Field Reports

 
Was just reading Brad Branson's blog, a lot of good mindsets that I can relate with. I really need to get my life in order and start going out more. I miss the days in the fall where I felt like I was going through girl after girl. I realized recently that everytime I go back home, I'll feel like I'm back at a time when I wasn't as confident. But in reality only the environment changed, not me.

I'm developing core confidence so I can be myself regardless of the environment. I went to a party saturday night. Intense experience. The birthday girl's boyfriend killed himself. Here I was, in my self-pitying, analytical mindset, too disconnected to see that there was a outside reality with insecure, flawed people. I missed the big picture. The boyfriend seemed like a good guy from his blog. Really loved his girl, was stressed from his architecture work, from what I hear he was emotional and little shy. And he took his own life. It's something I won't forget and I'll use as fuel to drive my own life.

I remember feeling uncalibrated that night, felt hard to maintain good contact, but after talking to a bunch of people (and a few drinks) I got social and made some cool friends. It was all good. I really have to go out more. I remember thinking about how I should stop focusing on things that didn't help me and just working on being a better, stronger person. Old memories of the girls I got with last fall came up. When I was in my college apartment, I felt more indepedent, more like I HAD to do this my own, I had to shift my paradigms BECAUSE I HAD NOTHING ELSE TO FALL BACK ON.

I learned the most through action, not thinking oh should I do this or that, pros and cons blah blah. When in doubt, just take ACTION. Keep doing it until its second nature and soon everything will make sense. I'm just a guy. I have limitations. I can't understand everything. But I know I'm the shit. I know i'm smart and cool. I trust in that.  I have to keep moving though and not the let the world i built in my head to get any bigger.

I know what I have to do, and it will be done. It will FEEL right. I know exactly what needs to be done. If i'm not calibrated, then I will work on it until I have. I am the ONE.
Login or register to post.

Related Posts