
It’s 7 in the morning right now and Im just in my head. I just woke up from a dream where I told I was on a trip with friends and something was going on. Lin was there. She was just chilling there I think I was getting her back or maybe she was my girl idk. But it felt weird because I’d always thought a girlfriend would just be perfect and everything’d be rose and butterflies.. but reality can’t be like that. That’s the shit from movies. I’ve been in short relationships.. I’ve seen friends in relationships… it’s never perfect. It’s like with lin. Idk why I cant stop thinking about her. It’s like how I got myself to have strong feelings for patty and then tammy for a while. U invest in something and then can’t get it… then u feel like u just want it back. I know she liked me a lot. Our relationship was so short. Like 2 weeks.. I didn’t know what to do when she played hard to get. I should have just kept hitting her up. She liked me. Jo gives ferrie a hard time and acts insecure and emotional. He puts up with it. I just get mad and thinks she’s being stupid or trying to mess with me. If I want to be in a relationship I have to deal with that. Starting with girls right now. I know im better than 95% of guys out there. I just have to let my best self show. I have VALUE to add to these girl’s lives. Im tired of watching other people in their relationships. It’s all inner dialogue. I need to handle the reality in front of me. The way I do it. This is done and practiced, not studied.
Went back to school today, It felt weird at first immersing myself in a social environment after being isolated for the past few weeks. I really need to be in this type of environment -- with friends who are accustomed to being social -- in order to keep my skills up. Being home and going to the mall every other day just won't do it. If I go back home, I have to form another group that I'm constantly in contact with, doing stuff with... it's all too easy for me to revert back into lazy, weak behavior habits....
What I first felt was a new environment (college, being with cool friends) as being responsible for giving me the balls to become stronger and dominant and getting girls... was just something that gave me confidence... It never was because I was in a new place, or that I was around the right people, or that I was "doing" anything in particular, or because I just made out a with a chick last week --- it was because I GAVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO BE STRONG and do what I'm supposed to do.
I'm looking for reasons to be confident. There's nothing stopping me. I always WAS good. I just FORGOT. If I want to be the ultimate player, a leader, all I have to do is ACT like it and I AM.
I just read Brad Branson's article on "Extreme Self Love" and I resonate with it to a high degree. When I look back to how much I've changed and what actually "motivated" me to change, it was largely "love of myself." I felt as if I deserved to have a girlfriend and the fun social life all the people around me were having. Not because I wanted to live up to their standards but because I felt like NOBODY was better than me, so if THEY could have it then I deserve it as well.
This "sense of entitlement is what got me started and the reason why I experienced success with girls. That little "tweak" in my reality did it all. I don't believe in religion, so I set VALUES for myself:
- Being good at whatever I'm focusing on (whether it is school, girls, business, etc.)
- Loyalty, Work Ethic,
- Family, Health
I do believe that I'm BETTER than most people. This belief was crucial to my sucess because it gave me motivation and belief in myself. But like Brad said, this not a false sense of superiority (I do eat healthier and work smarter than most people) and it's definitely not something I brag about. I'm still humble to all and have no ego when I'm learning from others. I just believe that I can do what most people would give up on, which is true.
I "bend reality" when I see things this way because I "empower" myself. Life has no meaning except what you give it, so why not SEE THINGS IN A WAY THAT EMPOWERS YOURSELF?"
Everything can be reframed into something positive and empowering, so I feel pity for those who see themselves as "victims" and have no self-esteem. To me, they're like insane people. They have weak realities and are fighting a battle that only exists in their minds. I control my thoughts and emotions and will only see the world in a way in which I'M THE SHIT. Like Brad says, I'm a hero in my mind. I would rather die than think in any other way.
I train my subsconscious in a way that SERVES me, and I get the results that I want. I live in my reality and don't bother about the standards of others. I don't give a shit. I know I'll be successful in business, just as I know I will get the results I want with women. There's NO CHANCE IN HELL that it won't happen. Because I'm me. I'm Aurelius. I'm the one in the Matrix like Neo. This is my LIFE PHILOSOPHY at the age of 22.
Hope this makes sense and inspires some of you.
when i first got into PUA literature i was socially underdeveloped. i had maybe the social experience of a 12 year old even though i was 20. So even though PUA literature gave me confidence to socialize with girls, which gave me experience so I now have friends and a much better social life -- i became a social robot. i crave attention from girls, all i think about all day is getting girls, and I have an addiction to reading PUA material. i think about it ALL the time. my life has no balance, i fucked up my grades and I still have no job and no girlfriend.
i need to get my life in order right now. focus on health, wealth and relationships. completely detox on PUA stuff for one full year.
Aurelius signs out.
I just read over some of my old posts from the Fall. It's crazy how analytical I am. That shit is not helping me.
I talked to an old friend the other day. The way this guy sees things is so simple and goofy. He doesn't take anything seriously. I shouldn't take things so seriously either. Life isn't serious unless you make it. I just got into a argument with someone I care about... it was so NOT worth it... like I should have just agreed and not responded to anything that pissed me off.
Simple. The reason I've been anxious lately is because I'm figuring out who I am. I don't think I'll ever find out. All I can do is BE WHO I WANT TO BE. Do what I want and feel good about it. I can't care about too much else. Love myself and be strong so others will be inspired by my positivity.
Find a job and get the rest of my school work done.....
I had my first make out in summer 2009. That was during spin the bottle. I made out with two girls I knew at a Bday party at Elevate, which did a lot of for my confidence. I started hanging out with cool friends and improved my social skills. I still had a fear of clubs. I made out with a girl at house party, my identity evolved. I had cool friends and a new reality. I hooked up with 5 girls in 2010, all from social circle.. I was in an LTR during most of the spring. During the summer I went home and wasted a bunch of time - I fell back into old behavior habits. I tried to get with this girl my friend brought with him to the hookah bar. At the end of summer I hooked up with this Japanese girl, which shook my reality again since I hadn't had any female contact in so long. It changed me into a player, and I tried to get with her for the next month. It never happened, but going out and hanging with other players, being on my own -- gave me confidence to take on new behaviors and sense of entitlement
I hooked up with a girl from one of my old classes. It felt almost effortless because I was used to being a player at this point. My new beliefs and experiences made me into an aggressive, cocky playful, dominany guy. I remember putting my arm around her when seeing her -- something I never would have done in 2009. I had evolved into a man. That's who I am now. What used to be a new behavior became integrated into my identitiy. She loved me and I showed her my awesome life. But somewhere in me, I could still feel the old AFC. I started thinking I had to "Do" all these things rather than just "Be" myself in the best way. When she played hard to get I didn't know how to handle it.
The week after I hooked up with a chick I approached at an event where all my friends were. It wasn't because they were there, It was my confidence that made her attracted. We hooked up after one hour and she gave me head the next morning. Lovely. After that, I met this girl from at the flilipino event, and I could tell she was attracted, but logistics weren't in my favor so I started going clubbing. I talked to a girl at the club and got her number it was really easy, my friend got a girls number and we hanged out with them a few weeks later they were cool.
I got two numbers on NYE and made a bunch of contacts. Much more to come 2011. :)
Mark Manson said that game is "the systematic identification and destruction of one’s sexual anxieties, followed by practical reflection on which behaviors work and don’t work for you."
I think this is dead on. I remember sitting with a girl a met at a party just an hour ago, knowing that it was going to be on... staring at a lake, thinkng to myself... wow.. i hated myself for so long because I thought I couldn't get girls... that there was something wrong with me.... that I had to learn PUA mind tricks... it was ALL BULLSHIT.
Girls were always attracted to me, It just didn't feel right for me to escalate. I felt like it wasn't me. So until I was 21, when I had this girl that was clearly into me and wanted to make out with me since day one, I had to get drunk to finally make out with her. Even THEN, I felt like I had to learn all this PUA bullshit. I mean, I saw other guys get girls, they were just confident and dominant -- but that would be HARD for me to do, because I was used to being TIMID. So instead of just looking myself in the mirror and manning up, I felt like I had to get all these *tactics* and bullshit.
Fuck man, I feel like I wasted SO MUCH TIME because of my retarded ways of thinking. FUCK, imagine all the I could have had!!!!! But it's all good, I'm only 22 and I'm grateful that I *get* it now. I still have anxiety, but I understand as a MAN, that I won't let it hold me back. Not with women, not with business, not with achieving my vision for myself. I have evolved into a HIGHER UNDERSTANDING of myself and that feels good.
I have love for myself and those around me and i'm POSITIVE about the future because I see how much I have improved in the past, in such a short amount of time. But I can do SO MUCH MORE. I'm always reaching my potential. HAHA!
I have to approach 20 girls a day and hang out with cool guys. Harvest the numbers I have so I can work on Day 2's and endgame.
Went to club saturday night. Talked to girls at the line, should have kept chatting it up. I was annoyed at them for cutting the line, but I should have just talked to warm up. I remember the last time I was at Webster I met these cute chinese girls my cousin introduced to me I got her number, I just hugged her and was really positive and happy. Kissed her on the cheek. I got this other girls number too. All in the positive, dominant vibe.
This time my AA was high and I didn't approach, I just had fun dancing. I have to go out more often, being at home makes me introspective and over-analytical, which is my nature. I should be doing activities that get me out of my head, that are not related to girls. Having a cute girl is nice, but it comes and goes and should never define me in any way. I had a fucked up belief when I got into this in 2009 (when I read the Game) that women were the most important thing. I have to replace all the retarded social conditioned beliefs I used to have because they affect how I interpret the world. Fuckkkkk!
I realized that all the success I've gotten with girls was because I "Let go" and connected with being a Man rather than being a bitch. That was it. It wasn't because I was "doing anything" particular. It's all in the vibe, the way I came off. It took all this "game" for me to just LET GO and be a MAN. This has awakened to other things. Now I want to work on my business and other areas of my life. I focus too much on girls as a way to measure my success.
I'm still going to go out every night I can and work on my career and hobbies (lifting, public speaking).