Field Reports

 
thursday:
went to retreat lounge, it was too crowded so i went with the boys over to ktown and talked.

friday:
new years eve. chilled in jrole's room all day and then dressed up and hit the city. tried out new faux hawk look. im sticking with it! we get to ktown and join andrew wang's table to celebrate nye. i talked to this cute chinese girl and got her number. we were playing this finger game, good way to break the ice and control the frame. i was social with everyone so she thought that i knew everyone and came to the bar a lot. i'm going to D2 her.

p approached a 3set outside. white girl makes out with him. her BT is high, but her friends get dragged away by these korean douches.

i meet this texan/spanish player who tells me how easy it is to get girls in texas but pickup is hard in the city. he doesn't give a shit and has no AA at all. he compliments groups of girls walking down the street and tells me how he fucked a girl in the bathroom earlier in the night. he's not good looking and is really goofy. but fearless and out of his head. very aggressive. that's what i need to be. stop analyzing, stop making excuses, and just creep out hundreds of girls. that is the only way to get good. i cant intellectualize this shit. lesson learned.

creep out girls. be aggressive. stop caring. what is MY OBJECTIVE?

saturday:
i went to the city with jrole and met up with oleg and his gf later. i kept thinking about how i just have to be myself in the purest way and be aggressive. be a man. fuck all pua theory. i think way too much. i was at dave and busters getting depressed because all i can think about all day is having a girlfriend and how much that would change my life. its made me lose all joy in my life. it's made me lose joy in small things like toys and games.. it's like everyone is about getting the girl now.. i used to have a external pillar of reality and im only recently getting internally centered. so it's like my reality is fucked up and wired in a weird way. i just have to understand that i'm the one and i have to live in my reality and condition my mind to be positive. it's in me. i know it is. i just have to stop hiding from myself and confront my fears head on.

i need to do way more approaches. funny how my mind tricks me into having AA.
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