Field Reports

I feel down right now because of whats happened recently involving this girl that i was involved with last month. I should just let it go. she's replaceable. I looked at how my friends escalate touching and teasing. so i started doing it myself. that's all it is. Eye contact, projecting voice, smiling, being playful, not being detered by bullshit girl throws at you, controlling the convo, being able to just be chill. going for the kiss. dominating her.

it's easy stuff. as soon as i started being more aggressive, i got girls. this one girl now is acting weird. i make plans with her but she makes excuses and doesn't seem glad to see me even she wants me to know her more. i already forgot about jap girl, she still flirts with me. last night at a party she had her head on my shouler, i put her knee on my lap and I had a three way makeout. that was when i decided to be a full blown player and fuck being mr nice guy.

i will try to get in the pants of every decent looking girl i lay my sights on. all i'm going to focus on from now til school ends in december is HEALTH, SCHOOL, NETWORKING and SEX. I feel like if I put this to the side, I will be depressed forever. Maybe I'm not seeing things straight right now, but I can't believe I'm still where I'm at right now. All this PU literature floating in my head, when I all I had to do was be cool and push push push.

I have to make this a priority in my life. Of course HEALTH and FAMILY are above all. But other than that, SCHOOL and SEX. These are the two GAMES i will master. OTher kids play Halo and Solitaire. I'm playing this game. I'm a player. I'm going to contact a bunch of chicks I already know, make friends with new ones. Be nce and outgoing, hang out at the dorm, take them to my place and BANG.

I feel like after I thought I had this one girl hooked, I lost motivation and started believing that since she liked me I could just chill and not be socially dominant anymore. I did this with my last LTR, I rested my confidence on them, I should be confident because of who I am and what I've done. Not over some emotional, silly insecure chick. I took it too seriously. I had a breakdown the other day and even cried over this girl.

I'm going to be a player. THat means I will flirt and be touchy with everyone. I will not apologize for my desires as a man. I remember having her a over and thinking I shouldn't fuck her because she probably wouldn't want to go that FAST. WHAT? What kind of world do i live in? she invited herself over prob wanting me to fuck her, and i could have barreled thru it. spanish guys i hang with fuck chicks all the time. it's not a big deal to them, they don't put analysis in it and see it as a big deal. chick is DTF, so fuck em.

I will emulate their good parts, such as their projection of confidence (swag, speech, indifferent attitude) and get their results. i'm SMARTER than them and will WORK HARDER than them. I need to have my mind motivated on a worthy goal or I just lose myself. FOCUS on this. I'll get it. FUck PU theory and LIVE MY LIFE. See the world thru my eyes... 

I'm the one. I see the girls I want. I'll get them. Even if it means creeping out a whole bunch, I'll get it. I'll go out every night for the next two years if I have to. I won't be uptight and scared like I used to be once upon a time. I know who I am and people will accept my frame. Endless repetition. Master of my world.

I grew up so introverted and shy. Now I'm becomign the opposite. The person I want to be is extrovert, socially dominant, positive, and a master of his reality. I'm a great public speaker and communicator and awesome with women.
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